Tag: help

How To Make a Friend a Boyfriend

Published on by Chauntel Delgado1 Comment

7th grader Allie from Kansas writes:

Hi Chauntel,

Ok well I have a good friendship with this guy, and I am 2 afraid 2 ask him out.  Everyone says that he likes me, but i am so afraid that he will say no. What should i do? Please help me!!!!!!

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by Stock Images

Hi Allie,

Well, you have already followed my advice and took the first step which is building a friendship with him. I am so proud of you!

Now what you have to do is gather the courage within yourself to ask him out.

I know this is a scary thing to do, but love is worth the risk. If he says no, it will be ok. It will hurt a little, but after you get through the pain you will be glad you did it because it will give you piece of mind to know one way or the other.

But you also have to consider the benefits of him saying yes, you will finally have a chance at love with your crush.

When you start off the conversation just let him know how you are glad that you all have become friends. You can then explain why if you like, but you don’t have to. Then let him know that you are interested in getting to know him as more than friends, and you were wondering if he felt the same way. Wait for his response. (This is the hard part.)

Then, if he says he’d rather stay friends, take it like a champ. Smile and say ok, and let him know that you understand and that you are glad you can still be friends.

If he says yes, then go girl! Good for you.

By the way. I have a video on this topic that you might find helpful:

 

I Hope This Helps!

Chauntel

email questions to askchauntel@gmail.com

http://www.askchantel.com

5 Simple Ways to Make Your Husband Smile….at YOU! – Marriage Mondays

Published on by Chauntel Delgado3 Comments

Hey Ladies,

If you’d rather keep him smiling instead of frowning and fightin’, you might want to consider these tips.

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by photostock

1. Take Time to Listen: As women, we sometimes get so caught up in ourselves that we sometimes forget to take a moment to listen to what our mate is saying. He may not repeat it a million times like we do, but if he said it then he must have meant it. So consider his feelings and make sure that he understands that they matter.

2. Make Him Feel Loved: Amidst the hustle and bustle of the day, we can forget the little things that he sometimes requests. Try to find 3 of those things that you can add to your week. Trust me he will notice. 

3. Be Attentive: When he talks about his hobbies that you don’t care too much about actually pay attention, and give a comment that isn’t snarky. Take the time to enjoy the conversation and even add to it. He mostly just wants to share with you, but he would love it if you actually cared about it.

4. Encourage Him: Men always want a woman who can add light to their life. If he mentions a new idea, or even an old one. Smile and if it’s not something that’s going to harm him in anyway encourage him and support his decisions.

5. Cook For Him: Ahhhh, you knew this was coming. Whether or not a man can cook, he always loves it when his lady does it for him. If you don’t know how learn.

If you do this right you will keep him around for a long time. ‘Cause guess what? It’s nice to be nice. 🙂 

Email questions to askchauntel@gmail.com

Domestic Violence and I have 2 Kids

Published on by Chauntel Delgado1 Comment

32-year-old Lesley writes:

Dear Chauntel,

I have 2 children their father passed away. I started dating 2 years ago a year back he started telling what to do, where to go where i can not go. And when i did not listen to his commands, he started beating and i kept quiet and he will tell me the next day that he did not mean to hurt me.

But now it is happening each and every week that i cannot attend church services coz im seeing other men.

Please help what do I do? I cant sleep at night  i wish that i could be around people all the time. My self esteem is so down. I feel useless.

by ambro domestic violenceDear Lesley,

It is difficult when you loose someone you love. Sometimes relationships like the one that you are in come into your life and become unbearable. I understand that you are in love with this man by the simple fact that you are still with him.

If not for your own life, you have been blessed with the gift of children, and for this reason you have to get out of this situation. This man does not mean any good to you. And it’s horrible to put your children through this. They do not need to see their mother being abused. It will tear them up inside.

I understand that you are in a controlling, abusive, and extremely dangerous situation. If he is controlling you to the point where you cannot even go to church you are going to have to get out soon. Make an excuse to leave the house and take the kids with you. Even if it is just the grocery store. Don’t take anything. That is not important. Take what is absolutely necessary and get out. There are women’s shelters that you can go to that will provide you with everything you need to start over.

