If you need to get life coaching and you are ready for premarital coaching as you are praying for your future husband. Then check out this relationship and self love video for advice.
It is so important that as we seek premarital coaching that we understand the need for loving ourself before we walk into a romantic relationship. Once we have established who we are we will be more prepared for a committed relationship.
Forgiveness has the kind of healing power that you need to overcome the pain that you have experienced or are preparing to experience. The question is how, how do we find it within ourselves to forgive whether it is an affair or some type of betrayal learning to forgive is challenging for us all. Can we find it within ourselves to forgive pain that is so deep when it comes into our lives? Let’s talk about it girl!
I have been making some very scary decisions lately. The kind of decisions that are life changing. These are the decisions that lead you to self discovery in your twenties. All of us “20 somethings” are faced with important decision after decision. And one does effect the other. So the pressure is on, and it seems non-stop.
What are these decisions I speak of:
Where will I go to college?
When will I go to college?
Where will I work after college?
Should I travel?
Should I study abroad?
Who will I marry?
How will I find the right one?
Do I want to have kids?
How many kids do I want to have?
When should I start having kids?
What do I want to be when I grow up?
How will I become that professional?
Have I made my parents proud?
When should I have the next kid?
When can I buy a house?
Where will I live?
What job should I apply for?
What job should I take?
Who should I be friends with?
Who am I?
What makes me happy?
Do I like my church?
Where can I find a church?
Do I like myself?
When should I work out? And how much?
As I began writing tonight I realized that apparently, I have a lot to say.
I think about these things all the time, and you would have thought that I would have thought to blog about it right?
Well, I didn’t think of this. Which is very ironic because, I have had this blog for about 8 years. Very rarely have I blogged about myself, occasionally maybe. I purposely left myself out. So maybe it is time for a big scary change. Well scary for me anyway.
Now, to be honest, the fear comes from the unknown, the vulnerability of speaking from my heart. However, you know that is were all the good stuff is anyway right? At least that is what I would like to think.
There is no way that all I have to say can go into one entry. So here is what we are doing. We are making this into a new series on the blog. This series will be entitled as you see above: Confessions of a Mommy Blogger. I will be posting every Monday. Sometimes, it will be this series and others I will just blog about my daily life.
Haha, now I know that I am being very evasive, but work with me here. I am dealing with a lot of abstract thoughts. And yes, I have been told countless times, that I am so “deep”. Let’s begin with what inspired this whole idea anyway.
So, I work as a Substitute Teacher, and I subbed at my old high school this week. I ran right into one of my old coaches. Who is apparently not just a tennis coach, but a life coach too. 🙂 To my surprise, when she saw me she very boldly and quickly asked me what I was still doing here subbing.
That lead to a conversation about finding myself. She told me since I want to blog, then it was time that I began blogging about it. She told me that I am not the only one going through this, and I should share it!
Needless to say, I was enlightened and encouraged so Coach Gagnon thank you! We are off to a great start I can feel it!
A harsh reality is that many people around us are hurting. At times they cannot see a way to overcome their pain and circumstances. It is during these times that we have to be there to show our love and support.
This post is inspired by a viewer who sent me a question recently about wanting to prevent themselves from committing suicide.
To the Person Having Suicidal Thoughts:
You are Loved
It is important for you to know that you are loved. It may seem like everyone and everything around you is going downhill and out of your control, but even during the times that you feel alone just know that you are loved. Even if the people around you do not show you love, God loves you.
Remind yourself that you matter. At times we feel unwanted and unneeded because people in our lives have made us feel like we are not important. Don’t let those horrible people define you. If you were not here, someone would miss you. In most cases many will miss you.
You Have a Purpose Exclusive to You
If you didn’t know it, you have a purpose. There are specific gifts and talents that have been given to you that no one can take away. Even if you have been told that you are not good enough, strong enough, smart enough, you have to believe that you are.
Sometimes it takes time to define your purpose in life. However, it is important for you to know that no one can live your purpose for you. You were made by God for a specific reason. Only you can find that, and if you take it upon yourself to take your life you are robbing the world of your gifts and talents.
