Chauntel shares tips on what you should think about when selecting your outfit for a first date. What should you wear for what occasion. What should you consider? Watch!
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Author: Chauntel Delgado
Hi I'm Chauntel, a small town girl with a big heart who knows the value of loving God and her family.
I produce relationship advice and natural mommy videos on YouTube. I also coach and train mompreneurs to build a brand that matters so that they can do more of what they love using the YouTube platform.
The world is so beautiful so we should appreciate every second that God has given to us! Peace and Love! Connect with me! @askchauntel
Email Advice Column questions to askchauntel@gmail.com
The Law of Attraction
14-year-old Nick writes:
Hey Chauntel, I just watched your video on how to approach a girl and stuff like that…. But my situation is a little bit tougher.. I’m 14, I just started high school this year and I noticed this girl kind of right off the bat as soon as I saw her she immediately drew my attention but I cannot get enough courage to talk to her everytime I try I get all nervous start to blush I get butterflies my mind goes all crazy so I back out and just not talk to her. I’ve never talked to this girl before bc of that reason and it’s almost the end of the school year and I’ve never said a word to her. What’s your advice on how to approach her for the first time without making me look like a fool and I can give her a good first impression on how I am?? And I guess I’m kind of pessimistic about this situation bc I doubt my chances of ever being able to date her when the time presents itself and I always think I’m not good enough and my looks aren’t good enough and I don’t wanna wait too long bc she could get swept up by another guy and I don’t want that /: so please if you could answer back with some advice on this situation ASAP it would help me soooo much (: hope to hear back soon!
Hi Nick,
Have you heard of the Law of Attraction? The gist of it is, if you think negatively you will attract negativity. So, if you keep thinking that you have a small chance to attract her, guess what you do.
So what I need you to do is stop thinking of yourself as never getting a chance with her, but start believing that she would be happy to have you.
If you step to a girl without confidence she is not going to take you seriously, and she will not be attracted to you. Also, this is not about putting on a show. All you have to do is be yourself.
As far as your looks go, although I am not sure how you look I want you to know in most cases it really doesn’t matter. I mean face it. Haven’t you seen plenty of beautiful girls with not so hot guys. Do you know why? It is because those girls are attracted to those guys based on that guys confidence. This is not to say that you are not attractive ok.
So moving on. What you need is a game plan. I don’t mean that you need to memorize how the conversation is going to go word for word. If you do that and it doesn’t go the way you planned you will choke.
Here is how you approach her: Walk up to her and say hello. Introduce yourself. Let her introduce herself. Then, give her a compliment. Then have small talk. It could be about anything.
Then create a sense of urgency. Make up an excuse as to why you have to go, or simply tell her that you have enjoyed talking to her, and you would like to get to know her better. This is the time that you ask her for her number. Then you tell her you will talk to her later, and off you go. Whatever you do, stop this negative self talk and believe in yourself. You will be glad you did.
Now, once you have done that you have approached her, and you have left a good thought in her mind of you. Need some help with the next conversation? I have a video for that:
I Hope This Helps!
Chauntel
My Crush is Ignoring Me…What Should I Do?
Carmen writes,
Dear Chauntel,
I have a huge problem and I decided to ask you for help. So I went out with my crush and everything was great he told me that he likes me, I told him that I like him too. Then he was begging me to kiss him so I kissed him. We talked and he told me that he wants us to go slow I said ok. He told me that he had a wonderful time with me. I saw him 5 days after out date, he was with his friends and he didn’t even say hi to me! Then I texted him, and he didn’t answer. What should I do??? please help!
Hi Carmen,
Lets not jump to conclusions. It is possible that he did not see you. If you texted him while he was out with his friends he might have overlooked it.
Now, if a few days go by and you still get no communication from him, he is not into you. It is possible that he is not ready to introduce you to his friends. That could mean many different things.
1. He may not know you well enough yet.
2. He is embarrassed of you for some reason or another.
Here is what I would do in your situation. I would wait it out a couple of days. Don’t call him, text him, facebook him, nothing. If he hasn’t hit you up in a few days text him:
“Hey, how are you?”
