Tag: wisdom

How to Approach a Guy

Published on by Chauntel Delgado1 Comment

Ana from New York writes:

Hey Chauntel,

I really like this guy, but, I’m very nervous to talk to him. Even on facebook. lol. In person it’s easier, but Facebook, forget it. lol.

 What should I do?
ImageHi Ana,
Men, are pretty simple. They don’t get hints. However, they have big egos and like to take charge.
The problem that most men have when approaching a women is they fear rejection. So…all you have to do is open the door for him. Make it easier for him to converse with you. Don’t take his role, just encourage him along. How do you do that? You achieve this by outwardly flirting with him. You would be surprised what you can do without saying a word. Men aren’t always the best with communicating verbally, but most are pretty clear with physical communication. So, you need to improve on  expressing your emotions through communicating through body language.
First make eye contact. Make sure that he gets it. You should confirm 3 sure glances. Each time smile, with her chin down and your eyes up. If he is away from you wave at him.
Once he approaches you smile, and flick your hair back. Make some small talk, but do it in a hurry. You want to talk to him just long enough for him to be intrigued to get to know more about you. Then, you find a reason for why you have to leave, this creates a sense of urgency.
Follow this up with giving him your number. Let him know that you are looking forward to his call as you enjoyed your conversation. Then, leave. Get out of dodge.
As far as you being scared, or nervous oh well, you have to work through it. You cannot get what you want by hanging in the stands. You have to get in the game and play. That is just the way it is. Be confident and go get yo’ man girl!
I Hope This Helps!
Chauntel
askchauntel@gmail.com

VIDEO: First Date Tips

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=__l1hpXWrRI

What should girls do to get a guy to ask them out. Chauntel sits down with her cousin Avrum and talks about his first date. What should guys do to show a girl a good time? Watch! askchauntel@gmail.com

I Don’t Feel Pretty at All

Published on by Chauntel Delgado1 Comment

Mia The Lost Girl writes:

Dear Chauntel,

I’m in a phase where I don’t think I’m pretty at all, like I’m crap even though how much I wash my face and groom myself, buy fancy clothes etc. If people ask me they said I’m fine. I don’t know why, please help. Thanks.

Image
by adamr

Hello Mia The Lost Girl,

Well one thing that you must know is the clothes don’t make the girl. It is the girl who makes the clothes. So, with that being said, no amount of make up or shopping  can replace a genuine love that you have to find within yourself.

All of the material things aside. I want you to take a moment of appreciation for life. Remember, tomorrow is not promised. You have to live each day as if it was your last. Embrace every fabric of your being and know that you were placed on this earth for a reason. God has a true purpose for your life. If it was not so, you would not be here.

Now, once you have accepted that for what it is you can begin to move forward. Stop trying to use things to make you feel better. Now they don’t say a diamond is a girls best friend for nothing. When we have pretty things we automatically feel pretty, but if that’s all you have it’s for not.

So here is what I want you to do. Strip away all of these things that you think you need to feel pretty. Stand infront of the mirror, and select something about yourself that you are proud of. Focus on that and appreciate. Then, I want you to focus on reversing this negative self talk that you have.

Stop telling yourself how much you don’like you and begin telling yourself over and over that you love you. Everyday, I want you to write down at least 2 things that make you special and unique. If you have to repeat one day that’s ok. More will come. After a months time, I want you to look in the mirror again and see how many beautiful things you like about yourself.

Continue to do this as long as you need to. You my friend are beautiful, and it doesn’t matter how much I or anyone else says it. If you don’t accept it, you will never hear it. So, it is time for you to start making changes. Make your life great. If you don’t then who will?

You are the only one who can change your destiny. Nobody ever said it was easy to be beautiful right? You can do it. I would love to hear how you are doing too!

I Hope This Helps!

Chauntel

http://www.askchauntel.com

askchauntel@gmail.com

How to Choose A College Major

Published on by Chauntel Delgado3 Comments

16-year-old Rawan writes:

Hello Chauntel!

I am struggling really bad with choosing a college major & there is nobody to help me. My family cares about prestige & heres why I got influenced by them to choose a major thats prestigious! 😦 I got into Law school & then I switched to another university to study Economics. I am so confused I dont know what I want. There are no advisors in my country.

Hello Rawan,

Choosing a college major can be difficult. It is a lot of responsibility to make a decision like this at such a young age when you are still learning who you are as a person.

However, the best way to go about this is select according to what you love to do. Think about what you want to do on a day-to-day basis. Then find out jobs that incorporate your interests. The reality is, it is not about the title. It is about what you are actually doing everyday. Some people have the same title, but work in different industries and therefore have different experiences at work.

