How to Be a Good Wife – Christian Marriage – Happy Marriage

In this video I share my relationship tips on being a good wife. There are some specific things to consider when trying to build a happy marriage. I am Christian, and I therefore have Christian values. These tips will help you build a Healthy Christian Marriage.

Email me questions to askchauntel@gmail.com
Vote in the Poll: https://askchauntel.com/2017/03/28/poll-vote-are-you-married/

 

Interracial Dating: How to Approach Black Women

Daniel writes:

Hey Chauntel,

I’m nervous about talking to black girls any suggestions?

Hi Daniel,

Screen Shot 2016-04-11 at 2.48.16 PM
“Cookie” from the show “Empire”

So there is this massive media portrayal of black women being, for lack of a better word, “difficult” to approach or get a long with in a relationship. This is really a huge misconception.

I believe in many ways we are being misrepresented. We maybe bold, and we may seem intimidating at first, for whatever the reason, but we are truly very light hearted. When we love we love hard. We treat our men like kings.

More and more black women are reaching outside of their race.

Bellow are some celebrity couples that you may be familiar with. For purposes of this post, we won’t get into the specifics of their relationships.However, for your knowledge some are currently: married, divorced, broken-up, dating. You get the picture! Either way they have been coupled up at one time or another! Take the poll below to vote on your favorite!

 

To answer your question specifically, approach with confidence. If you don’t have it, “fake it til’ you make it!” There isn’t anything spectacularly different about approaching a black women than approaching any other women!  Just be yourself, and be confident in what you have to offer.

With all that being said, make sure that you have something to offer. Which might mean, scaling back to work on building yourself up before approaching a woman.

Oh, and here is a recent video that I produced:

Titled: Do Black Women Like White Men?

I Hope This Helps!

Chauntel

email questions to: askchauntel@gmail.com

Which was your favorite black woman and white man celebrity couple? Take the poll! Give comments and advice:

 

How to Have Succesful Marriage – Ask Chauntel

I’m back and ready to share some useful tips for you!

First French Kiss Advice

Anna writes:

Hi Chauntel,

I have a boyfriend, and we have already kissed.  But now i think we will French Kiss. I really want to but don’t know how. I am really nervous and scared.

Please write me back if you can.
Big fan of yours. Love Anna
Hi Anna,
Thanks so much for your question. You made a very important statement, that you really want to. I want to make sure that, that is absolutely true because you should not be forced or encouraged into doing anything that makes you feel uncomfortable.
Screen Shot 2014-11-07 at 10.58.53 AMNow, I am not a kissing expert, haha. However, what I can tell you is that this is something that you learn in the moment. Just follow his lead, go with the flow. You will quickly learn.
Most importantly take it slow. There is nothing attractive about a forceful tongue, when force is not wanted or needed. So, don’t rush it just let it happen slowly. You will get the hang of it.
Remember, to protect yourself. His hands should stay around your waist, not above or below. If he tries any funny business. Politely move his hands back to where they should be. He will get the message. If not, there is something wrong with that picture.
Thanks for your support!
I Hope This Helps!
Chauntel
email questions to askchauntel@gmail.com Tweet/Insta @askchauntel

Help My Husband Is Addicted to Drugs

Lily Ann writes:

Dear Chauntel,

I d0n’t kn0w what do. I need advice. My husband is a drug abuser, and our relationship is not working. However, I love him and so do our children.

We have tried to come to an agreement, but it is useless. How long will I wait for him to be a good man and not always lie? I want to leave him, but its really hurtful. I don’t want to regret anything. I feel like it would be ruining my own family. I am also dealing with verbal abuse from him.

Please help me Chauntel!

Hi Lily Ann,

You are in a very difficult situation, and I am sorry that you have to endure such pain. However, I applaud you for admitting that this is a challenge in your lifScreen Shot 2014-10-30 at 1.20.16 PMe and seeking for a way to face it.

It is essential that your husband receives professional help. However, he has to be ready and willing to seek out this help. Neither you nor anyone else can make him change, it has to be a conscious decision that he wants to make in his life.

It reminds me of the metaphor, you can bring a horse to water, but you cannot make him drink.

So here is my advice to you, seek some spiritual counseling for yourself and for your children. If you are not involved in a church I think now is a great time to introduce yourself and your children to the comfort and support that God brings.

