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This weeks topic is: How should a girl show that she is interested? Vote
Hey Chauntel, I just watched your video on how to approach a girl and stuff like that…. But my situation is a little bit tougher.. I’m 14, I just started high school this year and I noticed this girl kind of right off the bat as soon as I saw her she immediately drew my attention but I cannot get enough courage to talk to her everytime I try I get all nervous start to blush I get butterflies my mind goes all crazy so I back out and just not talk to her. I’ve never talked to this girl before bc of that reason and it’s almost the end of the school year and I’ve never said a word to her. What’s your advice on how to approach her for the first time without making me look like a fool and I can give her a good first impression on how I am?? And I guess I’m kind of pessimistic about this situation bc I doubt my chances of ever being able to date her when the time presents itself and I always think I’m not good enough and my looks aren’t good enough and I don’t wanna wait too long bc she could get swept up by another guy and I don’t want that /: so please if you could answer back with some advice on this situation ASAP it would help me soooo much (: hope to hear back soon!
Hi Nick,
Have you heard of the Law of Attraction? The gist of it is, if you think negatively you will attract negativity. So, if you keep thinking that you have a small chance to attract her, guess what you do.
So what I need you to do is stop thinking of yourself as never getting a chance with her, but start believing that she would be happy to have you.
If you step to a girl without confidence she is not going to take you seriously, and she will not be attracted to you. Also, this is not about putting on a show. All you have to do is be yourself.
As far as your looks go, although I am not sure how you look I want you to know in most cases it really doesn’t matter. I mean face it. Haven’t you seen plenty of beautiful girls with not so hot guys. Do you know why? It is because those girls are attracted to those guys based on that guys confidence. This is not to say that you are not attractive ok.
So moving on. What you need is a game plan. I don’t mean that you need to memorize how the conversation is going to go word for word. If you do that and it doesn’t go the way you planned you will choke.
Here is how you approach her: Walk up to her and say hello. Introduce yourself. Let her introduce herself. Then, give her a compliment. Then have small talk. It could be about anything.
Then create a sense of urgency. Make up an excuse as to why you have to go, or simply tell her that you have enjoyed talking to her, and you would like to get to know her better. This is the time that you ask her for her number. Then you tell her you will talk to her later, and off you go. Whatever you do, stop this negative self talk and believe in yourself. You will be glad you did.
Now, once you have done that you have approached her, and you have left a good thought in her mind of you. Need some help with the next conversation? I have a video for that:
Is there a guy that you are into, and you want to get his attention? Are you wondering what to do to get him to like you? Chauntel responds to Bubzbeauty’s video on How to Get a Guy to Like You! Watch! http://www.askchauntel.comaskchauntel@gmail.com
How are you? I hope you are doing fine. I hesitated a lot before emailing you because first I have never sought advice from someone online second I think my problems are typical and you have talked about some of them in your videos.
Im a 21 year engineering student this is my first semester and I hate it I am planning to change my major but I do not know to what. I do not know what I really like and want in life.
As far as I know you are a psychology major right? How was that was it easy? I like psychology and I had some major quizzes and personality test online and they say that I should major in psychology my personality type is INFJ
I am alson homosexual and never been in a relationship I lack confidence and self-esteem I hate myself and my life I am so miserable I want to feel love I want someone who likes me the way I am.
Hi Saleh,
I am glad that you took the time to email me.
I am doing well thank you. I have been having a lot of fun responding to questions since I graduated from graduate school. It has given me the opportunity to put ideas into action.
Finding out what you like, and want in life takes time. You don’t just wake up one day and instantly know who you are. It takes time. However, you need to play an active role in the process. you should be constantly looking into new things and learning about yourself. Be patient, it will take you time to figure that out.
I assume that you watched my video I made a few years ago on choosing a college major. I therefore, will not repeat everything I said in that video. If you have not seen it, I will paste it below. The gist of it is, take classes in different areas and see what peaks your interest and where you think you could see yourself. Once you have began to narrow down areas of interest by taking classes and personality and career tests go visit a counselor in that department.
They should be able to give you more information on jobs in the field and different areas you can pursue within the field. Very soon, I will also be offering a coaching workshop for this topic.
In the meantime, let me answer the rest of your questions.
Yes, I was a psychology major. I have earned my BA and MA in psychology. Was it easy, no. LOL. Psychology is hard, but I was intrigued by it and stuck with it. To be a psychology major you have to be a good writer, researcher, and reader. You also will learn how to run statistical analysis. Most psychologist are in the field to help people. There are so many fields of psychology that you can purse. However, if you are thinking of going into this field because you think it’s easy, go in another direction.
Don’t just choose a major because it sounds good. Do so because you actually like it and can see yourself working in the field. Otherwise you are just waisting your time and money. Also, don’t keep changing majors, try to actually figure out what you want to do, then change your major.
When it comes to counselors or advisors, sometimes they care and sometimes they don’t so know your stuff for yourself. And even after taking a career test, ensure that you agree. Don’t just major in something because the career test told you, or because your counselor said their major was the best at the college.
To respond to the last part of your question, before you go looking for someone else to love you. You need to love yourself. That is like saying you want to run before you can crawl. First of all, it is a bad idea, and second it is impossible. It will end badly. I have a video below on how to gain self confidence.
I have been a fan of your YouTube channel for quite a while now 🙂 Please Chauntel, I need your help.
A few weeks ago, me and a few of my friends went out clubbing. We were all just having a fun night out. That night, I bumped into one of my school mates from High School. We had a little chat and he asked me to dance with him, so I did. After dancing for quite some time, we chilled had a few drinks and he flirted and he tried to kiss me but I pushed him away. But we still hung around each other later on. Much later he accompanied me to send my friend back home.
Meanwhile, my friend was drunk and passed out in the car. So, I called for backup from my other friends. While they were on their way, me and him talked for quite a while and while we were talking he held me and wrapped his arms around me. He also mentioned that I looked “sexy” and that I’m “wild” compared to when I was in High School. The flirting was nice, I enjoyed it to be honest.
After helping my drunk friend, he sent me back home. He gave a kiss on the cheek but somehow I felt like we should kiss. So, I gave him the signal and we did.
The next day, he texted me asking me whether or not I’m busy later to get “busy” with him. But I just ignored it. And so we kept on talking for the next 3 days. During those 3 days, he insist on having sex with me and asked me for a “picture” of myself. In which, I did give him to be honest. But I wasn’t naked, I still had my underwear on. I don’t know, maybe at that time I just wanted to tease him. See what he does. However on the last day, we decided to meet up for coffee. We talked and he told me he’s leaving for a weekend vacation and mentioned that he wants a piece of me when he gets back.
While he’s on vacation, we never contacted each other. I also didn’t try to do anything cause I didn’t want to seem desperate or needy and give him space. But when he did get back, he never tried to get in touch with me. So, I wondered why. The next few days, I texted him to see how he was doing. He replied. Had a little chat. Then we hardly spoke for the next few weeks. I didn’t call or text nor did he.
However, 2 weeks ago, I thought I got into contact with him. I asked him what he’s doing. He said “Nothing, just chilling at home”. I asked “I’ll be having drinks with my friends at some bar if you wanna join”. He said he’ll think about it. But he also mentioned that he’s going on a trip the next morning with his friends, so I said “Its okay”. And we didn’t talk for the next few days.
Last week Thursday, he texted me seeing what am I up to. I said I was chilling with my girlfriends and he said he just got back from the trip. And we spoke a little, he said goodnight as did I. I didn’t hear from him on Friday and on Saturday. Nor did I try to do anything about it. So, on sunday, I texted him “Hey” and he hasn’t replied since.
HELP ME CHAUNTEL! Please. I don’t know what to do plus I’m also confused at times. Your advice is much appreciated. Thanks 🙂
photo courtesy of adamr
Hi Alia,
This guy is not interested in you. He is just using you for sexual favors.
I feel that you are looking for a relationship, and he is not. He is looking for someone to sleep with. It’s best for you to let this guy go and find someone who is on the same level as him of looking for a sexmate. That is not you.
You must be patient to find a guy who is also interested in a relationship. This guy will only end up hurting and disappointing you. You dig?
I really like this guy, but, I’m very nervous to talk to him. Even on facebook. lol. In person it’s easier, but Facebook, forget it. lol.
What should I do?
Hi Ana,
Men, are pretty simple. They don’t get hints. However, they have big egos and like to take charge.
The problem that most men have when approaching a women is they fear rejection. So…all you have to do is open the door for him. Make it easier for him to converse with you. Don’t take his role, just encourage him along. How do you do that? You achieve this by outwardly flirting with him. You would be surprised what you can do without saying a word. Men aren’t always the best with communicating verbally, but most are pretty clear with physical communication. So, you need to improve on expressing your emotions through communicating through body language.
First make eye contact. Make sure that he gets it. You should confirm 3 sure glances. Each time smile, with her chin down and your eyes up. If he is away from you wave at him.
Once he approaches you smile, and flick your hair back. Make some small talk, but do it in a hurry. You want to talk to him just long enough for him to be intrigued to get to know more about you. Then, you find a reason for why you have to leave, this creates a sense of urgency.
Follow this up with giving him your number. Let him know that you are looking forward to his call as you enjoyed your conversation. Then, leave. Get out of dodge.
As far as you being scared, or nervous oh well, you have to work through it. You cannot get what you want by hanging in the stands. You have to get in the game and play. That is just the way it is. Be confident and go get yo’ man girl!
What should girls do to get a guy to ask them out. Chauntel sits down with her cousin Avrum and talks about his first date. What should guys do to show a girl a good time? Watch! askchauntel@gmail.com
I’m in a phase where I don’t think I’m pretty at all, like I’m crap even though how much I wash my face and groom myself, buy fancy clothes etc. If people ask me they said I’m fine. I don’t know why, please help. Thanks.
by adamr
Hello Mia The Lost Girl,
Well one thing that you must know is the clothes don’t make the girl. It is the girl who makes the clothes. So, with that being said, no amount of make up or shopping can replace a genuine love that you have to find within yourself.
All of the material things aside. I want you to take a moment of appreciation for life. Remember, tomorrow is not promised. You have to live each day as if it was your last. Embrace every fabric of your being and know that you were placed on this earth for a reason. God has a true purpose for your life. If it was not so, you would not be here.
Now, once you have accepted that for what it is you can begin to move forward. Stop trying to use things to make you feel better. Now they don’t say a diamond is a girls best friend for nothing. When we have pretty things we automatically feel pretty, but if that’s all you have it’s for not.
So here is what I want you to do. Strip away all of these things that you think you need to feel pretty. Stand infront of the mirror, and select something about yourself that you are proud of. Focus on that and appreciate. Then, I want you to focus on reversing this negative self talk that you have.
Stop telling yourself how much you don’like you and begin telling yourself over and over that you love you. Everyday, I want you to write down at least 2 things that make you special and unique. If you have to repeat one day that’s ok. More will come. After a months time, I want you to look in the mirror again and see how many beautiful things you like about yourself.
Continue to do this as long as you need to. You my friend are beautiful, and it doesn’t matter how much I or anyone else says it. If you don’t accept it, you will never hear it. So, it is time for you to start making changes. Make your life great. If you don’t then who will?
You are the only one who can change your destiny. Nobody ever said it was easy to be beautiful right? You can do it. I would love to hear how you are doing too!
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