Start with what you like to do. Then begin thinking about what you are passionate about. The major will find you.

Let me also advise you. Although, it is important that you are respectful of your family, you are going to be the one going to work everyday. Therefore, you do not want to choose a major for them. You need to choose to do something that you love. Do you know why?

BECAUSE you are going to be the one going to school and suffering through the classes. You are also going to be the one working everyday. You don’t want to walk into a job you hate. If you do you wil hate your life.

You Dig?

I Hope This Helps!

Chauntel

askchauntel@gmail.com

http://www.askchauntel.com

Ps. Check out this video if you haven’t already:

How to Get a Guy To text You Back!- Fun Friday

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If a guy isn’t texting what should you do to get him to text back? What should you say?
Watch! askchauntel@gmail.com http://www.askchauntel.com

Article: 5 Tips to Text a Boy/Girl That You Just Met
https://askchauntel.com/2013/02/08/5-tips-on-what-do-you-text-a-boygirl-you-just-met/

Like My Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/pages/Ask-Chauntel/107899835937155?fref=ts

My Boyfriend Doesn’t Trust Me

Published on by Chauntel Delgado1 Comment

Hawa writes:

Hey Chauntel 🙂

So heres the deal, my boyfriend broke up with me 3 weeks ago. I cried my eyes out when he did. He said we fought too much and that the respect was gone.. because i got mad at him one day and took his card and used money on it, he got mad at me for that and said he could ot trust me again.

I think that helped make his choice of breaking up much easier. The day we broke up he told me that i meant alot to him and that i would always had a place in his heart. one week later.. i was just sitting in my room, he suddenly called me, asking ” can i pick you up, and than we can go over to my house” , ” I love you “, and I miss you. But than i came to realize he was drunk.. so i knew he had been to a party and i was afraid that he had been doing something with someone else, so i was crying my eyes out on the phone but i tried to be strong. he kept asking me if everything was ok. 30 minutes later he showed up at my house telling me how much he loves me and i am the most important person to him, and ill always be his girl..he for the first time said “I LOVE YOU”

I was shocked. did not know if i should be happy or sad, the fact that he said it when he was drunk. I invited him in.. he slept till the next day. I thounght he didn’t remember anything, but when he woke up he said he remembered everything. Then he left he asked me if i wanted to join the beach later with him. I said yes, but that did not happen because when he went home he slept and later his friends came over, and the weather was not very good soo.

It sound like he was having fun when i called him, it kills me inside to know that his is having fun and i am the one hurting. Am i selfish for feeling like that… 2 days later i called him and he was going to a party again.. he parties almost every weekend these days, he never did that when we where together. I was the one doing the partying. So the fact that hes out having fun makes me think hes missed doing “fun things”, and that hes trying to get over me faster than he should, that hurts me.

We talked for 5 minutes and he had to go, i said to him that i love him, and he said he loved me too. since than i have not spoken to him about.. the night him came to my place… i mean should i ask him if he ment ” i LOVE YOU” I dont know what to do .. i cry my self to sleep almost every night. I love him and i want to be with him. Why cant everything between us be dealt with… isn’t that how love is suppose to be…
Hello Hawa,
No, this is not how love is suppose to be. The main issue that you all are having in your relationship is you all don’t have trust.
A solid relationship is built on trust and good communication. He does not trust you, and you do not trust him. Yes, it is selfish of you to not want him to go out and have fun, but it is only normal for you to feel that way. You don’t want him to go on without you and the thought of that hurts. This relationship is unstable and it cannot continue this way. If you want this to work you too are going Ro have to build trust in your relationship.I Hope This Helps!Chauntel

Www.askchauntel.com
Askchauntel@gmail.com

Is He Using Me for My Friend?

Published on by Chauntel Delgado1 Comment

15-year-old Beth from England writes:

Hello Chauntel!

I’m a massive fan of your channel, I love it! and i find everything so useful and always cheers me up! 🙂

I need your advise on a few things because I have 3 older brothers and no mum so never get any advise, so I always look to you as a big sister 🙂 I like this boy, but he use to fancy my friends, so he became friends with me so he could spend more time with my friend who I fancied, this happened twice and I’m not sure if he likes me as a friend or just using me? cos I really like him, what should I do???

and I also like this guy who lives 5 hours away from me and its really hard, we skype every week but I miss him always cheering me up, what should I do? and I’m always feed up as guys fancying me when they meet me but not when I get to know them cos I’m out going and stuff, should I change myself?

well I hope you can help,
from your little sister
Beth 🙂
xxxxxxxxxx

teens by imagerymajestic
by imagerymajestic

Hello Little Sister Beth 🙂

I am so glad that my videos have been helpful to you. I hope they continue to be so. I am sorry that you do not have a mom. I like how you say it better though, mum. However, I am glad that in-spite of all of that, you are a strong beautiful young women and God has allowed us to cross paths.

