What Men Want – Christian Relationship Advice for Women

In this video I share Christian relationship advice with women on what men want. As women men can seem so hard to understand when considering dating and relationships. I will give love advice on how to keep your man happy and coming back for more! Watch!

Email me questions to askchauntel@gmail.com

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How to Have Succesful Marriage – Ask Chauntel

I’m back and ready to share some useful tips for you!

New Video: Should I Choose My Boyfriend Over My Family? – Relationship Advice – Ask Chauntel

Have you ever been in a situation where it seems like you are not receiving support for your romantic relationship from the people who matter most, your family? How do you handle the situation? Who do you choose, and what do you do? Watch! askchauntel@gmail.com

Kendra Chooses to Stay With Hank Baskett After He Cheated- Should You Stay Married After Infidelity?

Screen Shot 2014-12-10 at 12.46.09 PMKendra Baskett has been thrust into the spotlight since her time in the Playboy Mansion. The reality star and model starred in the E! reality television series Girls Next Door. This series documented her life as one of Hugh Hefner’s girlfriends. She now headlines her own reality series Kendra on Top. With all of this time in the lime light Kendra has shared intimate moments of her life with a broad audience. Her husband Hank, of six years, allegedly cheated on her with a transexual model, Ava London. Hank was very remorseful and went into a deep depression surrounding the time of his affair, he shares with US Weekly. “For the past two years, I’ve gone through a serious struggle with depression, and during that time I lost the ability to open up toScreen Shot 2014-12-10 at 12.49.50 PM my best friend, Kendra,” Hank told Us Weekly. “I had trouble thinking of the right thing to say the right way, especially in a situation like this, where it’s your word against someone else’s.” When the story about her perfect marriage, looking to be in shambles, broke Kendra found it difficult to deal with all of the pressure of media. However, she handled it gracefully. During, her exclusive interview with Access Hollywood Kendra defended her marriage. Then, in a later interview with Giuliana Rancic, Kendra stated: “I cannot shut this man down. I’m willing to spend the rest of my life trying to figure this out rather than spend one night single.” Whether or not you agree with Kendra’s decision, you must believe that it took a lot of strength for her to stand up against the media’s chastising of her decision to stay with Hank. Do you agree with Kendra’s decision, vote below? My Opinion: I feel that Kendra made this decision based on what was best for her. It’s easy to point fingers and say what she should do, but its her marriage and her life. Unless, you can live it for her, let her make her own decision and don’t ridicule her for it! We can all take time to judge what Hank has done, and most would tell her to leave him. However, we do not have all the facts, and we are not in their relationship. If their love is strong enough to survive, then let it go on! But Kendra, if these patterns with Hank continue get-out-of-dodge!

Help My Husband Is Addicted to Drugs

Lily Ann writes:

Dear Chauntel,

I d0n’t kn0w what do. I need advice. My husband is a drug abuser, and our relationship is not working. However, I love him and so do our children.

We have tried to come to an agreement, but it is useless. How long will I wait for him to be a good man and not always lie? I want to leave him, but its really hurtful. I don’t want to regret anything. I feel like it would be ruining my own family. I am also dealing with verbal abuse from him.

Please help me Chauntel!

Hi Lily Ann,

You are in a very difficult situation, and I am sorry that you have to endure such pain. However, I applaud you for admitting that this is a challenge in your lifScreen Shot 2014-10-30 at 1.20.16 PMe and seeking for a way to face it.

It is essential that your husband receives professional help. However, he has to be ready and willing to seek out this help. Neither you nor anyone else can make him change, it has to be a conscious decision that he wants to make in his life.

It reminds me of the metaphor, you can bring a horse to water, but you cannot make him drink.

So here is my advice to you, seek some spiritual counseling for yourself and for your children. If you are not involved in a church I think now is a great time to introduce yourself and your children to the comfort and support that God brings.

Then, I want you to utilize the resources around you to get your husband the help that he needs and deserves. If he is willing to receive help great, you guys can work towards a positive future. If you are not able to find resources around you. I have a list of Crisis Help Resources here on my website that should be of use to you. Here is the link.

