I Want Out of My Relationship

Darrah writes,
Hi Chauntel!
I’ve had dreams about me kissing my friend,  but I’ve got a boyfriend. I do feel for my friend, but not in a love way. It’s happened a couple of times and maybe its because I’ve been unsure.
If I want to break up with him because I never see him, and he’s not good at the long distance thing. I live in Aberdare in Wales, and he lives in Newport about and hour and 45 minute drive so can you give me any help.
Hi Darrah,
When you dream it’s your unconscious coming to light. However, conscious or not you have already made it clear that you are ready to let go of your boyfriend.
The distance doesn’t make this any easier. There is no need to drag this out, whether or not you have feelings for your friend, if you want to let go of the realtionship you are in then you have to be brave and do it.
It is not fair to either you or your boyfriend to stay in this relationship if you do not have true feelings for him. So you have to be honest with him, and let him know how you feel, honestly and truly. You can do it. Just pick the appropriate place and time. I hope that you can do this in person. Try to wait until you see him before you break the news.
I Hope This Helps!
Email questions to askchauntel@gmail.com

Am I His Bootycall?

21-year-old Alia writes:

Hi Chauntel!

I have been a fan of your YouTube channel for quite a while now 🙂 Please Chauntel, I need your help.

A few weeks ago, me and a few of my friends went out clubbing. We were all just having a fun night out. That night, I bumped into one of my school mates from High School. We had a little chat and he asked me to dance with him, so I did. After dancing for quite some time, we chilled had a few drinks and he flirted and he tried to kiss me but I pushed him away. But we still hung around each other later on. Much later he accompanied me to send my friend back home.
Meanwhile, my friend was drunk and passed out in the car. So, I called for backup from my other friends. While they were on their way, me and him talked for quite a while and while we were talking he held me and wrapped his arms around me. He also mentioned that I looked “sexy” and that I’m “wild” compared to when I was in High School. The flirting was nice, I enjoyed it to be honest.
After helping my drunk friend, he sent me back home. He gave a kiss on the cheek but somehow I felt like we should kiss. So, I gave him the signal and we did.
The next day, he texted me asking me whether or not I’m busy later to get “busy” with him. But I just ignored it. And so we kept on talking for the next 3 days. During those 3 days, he insist on having sex with me and asked me for a “picture” of myself. In which, I did give him to be honest. But I wasn’t naked, I still had my underwear on. I don’t know, maybe at that time I just wanted to tease him. See what he does. However on the last day, we decided to meet up for coffee. We talked and he told me he’s leaving for a weekend vacation and mentioned that he wants a piece of me when he gets back.
While he’s on vacation, we never contacted each other. I also didn’t try to do anything cause I didn’t want to seem desperate or needy and give him space. But when he did get back, he never tried to get in touch with me. So, I wondered why. The next few days, I texted him to see how he was doing. He replied. Had a little chat. Then we hardly spoke for the next few weeks. I didn’t call or text nor did he.
However, 2 weeks ago, I thought I got into contact with him. I asked him what he’s doing. He said “Nothing, just chilling at home”. I asked “I’ll be having drinks with my friends at some bar if you wanna join”. He said he’ll think about it. But he also mentioned that he’s going on a trip the next morning with his friends, so I said “Its okay”. And we didn’t talk for the next few days.
Last week Thursday, he texted me seeing what am I up to. I said I was chilling with my girlfriends and he said he just got back from the trip. And we spoke a little, he said goodnight as did I. I didn’t hear from him on Friday and on Saturday. Nor did I try to do anything about it. So, on sunday, I texted him “Hey” and he hasn’t replied since.
HELP ME CHAUNTEL! Please. I don’t know what to do plus I’m also confused at times. Your advice is much appreciated. Thanks 🙂
womens legs by adam
photo courtesy of adamr
Hi Alia,
This guy is not interested in you. He is just using you for sexual favors.
I feel that you are looking for a relationship, and he is not. He is looking for someone to sleep with. It’s best for you to let this guy go and find someone who is on the same level as him of looking for a sexmate. That is not you.
You must be patient to find a guy who is also interested in a relationship. This guy will only end up hurting and disappointing you. You dig?
I Hope This Helps!