See if he replies. If he does follow-up with:
“I really enjoyed hangin’ out the other day.”
If he replies, follow up with:
“I was out (wherever it was) the other day, and I saw you out with your friends. I was (explain what you were doing)”
Then see what he responds with. He may play it off like he didn’t see you. Or he may be honest and tell you that he did see you and explain himself. You don’t even have to ask, but I would NOT accuse him of ignoring you. It is too soon for all of that.
Then, invite him out to do something. See if he is into it. That should give you and idea of where his head is. If he is responsive, then great don’t worry about that little drama. However, if you are still concerned about it just keep an eye on him.
If he takes too long to introduce you to his friends, then something is up. However, it is too soon for you to be concerned. Cool?
I Hope This Helps!
Chauntel
email questions to: askchauntel@gmail.com
Re to BubzBeauty: How to Get a Guy to Like You
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Choosing a College Major: How Did You Like Psychology?
21-year-old Saleh writes:
Hi Chauntel
How are you? I hope you are doing fine. I hesitated a lot before emailing you because first I have never sought advice from someone online second I think my problems are typical and you have talked about some of them in your videos.
Im a 21 year engineering student this is my first semester and I hate it I am planning to change my major but I do not know to what. I do not know what I really like and want in life.
As far as I know you are a psychology major right? How was that was it easy? I like psychology and I had some major quizzes and personality test online and they say that I should major in psychology my personality type is INFJ
I am alson homosexual and never been in a relationship I lack confidence and self-esteem I hate myself and my life I am so miserable I want to feel love I want someone who likes me the way I am.
Hi Saleh,
I am glad that you took the time to email me.
I am doing well thank you. I have been having a lot of fun responding to questions since I graduated from graduate school. It has given me the opportunity to put ideas into action.
Finding out what you like, and want in life takes time. You don’t just wake up one day and instantly know who you are. It takes time. However, you need to play an active role in the process. you should be constantly looking into new things and learning about yourself. Be patient, it will take you time to figure that out.
I assume that you watched my video I made a few years ago on choosing a college major. I therefore, will not repeat everything I said in that video. If you have not seen it, I will paste it below. The gist of it is, take classes in different areas and see what peaks your interest and where you think you could see yourself. Once you have began to narrow down areas of interest by taking classes and personality and career tests go visit a counselor in that department.
They should be able to give you more information on jobs in the field and different areas you can pursue within the field. Very soon, I will also be offering a coaching workshop for this topic.
In the meantime, let me answer the rest of your questions.
Yes, I was a psychology major. I have earned my BA and MA in psychology. Was it easy, no. LOL. Psychology is hard, but I was intrigued by it and stuck with it. To be a psychology major you have to be a good writer, researcher, and reader. You also will learn how to run statistical analysis. Most psychologist are in the field to help people. There are so many fields of psychology that you can purse. However, if you are thinking of going into this field because you think it’s easy, go in another direction.
Don’t just choose a major because it sounds good. Do so because you actually like it and can see yourself working in the field. Otherwise you are just waisting your time and money. Also, don’t keep changing majors, try to actually figure out what you want to do, then change your major.
When it comes to counselors or advisors, sometimes they care and sometimes they don’t so know your stuff for yourself. And even after taking a career test, ensure that you agree. Don’t just major in something because the career test told you, or because your counselor said their major was the best at the college.
To respond to the last part of your question, before you go looking for someone else to love you. You need to love yourself. That is like saying you want to run before you can crawl. First of all, it is a bad idea, and second it is impossible. It will end badly. I have a video below on how to gain self confidence.
I Hope This Helps!
Chauntel
askchauntel@gmail.com
Am I His Bootycall?
21-year-old Alia writes:
Hi Chauntel!
I have been a fan of your YouTube channel for quite a while now 🙂 Please Chauntel, I need your help.
A few weeks ago, me and a few of my friends went out clubbing. We were all just having a fun night out. That night, I bumped into one of my school mates from High School. We had a little chat and he asked me to dance with him, so I did. After dancing for quite some time, we chilled had a few drinks and he flirted and he tried to kiss me but I pushed him away. But we still hung around each other later on. Much later he accompanied me to send my friend back home.