In addition, if he is causing harm to you and your children and is not in the mindset to receive help or make a change you will have to part ways with him. I know that this is a very difficult situation to be in, and no wife wants to leave her husband. However, you have to consider you and your children’s safety and well being.

I hope that he is willing to receive help to break this bad habit and find spiritual peace within himself as well, but it is truly his decision to make.

You can bring him to the water of life, but he has to choose to follow you and take the steps necessary to try to make a better life for you and your children.

If he does not, he will leave you with no choice but to part ways.

I will be praying for you and your family. I hope it works out, and I wish you all the best!

Peace and Love!

Chauntel

email questions to askchauntel@gmail.com send questions to Insta/Twitter @askchauntel

Stress Can Cause a Break up – Advice to Jason Derulo and Jordan Sparks on their Split

It’s Celebrity Tuesday again Jewels and Gems!

Screen Shot 2014-09-30 at 2.28.21 PMSo, if you haven’t heard yet, during his interview with Ryan Seacrest, singer Jason Derulo hinted at the fact that the “Pressure of Marriage” contributed to his split from the gorgeous former American Idol Winner, Jordan Sparks.

In his interview Derulo added that their busy schedules contributed to time apart, which added stress to their relationship.

It is important to remember that when you put stress on a relationship it can cause it to crumble. When it comes to dating, at the point that the two people involved in the relationship want divergent things stress can begin to strain the relationship.

Screen Shot 2014-09-30 at 2.29.04 PMThis is why compromises are made. They are made to account for the negatives and divergent ideas that arise within a relationship. However, all things cannot be compromised. They should not be. It reminds of the saying my mom always told me: “If you don’t stand for something you will fall for anything”. So some people’s views and passions will ultimately separate them. There is not getting around that.

When relationships split, it is sad. It doesn’t matter how much you understand why it has to end this way, they do, and accepting it can be hard.

So, here is my advice to Jason and Jordan. In life we meet amazing people that play a grave impact on us. Some more than others. We must take those experiences, appreciate them, and sometimes in time we must move on. The next time around you will be stronger and better than before, if you wisely take note of why it didn’t work out and apply that to making better decisions in the future you will eventually end up with what you are looking for. Hopefully, that includes a happy ending for both of you.

Who knows what really happened between Jason and Jordan right? I think we need both sides of the story.

Lets go with idea that what he implied about her pressuring him into marriage to be true. When it comes to pressuring a man for marriage, its not a good idea. If you want it to last both of you must be all in. It takes work to have a successful marriage. You have to take that very serious.

Screen Shot 2014-09-30 at 2.50.26 PMNow, if you  have decided that marriage is something you want, I do believe it is important to be mindful of the amount of time you are dating someone. If there seems to be no future commitment and that is in your life plan, I see nothing wrong with walking away from a relationship when enough time has passed. If talks of marriage have not risen at all in 2 years, by my clock its looking iffy. By year 3, some direction should have been shared. Even-though there is no magic number explaining how long is too long. If something hasn’t happened between the 3rd and 5th year, I would start asking questions. Anytime before that I think is too early to walk away. I mean give the guy some time. At-least talk about it first before you call it quits! Some women have a number in their head, and if dude misses the deadline she walks away. I am not a fan of that method! Talk to him, see if you want the same things, if not then you can confidently walk away, not fearful that you left something behind! – I know TANGENT!

I would also like to say, that generally speaking your romantic partner is suppose to be you oasis away from the stressors in your life. So, if you are causing stress in your relationship re-adjust yourself. If your partner is causing stress within the relationship be sure to have a serious conversation with them letting them know how you feel. Don’t wait until it gets worse. Address it now!

Happy Life = Let Go Of the Stressors and move on. Or in better words: Let Go and Let God!

I Hope That Helps!

Chauntel

Have a question? Email them to askchauntel@gmail.com, or click CONTACT above!

Keeping Your Marriage Happy – Marriage Mondays

by imagerymajestic
by imagerymajestic

Hey Jewels & Gems!

