Things Your Girlfriend Thinks But Doesn’t Say – Chauntel Fun Fridays!

Girls are complicated. They always say one thing that really translate to mean something entirely different. Watch Chauntel give a few reasonable translations.

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If she Has a Boyfriend…Should I Tell Her I Like Her?

21-year-old J from Flordia writes:

 Dear Ask Chauntel,
 My name is Jermaine and I have an interest in my coworker at work. She and I have been friends for over two years and I enjoy her company very much. Yet she is very quiet and reserve most of the time, but she loves when I come over and talk to her. I have been liking her for a very long time, but I haven’t told her yet because I wasn’t sure if she was the right girl for me. She asked me at work did I have a girlfriend and I told her not right now. I asked her the same question and she said she didn’t either, but that she was talking to someone right now. I even walked her to her car when it was time for her leave work. Chauntel I want to know:should I pursue a relationship with her even if she is talking to someone else? Just by her asking me the question: do I have girlfriend?, is that a sign she likes me right now? Look forward to your reply thanks!!!
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Hello J!
If she is not in a committed relationship she is fair gain. If you don’t tell her how you feel while there is still time, you will regret this. So, here is my advice.
Put your reservations aside and let her know how you feel. Her asking you if you have a girlfriend is a good sign, but it is not a tale-tale sign that she likes you. She may have just been curious and wanted to learn more about you.
She isn’t married, so you better let her know while you still can. When the wedding bells start ringing guess what? Times up. So go for it! Don’t rest on your laurels. If you don’t tell her how you feel, you will always wonder. You dig?
Once, you let her know how you feel it’s up to her. Respect her relationship if she is in one. Meaning don’t try to kiss her or anything just have a conversation, and let her know how you feel. If she doesn’t reciprocate, or isn’t ready to let go of her current situation, just continue to be her friend. If it is meant to be the opportunity will present itself again.
I Hope This Helps!
Chauntel
email questions to askchauntel@gmail.com

13 and in Love With a Married Woman

13-year-old Antoine writes:

Hey Chauntel,

Theres this women i like. I’m only 13, and she is like 21 and married. Would it matter if i tell her or should i just keep it balled up inside and never tell anybody?

Hi Antoine,

It’s perfectly normal for you to have a crush, but telling her how you feel would be inappropriate. Sometimes we have to control our inner thoughts. It is during these times that we keep our thoughts to ourselves.

The first issue that we have here is age. She is much too old for you. In fact, she could legally go to jail if she had any dealings with you. Second she is married, and you should never pursue a married woman. It is not honorable.

There will be plenty of wonderful women in your life. So, you are going to have to let this one go. Instead of thinking of it as keeping it bottled up inside, think of it as letting go of your impossible desires.

This is one you are going to have to walk away from. If you really feel like you need to share it. Talk to a close friend who you can trust, or find an artistic expression. You could write a poem or paint something. You can even write  a song. Just don’t attach her name to any of it.

I Hope This Helps!

Chauntel

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New Video: What Attracts a Guy to a Girl – Ask Chauntel Radio

We are all searching for someone to love. Love is the one thing that we are all in pursuit of. Embrace it, let’s talk about it. Do you have a question? Feel free to call in during the live broadcast or submt to askchauntel@gmail.com. Check out our website http://www.askchauntel.com

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My Military Parents Don’t Support My Career Decisions

Grace writes:

Hello Chauntel,

Recently we moved as my family’s in the military. I will be a senior in high school next year and my parents have a certain college in mind for me. The problem is that i don’t want to go there. I know what i want to do for my career but they don’t want to send me to any schools that offer pre-vet classes. I found some decent colleges and prices but they still want me to stay in the state. i have tried several times to show them other options but if i don’t go to a college in this state they will hear none of it. Do you have any advice? Thank you in advance.
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Hi Grace,
It is very important to continue to show respect your parents, but when you begin making decisions that are not inline with their plan for you it can become difficult.
However, you have to express how you feel to them. In reality, you are the one who is going to be going to class and doing the work, and once school is over you will be working the job.
It is unfair for your parents to try to force you into a career that you don’t want to do, but trust me you are not the only one who is dealing with this. Our parents invest a lot in our lives, and into our education. Sometimes they do not know where to draw the line.
It is up to you to bring it to their attention, and you must be gentle in your approach. Make sure that they understand that you respect their wishes, but that you have to be the one to make this decision as it is going to affect your life directly. Ask them to respect your wishes. They may not, and if they don’t it is ok. In time they will come around.
What I don’t want you to do, is go to a college or pursue a degree that you don’t want. This would be a waste of your time and money.
What  I want you to do is respectfully decline your parents recommendation, and find a college program that is inline with your career goals and apply there.
I Hope This Helps!
Chauntel
email questions to askchauntel@gmail.com

My Girlfriend Has Too Many Guyfriends

21-year-old Ryan from Massachusetts writes:

Hi Chauntel!,

How are you? I had a few relationship questions.

1. I’ve been in a relationship with my girlfriend for about 2 months and everything is great. She is on the field hockey team at school and hangs out with a lot of kids on other sports teams. She says she’d never cheat, and alot of the baseball kids are her best friends…..is there a way I can handle this because honestly i’ve never dated a girl with so many good guy friends.

2. She isn’t very romantic and I am, is there a way to coax her into being more romantic or do I give her space and let her come to me?

3. Since this is all new and my last relationship was of 3 years, what advice to you have to keeping relationships fun, healthy and happy.

Hi Ryan,

I love your questions, and I will address them one at a time just as you have asked them.

