How Can I Change Myself to Get a Boyfriend

14-year-old Mila from Germany writes:

Hey Chauntel!

I have a big problem.

I’m in love in this one guy, but I don’t know how get him to like me.

I’ve seen lots of your videos but i’ve tried to do your advice but it won’t help.

I’m 14 , asian, and i have glasses.

Sometimes, I feel really ugly because i think that i have a very big nose and small eyes && when i’m smiling my nose looks even bigger, i’m always wearing glasses because i look gross without them because i have small eyes. I really need your help. I want know how i can change myself or do something to get a boyfriend.

Hi Mila,

I have never been to Germany, but I assume that there aren’t many Asians where you go to school. With that being said, it is a constant battle for you to gain a sense of self identity.

I can relate to that. Many times throughout elementary, middle school, high school, and college I was the only black chic in the class. In college I had Asian roommates. Many of the times they were foreign exchange students from Korea and Japan. What I learned from my international roommates and friends is that Asian women like all other women, are constantly comparing themselves to other women.

Please, stop doing that. So what you have small eyes? I have small eyes too, and they get even smaller when I smile. Putting glasses on as a shield is not going to make your eyes look any bigger or make your nose appear any smaller.

What you have to do is embrace what God has given you. You can use light make up to make your eyes appear bigger, using eyeshadow and eye liner. You can also choose hairstyles that are flattering to your face.

And no, I do not want to see you change your face. I know we live in the days of plastic surgery and photoshop. So you are comparing yourself to what appears to be beautiful, but it’s just not real.

You are real and more than anything to attract a guy you need to build confidence within yourself. No guy wants to be with a girl who doesn’t have confidence. It is unattractive. So what do you do, stop hiding and embrace who you are. Know that we all have flaws. Nobody is perfect. God made you just the way you are for a reason, and please don’t compare yourself to others. I take the quote from a movie “Why try so hard to fit in, when you were born to stand out.”

I Hope This Help!


My College Roommates and I



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