I have decided to expand my horizons a bit! Here is a new series on my blog! It may spill over into my YouTube channel who knows! It is entitled Marriage Mondays! I did write one a while back, to try it out! You guys seemed to like it so lets get it going! Even if you are not married some of these posts may still help with those of you in relationships!

Click: First Marriage Mondays Post

So here it goes!

The little things matter! In love and marriage, it is important to always remember that your spouse may not always outwardly express what they may be feeling, but it is your job to stay in tune with not only their needs but also their wants!

Not only does this make them feel special, but it also makes them feel needed and wanted. Sometimes we find ourselves so wrapped up in our own worlds that we forget to stop and assess what’s going on around us.

small arrowIt is during these times, that the ones closest to us, might find themselves needing us the most. So, we have to, as they say “take time to smell the roses”. Slow down and connect with your spouse, so that you can attend to what they need.

Did you know that 93% of communication happens nonverbally. There was a study done by Dr. Albert Mehrabian, author of Silent Messages. He found that only 7% of communication happens through words and 38% is expressed through vocal elements. More the 55% is communicated through nonverbal elements such as facial expressions, gestures, posture, and related body language.

Next to God, your spouse has to be the second top priority in your life, more than work or other activities. If they are not happy, it will begin to effect each of you individually; then it will begin to effect your marriage.

So pay close attention to both their verbal and nonverbal cues. If you only listen to the words that you hear and ignore what you see, you are truly missing out on 93% of the bigger picture. Give it a try this week, be attentive to your spouses wants as well as their needs and see just how much you make them smile! Attention to nonverbal cues is essential to keeping a happy marriage!

I Hope This Helps!

Chauntel

Have a Marriage Monday Topic Idea?

email questions to askchauntel@gmail.com

Advice to Kim Kardashian & Kayne West on How to Survive Year 1 of Marriage

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Hello My Jewels,

So, I am sure that you have heard of the “royal” wedding that united Kim Kardashian and Kayne West in holy matrimony over the weekend. And my ohhhh my did she look stunning to say the least! This dress was a much better option compared to the former dress she wore when she was wedded with Chris Humphries. It fits her shape like a glove, more on than the latter…In this post I will be sharing my advice to Kim and Kayne and other newly-wedded couples!

It is commonly shared that the first year of marriage is the most difficult. You may wonder why? Well there are many things to consider when starting your marriage off.

So here is my advice to Kim and Kanye as well as anyone else who is newly married or will be:

Keep you private conversations private. It is good to have a good friend/or family member as a relief system to talk to outside of your spouse, but don’t share incriminating information because it may cause resentment, unless you are being abused of course.

In lieu of the fact that you have busy schedules, be sure that you are spending quality time together. You may have busy schedules, but the last thing that you want is to be lacking in time spent together. It is just as important as the other things that you wish to do with your time.

Take time to show your appreciation to each-other by doing small little thoughtful things for each-other as a reminder that you care.

During the first year of marriage you learn each-other’s habits and expectations. Some of these are good and some bad.  You may or may not agree with many of them, but you must communicate and establish a common ground. Here is where you learn to compromise.

To have a successful first year of marriage you must pay close attention to detail. What is it that your husband/wife wants and needs. You must identify that. Many times we speak with our eyes. So learn to read their non-verbal cues.

Screen Shot 2014-05-27 at 10.31.53 AMAlso, don’t let the small hick-ups go unresolved. Communicate through every bump in the rode. If you allow bad feelings to grow you will eventually grow resentment towards your spouse. It is essential  that you share your feelings often. Also, be sure that you spend quality time together. Time with your spouse needs to be included in your schedule just like everything else. Relationships take work and they occupy your time.

Be sure to praise your spouse for the things that they are doing well. If you only focus on what they are doing wrong you will find it difficult to make them feel good. They will also feel as though they are not making you happy which will in turn cause them to feel self-conscious. Even though you may not realize it, you two have expectations of each-other. These expectations are usually based off of what you have witnessed as a child as you watched your parents or  “parent-like” figures interact. Be sure to communicate what you expect from each-other in the beginning.