1. If your girlfriend is in an environment with a lot of guys, that is ok. You have to have confidence within yourself and your relationship. The two of you just need to sit down and develop boundaries on what is appropriate within your relationship when comes to hangouts with the opposite sex. Once you two have agreed on what is appropriate you have to trust her. I know it is a hard thing to do, but you have to do it for the sake of your relationship. When and if those boundaries are crossed then that is when you actually have a problem, but for the time being don’t make it an issue. It is not.

2. In most relationships one person is usually more romantic than the other. That is ok. It works out better that way because one person balances the other out. Now, the problem is when she is not willing to be romantic with you, but if she is in the moment with you and enjoying it, stop complaining. It is ok that you are the initiator. In fact, that is even better because you are the guy. But again, this is not a problem so don’t make it one.

3. Wow, you’re third question is a loaded one. I could probably write a book on it, but we will do what we can here. To keep a relationship fun, healthy and fresh you have to include excitement in what you do. Celebrate the little things. Compliment each other often. Always be in tune to what the other person is feeling. Don’t just listen to what they say, but watch their body language. Stay in tune with their emotions. Never, get into such a routine that you never do anything spontaneous. Think out of the box and find little ways to surprise each other. Communication is the key ingredient to this. If you have good communication and stay in tune with your mates emotions you will have the best chance at a healthy, fun, and happy relationship.

I also have an article that I wrote entitled: 10 Ways To Build a New Successful Relationship

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I Don’t Know How to Be Friends With My Ex

24-year-old John from Dallas writes:

Hi  Chauntel,

I broke up with my ex in February because i wanted to finish my associate degree (which i did) and work full time to save for a car (in which i dont have yet). We’ve been great friends since. We still talk great. No sex involved. Some days I want it back. Some days i only want general sex with women i DONT care for. How do I know if we should try it again? Or if I need to be single?

Follow-up Question from Chauntel to John:

Hi John,

Those days that you “want it back” what is it that you are missing or wanting?
Those days that you “don’t care for her,” why is that?
Reply from John:

I want back the fact that I only need to worry about her and not making a handful of women happy.

On single days I like to flirt and know that if I had sex with a girl, another wouldn’t get offended. There would be no commitment.

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by by artur84

Chauntel’s Response:

Hi John,

I think it is great that you and your ex have remained friends, that is so important. However, I am not convinced that you are ready to be in a relationship.

I think it is comfortable for you to be with her, and that is why “some days” you like it. You are not that into her. It is nice that you are worried about her, but you cannot feel guilted into a relationship with her. That is not fair to either of you. She will end up being hurt in the long run if you continue to walk the line. Don’t send her mixed signals. If you guys are friends, then don’t make her feel like it is more. That is torture.

I also think you are just fearful of moving on.

Don’t mess up your friendship with her, unless you are sure that you actually want to pursue a relationship with her. If you do, both of you will end up hurt.

You are in the mood to play the field, and that’s ok. The only time that becomes a problem is if you put yourself in a committed relationship. Don’t do it.

I know that you enjoy the comfort of a girl to come home to, but you cannot have that and play the field. You have to choose one or the other. I would not advise you to jump back into a relationship with her. Give yourself sometime. You are obviously searching for something that you did not find in that relationship. Continue to respect her.

Don’t “accidently” have sex with her one-night and say it just happened, because guess what it will mean much more to her than it just being an accident. You seem like a nice guy so don’t force this.

I Hope This Helps!

Chauntel

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9 Things a Girl Should Never Say to Her Boyfriend!

10 is laugh at him! Chauntel gives women advice on 9 things they should never say to their boyfriend. Funny! Watch! askchauntel@gmail.com http://www.askchauntel.com

Weekly Ask Chauntel Poll: How should a girl show that she is interested?

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How Can I Change Myself to Get a Boyfriend

14-year-old Mila from Germany writes:

Hey Chauntel!

I have a big problem.

I’m in love in this one guy, but I don’t know how get him to like me.

I’ve seen lots of your videos but i’ve tried to do your advice but it won’t help.

I’m 14 , asian, and i have glasses.

Sometimes, I feel really ugly because i think that i have a very big nose and small eyes && when i’m smiling my nose looks even bigger, i’m always wearing glasses because i look gross without them because i have small eyes. I really need your help. I want know how i can change myself or do something to get a boyfriend.

Hi Mila,

I have never been to Germany, but I assume that there aren’t many Asians where you go to school. With that being said, it is a constant battle for you to gain a sense of self identity.

I can relate to that. Many times throughout elementary, middle school, high school, and college I was the only black chic in the class. In college I had Asian roommates. Many of the times they were foreign exchange students from Korea and Japan. What I learned from my international roommates and friends is that Asian women like all other women, are constantly comparing themselves to other women.

Please, stop doing that. So what you have small eyes? I have small eyes too, and they get even smaller when I smile. Putting glasses on as a shield is not going to make your eyes look any bigger or make your nose appear any smaller.

What you have to do is embrace what God has given you. You can use light make up to make your eyes appear bigger, using eyeshadow and eye liner. You can also choose hairstyles that are flattering to your face.

And no, I do not want to see you change your face. I know we live in the days of plastic surgery and photoshop. So you are comparing yourself to what appears to be beautiful, but it’s just not real.

You are real and more than anything to attract a guy you need to build confidence within yourself. No guy wants to be with a girl who doesn’t have confidence. It is unattractive. So what do you do, stop hiding and embrace who you are. Know that we all have flaws. Nobody is perfect. God made you just the way you are for a reason, and please don’t compare yourself to others. I take the quote from a movie “Why try so hard to fit in, when you were born to stand out.”

I Hope This Help!

Chauntel
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My College Roommates and I

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