In this relationship advice column video for women, I answer the question of a wife who says that her husband cheated on her, but she stayed. How should she handle this infidelity?
Leslie writes about NSSI, Non Suicidal Self Injury:
Hi Chauntel,
I hear you can help girls like me like to stop cutting. Well, my problem is that I am cutting cuz my friend raped me.
Hi Leslie,
Wow, I am so very, very sorry to hear that. I cannot imagine how you feel. I do however, want you to share this with someone that you know and trust, so that you can receive the help and support that you need.
Sometimes, we hurt ourselves to try to ease the pain that others have caused us. What you will learn is that hurting yourself will not ease the pain that you feel from that terrible experience.
I want you to know that God loves you more than you can imagine, and what happened to you is not your fault. You need to report whoever did this to you, for you and for anyone else who might be hurt by this person in the future.
I also, want you to seek some professional help to deal with overcoming the pain that this experience is causing in your life.
To get you started, I want to tell you that turning to self injury is not the answer. It will not take back what happened to you.
What I want you to do is take the power back in your life. Replace this negative behavior with a positive one. This way, you overcome this situation instead of beating yourself up about it.
You need to find out what is triggering you; what is causing you to want to harm yourself. It probably has a lot to deal with not dealing with your feelings.
Turn away from cutting yourself and turn your action into loving yourself and finding that love for yourself again. Do not let this person lead your life. Allow God to lead it for God is love.
You are the only one who can make the change in your life. You cannot erase what happened to you, but you have the power to choose how you will overcome it. I believe in you, and I know that you are greater than this situation. Thank you for being the voice of so many other girls like you. You have great courage, but you were not meant to overcome this alone.
Please, get support and prayer for what you are going through. My community is praying with and for you. I will provide some resources below.
May God bless you, and please know that you are not alone. There are unfortunately others who have been raped and abused, and they have overcome it. You can too. Here is a story of a girl you may relate to. Her story is different, but her coping of cutting herself is the same:
Thanks so much for writing me, it means the world to me.
In this relationship advice q&a I answer the question should she block her boyfriend on Facebook after she pretended to cheat on him. Hi, I am Chauntel a Relationship Coach and Advice Columnist. Welcome to the advice column! Give your advice and ask a question.
In this relationship advice q&a I answer the question should she block her boyfriend on Facebook after she pretended to cheat on him. Hi, I am Chauntel a Relationship Coach and Advice Columnist. Welcome to the advice column! Give your advice and ask a question.
If you have a mother in law who is causing problems and is too involved in your sex life and your future marriage then this is the video for you to watch!
This is a relationship advice q&a, from advice columnist, Ask Chauntel. How to talk to this mamas boy! Please help this Bride to Be tackle the challenge of being caught between the momma’s boy and the mama! Give your advice to this future bride! What should she do? I had so much fun with this relationship advice Q & A! Husband drama is no fun, but let’s rectify it today! We are all about having Christ Centered relationships on the advice column. I share relationship advice on Christian Relationships with Biblical support from 1 Corinthians.
Give Advice:
Don’t forget to give your advice on Bride To Be’s relationship question below. This is a “Q and A” style response.
✍️ GIVE YOUR ADVICE: Click into the field under “Leave a Reply” to give your advice or perspective! (Don’t have a WordPress login? Take 60 seconds to sign- up here. )
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Get free advice and support! Join Savvy Social Jewels, my Christian woman and mompreneur community and receive weekly advice, information, and support from Chauntel and other Jewels! You will also get the bi-monthly newsletter.
I wanted to share my response to Ask E. Jean Caroll’s advice column from Elle magazine. Here is the question:
Dear E. Jean: I’m a 25-year-old marine biologist researching dolphins in Southern California. This past year, I met a man and have fallen very deeply in love. (I didn’t think I was capable of it!) He’s extremely kind, generous, considerate, passionate, thoughtful, attractive, outdoorsy, and adventurous. But he is soon moving to Colorado to pursue his career in the Rocky Mountains. I’m happy that he will be doing what he loves, Miss Eeee, but I’m so sad to lose him! He feels the same about me. I’m not interested in a long-distance relationship—it seems irrational to commit to someone when we have no future plans to live in the same area. I’m so frustrated by it all! He wants to be in the mountains, and my life is by the sea. What are we to do? —Sidetracked in SoCal
Ask Chauntel Response:
Dear Sidetrack in SoCal,
What an exciting career that you have! Now, let me tell you love will make you do crazy things 🙂
If you are ready to be serious with him forget about your long distance limit, and try dating him while he is in the mountains. It will give you both time to see if you are ready for the next step, marriage. Once he is gone for a bit, you will know if you cannot see life without him. That way you will be confident in your decision on if he is the right one to make this huge change for and leave with no regrets. If you rush it before you are absolutely sure, then you might build resentment overtime.
So test out the process, brainstorm alternative careers in the mountains, visit him there and imagine if you can see yourself on the mountain peak away from sea. Then you will know if it is right. Love is worth a chance!
If you will be heartbroken from being separated from the thing you love most, then it would mean he is not the one. At least, you will know that love is possible for you!
If you think you can leave the sea for the mountain peak then my sister I tell you can find other creative ways to use your scientific knowledge out there, and hey if you are in SoCal the beach isn’t too far from the mountains so maybe you buy a home in both places and visit between together! What a fun life you will have!