This is a very unfortunate situation, and I will be praying for you. You need to seek help and support. Don’t try to do this alone. You may even consider reporting this to the police as soon as possible.

If you don’t get out of this situation your children will suffer. I am not sure of local agencies where you are, but if you visit http://www.domesticviolence.org they should be able to direct you to the services that you need.

Be Blessed and thanks for writing.

Chauntel

email questions to askchauntel@gmail.com

http://www.askchauntel.com

12 Things You Should Say on a First Date – Fun Fridays

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New Video: What Attracts a Guy to a Girl – Ask Chauntel Radio

Published on by Chauntel Delgado2 Comments

We are all searching for someone to love. Love is the one thing that we are all in pursuit of. Embrace it, let’s talk about it. Do you have a question? Feel free to call in during the live broadcast or submt to askchauntel@gmail.com. Check out our website http://www.askchauntel.com

askchauntel@gmail.com
http://www.askchauntel.com
@askchauntel

Radio Show Link: Thursdays at 3pm PCT
http://www.blogtalkradio.com/askchauntel/2013/07/11/dating-and-relationship-advice-from-ask-chauntel

Guest Call in Number: (646) 929-1389

Call and Leave Chauntel a Voicemail
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My Military Parents Don’t Support My Career Decisions

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Grace writes:

Hello Chauntel,

Recently we moved as my family’s in the military. I will be a senior in high school next year and my parents have a certain college in mind for me. The problem is that i don’t want to go there. I know what i want to do for my career but they don’t want to send me to any schools that offer pre-vet classes. I found some decent colleges and prices but they still want me to stay in the state. i have tried several times to show them other options but if i don’t go to a college in this state they will hear none of it. Do you have any advice? Thank you in advance.
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Hi Grace,
It is very important to continue to show respect your parents, but when you begin making decisions that are not inline with their plan for you it can become difficult.
However, you have to express how you feel to them. In reality, you are the one who is going to be going to class and doing the work, and once school is over you will be working the job.
It is unfair for your parents to try to force you into a career that you don’t want to do, but trust me you are not the only one who is dealing with this. Our parents invest a lot in our lives, and into our education. Sometimes they do not know where to draw the line.
It is up to you to bring it to their attention, and you must be gentle in your approach. Make sure that they understand that you respect their wishes, but that you have to be the one to make this decision as it is going to affect your life directly. Ask them to respect your wishes. They may not, and if they don’t it is ok. In time they will come around.
What I don’t want you to do, is go to a college or pursue a degree that you don’t want. This would be a waste of your time and money.
What  I want you to do is respectfully decline your parents recommendation, and find a college program that is inline with your career goals and apply there.
I Hope This Helps!
Chauntel
email questions to askchauntel@gmail.com

34 and Tired of Online Dating

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34-year-old Farzan from Sweden writes:

Hello Chauntel! I have a question and this is easier to ask a woman than a man.

When it comes to internet dating I know what to do, and I have meet many women different ages without problem. But im soo tired of internet and im seeing soo many women looking at me when im outside, at the bus stop, in a caffe and so on. My question is what to DO when a woman stares at u time to time. Im not blind, i know the look, im only shy 🙂 If u can give me few tip i can take it from there. I see sooooo many women look at me and i cant respond and i want to bang my head to a wall of being this shy.

 

computer Hi Farzan,

Women who continue to make eye contact with you are trying to signal to you that they are interested and waiting for you to approach them. I know this can seem odd, or even awkard for most men because guys don’t usually read body language as well as women.

It is just in our nature to send you a signal and wait for you to send one back. The problem with this is that signals can get mixed up and confused at times. So, if you see a women looking your way on a constant basis who slips you a smile, it might be safe to say that she is interested and trying to get your attention. It’s just a subtle way of flirting. So…how do you respond to this, right? I know that is what you were thinking.

