Best Postpartum Clothes— Nursing Friendly Fashion

Here is some postpartum nursing style inspiration for you Jewels and Gems! I thought I would share this awesome mom’s great tips on what to wear when you are nursing your baby from the Low Country Wife Life blog! She looks great, and I think you should consider some of her tips! Have a look to share? Comment Below!

One of the biggest challenges of being a new mom for me has been nursing. It’s one of the difficulties of what I call the 4th trimester. You can read more about that in this post. In addition to learning how to breastfeed, you have to learn how to make it fit into your life. One of […]

via Nursing Friendly Fashion — Lowcountry Wife Life

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Building Trust – Relationship Advice – Ask Chauntel

I share my tips on the keys to healthy trust filled relationships!

How to Prevent Suicidal Thoughts

Hello Jewels and Gems,

girl in garden by anankkml
by anankkml

A harsh reality is that many people around us are hurting. At times they cannot see a way to overcome their pain and circumstances. It is during these times that we have to be there to show our love and support.

This post is inspired by a viewer who sent me a question recently about wanting to prevent themselves from committing suicide.

To the Person Having Suicidal Thoughts:

You are Loved

It is important for you to know that you are loved. It may seem like everyone and everything around you is going downhill and out of your control, but even during the times that you feel alone just know that you are loved. Even if the people around you do not show you love, God loves you.

You Matter

Remind yourself that you matter. At times we feel unwanted and unneeded because people in our lives have made us feel like we are not important. Don’t let those horrible people define you. If you were not here, someone would miss you. In most cases many will miss you.

You Have a Purpose Exclusive to You

If you didn’t know it, you have a purpose. There are specific gifts and talents that have been given to you that no one can take away. Even if you have been told that you are not good enough, strong enough, smart enough, you have to believe that you are.

Sometimes it takes time to define your purpose in life. However, it is important for you to know that no one can live  your purpose for you. You were made by God for a specific reason. Only you can find that, and if you take it upon yourself to take your life you are robbing the world of your gifts and talents.

Life is Worth Living

Even during the hard times, you must remember that your life is truly worth living. There is nothing so bad in life that you should take your on life. There is always another option. You have other choices. There is a way to make your situation and your circumstance better, but you have to allow time and effort to make those changes happen.

Gather Support

Many times when a person is having suicidal thoughts its because they spend too much time alone. Sometimes we rob ourselves of time with others for one reason or another, but we all need someone. You cannot live life alone. You were not born alone, you didn’t live alone(within reason there is always someone near you even if they are a house away), and if you can help it you shouldn’t die alone.

Get Professional Help

If you have someone around you that you can trust talk to that individual, and let them know what is going on with you, this way they can be there to support you. They can also assist you in  finding the help that you need and deserve.

It is important for you to find professional help. Therefore, seek out a therapist or psychologist who can support you. They will help you to talk it out and identify the root of your problem so that you can continue moving forward.

Crisis Help Resources

I have some resources available for you here on my website. There are prayer hotlines as well as suicide hotlines that you can utilize if you are in a crisis listed on that page.

To Friends Providing Support

An individual who is having suicidal thoughts really needs your support. They probably won’t want help, but guide them to the help that they need. Make sure that the key players in their lives are aware of what is going on. Check in with them often and make sure that they are okay. Make sure that they know that they are loved and have a place in your life.

Whatever you do, do not turn a blind eye to this situation, and be sure that they are receiving help and talking it through. They may not want to be around people, but insure that they are. Too much time alone can result in more time for them to get deeper into their depression. Realize that this is a real thing, that they can overcome.

I Hope This Helps!

Chauntel

email questions to askchauntel@gmail.com

 

 

Pressured to Have My First Kiss

16-year-old Victoria writes:

Hi Chauntel,

I haven’t had my first kiss. I’m just the type of person who over thinks and I’m not quite sure how to kiss someone. I know first kisses might be over rated but I just want my to be something I won’t be embarrassed about. Thanks for everything hope you can answer soon.
Xoxo Victoria

by Ambro
by Ambro

Hi Victoria!

I know that everyone makes you feel like you have to have your first kiss by a certain time in order for you to be cool or accepted. However, don’t let the peer pressure get to you. You are not defined by your age when it comes to something as special as your first kiss. When it is time for it to happen it will. However, I do think you are putting a little too much pressure on it. It shouldn’t be treated as a chore! It should be fun and spontaneous. You learn most of it in the moment.

I Hope This Helps!

