My Boyfriend is a Drug Addict

Alek writes:

Hi Chauntel,

I saw your video on youtube about “letting go of ex”,so I would like you to give me advice about a problem I have.

I Iove one guy which goes with me on same college,we are friends,more then friends,he was my first.
The problem is that I really do love him,am not only in love,it’s more than that.
Am always there for him,I care,I wanna help him,I met his father and sister,I was in his house etc…but the problem is that he is ex drug addict,and his kinda strange…he talks about 3D dimensions,and this kind of stuff,like after death…and his mind is all the time in it.I do and try to understand him,cuz am open minded person usually…but he started it again – using drugs…(marihuana,mushrooms..) and he druged me once without me accepting it.
After I knew it,I became very angry and hurt,and I yelled…and then he said like “you know that I care,I love you”,come on,what is this please ??? how can you love someone and try to destroy them to be like you are ?! He says to me you deserve better person that I am…he doesn’t have friends,at least not real ones,he runs away from emotions,he is negative…but again there is other side of him,and this confuses me.
Lately we didn’t talk or met, 2 weeks or more,and I don’t wanna send messages or anything because am hurted deeply but again I miss him,and I don’t know what to do anymore.My friends keep telling me that he is jerk,that he doesn’t know what he has in front of him,and that he doesn’t deserve me…I know that they care,and to them this is easy to say…but why do I feel guilty then,and I don’t even know for what.
What should I do dear Chauntel ? cuz everything is mixed up and complicated.Sometimes I think that it is the best if I let go of him and everything…and just leave him.
Hello Alek,
Yes, considering that he is a druggy and has forced drugs on you, I would say it is time to walk away. You are right in each of your assumptions.
If he really “loved” you he wouldn’t involve you in this. This is pretty simple, this guy is bad news.
You may have serious feelings for him, but you have to love yourself more than you love him and let this one go.
Be encouraged, everything will be ok. You are making the right decision in walking away.
I Hope This Helps!
Chauntel
email questions to askchauntel@gmail.com
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I Stammer When I Talk to Girls

14-year-old Shrey from Kenya writes:

Hi Chauntel,

Well, I’m a very shy guy when it comes to talking to girls face to face and sometimes stammer when talking to girls who I like. Can u please help me and tell me what should I do?

Hi Shrey:

I answered your question around 9:55 in this weeks radio show:

I answered your question in my radio broadcast yesterday around 9:55 on the timecode:

Do Intelligent Girls Finish Last: Ask Chauntel Radio

19-year-old Jordan from Illinios writes,

Hi Chauntel,

I’m not ashamed of it or anything, but I’ve never been kissed. I’ve dated, but we kissed(it wasn’t meaningful, if you know what I mean) so I don’t consider it a kiss, they were more like pecks. I have everything going for me right now. I just finished my 1st year of college a couple of months ago, my grades are really god, and I have an abundance of people who care/love me (boys and girls) I’ve dated two guys, but I’ve never been in a serious relationship. I do believe that good things come to those who wait, and that God knows what’s best for me as well. I always used to get the guys who would crush on me, but would tell me right before we would graduate, and I probably will never see them again. Sometimes, I wonder if it’s me/is it guys. I’m a pretty outgoing person, and I/others believe that I’m a beautiful young woman. I’m not saying that I want to be in a relationship right now, but do you think that it’s a guy think as to why guys don’t ask me out/is it me?

Hi Jordan,

I answered your question at the beginning of my radio show yesterday:

I Hope This Helps!

Email questions to askchauntel@gmail.com

I’m Scared to Tell Him That I Like Him

7th Grade Allie from Kansas writes:

Dear Chauntel,

The teacher calls us love birds in gym class. We have a friendship, but now should I do? I am scared to ask him out. What should I do?

Hi Allie,

Nothing good comes easy. Love is worth the risk so, you have to get past the fear and let him know that you are interested.

Tell him that you appreciate his friendship, but that you are interested in getting to know him better. See if he is also interested in getting to know you better. If he says yes, then great go get yo’ man. If he says no, then it’s ok you can still be friends.

I Hope This Helps!

Chauntel

email questions to askchauntel@gmail.com

How to Set-up a Blog

Michael writes:

Hi Chauntel,

I saw ur YouTube video about shy guys approaching women….as someone living with I will give u first hand analysis in how bad this situation really is..also I’d like to kno how to set up a blog page from u.

Hi Michael,

Setting up a blog page is simple. You will need to first set-up an email address! If you already have one you can utilize the one you have.

Then, you will have to choose a blogging platform that suits your needs. There are tons of blogging platforms out there. Depending on what your area of interest is, you will choose the platform that suits your needs best.

Instagram is great if you enjoy taking pictures and want to focus your blog on photos and having followers. It is quick blogging. People who use this app normally follow you if you make it personal.

Pintrest is another great bloggin platform for photos. It is also an awesome networking tool because it allows you to connect with people who have similar interests.

Twitter could be considered really fast blogging concerns news, moods, and thoughts.

Blogger is owned by Google and it is very easy to add ads to your post and onto you blog. It is also very user-friendly. However, some consider it for amateurs. I like it though. I have a blog there that I update about once a week if not more. http://www.askchauntel.blogspot.com. It connects directly to your Google Plus accounts. I like that they give you an opportunity to customize your design and template of your blog pretty holistically at no extra charge. It is also helpful because your page is  likely to come up in google search results as this platform is owned by google. You can personalize your navigation and side panels. It also provides you with stats and gives information on where readers where referred from. However, it is more difficult for blogger collaboration.