You smile back making eye contact then you approach her. Say hello, introduce yourself, and start up a conversation. From there follow up with asking for her number because you enjoyed the conversation. If she is interested, she will comply and slip you her digits. If not, well she might have just been being friendly when she slipped you that smile, but it is definitely worth a try. It beats waiting at your computer glaring at your online dating profile.

Not to say that they don’t work for some, but it is not for everyone. If you don’t like it then don’t do it. Just get out more. Get around people, meet your friends friends. Go where women are, then you will have more to choose from. It is time to get out of your routine. Move away from your bubble so that you can begin meeting more women.

I Hope This Helps,

Chauntel

email questions to askchauntel@gmail.com

http://www.askchauntel.com

Ask Chauntel Radio Starts Today at 3pm PCT

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This Weeks Topic: What attracts a guy to a girl?

We are all searching for someone to love. Love is the one thing that we are all in pursuit of. Embrace it, let’s talk about it. Do you have a question? Feel free to call in during the live broadcast or submt to askchauntel@gmail.com. Check out our website www.askchauntel.com

Here is the Link to the show:
http://www.blogtalkradio.com/askchauntel/2013/07/11/dating-and-relationship-advice-from-ask-chauntel

Here is the Call in Number:
Call in to speak with the host: (646) 929-1389

You Can Also Tweet a Question to @askchauntel
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The Chase- How to Keep the Guy – Dating Advice

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Chauntel explains what women should do to keep a guys interest. Is it playing hard to get? Is it the chase? Watch!
askchauntel@gmail.com
http://www.askchauntel.com
@askchauntel

Radio Show Link: Thursdays at 3pm PCT
http://www.blogtalkradio.com/askchauntel/2013/07/11/dating-and-relationship-advice-from-ask-chauntel

Guest Call in Number: (646) 929-1389

Call and Leave Chauntel a Voicemail
(641) 715-3900 ext 10988

Being Bullied and Insecure About Myself

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14-year-old Nancy writes:

Hi Chauntel!

So I’m watching your videos right now and I thought it is a good idea to write an email to you.
It’s not going to be an email about boys or something like that. It’s about me and my self-esteem.
When I look at the mirror I don’t see anything bad. But people in my school are bully me because
of my large and bulging (REALLY bulging) eyes. I’m only 14 and I can’t deal with it. What should I do?
Hi Nancy,
It’s funny that it’s your eyes that you point out because I have just the opposite problem. My eyes are so small. When I smile they almost completely go away. In fact when I was a baby my family asked my mom if she was sure that she had taken home the right baby because they thought I looked Chinese.
The reality is, we all have something about ourselves that Make us stand out. However, God made us just the way we are for a specific purpose. Lucky for me I was able to see your picture when you wrote in. What the kids at school don’t know or quite understand is that your beauty is in your eyes.
After reading your question I took a look at your photo, and let me tell you those eyes of yours could take you far in modeling. I am not sure how tall you are, but if you are at leastt 5’9″ you should really consider high fashion modeling. Here is an excellent resource that I found: http:http://www.exploremodeling.com/ If you are not that tall, not to worry they’re are other areas of modeling. However, don’t go into that unless you develop thick skin. I just wanted to mention this to you as an option because I think you’re beautiful and you should give it a try.
Now to address your question specifically, what do you do? You take what they say with a grain of salt. Kids at school are always gonna find something mean to say about each other. It was like that for me, and it is going to be like that for you. If you embrace your beautiful eyes they will eventually leave you alone about it. The only reason they continue to tease you is they know that they are getting to you. If you truly begin to love your eyes, and let what they say role off your sleeve they will notice your confidence and hopefully buzz off.
I was never good with coming up with ways to talk back to people so I would just ignore them or walk away. I know it really hurts. but this is only for a season. It gets better, and once your modeling they will make fun of you because of their jealousy.
So what’s the moral of the story here? People talk, ignore them. You choose your destiny not them. You have the power to wake up every morning and love what you see in the mirror.
By the way here are some successful models with eyes like yours (:
Google both of them. You will see how much of a splash they have made in history, past and present.