Chauntel answers a viewer’s dating question about how he can find his magic woman in college who he could potentially marry! Listen!
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Tag: man
I’m a Big Dude…How Do I Attract a Good Woman?
25-year-old Donald from Mississippi writes:
Hi Chauntel,
I’m a big dude, and I wanted to know how to attract a good woman? I’m so tired of being alone I’m ready 4 a family. I want to be a provider.
Hi Donald,
If you are ready for a family then, it is time for you to begin to take hold of your life. Pursuing a relationship in your frame of mind is unhealthy.
Before, you begin courting a woman and looking to build a family with her, you are going to have to find confidence in yourself.
So, you need to be confident in who you are before I would recommend that you begin pursuing a relationship.
What does this mean?
Your weight is not the problem, it’s your criticalness of yourself that is going to hold you back. If you don’t like the size that you are, and it is effecting your ability to be confident in who you are, then you need to begin making wiser decisions when it comes to eating right and exercising. This doesn’t mean starve yourself, or be at the gym non-stop.
In fact, in means just the opposite. You need to make a plan for your physical health. For your life, and the life of your future family. Get with a nutritionist who can help map this out for you.
When you begin feeling comfortable with yourself, then we can begin to think about what you need to pursue a long lasting relationship, but it seems to me that you aren’t quite ready.
Going into a long term committed relationship when you are so down on yourself will not be a healthy situation for you or your future spouse. I am glad that you want to begin making positive changes in your life, that is great, but we need to prepare you for those changes.
Be encouraged, it is not all about how you look. The woman is going to eventually look past that once she begins to see who you are. But in this case, you don’t feel comfortable with yourself, and I am not ready to advise you into a relationship until that changes.
Feel free to take advantage of my free 15-minute-coaching session by using the coaching coupon.
When we get you mentally ready for a relationship after first establishing a love for yourself then we address the second part of your question. You dig?
Be Blessed
Chauntel
email questions to askchauntel@gmail.com
Domestic Violence and I have 2 Kids
32-year-old Lesley writes:
Dear Chauntel,
I have 2 children their father passed away. I started dating 2 years ago a year back he started telling what to do, where to go where i can not go. And when i did not listen to his commands, he started beating and i kept quiet and he will tell me the next day that he did not mean to hurt me.
But now it is happening each and every week that i cannot attend church services coz im seeing other men.
Please help what do I do? I cant sleep at night i wish that i could be around people all the time. My self esteem is so down. I feel useless.
Dear Lesley,
It is difficult when you loose someone you love. Sometimes relationships like the one that you are in come into your life and become unbearable. I understand that you are in love with this man by the simple fact that you are still with him.
If not for your own life, you have been blessed with the gift of children, and for this reason you have to get out of this situation. This man does not mean any good to you. And it’s horrible to put your children through this. They do not need to see their mother being abused. It will tear them up inside.
I understand that you are in a controlling, abusive, and extremely dangerous situation. If he is controlling you to the point where you cannot even go to church you are going to have to get out soon. Make an excuse to leave the house and take the kids with you. Even if it is just the grocery store. Don’t take anything. That is not important. Take what is absolutely necessary and get out. There are women’s shelters that you can go to that will provide you with everything you need to start over.
This is a very unfortunate situation, and I will be praying for you. You need to seek help and support. Don’t try to do this alone. You may even consider reporting this to the police as soon as possible.
If you don’t get out of this situation your children will suffer. I am not sure of local agencies where you are, but if you visit http://www.domesticviolence.org they should be able to direct you to the services that you need.
Be Blessed and thanks for writing.
Chauntel
email questions to askchauntel@gmail.com
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