My Boyfriend is a Drug Addict

Alek writes:

Hi Chauntel,

I saw your video on youtube about “letting go of ex”,so I would like you to give me advice about a problem I have.

I Iove one guy which goes with me on same college,we are friends,more then friends,he was my first.
The problem is that I really do love him,am not only in love,it’s more than that.
Am always there for him,I care,I wanna help him,I met his father and sister,I was in his house etc…but the problem is that he is ex drug addict,and his kinda strange…he talks about 3D dimensions,and this kind of stuff,like after death…and his mind is all the time in it.I do and try to understand him,cuz am open minded person usually…but he started it again – using drugs…(marihuana,mushrooms..) and he druged me once without me accepting it.
After I knew it,I became very angry and hurt,and I yelled…and then he said like “you know that I care,I love you”,come on,what is this please ??? how can you love someone and try to destroy them to be like you are ?! He says to me you deserve better person that I am…he doesn’t have friends,at least not real ones,he runs away from emotions,he is negative…but again there is other side of him,and this confuses me.
Lately we didn’t talk or met, 2 weeks or more,and I don’t wanna send messages or anything because am hurted deeply but again I miss him,and I don’t know what to do anymore.My friends keep telling me that he is jerk,that he doesn’t know what he has in front of him,and that he doesn’t deserve me…I know that they care,and to them this is easy to say…but why do I feel guilty then,and I don’t even know for what.
What should I do dear Chauntel ? cuz everything is mixed up and complicated.Sometimes I think that it is the best if I let go of him and everything…and just leave him.
Hello Alek,
Yes, considering that he is a druggy and has forced drugs on you, I would say it is time to walk away. You are right in each of your assumptions.
If he really “loved” you he wouldn’t involve you in this. This is pretty simple, this guy is bad news.
You may have serious feelings for him, but you have to love yourself more than you love him and let this one go.
Be encouraged, everything will be ok. You are making the right decision in walking away.
I Hope This Helps!
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Domestic Violence and I have 2 Kids

32-year-old Lesley writes:

Dear Chauntel,

I have 2 children their father passed away. I started dating 2 years ago a year back he started telling what to do, where to go where i can not go. And when i did not listen to his commands, he started beating and i kept quiet and he will tell me the next day that he did not mean to hurt me.

But now it is happening each and every week that i cannot attend church services coz im seeing other men.

Please help what do I do? I cant sleep at night  i wish that i could be around people all the time. My self esteem is so down. I feel useless.

by ambro domestic violenceDear Lesley,

It is difficult when you loose someone you love. Sometimes relationships like the one that you are in come into your life and become unbearable. I understand that you are in love with this man by the simple fact that you are still with him.

If not for your own life, you have been blessed with the gift of children, and for this reason you have to get out of this situation. This man does not mean any good to you. And it’s horrible to put your children through this. They do not need to see their mother being abused. It will tear them up inside.

I understand that you are in a controlling, abusive, and extremely dangerous situation. If he is controlling you to the point where you cannot even go to church you are going to have to get out soon. Make an excuse to leave the house and take the kids with you. Even if it is just the grocery store. Don’t take anything. That is not important. Take what is absolutely necessary and get out. There are women’s shelters that you can go to that will provide you with everything you need to start over.

This is a very unfortunate situation, and I will be praying for you. You need to seek help and support. Don’t try to do this alone. You may even consider reporting this to the police as soon as possible.

If you don’t get out of this situation your children will suffer. I am not sure of local agencies where you are, but if you visit they should be able to direct you to the services that you need.

Be Blessed and thanks for writing.


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