Meanwhile, my friend was drunk and passed out in the car. So, I called for backup from my other friends. While they were on their way, me and him talked for quite a while and while we were talking he held me and wrapped his arms around me. He also mentioned that I looked “sexy” and that I’m “wild” compared to when I was in High School. The flirting was nice, I enjoyed it to be honest.
After helping my drunk friend, he sent me back home. He gave a kiss on the cheek but somehow I felt like we should kiss. So, I gave him the signal and we did.
The next day, he texted me asking me whether or not I’m busy later to get “busy” with him. But I just ignored it. And so we kept on talking for the next 3 days. During those 3 days, he insist on having sex with me and asked me for a “picture” of myself. In which, I did give him to be honest. But I wasn’t naked, I still had my underwear on. I don’t know, maybe at that time I just wanted to tease him. See what he does. However on the last day, we decided to meet up for coffee. We talked and he told me he’s leaving for a weekend vacation and mentioned that he wants a piece of me when he gets back.
While he’s on vacation, we never contacted each other. I also didn’t try to do anything cause I didn’t want to seem desperate or needy and give him space. But when he did get back, he never tried to get in touch with me. So, I wondered why. The next few days, I texted him to see how he was doing. He replied. Had a little chat. Then we hardly spoke for the next few weeks. I didn’t call or text nor did he.
However, 2 weeks ago, I thought I got into contact with him. I asked him what he’s doing. He said “Nothing, just chilling at home”. I asked “I’ll be having drinks with my friends at some bar if you wanna join”. He said he’ll think about it. But he also mentioned that he’s going on a trip the next morning with his friends, so I said “Its okay”. And we didn’t talk for the next few days.
Last week Thursday, he texted me seeing what am I up to. I said I was chilling with my girlfriends and he said he just got back from the trip. And we spoke a little, he said goodnight as did I. I didn’t hear from him on Friday and on Saturday. Nor did I try to do anything about it. So, on sunday, I texted him “Hey” and he hasn’t replied since.
HELP ME CHAUNTEL! Please. I don’t know what to do plus I’m also confused at times. Your advice is much appreciated. Thanks 🙂
photo courtesy of adamr
Hi Alia,
This guy is not interested in you. He is just using you for sexual favors.
I feel that you are looking for a relationship, and he is not. He is looking for someone to sleep with. It’s best for you to let this guy go and find someone who is on the same level as him of looking for a sexmate. That is not you.
You must be patient to find a guy who is also interested in a relationship. This guy will only end up hurting and disappointing you. You dig?
I Hope This Helps!
Chauntel
askchauntel@gmail.com
How to Make White Rice Easily – Cooking with Chauntel
Learn how to make white rice with ease. White rice is a staple in the kitchen, and you must learn how to cook it well. Let Chauntel help you. http://www.chaunteldelgado.com
How to Make Chinese Chicken Stir Fry – Cooking with Chauntel
Learn how to season and make chicken. Add in Bok Choy and carrots, and fry the rice. What’s a healthier way to fry the rice without a lot of oil. http://www.chaunteldelgado.com, askchauntel@gmail.com
What to do if a guy doesn’t like you?
13-year-old Claire writes:
Hi Chauntel,
There is this boy i have liked since second grade and i can not even explain how much i want to just hug him. i have asked him many times if he would ever go out with me and my friends have asked him also, but he always says no……. I cry every time 😦 i just want to know how to get him to go out with me and there is a big dance next year and my only dream is to go with him to the dance.. but i am trying to gain self confidence but i think i am still ugly… i am the kinda girl who plays softball and volleyball and where my hair up almost everyday… i kinda think he likes me but would be embarrassed to go out with me because of his friends but he also texts me and talks to me on the phone and we tell each other almost everything so please help me………… you can just answer by emailing me back…. p.s. i am the one in the white shirt…
Hi Claire,
You cannot force this guy to like you. In fact, if he was honest and let you know that he was not interested you should have let it go. I know it is not an easy thing to do, but if you don’t you will just be annoying him and making yourself more upset. So, just let this one go. You will find another crush who will like you back!
I Hope This Helps!
Chauntel
askchauntel@gmail.com
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