Life is Worth Living
Even during the hard times, you must remember that your life is truly worth living. There is nothing so bad in life that you should take your on life. There is always another option. You have other choices. There is a way to make your situation and your circumstance better, but you have to allow time and effort to make those changes happen.
Many times when a person is having suicidal thoughts its because they spend too much time alone. Sometimes we rob ourselves of time with others for one reason or another, but we all need someone. You cannot live life alone. You were not born alone, you didn’t live alone(within reason there is always someone near you even if they are a house away), and if you can help it you shouldn’t die alone.
Get Professional Help
If you have someone around you that you can trust talk to that individual, and let them know what is going on with you, this way they can be there to support you. They can also assist you in finding the help that you need and deserve.
It is important for you to find professional help. Therefore, seek out a therapist or psychologist who can support you. They will help you to talk it out and identify the root of your problem so that you can continue moving forward.
Crisis Help Resources
I have some resources available for you here on my website. There are prayer hotlines as well as suicide hotlines that you can utilize if you are in a crisis listed on that page.
To Friends Providing Support
An individual who is having suicidal thoughts really needs your support. They probably won’t want help, but guide them to the help that they need. Make sure that the key players in their lives are aware of what is going on. Check in with them often and make sure that they are okay. Make sure that they know that they are loved and have a place in your life.
Whatever you do, do not turn a blind eye to this situation, and be sure that they are receiving help and talking it through. They may not want to be around people, but insure that they are. Too much time alone can result in more time for them to get deeper into their depression. Realize that this is a real thing, that they can overcome.
If you have every been through a difficult time in your life where you experienced molestation this video should provide you with some help and comfort. Share it with others who you think will find it helpful!
I haven’t had my first kiss. I’m just the type of person who over thinks and I’m not quite sure how to kiss someone. I know first kisses might be over rated but I just want my to be something I won’t be embarrassed about. Thanks for everything hope you can answer soon.
I know that everyone makes you feel like you have to have your first kiss by a certain time in order for you to be cool or accepted. However, don’t let the peer pressure get to you. You are not defined by your age when it comes to something as special as your first kiss. When it is time for it to happen it will. However, I do think you are putting a little too much pressure on it. It shouldn’t be treated as a chore! It should be fun and spontaneous. You learn most of it in the moment.
I d0n’t kn0w what do. I need advice. My husband is a drug abuser, and our relationship is not working. However, I love him and so do our children.
We have tried to come to an agreement, but it is useless. How long will I wait for him to be a good man and not always lie? I want to leave him, but its really hurtful. I don’t want to regret anything. I feel like it would be ruining my own family. I am also dealing with verbal abuse from him.
Please help me Chauntel!
Hi Lily Ann,
You are in a very difficult situation, and I am sorry that you have to endure such pain. However, I applaud you for admitting that this is a challenge in your life and seeking for a way to face it.
It is essential that your husband receives professional help. However, he has to be ready and willing to seek out this help. Neither you nor anyone else can make him change, it has to be a conscious decision that he wants to make in his life.
It reminds me of the metaphor, you can bring a horse to water, but you cannot make him drink.
So here is my advice to you, seek some spiritual counseling for yourself and for your children. If you are not involved in a church I think now is a great time to introduce yourself and your children to the comfort and support that God brings.
Then, I want you to utilize the resources around you to get your husband the help that he needs and deserves. If he is willing to receive help great, you guys can work towards a positive future. If you are not able to find resources around you. I have a list of Crisis Help Resources here on my website that should be of use to you. Here is the link.
In addition, if he is causing harm to you and your children and is not in the mindset to receive help or make a change you will have to part ways with him. I know that this is a very difficult situation to be in, and no wife wants to leave her husband. However, you have to consider you and your children’s safety and well being.
I hope that he is willing to receive help to break this bad habit and find spiritual peace within himself as well, but it is truly his decision to make.
You can bring him to the water of life, but he has to choose to follow you and take the steps necessary to try to make a better life for you and your children.
If he does not, he will leave you with no choice but to part ways.
I will be praying for you and your family. I hope it works out, and I wish you all the best!