There are ways to make love and career work together splendidly, the question is, is he the one worth the trouble? If the answer is yes then be flexible, and run away with the prince to find life as a forester fun and exciting. Who knows what adventures await!
✍️ GIVE YOUR ADVICE: Click into the field under “Leave a Reply” to give your advice or perspective! (Don’t have a WordPress login? Take 60 seconds to sign- up here. )
💰GIVE MONETARILY: DONATE $5 -$10 ONCE/MONTHLY THROUGH PAYPAL
😄 (You all keep the posts coming! )
💎 BECOME A JEWEL!
Get free advice and support! Join Savvy Social Jewels, my Christian woman and mompreneur community and receive weekly advice, information, and support from Chauntel and other Jewels! You will also get the bi-monthly newsletter.
In this Relationship Advice question and answer on the Ask Chauntel Podcast we talk to a Christian Wife who wants to know how to be sexy yet modest with an emotionally distant husband.
If you are attempting to be a better wife to an emotionally distant husband apply these concepts to your life. You can help yourself through the challenges of marriage by addressing the needs of your husband. It is so important that when you are in a marriage you pay attention to the needs of your husband along with your own needs. I would love it if you gave your advice to this relationship advice column question.
Don’t forget to give your advice on Talia’s relationship question below. This is a “Q and A” style advice video. We are all about having Christ Centered relationships on the advice column. I share relationship advice on Christian Relationships with Biblical support from 1 Corinthians.
If you need help on how to forgive your husband and building a better marriage, watch! Overcome divorce with faith.
✍️ GIVE YOUR ADVICE: Click into the field under “Leave a Reply” to give your advice or perspective! (Don’t have a WordPress login? Take 60 seconds to sign- up here. )
💰GIVE MONETARILY: DONATE $5 -$10 ONCE/MONTHLY THROUGH PAYPAL
😄 (You all keep the posts coming! )
💎 BECOME A JEWEL!
Get free advice and support! Join Savvy Social Jewels, my Christian woman and mompreneur community and receive weekly advice, information, and support from Chauntel and other Jewels! You will also get the bi-monthly newsletter.
In this video, I share my advice to an Ask E Jean advice column reader who wants to know what to do after a breakup. She is heartbroken. If you are looking for an advice columnist who teaches self love and can help you with break up tips watch this! To let go of an ex is so difficult when you want to get over heartbreak. There is a proper way to end a relationship and there are relationship goals that you can make for yourself during and after this process. I hope you enjoy my advice on what she should do after the break up, keep these break up tips in mind for your own relationships! Don’t forget to give your advice on Heartbroken’s relationship question below. This is a “Q and A” style advice video. We are all about having Christ Centered relationships on the advice column.
I wanted to share my response to Ask E. Jean Caroll’s advice column. Here is the question:
Dear E. Jean: I have a wonderful two-year-old who is the absolute light of my life, and a husband I adore. I love being a mom and desperately wish to expand our family. However, I have suffered three miscarriages in the past 10 months (despite testing and treatment for a blood-clotting disorder linked to miscarriage), in addition to losing my father. At the moment, I am hurting too much from all this loss and need to take a break from trying for another child, and I’m also recognizing that it may not be in Mother Nature’s cards for us to have another. (It took almost two years to conceive my daughter, so fertility has never come naturally for me.)
The problem is, nearly all my friends are pregnant right now and I’m finding it incredibly hard to be around them. Watching their bodies change is a constant reminder of where I should have been had any of my pregnancies lasted. I don’t want to cut myself off socially, especially in a time of such grief, but I find it very painful to see such abundant fertility around me. What can I do, short of finding an entirely new group of friends? —Heartbroken
Ask Chauntel Response:
Dear Heartbroken,
Big Picture Idea: Wow, how how much loss you have experienced in such a short amount of time. I cannot even imagine losing a baby at 10 months. What joy you must of had in your heart for this little one to loose them so quickly. I too had a miscarriage, but mines was at 6 weeks. That feeling of pain when you loose your unborn child is nothing that can be described in words.
I also cannot imagine the pain that you must have felt with that experience toppled with the loss of your father. You are a strong woman, and you will overcome this. Take it one day at a time and reflect on the great memories you have with your father. Be comforted that this life is only temporary, and you can see him again. In this season of your life, much prayer and ceasing after God that is going to help you overcome the daily weight that you carry on your shoulders.
Practical Application: To answer your question specifically, no you absolutely do not get a set of new friends. Instead, you call on the Holy Spirit, your comforter, and ask him to make you whole again. If you need to take some time away from your friends that is understandable, but do not take too much time because we need each other for love and strength. Pain becomes even more painful alone.
All you need to do is give yourself time, time to mourn, and time to feel. Whatever you do, do not bottle this pain up inside. Find away to express yourself. Know that your two-year-old daughter is full of life and needs you so much. She will give you the strength to get through it. Not only that, when the time is right God will bless you with another baby for her to play with.
Don’t rush anything take this in stride, and know that to everything there is a season. You will slowly overcome your pain enough to be around those friends again. What God has for you, it is for you so you do not have to envy your friends, even with slow inferility you have so many blessings in your life. Be content with what he has given you and you will receive all the more.
I Hope This helps!
If you would like to read E Jean’s response click here.
Here is the story on my miscarriage:
Get Involved!
Hey Jewels please leave your advice and comments below on Hearbroken’s question.
Ask Chauntel 