Tumblr is another blogging platform that is utilized a lot. I haven’t used this one, but I hear it is great for posting photos, and I people can also ask questions right on you page from what my sister tells me.

WordPress is the blogging platform that you are reading from right now. It is used by most professional bloggers. They do not allow you to put google ads on your blog for advertisement, but they do have a lot of options for designs and templates. However, if you want to personalize the design of your page, fonts, and colors you sometimes have to pay a bit extra. For the most part it is free, easy to manage and looks professional. They also keep your stats for you, and let you know how readers were referred to your blog. You are given the opportunity to link your WordPress blog to you Twitter, Facebook, Youtube, and Linkedin. It is not as user friendly as Blogger, but if you stick with it you will learn how it works. There are discussion boards on WordPress as well as a Reader. These tools make it much easier to find new blogs and collaborate with them. This is a good blogging platform to get your feet wet.

All of these blogs that I have mentioned are free. However, if you would like to personalize your domain name you will have to pay for it. It makes it more professional. For example instead of my website url being http://www.askchauntel.wordpress.com, for $18, I made it http://www.askchauntel.com.

I would also like to mention BlogLovin’ to you. It is a platform that allows people to follow blogs that are hosted on different sites. Good luck on your selection process. Share it when you have one! I would love to see it!

Best!

Chauntel

http://www.askchauntel.com

askchauntel@gmail.com

Things Your Girlfriend Thinks But Doesn’t Say – Chauntel Fun Fridays!

Girls are complicated. They always say one thing that really translate to mean something entirely different. Watch Chauntel give a few reasonable translations.

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What to Do When He Owes Child Support – Relationship Advice – Ask Chauntel

What actions should you take when your Ex stops paying child or spousal support? Can you take legal action against him? Watch! http://www.askchauntel.com, askchauntel@gmail.com

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5 Simple Ways to Make Your Husband Smile….at YOU! – Marriage Mondays

Hey Ladies,

If you’d rather keep him smiling instead of frowning and fightin’, you might want to consider these tips.

Image
by photostock

1. Take Time to Listen: As women, we sometimes get so caught up in ourselves that we sometimes forget to take a moment to listen to what our mate is saying. He may not repeat it a million times like we do, but if he said it then he must have meant it. So consider his feelings and make sure that he understands that they matter.

2. Make Him Feel Loved: Amidst the hustle and bustle of the day, we can forget the little things that he sometimes requests. Try to find 3 of those things that you can add to your week. Trust me he will notice. 

3. Be Attentive: When he talks about his hobbies that you don’t care too much about actually pay attention, and give a comment that isn’t snarky. Take the time to enjoy the conversation and even add to it. He mostly just wants to share with you, but he would love it if you actually cared about it.

4. Encourage Him: Men always want a woman who can add light to their life. If he mentions a new idea, or even an old one. Smile and if it’s not something that’s going to harm him in anyway encourage him and support his decisions.

5. Cook For Him: Ahhhh, you knew this was coming. Whether or not a man can cook, he always loves it when his lady does it for him. If you don’t know how learn.

If you do this right you will keep him around for a long time. ‘Cause guess what? It’s nice to be nice. 🙂 

Email questions to askchauntel@gmail.com

Domestic Violence and I have 2 Kids

32-year-old Lesley writes:

Dear Chauntel,

I have 2 children their father passed away. I started dating 2 years ago a year back he started telling what to do, where to go where i can not go. And when i did not listen to his commands, he started beating and i kept quiet and he will tell me the next day that he did not mean to hurt me.

But now it is happening each and every week that i cannot attend church services coz im seeing other men.

Please help what do I do? I cant sleep at night  i wish that i could be around people all the time. My self esteem is so down. I feel useless.

by ambro domestic violenceDear Lesley,

It is difficult when you loose someone you love. Sometimes relationships like the one that you are in come into your life and become unbearable. I understand that you are in love with this man by the simple fact that you are still with him.

If not for your own life, you have been blessed with the gift of children, and for this reason you have to get out of this situation. This man does not mean any good to you. And it’s horrible to put your children through this. They do not need to see their mother being abused. It will tear them up inside.

I understand that you are in a controlling, abusive, and extremely dangerous situation. If he is controlling you to the point where you cannot even go to church you are going to have to get out soon. Make an excuse to leave the house and take the kids with you. Even if it is just the grocery store. Don’t take anything. That is not important. Take what is absolutely necessary and get out. There are women’s shelters that you can go to that will provide you with everything you need to start over.

This is a very unfortunate situation, and I will be praying for you. You need to seek help and support. Don’t try to do this alone. You may even consider reporting this to the police as soon as possible.

If you don’t get out of this situation your children will suffer. I am not sure of local agencies where you are, but if you visit http://www.domesticviolence.org they should be able to direct you to the services that you need.

Be Blessed and thanks for writing.

Chauntel

email questions to askchauntel@gmail.com

http://www.askchauntel.com

Do Nice Guys Finish Last? – Weekly Poll and Radio Topic

New Poll Every Friday! Vote!