Teen Suicide Prevention – Dating Advice- Ask Chauntel

Chauntel addresses how to prevent relationships that drive you to want to commit suicide. She answers the question of a 15 year old girl who is considering killing herself and what she needs to do to fix it! askchauntel@gmail.com

http://www.askchauntel.com

Suicide Prevention Australia: http://suicidepreventionaust.org/

Kid’s Helpline: http://www.kidshelp.com.au/
1800 55 1800

Ask Chauntel Radio Thursdays at 9:00 PCT
http://www.blogtalkradio.com/askchaun…

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Call in to speak with the host: (646) 929-1389

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Choosing a College Major: How Did You Like Psychology?

21-year-old Saleh writes:

Hi Chauntel

How are you? I hope you are doing fine. I hesitated a lot before emailing you because first I have never sought advice from someone online second I think my problems are typical and you have talked about some of them in your videos.

Im a 21 year engineering student this is my first semester and I hate it I am planning to change my major but I do not know to what. I do not know what I really like and want in life.

As far as I know you are a psychology major right? How was that was it easy? I like psychology and I had some major quizzes and personality test online and they say that I should major in psychology my personality type is INFJ

I am alson homosexual and never been in a relationship I lack confidence and self-esteem I hate myself and my life I am so miserable I want to feel love I want someone who likes me the way I am.

Screen Shot 2013-07-02 at 1.58.06 PMHi Saleh,

I am glad that you took the time to email me.

I am doing well thank you. I have been having a lot of fun responding to questions since I graduated from graduate school. It has given me the opportunity to put ideas into action.

Finding out what you like, and want in life takes time. You don’t just wake up one day and instantly know who you are. It takes time. However, you need to play an active role in the process. you should be constantly looking into new things and learning about yourself. Be patient, it will take you time to figure that out.

I assume that you watched my video I made a few years ago on choosing a college major. I therefore, will not repeat everything I said in that video. If you have not seen it, I will paste it below. The gist of it is, take classes in different areas and see what peaks your interest and where you think you could see yourself. Once you have began to narrow down areas of interest by taking classes and personality and career tests go visit a counselor in that department.

They should be able to give you more information on jobs in the field and different areas you can pursue within the field. Very soon, I will also be offering a coaching workshop for this topic.

In the meantime, let me answer the rest of your questions.

Yes, I was a psychology major. I have earned my BA and MA in psychology. Was it easy, no. LOL. Psychology is hard, but I was intrigued by it and stuck with it. To be a psychology major you have to be a good writer, researcher, and reader. You also will learn how to run statistical analysis. Most psychologist are  in the field to help people. There are so many fields of psychology that you can purse. However, if you are thinking of going into this field because you think it’s easy, go in another direction.

Don’t just choose a major because it sounds good. Do so because you actually like it and can see yourself working in the field. Otherwise you are just waisting your time and money. Also, don’t keep changing majors, try to actually figure out what you want to do, then change your major.

When it comes to counselors or advisors, sometimes they care and sometimes they don’t so know your stuff for yourself. And even after taking a career test, ensure that you agree. Don’t just major in something because the career test told you, or because your counselor said their major was the best at the college.

To respond to the last part of your question, before you go looking for someone else to love you. You need to love yourself. That is like saying you want to run before you can crawl. First of all, it is a bad idea, and second it is impossible. It will end badly. I have a video below on how to gain self confidence.

I Hope This Helps!

Chauntel

askchauntel@gmail.com

http://www.askchauntel.com

I Don’t Feel Pretty at All

Mia The Lost Girl writes:

Dear Chauntel,

I’m in a phase where I don’t think I’m pretty at all, like I’m crap even though how much I wash my face and groom myself, buy fancy clothes etc. If people ask me they said I’m fine. I don’t know why, please help. Thanks.

Image
by adamr

Hello Mia The Lost Girl,

Well one thing that you must know is the clothes don’t make the girl. It is the girl who makes the clothes. So, with that being said, no amount of make up or shopping  can replace a genuine love that you have to find within yourself.

All of the material things aside. I want you to take a moment of appreciation for life. Remember, tomorrow is not promised. You have to live each day as if it was your last. Embrace every fabric of your being and know that you were placed on this earth for a reason. God has a true purpose for your life. If it was not so, you would not be here.

Now, once you have accepted that for what it is you can begin to move forward. Stop trying to use things to make you feel better. Now they don’t say a diamond is a girls best friend for nothing. When we have pretty things we automatically feel pretty, but if that’s all you have it’s for not.

So here is what I want you to do. Strip away all of these things that you think you need to feel pretty. Stand infront of the mirror, and select something about yourself that you are proud of. Focus on that and appreciate. Then, I want you to focus on reversing this negative self talk that you have.

Stop telling yourself how much you don’like you and begin telling yourself over and over that you love you. Everyday, I want you to write down at least 2 things that make you special and unique. If you have to repeat one day that’s ok. More will come. After a months time, I want you to look in the mirror again and see how many beautiful things you like about yourself.

Continue to do this as long as you need to. You my friend are beautiful, and it doesn’t matter how much I or anyone else says it. If you don’t accept it, you will never hear it. So, it is time for you to start making changes. Make your life great. If you don’t then who will?

You are the only one who can change your destiny. Nobody ever said it was easy to be beautiful right? You can do it. I would love to hear how you are doing too!

I Hope This Helps!

Chauntel

http://www.askchauntel.com

askchauntel@gmail.com