How to Stop Cutting Myself? – Life Advice for Girls – Ask Chauntel – NSSI

Leslie writes about NSSI, Non Suicidal Self Injury:

Hi Chauntel,

I hear you can help girls like me like to stop cutting. Well, my problem is that I am cutting cuz my friend raped me.

Hi Leslie,

Wow, I am so very, very sorry to hear that. I cannot imagine how you feel. I do however, want you to share this with someone that you know and trust, so that you can receive the help and support that you need.

Sometimes, we hurt ourselves to try to ease the pain that others have caused us. What you will learn is that hurting yourself will not ease the pain that you feel from that terrible experience.

I want you to know that God loves you more than you can imagine, and what happened to you is not your fault. You need to report whoever did this to you, for you and for anyone else who might be hurt by this person in the future.

I also, want you to seek some professional help to deal with overcoming the pain that this experience is causing in your life.

To get you started, I want to tell you that turning to self injury is not the answer. It will not take back what happened to you.

What I want you to do is take the power back in your life. Replace this negative behavior with a positive one. This way, you overcome this situation instead of beating yourself up about it.

You need to find out what is triggering you; what is causing you to want to harm yourself. It probably has a lot to deal with not dealing with your feelings.

Turn away from cutting yourself and turn your action into loving yourself and finding that love for yourself again. Do not let this person lead your life. Allow God to lead it for God is love.

You are the only one who can make the change in your life. You cannot erase what happened to you, but you have the power to choose how you will overcome it. I believe in you, and I know that you are greater than this situation. Thank you for being the voice of so many other girls like you. You have great courage, but you were not meant to overcome this alone.

Please, get support and prayer for what you are going through. My community is praying with and for you. I will provide some resources below.

May God bless you, and please know that you are not alone. There are unfortunately others who have been raped and abused, and they have overcome it. You can too. Here is a story of a girl you may relate to. Her story is different, but her coping of cutting herself is the same:

Thanks so much for writing me, it means the world to me.

Let Me Know if this helps!


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Domestic Violence and I have 2 Kids

32-year-old Lesley writes:

Dear Chauntel,

I have 2 children their father passed away. I started dating 2 years ago a year back he started telling what to do, where to go where i can not go. And when i did not listen to his commands, he started beating and i kept quiet and he will tell me the next day that he did not mean to hurt me.

But now it is happening each and every week that i cannot attend church services coz im seeing other men.

Please help what do I do? I cant sleep at night  i wish that i could be around people all the time. My self esteem is so down. I feel useless.

by ambro domestic violenceDear Lesley,

It is difficult when you loose someone you love. Sometimes relationships like the one that you are in come into your life and become unbearable. I understand that you are in love with this man by the simple fact that you are still with him.

If not for your own life, you have been blessed with the gift of children, and for this reason you have to get out of this situation. This man does not mean any good to you. And it’s horrible to put your children through this. They do not need to see their mother being abused. It will tear them up inside.

I understand that you are in a controlling, abusive, and extremely dangerous situation. If he is controlling you to the point where you cannot even go to church you are going to have to get out soon. Make an excuse to leave the house and take the kids with you. Even if it is just the grocery store. Don’t take anything. That is not important. Take what is absolutely necessary and get out. There are women’s shelters that you can go to that will provide you with everything you need to start over.

This is a very unfortunate situation, and I will be praying for you. You need to seek help and support. Don’t try to do this alone. You may even consider reporting this to the police as soon as possible.

If you don’t get out of this situation your children will suffer. I am not sure of local agencies where you are, but if you visit they should be able to direct you to the services that you need.

Be Blessed and thanks for writing.


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