Then, I want you to utilize the resources around you to get your husband the help that he needs and deserves. If he is willing to receive help great, you guys can work towards a positive future. If you are not able to find resources around you. I have a list of Crisis Help Resources here on my website that should be of use to you. Here is the link.

In addition, if he is causing harm to you and your children and is not in the mindset to receive help or make a change you will have to part ways with him. I know that this is a very difficult situation to be in, and no wife wants to leave her husband. However, you have to consider you and your children’s safety and well being.

I hope that he is willing to receive help to break this bad habit and find spiritual peace within himself as well, but it is truly his decision to make.

You can bring him to the water of life, but he has to choose to follow you and take the steps necessary to try to make a better life for you and your children.

If he does not, he will leave you with no choice but to part ways.

I will be praying for you and your family. I hope it works out, and I wish you all the best!

Peace and Love!

Chauntel

email questions to askchauntel@gmail.com send questions to Insta/Twitter @askchauntel

Advice to Gabrielle Union – How to Marry a Man with Children – Celebrity Tuesdays

Screen Shot 2014-09-16 at 9.41.26 AMAdding to the tradition of expanding my blog topics. I will be writing love and life advice to celebrities on Tuesdays. Feel free to apply this advice to your life, love and relationships! BTW this was my husbands idea, and I have to hand it to him, he is awesome! Shout out to DavD Beats!

Here was my first post  in this category that I wrote to Kim and Kanye when they were married. The title of this post was: Advice to Kim Kardashian & Kayne West on How to Survive Year 1 of Marriage, CLICK TO READ

So here it goes!

Two beautiful and talented people tied the not last month, actress Gabrielle Union, 41, and Miami Heat player Dwyane Wade, 32. They celebrated their nuptials in Miami, Florida. It was a family affair which they shared with Dwyane’s adorable boys.

When you first get married there is a transition period where you get to know the good, the bad, and the ugly. There are expectations and realities that are not present in a dating relationship that you begin to learn and witness once you get married. The first year of marriage can be considered difficult because it is a transition period. Both parties are learning their new roles, while simultaneously still attempting to keep a sense of self.

Screen Shot 2014-09-16 at 9.32.45 AMThis becomes even more difficult when children are added to the equation because not only are you dealing with the transition into becoming a husband or a wife, but you also have to make a transition to be mommy and daddy. Doing this simultaneously can prove to be difficult. It forces you to take on twice as many responsibilities, and it can put a strain on your relationship. Therefore, it is essential that you handle it with care and stay flexible!

Having children in your life is a true blessing from God! As much of a blessing as they are, it takes hard work to be a parent. If you choose to marry into a family with children, you not only marry your spouse but you also marry their children. You should be prepared to be a parent and treat them fairly. You have to become self-less and learn that you have to show them love. You must also realize that this is going to be a slow growing process. There will be times where you will get along and other times where you will not see eye-to-eye. However, you must note that this is a full time job that you cannot choose to quit. You have to hang in there and build up the relationship.

If you are the spouse who is bringing the children into the new marriage, choose wisely. You should never choose to marry anyone who does not love and respect your children. If you do you will regret it and the marriage will be sour.

Screen Shot 2014-09-16 at 1.23.05 PMWhen considering time together with your spouse you must know that their time will be split between you and their children, and you should be happy with the fact that they love and want to take care of their children. If they don’t take care of their children what makes you think that they will take care of you?

With this in mind it is also important that both spouses set time aside for just the two of you. It is important that you have that bonding time, especially when you first get married. You must consider time with both your spouse and their children, who will now be called YOUR children. Many marriages struggle as a result of a difference of opinions on how to spend money and how to raise children.

As a result having children can add stress to a relationship, so it is absolutely essential that the bride and groom discuss their expectations long before the choose to get married. This way there are not any huge surprises, and with God’s help the rest can be communicated through! Always keep him at the center of your relationship, and the head of your children’s lives, and everything will work out just fine! In fact, you will find yourself to be a happy and healthy family!

Congrats to Gabrielle and Dwayne and all of you other newly married couples with children! We are rooting for ya!

I Hope This Helps!

