Adding to the tradition of expanding my blog topics. I will be writing love and life advice to celebrities on Tuesdays. Feel free to apply this advice to your life, love and relationships! BTW this was my husbands idea, and I have to hand it to him, he is awesome! Shout out to DavD Beats!
Here was my first post in this category that I wrote to Kim and Kanye when they were married. The title of this post was: Advice to Kim Kardashian & Kayne West on How to Survive Year 1 of Marriage, CLICK TO READ
So here it goes!
Two beautiful and talented people tied the not last month, actress Gabrielle Union, 41, and Miami Heat player Dwyane Wade, 32. They celebrated their nuptials in Miami, Florida. It was a family affair which they shared with Dwyane’s adorable boys.
When you first get married there is a transition period where you get to know the good, the bad, and the ugly. There are expectations and realities that are not present in a dating relationship that you begin to learn and witness once you get married. The first year of marriage can be considered difficult because it is a transition period. Both parties are learning their new roles, while simultaneously still attempting to keep a sense of self.
This becomes even more difficult when children are added to the equation because not only are you dealing with the transition into becoming a husband or a wife, but you also have to make a transition to be mommy and daddy. Doing this simultaneously can prove to be difficult. It forces you to take on twice as many responsibilities, and it can put a strain on your relationship. Therefore, it is essential that you handle it with care and stay flexible!
Having children in your life is a true blessing from God! As much of a blessing as they are, it takes hard work to be a parent. If you choose to marry into a family with children, you not only marry your spouse but you also marry their children. You should be prepared to be a parent and treat them fairly. You have to become self-less and learn that you have to show them love. You must also realize that this is going to be a slow growing process. There will be times where you will get along and other times where you will not see eye-to-eye. However, you must note that this is a full time job that you cannot choose to quit. You have to hang in there and build up the relationship.
If you are the spouse who is bringing the children into the new marriage, choose wisely. You should never choose to marry anyone who does not love and respect your children. If you do you will regret it and the marriage will be sour.
When considering time together with your spouse you must know that their time will be split between you and their children, and you should be happy with the fact that they love and want to take care of their children. If they don’t take care of their children what makes you think that they will take care of you?
With this in mind it is also important that both spouses set time aside for just the two of you. It is important that you have that bonding time, especially when you first get married. You must consider time with both your spouse and their children, who will now be called YOUR children. Many marriages struggle as a result of a difference of opinions on how to spend money and how to raise children.
As a result having children can add stress to a relationship, so it is absolutely essential that the bride and groom discuss their expectations long before the choose to get married. This way there are not any huge surprises, and with God’s help the rest can be communicated through! Always keep him at the center of your relationship, and the head of your children’s lives, and everything will work out just fine! In fact, you will find yourself to be a happy and healthy family!
Congrats to Gabrielle and Dwayne and all of you other newly married couples with children! We are rooting for ya!
I Hope This Helps!
Chauntel
email questions to askchauntel@gmail.com
Also, don’t let the small hick-ups go unresolved. Communicate through every bump in the rode. If you allow bad feelings to grow you will eventually grow resentment towards your spouse. It is essential that you share your feelings often. Also, be sure that you spend quality time together. Time with your spouse needs to be included in your schedule just like everything else. Relationships take work and they occupy your time.
Ask Chauntel 