Here is a video that should help:

Experiencing a Miscariage Story -Physically

I want to send a special thank you to everyone for you love and support through this difficult process. This video is for those who have been following my journey as well as those will or have experienced this!

In this video I explain the physical pain that a miscarriage can cause. It can be very difficult to do normal day-to-day things, and you must give your body time to heal. I share my story of how I endured it, and I must say I could not have done it without my family.

I also forgot to mention that to soothe the cramps naturally, I drank fresh ginger tea and used a massager on my tense muscles.

Here is the video I was referring to towards the end of the video:

 

Advice to Kim Kardashian & Kayne West on How to Survive Year 1 of Marriage

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Hello My Jewels,

So, I am sure that you have heard of the “royal” wedding that united Kim Kardashian and Kayne West in holy matrimony over the weekend. And my ohhhh my did she look stunning to say the least! This dress was a much better option compared to the former dress she wore when she was wedded with Chris Humphries. It fits her shape like a glove, more on than the latter…In this post I will be sharing my advice to Kim and Kayne and other newly-wedded couples!

It is commonly shared that the first year of marriage is the most difficult. You may wonder why? Well there are many things to consider when starting your marriage off.

So here is my advice to Kim and Kanye as well as anyone else who is newly married or will be:

Keep you private conversations private. It is good to have a good friend/or family member as a relief system to talk to outside of your spouse, but don’t share incriminating information because it may cause resentment, unless you are being abused of course.

In lieu of the fact that you have busy schedules, be sure that you are spending quality time together. You may have busy schedules, but the last thing that you want is to be lacking in time spent together. It is just as important as the other things that you wish to do with your time.

Take time to show your appreciation to each-other by doing small little thoughtful things for each-other as a reminder that you care.

During the first year of marriage you learn each-other’s habits and expectations. Some of these are good and some bad.  You may or may not agree with many of them, but you must communicate and establish a common ground. Here is where you learn to compromise.

To have a successful first year of marriage you must pay close attention to detail. What is it that your husband/wife wants and needs. You must identify that. Many times we speak with our eyes. So learn to read their non-verbal cues.

Screen Shot 2014-05-27 at 10.31.53 AMAlso, don’t let the small hick-ups go unresolved. Communicate through every bump in the rode. If you allow bad feelings to grow you will eventually grow resentment towards your spouse. It is essential  that you share your feelings often. Also, be sure that you spend quality time together. Time with your spouse needs to be included in your schedule just like everything else. Relationships take work and they occupy your time.

Be sure to praise your spouse for the things that they are doing well. If you only focus on what they are doing wrong you will find it difficult to make them feel good. They will also feel as though they are not making you happy which will in turn cause them to feel self-conscious. Even though you may not realize it, you two have expectations of each-other. These expectations are usually based off of what you have witnessed as a child as you watched your parents or  “parent-like” figures interact. Be sure to communicate what you expect from each-other in the beginning.

Spend time doing things that you enjoy together, but also sacrifice and do things that each of you separately enjoy even if you personally don’t like those things. You do this because you love each-other.

Spend time with both of your families and friends. Keep it fair!

Share your  life with your spouse. You want to make them feel like they are the center of your world.

I Hope This Helps!

Email Questions to askchauntel@gmail.com, and comment below with your advice!

-Chauntel

My Girlfriend Cheated on Me How Do I Get Her Back? – Ask Chauntel

20-year-old Chedda from Nairobi, Kenya writes:

Hi Chauntel,

I just found out that my girlfriend was cheating on me, and I decided to break up with her…but i really love her. How do I get her to come back and say sorry?

ImageHi Chedda,

If your girlfriend cheated on you, then it is probably best that you broke up with her. The only time that I think you should consider going back into this relationship is if she has regained your trust and is obviously ready to make a positive change for the future of your relationship.

Otherwise, she will not respect you and will most likely continue to be unfaithful. So, my friend it is best that you let her do the apologizing. You have nothing to apologize for. She should be the one trying to make things work with you. If she isn’t then that probably means that she is just not that into you, and is not interested in continuing a relationship with you.

So, I would like to see you continuing to stand up for yourself, and wait to see how she handles the situation. If she is not apologetic, and is not pursuing you anymore, it’s best that you let this one go, ok? You deserve to be with someone who loves you and appreciates you for who you are.

I Hope This Helps!