Spend time doing things that you enjoy together, but also sacrifice and do things that each of you separately enjoy even if you personally don’t like those things. You do this because you love each-other.

Spend time with both of your families and friends. Keep it fair!

Share your  life with your spouse. You want to make them feel like they are the center of your world.

I Hope This Helps!

Email Questions to askchauntel@gmail.com, and comment below with your advice!

-Chauntel

What do Women Want for Valentines Day?

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So, you finally survive through choosing the perfect Christmas gift, then you look up and it’s already time for another thoughtful gift. A Valentines Day gift! What is a guy to do?

I understand your frustration guys, and I hear the pain. So, I thought I would provide you with a guide to selecting the perfect Valentines Day gift!

8 Ways to Avoid Buying the Wrong Valentines Day Gift

by Stoonn
by Stoonn

Selecting a gift for your sweetheart on Valentines Day can be a difficult task for many.

Why? Well there is a  large margin for error on this special day. Whether you have been in a relationship for a while, or if you just started dating, either reality causes for apprehension.

A Valentines Day gift is not like Birthday or Christmas gift, it is a very personal gift. The gift is symbolic of LOVE. It can be given between family, friends, or lovers.

But, the Question is what do you buy? Do you buy it, should you make it? Does it have to have a certain price point? All great questions, and the answer is different for every person.

1. The Gift Should Not Be Something that You Want
You shouldn’t get her your favorite candy, so that the two of you can “share.”

woman working out by marin
by marin

2. The Gift Should Not Hint Towards Something Underlying 
For example, don’t buy your husband/wife a gym membership to hint towards that fact that you want him/her to loose weight.

3. Don’t Be Cheap
The value of a gift is not always monetary. It should be something that you had to spend some time thinking about. You don’t have to empty you wallet, but you must remember the gift value is presenting their love value. It’s not about the money you spend it’s about the meaning behind the gift.

4. Don’t Re-gift  
If you gave the gift to your X, it’s probably not a good idea to give it to your new girl. So, take time to find a gift that is unique to her, or him. It looses it’s value, meaning, and thoughtfulness if it was given before.

5. Don’t Give Cheap Chocolate if You Are Over 16

Cheap chocolate tastes cheap. Ah! Gross! You would be better off buying a candy bar and adding a thoughtful card than buying a cheap box of chocolate and handing if over!

man giving his wife a gift
by Ohmmy3d

6. Don’t Buy A Card and Only Sign the Bottom
Buy a card to go with your gift, is such a great idea. It displays that you want to express in words  how much the person means to you. However, if you sign a blank card that only says “Happy Valentines Day” It makes your card dry and cold. Add a bit of your own handwriting, then sign your name!

7.  Don’t Buy a Birthday or Christmas Gift
Although jackets, shoes, and vacuums may be needed, a more special gift should be considered, like a necklace, earrings or a teddy bear.

8. Don’t Give Only Perishable Items
Flowers, and chocolate are great gifts for Valentines, but don’t forget the card or the teddy bear. Why? You want her to have something to remember you by. Something she can look at and think of you. She may be thinking of you as she bites into that yummy piece of chocolate, but she can keep the card to read and look over and over again.

This Guy is No Good for Me…But I am in Love – Help! – Ask Chauntel

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16-year-old Alisha writes:

I have been talking to and dating this boy on and off for about a year. Throughout the relationship we’ve had arguments, and he has done me very wrong. However, I was always quick to forgive him just to get back to our happiness. I hope you can get back to me, there is so much more to this story. I know he is not good for me, and he did me wrong. I love him tho, i truely do. We have fun and alot of goodtimes and memories together.

by Stuart Miles
by Stuart Miles

Hi Alisha,

This is very simple. You have said it all. This guy is no good for you. Why drag this out? I understand that your feelings for him are strong, but that does not excuse his behavior. You should walk away before you get deeper into this and get to a place where it is hard to recover your feelings. Be strong, you will get through this.

Thanks,

Chauntel

email questions to askchauntel@gmail.com