Hello Beautiful People,
I just wanted to leave you with a word of encouragement.
When you make the decision that you are ready to look for a mate, always be sure that you put yourself in the equation.
Don’t choose someone just to feel a void. Choose a person that compliments you. In fact, choose a person that completes you! And by the way…be bold and confident while you do it 🙂
I Hope This Helps!
Chauntel
email questions to askchauntel@gmail.com
24-year-old Ebony writes:
I recently ran into an old friend from High School, we exchanged numbers and I text him like a week later. He expressed to me how he always like me but I was only into school, that I was his high school sweetheart. I had no idea he felt this way about me and it sent me into shock.
He asked me out the next day and my response was “um.” Honestly I was still taking in everything he expressed to me the day before and how much love he had. He asked me if it was too soon and indecisively I responded “yeeeeea.”
a few days later after I processed his feelings and I processed my own, I expressed to him how I wish I would of said yes the first time, that I wanted to be with him and I knew he’d be good for me.
this is the exact text he responded with:
“truth is ‘im not ready for a relationship and can be friends. my job takes so much time and plus i’m gonna start school ebony and its not that i’m trying to avoid you its that I get no time for me AND its frustrating!! so i’m sorry ok”
my heart broke and I couldn’t understand what was happening and what I should do. He’s everything I’ve ever wanted , if I go down the list he’s the PERFECT guy for me (yes I said perfect)
I don’t want to loose him … what do I do now?
Hi Ebony!
Look at this as a blessing in disguise. He obviously doesn’t know what he wants, and you my friend can do nothing with a guy who doesn’t know what he wants. You dig?
So, don’t sweat it. If he doesn’t want a relationship then he doesn’t. At least he is being honest with you. He could have gotten with you, then cheated on you.
Cut your losses, there is a guy out there for you. He is wishy washy it seems. Don’t get your heart wrapped up in this. If and when he is ready, he will let you know. Until then, don’t fret just be cool, and see what happens. Stop putting so much pressure on this and just try to have fun. Ok?
I Hope This Helps!
Chauntel
email questions to askchauntel@gmail.com
B writes:I think the real kicker was a talk we had a month ago. We have different time frames when we want to marry each other (at least we want to marry each other lol). I think in 3 years is appropriate and he thinks in about 7-9++ who  His logic? He wants to grow up more, go to school, make more money. I respect that, BUT I see no initiative! I’ve gone with him to look at schools, for example, and he like…doesn’t follow through. So he says he wants to become a better person before he gets married, and I appreciate that…but I don’t see him doing anything about it. It’s like all talk.
Hello B!13-year-old Antoine writes:
Hey Chauntel,
Theres this women i like. I’m only 13, and she is like 21 and married. Would it matter if i tell her or should i just keep it balled up inside and never tell anybody?
Hi Antoine,
It’s perfectly normal for you to have a crush, but telling her how you feel would be inappropriate. Sometimes we have to control our inner thoughts. It is during these times that we keep our thoughts to ourselves.
The first issue that we have here is age. She is much too old for you. In fact, she could legally go to jail if she had any dealings with you. Second she is married, and you should never pursue a married woman. It is not honorable.
There will be plenty of wonderful women in your life. So, you are going to have to let this one go. Instead of thinking of it as keeping it bottled up inside, think of it as letting go of your impossible desires.
This is one you are going to have to walk away from. If you really feel like you need to share it. Talk to a close friend who you can trust, or find an artistic expression. You could write a poem or paint something. You can even write  a song. Just don’t attach her name to any of it.
I Hope This Helps!
Chauntel
email questions to askchauntel@gmail.com
Hey Guys!
Did you know that I have a Free Weekly AC Newsletter just for you that comes out every Friday.
It includes a poll, the radio show topic for the proceeding week, as well as all of the video and blog posts from that week!
Become apart of our community, by subscribing to the free weekly newsletter! I am excited to have you on board!
Love Always,
Chauntel
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14-year-old Nick writes:
Hey Chauntel, I just watched your video on how to approach a girl and stuff like that…. But my situation is a little bit tougher.. I’m 14, I just started high school this year and I noticed this girl kind of right off the bat as soon as I saw her she immediately drew my attention but I cannot get enough courage to talk to her everytime I try I get all nervous start to blush I get butterflies my mind goes all crazy so I back out and just not talk to her. I’ve never talked to this girl before bc of that reason and it’s almost the end of the school year and I’ve never said a word to her. What’s your advice on how to approach her for the first time without making me look like a fool and I can give her a good first impression on how I am?? And I guess I’m kind of pessimistic about this situation bc I doubt my chances of ever being able to date her when the time presents itself and I always think I’m not good enough and my looks aren’t good enough and I don’t wanna wait too long bc she could get swept up by another guy and I don’t want that /: so please if you could answer back with some advice on this situation ASAP it would help me soooo much (: hope to hear back soon!
Hi Nick,
Have you heard of the Law of Attraction? The gist of it is, if you think negatively you will attract negativity. So, if you keep thinking that you have a small chance to attract her, guess what you do.
So what I need you to do is stop thinking of yourself as never getting a chance with her, but start believing that she would be happy to have you.
If you step to a girl without confidence she is not going to take you seriously, and she will not be attracted to you. Also, this is not about putting on a show. All you have to do is be yourself.
As far as your looks go, although I am not sure how you look I want you to know in most cases it really doesn’t matter. I mean face it. Haven’t you seen plenty of beautiful girls with not so hot guys. Do you know why? It is because those girls are attracted to those guys based on that guys confidence. This is not to say that you are not attractive ok.
So moving on. What you need is a game plan. I don’t mean that you need to memorize how the conversation is going to go word for word. If you do that and it doesn’t go the way you planned you will choke.
Here is how you approach her: Walk up to her and say hello. Introduce yourself. Let her introduce herself. Then, give her a compliment. Then have small talk. It could be about anything.
Then create a sense of urgency. Make up an excuse as to why you have to go, or simply tell her that you have enjoyed talking to her, and you would like to get to know her better. This is the time that you ask her for her number. Then you tell her you will talk to her later, and off you go. Whatever you do, stop this negative self talk and believe in yourself. You will be glad you did.
Now, once you have done that you have approached her, and you have left a good thought in her mind of you. Need some help with the next conversation? I have a video for that:
I Hope This Helps!
Chauntel
19-year-old CJ writes:
Hi there Chauntel!
I just wanted to ask you about my situation. Well here’s the situation. This girl that works at the same place I work at (Walmart) is whom I really like. Shes black. Now I’m Filipino and shes Jamaican. Just saying lol
Someone in my department had told her that I like her and I heard that she smiled about it. So what does that mean? Is that a sign that she likes me as well? Or just so that shes flattered and plus she’s 22 and I’m 19 turning 20.
Hi CJ,
Well, a smile is universal for happy. Beyond that, there is not much else we can know for sure.
What I recommend is you approach her, and ask her out for ice cream. See if she is interested. Schedule the time a little after lunch, but before dinner. If Ice cream goes well you can take a walk in the park right after, or schedule time to meet up again. The next meet up time will be for a more formal date like dinner, and an activity like: bowling, miniature golf, hiking, or something else that is interactive and will give you all the opportunity to talk. Save the movie for the second or third date, you cannot talk much at a movie.
I Hope This Helps!
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