Chauntel

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How to Re-establish Trust – Ask Chauntel

20-year-old KD from California writes,

Hi Chauntel,

I messed up a beautiful friendship I had with my producer’s wife by telling him something irrelevant. What I told him obviously crossed a line and I hurt his wife’s feelings. I didn’t mean to hurt her feelings nor betray her trust, but I did and I wanted to know what I could do to get her trust and friendship back? I miss the advice she used to give me. If you were me how would you approach her? Thank you so much 🙂

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by stockimages

Hello KD,

We all make mistakes. Although not impossible, trust can be a difficult thing to build once it has been broken. It takes time to rebuild, but it can be repaired with time and communication.

All you can do is apologize, communicate your feelings and give it time. A relationship, romantic or otherwise is give and take, so for this to work both of you have to work towards it. Meaning, the two of you have to be willing to work together to repair and re-establish your relationship.

Specifically, if I were you I would begin with a conversation with her directly. In person is best. On the phone is second best. Facebook messages and text messages can get a little gummy in these types of situations.

On one hand, words can destroy relationships, but if chosen wisely they can also repair relationships. With this in mind, you may find that it is impossible to repair some relationships. There is only way to know if this one will work out, how you may ask. You have to try.

So my advice is talk to her. If she doesn’t listen then she doesn’t care. If she takes time to listen, then the relationship has a shot at moving forward.

I Hope This Helps!

Chauntel

email questions to askchauntel@gmail.com

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Balancing Work and Family – Ask Chauntel

21-year-old Mitch  from New Jersey writes:

Hi there Chauntel,

As of now I have been actively been pursuing a career in Investment Banking. I realize that as of now, I think this is what I want to do. It has been a dream of mine for the for the past few years in my life.

After talking with some of my business professors, I realize that the path into IB is not as glorious as it sounds. The pay is obviously very good, but it comes with a price. 100 hour work weeks are the norm, and with that being said there is not much time for anything else. One of my professors told me I can definitely get to where I want to be, but you will be a lone wolf on this endeavor.

After hearing his advice to me this makes me question my efforts. I see everybody around me going to parties and having fun, while most of the time I give priority to my school work. In terms of relationships, I would really love to fall in love with a girl. I thought I had that once, but eventually that ended and I have a hard time believing I will feel those feelings again for another person.

In a nutshell, what do you think I should do? Should I still continue my efforts to achieve my goal and run the risk that I could not even end up liking what I do and I wasted all my time and effort on something I do not like? I fear that one day I will not be happy and realize I wasted my time and effort in something that does not make me happy.

by photostock
by photostock

Hello Mitch,

The path to success does come with some sacrifice and a lot of hard work. However, you cannot allow that to overtake you. After all, you only have one life to live, right?

The key to sorting out your situation is first identifying your values, then assigning priorities to to those values. Decide what your number one priority in life is, then your second, then your third, and so on. Once you know what holds the most value to you, you can decipher where to prioritize. For example, if you value school more than partying, then you might prioritize studying over partying on Friday night, and that’s ok! I did it!

 Also, make friends who also have busy schedules and won’t make you feel bad about yours!

Life is about balance. If you do not aide the social side of you, you will most likely not be as productive at work because you will begin to dread being there. So, what should you do instead? Well, since you are aware that the field you are in is very time consuming, you will have to schedule in your social time. If you don’t you will not be as productive at work, which may eventually lead to burnout. I know I have done it 🙂

So, setting aside your personal time to socialize is just as important as setting aside time to study.

Specifically, when it comes to Investment Banking(IB), is that your passion?  If so, are you willing to put in that 100 hours a week? It really comes down to how important is it to you to be an IB? How much do you value it in your life? If you value being in IB more than you value having more time for social activities and a romantic relationship, then maybe IB is not for you.

However, if the “money” isn’t going to be enough for you, and those extra 60 hours a week are not something that you want to sacrifice in your life, then this is not probably not the career path for you.

Now, as far a romantic relationship goes specifically, it will be very difficult to find a woman who is willing to be with a man who works 100 hours a week. However, there is that woman out there.

So, if you do end up working 100 hours a week. You absolutely must set aside time for her, but keep in mind that you are also going to have to have personal time. These things are important for the relationship to thrive.

If you choose to have kids later on, it will make for a very estranged relationship with them, because you will barely have time for yourself.

So, find out what you value the most, then prioritize from there. I am sure that you can work 100 hours a week, and have a family but I can assure you that your relationship with them will be greatly affected.

I offer private coaching sessions if you would like to chat about his more.

I Hope This Helps!

Chauntel
Email questions to askchauntel@gmail.com