In this video I share a few relationship red flags that you must look for when you are dating someone new. I also share a Christian dating advice tip that you absolutely must be aware of when beginning a new relationship! If you have questions feel free to email me! Email me questions to firstname.lastname@example.org Free Audio Training: https://askchauntel.com/newsletter/ Video Mentioned at End: https://youtu.be/qklTpUF72qs Private Coaching: https://askchauntel.com/coaching/
In this video I give Christian Relationship Advice on what you should do as a woman to make a man want you. I respond to a viewer comment from a video that I posted a few weeks ago on how to make a man miss you! It is so important to remember to be yourself in a relationship! You don’t have to change who you are to be loved or wanted!
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Whether you are crushing on a guy that you just met or looking to “reel-in” a guy that just caught your eye there is a recipe to attraction.
Although, us women can be pretty complicated when it comes to relationships, guys are pretty simple when it comes to what they want or don’t want.
The key here is to set things up where you are pursued.
Music by My Hubby Davd Beats to add to your experience reading this post 🙂
Now, this doesn’t mean that you don’t have any real control over what is happening. You just put things into place so that he can take the leading role.
Why? Well, the way that God designed the roles, men are to be the ones leading, and we follow our men. So wait for him girl; let him approach you!
So here is the recipe that we have all been waiting for:
Catch his Attention
Remember, first impressions are very important when it comes to relationships. So make sure that you are at your best. This means physically and every other way. So, look good and smell good around him, and be the best version of yourself in general.
Don’t hide who you are, let your light shine bright girl! Be you, because if you present a false version of yourself he won’t be liking you. Instead, he will like a skeleton of you.
However, with this said, use your table manners and be a lady. If that’s not you, you might need to work on that!
Lay the foundation
Don’t get friend-zoned and position yourself as one of the guys. Flirt with him! Make sure that he sees you as a beautiful feminine women who he can imagine himself in a relationship with.
Be pleasant and somewhat mysterious in your dress and conversation. “Let your hair down” and be feminine so that he can be masculine. Don’t show off all of your goods! Being modest in apparel will help him to respect you! You can be classy and sexy, no need to be trashy! A little mystery goes a long way, he doesn’t need your whole life story from jump. Give him something to look forward to learning about you.
So, with that being said, don’t always be available, have somethings going on in your life. It keeps you interesting.
Establish Your Role
The key to getting a guy to like you is not only to attract him but you also have to have that “it” factor to keep him so that he will want to commit to you. If you do this right, you won’t have to ask or wonder what your role is.
You want him to feel like you are apart of his world, and without you his world isn’t complete. So how do you do this?
When you are in his world, be interested, be attentive, add to it. Don’t overstep boundaries or make him feel hovered. Don’t rush anything or scare him away.
If he wants you in his world he will put you in it. If he never does, then you know that this one just isn’t the right relationship for you.
You should never have to force position. If you force it now, just imagine how you will feel later.
I Hope This Helps!
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Amaryah from California writes,
I have a serious question about my partner. He’s a great person. Protective. A leader. Hard working and all the important stuff. We have been together 4 years and are getting married in 3 months. Since we have gotten engaged, his family has taken a turn for the worst!
-My partner and I were in escrow for a house. His mom called me over alone to pick up some necessary documents. She used the opportunity of us being alone to tell me off and disrespect me. She insulted me as a woman and adult. My fiancé told her she can’t talk to me like that but her behavior never really changed.
– The next time I was alone with his mom, she told me it is my duty as a woman to have sex with her son and wear lingerie for him. My sex life is none of her business, and he and I are not married yet. I know she doesn’t talk to her daughters that way. My boundaries of respect were violated.
-His father constantly insults (or back handed compliments) my family. He once told me I’m beautiful and it’s a shame my sisters are ugly. He also told me he hopes I don’t end up rude like mother. And once he said I look pregnant! (I am very fit and he knows I’m working hard for a wedding dress body. It was a calculated insult).
– My in-laws constantly would ask be about children before the wedding date was even set. This is an insult to me because I was raised to wait until marriage to have children and they know that. They raised their family in that way too. I don’t see them asking their daughters those kind of questions
-My partner’s oldest sister invited me to a night out to get to know me better and invited a girl she tried to set my man up with! It was hazing before he proposed a month later
– His family is drama. That same sister accused him of prioritizing me over his family. Like yes the Bible says he’s supposed to leave his family of origin to start a new life with me.
– I tried winning them over/impressing them by offering to cook Mother’s Day lunch. His mom constantly questioned my home making skills (in my culture, that is an insult to my womanhood). He and I both assured her it would be my pleasure to cook. She still cooked anyway and his sisters made it a point to taunt me that she cooked.
This is just some examples. There are so many instances of disrespect towards me as a future daughter in law. His family completely changed once he put a ring on it. I used to be cool with them and it all changed once we were engaged and bought a home. And I don’t know what to do. I don’t want to take him away from his family but I also cannot put up with this behavior until death do us part. I’m beginning to have second thoughts even about children. If they are over bearing and possessive of him now, imagine how they will behave when I have children?
I want a successful relationship with my man. But I don’t know what to do. He’s tried talking to them on my behalf. I stand up for self when they make comments about me. But they just don’t stop. My only idea is to no longer visit them or see them. But I know that will be hard on my partner. I can’t just grin and bear it. Their behavior has literally given me panic attacks (I panic in private)
How do I let go of my resentment towards his family in order to have a successful relationship with my future husband? Do you think our relationship stands any chance? How do I get his family to stop disrespecting me? I feel really hopeless. People divorce over in laws after all.