Chauntel

email questions to askchauntel@gmail.com

First Kiss Kissing Tips

13-year-old Cody writes:

Hi Chauntel,

I think my girlfriend is going to kiss me, so how should I do it?

kissing by photostock
by Stock Images

Hi Cody,

Kissing should happen in a fluid motion. It shouldn’t be rushed, and it very well shouldn’t make either of you feel pressured.

So, here are the basics:

1. Your hands should go around her waist, but not below the belt. Remember to always be respectful!

2. Her hands will naturally go above your shoulders around your neck.

3. Make eye contact. and see if she is on the same page and ready to go in for the kiss. If and when you see that she is, you can slowly go in for it. This will give you enough time to assess if she will meet you in the middle, or turn away instead.

Then you simply go in and naturally find her lips. After you lips meet, close your eyes.  Otherwise it is a little weird.

And that is it! Great job you have had your first kiss!

I Hope This Helps!

Chauntel

Advice to Kim Kardashian & Kayne West on How to Survive Year 1 of Marriage

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Hello My Jewels,

So, I am sure that you have heard of the “royal” wedding that united Kim Kardashian and Kayne West in holy matrimony over the weekend. And my ohhhh my did she look stunning to say the least! This dress was a much better option compared to the former dress she wore when she was wedded with Chris Humphries. It fits her shape like a glove, more on than the latter…In this post I will be sharing my advice to Kim and Kayne and other newly-wedded couples!

It is commonly shared that the first year of marriage is the most difficult. You may wonder why? Well there are many things to consider when starting your marriage off.

So here is my advice to Kim and Kanye as well as anyone else who is newly married or will be:

Keep you private conversations private. It is good to have a good friend/or family member as a relief system to talk to outside of your spouse, but don’t share incriminating information because it may cause resentment, unless you are being abused of course.

In lieu of the fact that you have busy schedules, be sure that you are spending quality time together. You may have busy schedules, but the last thing that you want is to be lacking in time spent together. It is just as important as the other things that you wish to do with your time.

Take time to show your appreciation to each-other by doing small little thoughtful things for each-other as a reminder that you care.

During the first year of marriage you learn each-other’s habits and expectations. Some of these are good and some bad.  You may or may not agree with many of them, but you must communicate and establish a common ground. Here is where you learn to compromise.

To have a successful first year of marriage you must pay close attention to detail. What is it that your husband/wife wants and needs. You must identify that. Many times we speak with our eyes. So learn to read their non-verbal cues.

Screen Shot 2014-05-27 at 10.31.53 AMAlso, don’t let the small hick-ups go unresolved. Communicate through every bump in the rode. If you allow bad feelings to grow you will eventually grow resentment towards your spouse. It is essential  that you share your feelings often. Also, be sure that you spend quality time together. Time with your spouse needs to be included in your schedule just like everything else. Relationships take work and they occupy your time.

Be sure to praise your spouse for the things that they are doing well. If you only focus on what they are doing wrong you will find it difficult to make them feel good. They will also feel as though they are not making you happy which will in turn cause them to feel self-conscious. Even though you may not realize it, you two have expectations of each-other. These expectations are usually based off of what you have witnessed as a child as you watched your parents or  “parent-like” figures interact. Be sure to communicate what you expect from each-other in the beginning.

Spend time doing things that you enjoy together, but also sacrifice and do things that each of you separately enjoy even if you personally don’t like those things. You do this because you love each-other.

Spend time with both of your families and friends. Keep it fair!

Share your  life with your spouse. You want to make them feel like they are the center of your world.

I Hope This Helps!

Email Questions to askchauntel@gmail.com, and comment below with your advice!

-Chauntel

How to Get a Girl to Stop Texting Your Boyfriend – Ask Chauntel – Relationship Advice

Ever been in a situation where someone else is interested in your boyfriend or girlfriend? How do you handle the situation?

 

Happy New Year

ImageHello Beautiful People!

I am so blessed and grateful to you for your support! There are millions of people blogging out there, but you chose to support me, and I want to thank you for it.

2014 is here, and we have an opportunity to make positive choices in  our professional, romantic, and spiritual lives.

Don’t make empty resolutions. Choose to make realistic changes in your life that will make a difference. Feel free to email me with your questions and refer me to your friends!

Be Blessed!

Chauntel

email questions to askchauntel@gmail.com