Girls are complicated. They always say one thing that really translate to mean something entirely different. Watch Chauntel give a few reasonable translations.
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21-year-old J from Flordia writes:
13-year-old Antoine writes:
Hey Chauntel,
Theres this women i like. I’m only 13, and she is like 21 and married. Would it matter if i tell her or should i just keep it balled up inside and never tell anybody?
Hi Antoine,
It’s perfectly normal for you to have a crush, but telling her how you feel would be inappropriate. Sometimes we have to control our inner thoughts. It is during these times that we keep our thoughts to ourselves.
The first issue that we have here is age. She is much too old for you. In fact, she could legally go to jail if she had any dealings with you. Second she is married, and you should never pursue a married woman. It is not honorable.
There will be plenty of wonderful women in your life. So, you are going to have to let this one go. Instead of thinking of it as keeping it bottled up inside, think of it as letting go of your impossible desires.
This is one you are going to have to walk away from. If you really feel like you need to share it. Talk to a close friend who you can trust, or find an artistic expression. You could write a poem or paint something. You can even write  a song. Just don’t attach her name to any of it.
I Hope This Helps!
Chauntel
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7th grader Allie from Kansas writes:
Hi Chauntel,
Ok well I have a good friendship with this guy, and I am 2 afraid 2 ask him out. Â Everyone says that he likes me, but i am so afraid that he will say no. What should i do? Please help me!!!!!!
Hi Allie,
Well, you have already followed my advice and took the first step which is building a friendship with him. I am so proud of you!
Now what you have to do is gather the courage within yourself to ask him out.
I know this is a scary thing to do, but love is worth the risk. If he says no, it will be ok. It will hurt a little, but after you get through the pain you will be glad you did it because it will give you piece of mind to know one way or the other.
But you also have to consider the benefits of him saying yes, you will finally have a chance at love with your crush.
When you start off the conversation just let him know how you are glad that you all have become friends. You can then explain why if you like, but you don’t have to. Then let him know that you are interested in getting to know him as more than friends, and you were wondering if he felt the same way. Wait for his response. (This is the hard part.)
Then, if he says he’d rather stay friends, take it like a champ. Smile and say ok, and let him know that you understand and that you are glad you can still be friends.
If he says yes, then go girl! Good for you.
By the way. I have a video on this topic that you might find helpful:
I Hope This Helps!
Chauntel
email questions to askchauntel@gmail.com
Hey Ladies,
If you’d rather keep him smiling instead of frowning and fightin’, you might want to consider these tips.
1. Take Time to Listen: As women, we sometimes get so caught up in ourselves that we sometimes forget to take a moment to listen to what our mate is saying. He may not repeat it a million times like we do, but if he said it then he must have meant it. So consider his feelings and make sure that he understands that they matter.
2. Make Him Feel Loved: Amidst the hustle and bustle of the day, we can forget the little things that he sometimes requests. Try to find 3 of those things that you can add to your week. Trust me he will notice.Â
3. Be Attentive:Â When he talks about his hobbies that you don’t care too much about actually pay attention, and give a comment that isn’t snarky. Take the time to enjoy the conversation and even add to it. He mostly just wants to share with you, but he would love it if you actually cared about it.
4. Encourage Him:Â Men always want a woman who can add light to their life. If he mentions a new idea, or even an old one. Smile and if it’s not something that’s going to harm him in anyway encourage him and support his decisions.
5. Cook For Him:Â Ahhhh, you knew this was coming. Whether or not a man can cook, he always loves it when his lady does it for him. If you don’t know how learn.
If you do this right you will keep him around for a long time. ‘Cause guess what? It’s nice to be nice. 🙂Â
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32-year-old Lesley writes:
Dear Chauntel,
I have 2 children their father passed away. I started dating 2 years ago a year back he started telling what to do, where to go where i can not go. And when i did not listen to his commands, he started beating and i kept quiet and he will tell me the next day that he did not mean to hurt me.
But now it is happening each and every week that i cannot attend church services coz im seeing other men.
Please help what do I do? I cant sleep at night  i wish that i could be around people all the time. My self esteem is so down. I feel useless.
Dear Lesley,
It is difficult when you loose someone you love. Sometimes relationships like the one that you are in come into your life and become unbearable. I understand that you are in love with this man by the simple fact that you are still with him.
If not for your own life, you have been blessed with the gift of children, and for this reason you have to get out of this situation. This man does not mean any good to you. And it’s horrible to put your children through this. They do not need to see their mother being abused. It will tear them up inside.
I understand that you are in a controlling, abusive, and extremely dangerous situation. If he is controlling you to the point where you cannot even go to church you are going to have to get out soon. Make an excuse to leave the house and take the kids with you. Even if it is just the grocery store. Don’t take anything. That is not important. Take what is absolutely necessary and get out. There are women’s shelters that you can go to that will provide you with everything you need to start over.
This is a very unfortunate situation, and I will be praying for you. You need to seek help and support. Don’t try to do this alone. You may even consider reporting this to the police as soon as possible.
If you don’t get out of this situation your children will suffer. I am not sure of local agencies where you are, but if you visit http://www.domesticviolence.org they should be able to direct you to the services that you need.
Be Blessed and thanks for writing.
Chauntel
email questions to askchauntel@gmail.com
34-year-old Farzan from Sweden writes:
Hello Chauntel! I have a question and this is easier to ask a woman than a man.
When it comes to internet dating I know what to do, and I have meet many women different ages without problem. But im soo tired of internet and im seeing soo many women looking at me when im outside, at the bus stop, in a caffe and so on. My question is what to DO when a woman stares at u time to time. Im not blind, i know the look, im only shy 🙂 If u can give me few tip i can take it from there. I see sooooo many women look at me and i cant respond and i want to bang my head to a wall of being this shy.
Hi Farzan,
Women who continue to make eye contact with you are trying to signal to you that they are interested and waiting for you to approach them. I know this can seem odd, or even awkard for most men because guys don’t usually read body language as well as women.
It is just in our nature to send you a signal and wait for you to send one back. The problem with this is that signals can get mixed up and confused at times. So, if you see a women looking your way on a constant basis who slips you a smile, it might be safe to say that she is interested and trying to get your attention. It’s just a subtle way of flirting. So…how do you respond to this, right? I know that is what you were thinking.
You smile back making eye contact then you approach her. Say hello, introduce yourself, and start up a conversation. From there follow up with asking for her number because you enjoyed the conversation. If she is interested, she will comply and slip you her digits. If not, well she might have just been being friendly when she slipped you that smile, but it is definitely worth a try. It beats waiting at your computer glaring at your online dating profile.
Not to say that they don’t work for some, but it is not for everyone. If you don’t like it then don’t do it. Just get out more. Get around people, meet your friends friends. Go where women are, then you will have more to choose from. It is time to get out of your routine. Move away from your bubble so that you can begin meeting more women.
I Hope This Helps,
Chauntel
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