I should also note: He’s protective of them. When I had panic attacks, he thought I was being dramatic and overly critical of his family. I don’t want him to chose sides but I feel for the past 4 years, he has taken their side over mine in every instance. The recent Mother’s Day event, when his mother was insulting my cooking abilities (they all ended up loving the food by the way!!), he even asked, well why did u offer????
He’s getting a little better at standing up for me but I just don’t know what to. I feel really lost and down about it and hopeless about my relationship. The worst part is, I think this is what the want in the end. To break us up and have him all to themselves again. How can I forgive people who refuse to admit to what they do or even apologize?
He also supported them financially until he bought a house with me….
This is a very difficult situation that you are in, and I am so glad that you asked the question. Many women deal with difficult in laws, and I believe they can also learn from your situation. Just know that you are not alone in this.
First of all congrats on your wedding and finding a suitable groom to marry.
Here is the bottom line when it comes to his family, he has to be the one to fix it. He has to understand your perspective and defend your position with them. You cannot do this successfully for a number of reasons.
If you try to stand up against his family, in the way that he should stand up for you, you run a chance of him being upset with you. You may also say or do something that will sever your relationship with them for good. What we hope for is a possible positive future between you and your in laws. I believe that with some positive communication and time this is still possible.
It appears that your mother-in-law is pinning her family against you, and doing her best to get rid of you. I think you should hang in there as long as he is willing to stand up for you.
If he does not become understanding and sympathetic towards your position, then I think you will find it difficult to be in a marriage with him.
And yes, you are very wise, when children are added to the picture it will be even more difficult this is why he has to nip it in the bud now.
So, the only person who can fix this is him, and if he doesn’t do it now, you might have to consider if you want to go into a life long marriage with this type of animosity between you and your in-laws.
It is normal to have some resistance in these relationships, but not to the point where you are having panic attacks and dealing with all of this verbal abuse.
To your question of if you can just stay away from them, no, it seems that they are close and you don’t want to unlink him from his family completely that will make him unhappy and possibly give him resentment towards you.
As you mentioned, yes, the Bible does say, for the man to leave his mother and father and cleave to his wife in Matthew 19:5. That simply expresses that he has to be the one to get this situation under control.
If he is a man of God, and you are in a Christian Relationship then he should do this without a problem. If he is not, then you are about to face a more challenges.
I Hope This Helps!
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I share Christian Relationship Tips in this video on how to make a man miss you! If you want to set relationship goals to make him miss you this is an relationship advice video will be of great assistance! I hope you enjoy these relationship tips and share them with others!
Proverbs 21:19 It is better to live in a desert land than with a quarrelsome and fretful woman.
DON’T DO: The Nag Instead of the Brag
Men don’t respond well to nagging. I mean who does? The best way to get the most out of your man is praise him for what he does right, and request the things that you need at the right time.
If you follow these two simple guidelines you will get the most out of your man more often. If you really want something done, you should not only consider asking, but ask when he is available to actually get the task done and is not preoccupied with another responsibility.
If you want your man to respond positively to you, brag on him. In fact, let him hear you do it! This makes him feel loved and proud to do more for you.
DONT’: Let Your Emotions Lead
Women were born with instincts that favor emotion over logic. Many times it is hard to not allow your emotions to affect your actions. However, to build a strong relationship you must remember not to allow your emotions to be the sole determinant of actions that you take.
Emotions do exist for a reason, and they play an important role in relationships. However, it is important to remember that they should not dictate you actions. Instead, weigh logic and emotion when choosing to make decisions.
DON’T: Find Self Worth in Him
Verse I Would Like to Share: Psalms 139:14
Remember that you are uniquely made by God. Therefore, instead of finding your worth in your relationship find your worth in God.
If you have no life outside of your relationship you will find it difficult to be happy within your relationship. This doesn’t mean that you cannot do things with your bae, but it does mean that you should have other things that you are interested in doing on your own.
Simply, keep your girlfriends and have a hobby. There will be times where your guy wants to hang with his guy friends, and you should be ok with that. He will be more excited to get home to you if you don’t make a fuss about it. Remember to make your life equally as interesting as he thinks his is!
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In this video I share Christian relationship advice with women on what men want. As women men can seem so hard to understand when considering dating and relationships. I will give love advice on how to keep your man happy and coming back for more! Watch!
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In this video I share my relationship tips on being a good wife. There are some specific things to consider when trying to build a happy marriage. I am Christian, and I therefore have Christian values. These tips will help you build a Healthy Christian Marriage.
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I’m nervous about talking to black girls any suggestions?
So there is this massive media portrayal of black women being, for lack of a better word, “difficult” to approach or get a long with in a relationship. This is really a huge misconception.
I believe in many ways we are being misrepresented. We maybe bold, and we may seem intimidating at first, for whatever the reason, but we are truly very light hearted. When we love we love hard. We treat our men like kings.
More and more black women are reaching outside of their race.
Bellow are some celebrity couples that you may be familiar with. For purposes of this post, we won’t get into the specifics of their relationships.However, for your knowledge some are currently: married, divorced, broken-up, dating. You get the picture! Either way they have been coupled up at one time or another! Take the poll below to vote on your favorite!
To answer your question specifically, approach with confidence. If you don’t have it, “fake it til’ you make it!” There isn’t anything spectacularly different about approaching a black women than approaching any other women! Just be yourself, and be confident in what you have to offer.
With all that being said, make sure that you have something to offer. Which might mean, scaling back to work on building yourself up before approaching a woman.
Oh, and here is a recent video that I produced:
Titled: Do Black Women Like White Men?
I Hope This Helps!
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Which was your favorite black woman and white man celebrity couple? Take the poll! Give comments and advice:
I’m back and ready to share some useful tips for you!