Peace and Love!
email questions to firstname.lastname@example.org send questions to Insta/Twitter @askchauntel
I this question comes from a youtube viewer named Jessica Roberts! I screen-shot her question below.
The best way to convince your mom or dad to let you have an Instagram is to show them that you are responsible. Many times your parents may have a hard time with allowing you to use social media accounts because they are afraid that you are not mature enough to handle the responsibility.
The truth is that owning social media really has become apart of what we do and who we are socially, but it also forces you to mature very quickly. What you post on Instagram, Twitter, Facebook, Youtube, etc…. can effect you for the rest of your life.
I know that, that sounds a little over-kill, but it is so true. It is called your online footprint. Once it is posted it is available for all to see and even if you delete it, it may have already been screen-shot or recorded. So at 11 or 12 years old that is a lot of responsibility in your hands. This is most likely why your parents are choosing to be so selective with allowing you to have an Instagram account.
Having an Instagram account is not necessarily a bad thing, but if you are not responsible with what you post it can be.
So with all that being said, the best thing to do in your situation is show yourself to be responsible and trustworthy. And ask your parents at the appropriate time. It may take a few times, and it may not happen as soon as you would like but in due time they should let up.
Be patient and don’t try to sneak behind their backs to do it. If you do and they find out you will be in a much worse situation.
At this point that is all you can do. When you do finally get an Instagram account be wise with what you post. You don’t want to post something that can come back to bite you later if you know what I mean! 🙂
I watch your videos and you give great advice. I was wondering if you could give me some advice right here. My boyfriend is moving away, and he is my best friend. It’s really hard to focus knowing that he’s leaving. I need some advice about what I should do, and if we should make it work or something. Then, we’ve talked about kissing. Well sort of… Our friends have talked about it, and agrees he should. But I really don’t know what to do. When should we do it, where? I really need to know what to do. I’m going Into 7th grade, and that’s pretty much the age everybody else has. So yeah if you could email me back, and please give me advice. That would mean the world for you to respond. Thanks 🙂
First of all, thanks so much for your kind words, they really mean a lot. So I know this is a very hard time for you. There’s no getting around the fact that it will be very difficult.
However, I want you to know that you can absolutely get through this. It will be hard, but you have the strength within you to overcome the pain. It will hurt, and you will miss him because he has had a significant impact on your life. Even though it may seem like your world is crashing down in time it will get better.
If you want to kiss him, then by all means kiss him. However, don’t do it because you feel pressed to meet a quota. Just because “everyone else has done it or will do it by 7th grade” that is no reason for you to do it. Here is a quote I love to live by: “Why try so hard to fit in when you were born to stand out!”
You have nothing to prove to anyone else. I want you to be happy with yourself. So, if you want to kiss him, on your own terms then great, do it, but whatever you do, don’t use this moment to meet a quota to please “everybody else”. When it comes down to it, this is your big moment. Your real experience. I didn’t have mines until I was ready and you shouldn’t either. Your first kiss should be special.
Here was my response to another viewer a while back about where to have a first kiss. It also applies here:
“The best place, is more about the best time. Where you are is not as important as how you feel.
However, any outdoor setting or couch setting would be nice. Steer clear from bedrooms though because they could lead to unwanted occurrences.
Romantic settings are of course the beach or anywhere near water. A drive in movie in the car is always cute. Holding hands in the park on a starry night is another great idea. Exotic places, near a fireplace, or even under the doorstep could also work.”
And – your last question was should you try to stay together and work it out. Here is my advice about that, ultimately you two have to make that decision. However, what I will tell you is that you are very young it long distance relationships are hard. They are not impossible, but they only work if you live close enough where you will be able to see each other at somewhat often.
They can also be very risky in the long run. You don’t have to cut ties with him, but at this point choosing to be friends who hang out from time to time may be an option you might want to consider. Unless you are in a very serious relationship I think it would be easier for you to take a break at this point. You can always revisit the relationship later. If it is meant to be it will be. I know this isn’t really the news you wanted, but just know that everything will be ok in time. I have two videos that I will leave you with.