With that said, it would take a lot of energy for this guy to use you simply to get to your friend. However, people do this sort of thing all the time. I wouldn’t worry about it too much. Just keep your eye on him to see if he is just keeping a relationship with you to keep her around. If you feel that way you should just talk to him about it. Friends should talk these things through, that’s how friendships get stronger.

As for the guy who lives far away, it sounds like you all are building a great friendship and that is wonderful. However, I wouldn’t worry too much about trying to be boyfriend and girlfriend with him. You are so young, and a long distance relationship at your age just doesn’t quite make sense.

However, keep your friendship and who knows what will happen in the future.

As, for changing yourself. If you watch my videos you know better than to ask this question. You are beautiful just the way you are. Nothing, and no one should try to change that. The second a guy does, you drop him. You deserve to be loved for who you are, and if you don’t who else will?

I Hope This Helps!

Chauntel

http://www.askchauntel.com

askchauntel@gmail.com

Am I in An Abusive Relationship

Published on by Chauntel DelgadoLeave a comment

Heather writes:

Hi Chauntel,

I need to know if im in a abusive relationship can u help me?
when me nd my partner first met he bought me fowers chocolate nd put money into my bank account all the time, but since he has moved house with his friend he has changed, when we argue he grabbes me by my throught nd puts me on the floor nd drags me, he has never punched me or anything like that, he says he does it because he feel threatened when we argue he feels like im going to hit him when im not it has happened on 4 diffrent occasions, but last we we had an argument nd he threw me on the floor and opened the car door which hit me in the head then dragged me nd pushed me for about 20 mins then put me on the floor again then put me on the floor again after that nd screaming at me whilst im shoved in the corner nd his friend grabbed me by the throught but when he put me to the floor he grabbed me by the throught everytime, he done this because i asked for my car back that i lent him nd now he is refusing to giv it back because he had to replace the clutch,, i dont know weather to leave him or not, but now i finch at him and im scared to speak my opinion incase he gets angry but when he doesnt do this sort of thing hes really nice too me,, i really dont know what to do,, please help,,, thankyou
 

How Can I Change Myself to Get a Boyfriend

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14-year-old Mila from Germany writes:

Hey Chauntel!

I have a big problem.

I’m in love in this one guy, but I don’t know how get him to like me.

I’ve seen lots of your videos but i’ve tried to do your advice but it won’t help.

I’m 14 , asian, and i have glasses.

Sometimes, I feel really ugly because i think that i have a very big nose and small eyes && when i’m smiling my nose looks even bigger, i’m always wearing glasses because i look gross without them because i have small eyes. I really need your help. I want know how i can change myself or do something to get a boyfriend.

Hi Mila,

I have never been to Germany, but I assume that there aren’t many Asians where you go to school. With that being said, it is a constant battle for you to gain a sense of self identity.

I can relate to that. Many times throughout elementary, middle school, high school, and college I was the only black chic in the class. In college I had Asian roommates. Many of the times they were foreign exchange students from Korea and Japan. What I learned from my international roommates and friends is that Asian women like all other women, are constantly comparing themselves to other women.

Please, stop doing that. So what you have small eyes? I have small eyes too, and they get even smaller when I smile. Putting glasses on as a shield is not going to make your eyes look any bigger or make your nose appear any smaller.

What you have to do is embrace what God has given you. You can use light make up to make your eyes appear bigger, using eyeshadow and eye liner. You can also choose hairstyles that are flattering to your face.

And no, I do not want to see you change your face. I know we live in the days of plastic surgery and photoshop. So you are comparing yourself to what appears to be beautiful, but it’s just not real.

You are real and more than anything to attract a guy you need to build confidence within yourself. No guy wants to be with a girl who doesn’t have confidence. It is unattractive. So what do you do, stop hiding and embrace who you are. Know that we all have flaws. Nobody is perfect. God made you just the way you are for a reason, and please don’t compare yourself to others. I take the quote from a movie “Why try so hard to fit in, when you were born to stand out.”

I Hope This Help!

Chauntel
Askchauntel@gmail.com
Www.askchauntel.con

My College Roommates and I

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Like My Facebook Page

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ImageHey guys!

I need some facebook love. Would you be a doll and click the like button?

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-Chauntel