My Military Parents Don’t Support My Career Decisions

Grace writes:

Hello Chauntel,

Recently we moved as my family’s in the military. I will be a senior in high school next year and my parents have a certain college in mind for me. The problem is that i don’t want to go there. I know what i want to do for my career but they don’t want to send me to any schools that offer pre-vet classes. I found some decent colleges and prices but they still want me to stay in the state. i have tried several times to show them other options but if i don’t go to a college in this state they will hear none of it. Do you have any advice? Thank you in advance.
Hi Grace,
It is very important to continue to show respect your parents, but when you begin making decisions that are not inline with their plan for you it can become difficult.
However, you have to express how you feel to them. In reality, you are the one who is going to be going to class and doing the work, and once school is over you will be working the job.
It is unfair for your parents to try to force you into a career that you don’t want to do, but trust me you are not the only one who is dealing with this. Our parents invest a lot in our lives, and into our education. Sometimes they do not know where to draw the line.
It is up to you to bring it to their attention, and you must be gentle in your approach. Make sure that they understand that you respect their wishes, but that you have to be the one to make this decision as it is going to affect your life directly. Ask them to respect your wishes. They may not, and if they don’t it is ok. In time they will come around.
What I don’t want you to do, is go to a college or pursue a degree that you don’t want. This would be a waste of your time and money.
What  I want you to do is respectfully decline your parents recommendation, and find a college program that is inline with your career goals and apply there.
I Hope This Helps!
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Choosing a College Major: How Did You Like Psychology?

21-year-old Saleh writes:

Hi Chauntel

How are you? I hope you are doing fine. I hesitated a lot before emailing you because first I have never sought advice from someone online second I think my problems are typical and you have talked about some of them in your videos.

Im a 21 year engineering student this is my first semester and I hate it I am planning to change my major but I do not know to what. I do not know what I really like and want in life.

As far as I know you are a psychology major right? How was that was it easy? I like psychology and I had some major quizzes and personality test online and they say that I should major in psychology my personality type is INFJ

I am alson homosexual and never been in a relationship I lack confidence and self-esteem I hate myself and my life I am so miserable I want to feel love I want someone who likes me the way I am.

Screen Shot 2013-07-02 at 1.58.06 PMHi Saleh,

I am glad that you took the time to email me.

I am doing well thank you. I have been having a lot of fun responding to questions since I graduated from graduate school. It has given me the opportunity to put ideas into action.

Finding out what you like, and want in life takes time. You don’t just wake up one day and instantly know who you are. It takes time. However, you need to play an active role in the process. you should be constantly looking into new things and learning about yourself. Be patient, it will take you time to figure that out.

I assume that you watched my video I made a few years ago on choosing a college major. I therefore, will not repeat everything I said in that video. If you have not seen it, I will paste it below. The gist of it is, take classes in different areas and see what peaks your interest and where you think you could see yourself. Once you have began to narrow down areas of interest by taking classes and personality and career tests go visit a counselor in that department.

They should be able to give you more information on jobs in the field and different areas you can pursue within the field. Very soon, I will also be offering a coaching workshop for this topic.

In the meantime, let me answer the rest of your questions.

Yes, I was a psychology major. I have earned my BA and MA in psychology. Was it easy, no. LOL. Psychology is hard, but I was intrigued by it and stuck with it. To be a psychology major you have to be a good writer, researcher, and reader. You also will learn how to run statistical analysis. Most psychologist are  in the field to help people. There are so many fields of psychology that you can purse. However, if you are thinking of going into this field because you think it’s easy, go in another direction.

Don’t just choose a major because it sounds good. Do so because you actually like it and can see yourself working in the field. Otherwise you are just waisting your time and money. Also, don’t keep changing majors, try to actually figure out what you want to do, then change your major.

When it comes to counselors or advisors, sometimes they care and sometimes they don’t so know your stuff for yourself. And even after taking a career test, ensure that you agree. Don’t just major in something because the career test told you, or because your counselor said their major was the best at the college.

To respond to the last part of your question, before you go looking for someone else to love you. You need to love yourself. That is like saying you want to run before you can crawl. First of all, it is a bad idea, and second it is impossible. It will end badly. I have a video below on how to gain self confidence.

I Hope This Helps!


How to Choose A College Major

16-year-old Rawan writes:

Hello Chauntel!

I am struggling really bad with choosing a college major & there is nobody to help me. My family cares about prestige & heres why I got influenced by them to choose a major thats prestigious! 😦 I got into Law school & then I switched to another university to study Economics. I am so confused I dont know what I want. There are no advisors in my country.

Hello Rawan,

Choosing a college major can be difficult. It is a lot of responsibility to make a decision like this at such a young age when you are still learning who you are as a person.

However, the best way to go about this is select according to what you love to do. Think about what you want to do on a day-to-day basis. Then find out jobs that incorporate your interests. The reality is, it is not about the title. It is about what you are actually doing everyday. Some people have the same title, but work in different industries and therefore have different experiences at work.

Start with what you like to do. Then begin thinking about what you are passionate about. The major will find you.

Let me also advise you. Although, it is important that you are respectful of your family, you are going to be the one going to work everyday. Therefore, you do not want to choose a major for them. You need to choose to do something that you love. Do you know why?

BECAUSE you are going to be the one going to school and suffering through the classes. You are also going to be the one working everyday. You don’t want to walk into a job you hate. If you do you wil hate your life.

You Dig?

I Hope This Helps!


Ps. Check out this video if you haven’t already: