Balancing Work and Family – Ask Chauntel

21-year-old Mitch  from New Jersey writes:

Hi there Chauntel,

As of now I have been actively been pursuing a career in Investment Banking. I realize that as of now, I think this is what I want to do. It has been a dream of mine for the for the past few years in my life.

After talking with some of my business professors, I realize that the path into IB is not as glorious as it sounds. The pay is obviously very good, but it comes with a price. 100 hour work weeks are the norm, and with that being said there is not much time for anything else. One of my professors told me I can definitely get to where I want to be, but you will be a lone wolf on this endeavor.

After hearing his advice to me this makes me question my efforts. I see everybody around me going to parties and having fun, while most of the time I give priority to my school work. In terms of relationships, I would really love to fall in love with a girl. I thought I had that once, but eventually that ended and I have a hard time believing I will feel those feelings again for another person.

In a nutshell, what do you think I should do? Should I still continue my efforts to achieve my goal and run the risk that I could not even end up liking what I do and I wasted all my time and effort on something I do not like? I fear that one day I will not be happy and realize I wasted my time and effort in something that does not make me happy.

by photostock
by photostock

Hello Mitch,

The path to success does come with some sacrifice and a lot of hard work. However, you cannot allow that to overtake you. After all, you only have one life to live, right?

The key to sorting out your situation is first identifying your values, then assigning priorities to to those values. Decide what your number one priority in life is, then your second, then your third, and so on. Once you know what holds the most value to you, you can decipher where to prioritize. For example, if you value school more than partying, then you might prioritize studying over partying on Friday night, and that’s ok! I did it!

 Also, make friends who also have busy schedules and won’t make you feel bad about yours!

Life is about balance. If you do not aide the social side of you, you will most likely not be as productive at work because you will begin to dread being there. So, what should you do instead? Well, since you are aware that the field you are in is very time consuming, you will have to schedule in your social time. If you don’t you will not be as productive at work, which may eventually lead to burnout. I know I have done it 🙂

So, setting aside your personal time to socialize is just as important as setting aside time to study.

Specifically, when it comes to Investment Banking(IB), is that your passion?  If so, are you willing to put in that 100 hours a week? It really comes down to how important is it to you to be an IB? How much do you value it in your life? If you value being in IB more than you value having more time for social activities and a romantic relationship, then maybe IB is not for you.

However, if the “money” isn’t going to be enough for you, and those extra 60 hours a week are not something that you want to sacrifice in your life, then this is not probably not the career path for you.

Now, as far a romantic relationship goes specifically, it will be very difficult to find a woman who is willing to be with a man who works 100 hours a week. However, there is that woman out there.

So, if you do end up working 100 hours a week. You absolutely must set aside time for her, but keep in mind that you are also going to have to have personal time. These things are important for the relationship to thrive.

If you choose to have kids later on, it will make for a very estranged relationship with them, because you will barely have time for yourself.

So, find out what you value the most, then prioritize from there. I am sure that you can work 100 hours a week, and have a family but I can assure you that your relationship with them will be greatly affected.

I offer private coaching sessions if you would like to chat about his more.

I Hope This Helps!

Chauntel
Email questions to askchauntel@gmail.com

Video: Does Religion Matter in Dating? – Ask Chauntel – Advice Column

Have you ever dated someone who does not uphold the same values and beliefs as you? Can this type of relationship work? Should you consider dating this individual? Watch!
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Radio Archive: Should You Risk Your Friendship for a Relationship?

radio micAs promised in last night’s Radio Show here is the information for Beauty Blogger

Bernadette Ortega from <a href=”http://beautydette.com/”>http://beautydette.com/</a&gt;

and Wellness Coach Marlene Perez <a href=”http://wellnesswithmarlene.wordpress.com/”>http://wellnesswithmarlene.wordpress.com/ </a&gt;

We had so much fun on the radio show last night. The topic was:

The ladies and I really got into the topic at times sharing our personal experiences and giving introspective into the topic. Listen and call next week with questions and comments at (646) 715-3900 ext 10988. The link to the radio show is http://www.blogtalkradio.com/askchauntel

Here is the show:

http://www.blogtalkradio.com/askchauntel/2013/09/20/dating-and-relationship-advice-from-ask-chauntel

A Simple Thing to Consider When Choosing a Mate – Ask Chauntel – Advice Column

couple embracing in love
by photostock

Hello Beautiful People,

I just wanted to leave you with a word of encouragement.

When you make the decision that you are ready to look for a mate, always be sure that you put yourself in the equation.

Don’t choose someone just to feel a void. Choose a person that compliments you. In fact, choose a person that completes you! And by the way…be bold and confident while you do it 🙂

I Hope This Helps!

Chauntel

email questions to askchauntel@gmail.com

Vote: Should You Risk Your Friendship for a Relationship?

How to Approach a Girl – Ask Chauntel

http://youtu.be/w_yu9F1F99I

Are you nervous to approach girls? Do you know what to say when you meet them? How do you let them know that you are interested? What do you say when you walk up to them? What kinds of questions should you ask? Watch! askchauntel@gmail.com

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AC Videos Mentioned:
How to Approach a Girl: http://youtu.be/IuDMBeyBuTM
How to Flirt: http://youtu.be/cASCmKBpIrQ
How to Talk to Women – Conversation Topics: http://youtu.be/KGXDUeYrGjQ

Be on the Show!

Hello Beautiful People! We am excited to announce that you can pitch yourself to be on “Ask Chauntel”.

be on the showWe are expanding the Ask Chauntel  brand to include interviews with individuals doing amazing things! I would love to know more about what you do so that we can have you on the show! If you live in the Southern California area we maybe able to set up a face-to-face meeting! Otherwise we may set-up a Skype or Google Hangouts session with you!

Spread the Word! Also, if you are promoting a noteworthy event we would also like to hear from you!

Contact Us at askchauntel@gmail.com

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Why Won’t He Call Me His Girlfriend?

by marin

So the guy you have been dating is a little skeptical about “titles”.

You feel like you are in a relationship with him, yet he doesn’t quite call you his girlfriend. This reality leaves you dazed, confused, and sometimes a little frustrated. So What do you do?

You get upset about it, but he always seems to find a way to make you forget about it when you are around him. He knows just what to say, and when to say it. However, when you’re alone all you can do is dissect the situation and try to understand it.

Why won’t he call you his girlfriend? It’s simple. He doesn’t want to commit to you.

Then you ask, well how can that be and why not? When you begin asking these two questions your frustration will build. Why?

Well, if I give you the honest answer you won’t feel any better about the situation than you did before you asked, but since you want to know I guess I will share.

When it comes to a committed relationship, guys can sometimes be scared off by the idea of being “stuck” with one girl. In many cases they would just rather leave their options open.

So, if you are dating “that guy”, what should you do? Well you can chose to take one of two options. One you can accept him for who he is and not pressure the situation, while also keeping your options open and dating other guys. If you choose this option be sure to add value to his life, you don’t just want to be “another girl”. However, keep in mind this can only go on so long because eventually you will move on, if you do this right. Reason being, you should be dating other guys who are a viable option for you. If this guy really likes you he will shape up in time, right before you move on.

Your second option is friend-zone him, and find a guy who is actually in the mental space to want a committed relationship. They are out there waiting on you.

BUT..whatever you do, don’t just get into a relationship, just to be in one. Settling is so not cute!

I Hope This Helps!

Chauntel

email questions to askchauntel@gmail.com

He Says He Doesn’t Want to Be in a Relationship

24-year-old Ebony writes:

I recently ran into an old friend from High School, we exchanged numbers and I text him like a week later. He expressed to me how he always like me but I was only into school, that I was his high school sweetheart. I had no idea he felt this way about me and it sent me into shock.

He asked me out the next day and my response was “um.” Honestly I was still taking in everything he expressed to me the day before and how much love he had. He asked me if it was too soon and indecisively I responded “yeeeeea.”

a few days later after I processed his feelings and I processed my own, I expressed to him how I wish I would of said yes the first time, that I wanted to be with him and I knew he’d be good for me.

this is the exact text he responded with:
“truth is ‘im not ready for a relationship and can be friends. my job takes so much time and plus i’m gonna start school ebony and its not that i’m trying to avoid you its that I get no time for me AND its frustrating!! so i’m sorry ok”

my heart broke and I couldn’t understand what was happening and what I should do. He’s everything I’ve ever wanted , if I go down the list he’s the PERFECT guy for me (yes I said perfect)

I don’t want to loose him … what do I do now?

Hi Ebony!

Look at this as a blessing in disguise. He obviously doesn’t know what he wants, and you my friend can do nothing with a guy who doesn’t know what he wants. You dig?

So, don’t sweat it. If he doesn’t want a relationship then he doesn’t. At least he is being honest with you. He could have gotten with you, then cheated on you.

Cut your losses, there is a guy out there for you. He is wishy washy it seems. Don’t get your heart wrapped up in this. If and when he is ready, he will let you know. Until then, don’t fret just be cool, and see what happens. Stop putting so much pressure on this and just try to have fun. Ok?

I Hope This Helps!

Chauntel

email questions to askchauntel@gmail.com

Vote on The Poll: Is There a Double Standard Between Men and Women in the Workplace?

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by photostock

When men and women are going for the same position, it seems that men are getting ahead or making more then women. Is this a myth or is it reality?