How to Stop Procrastinating – Ask Chauntel

In this video I share the importance of being disciplined in order to avoid procrastination. When we procrastinate we become overwhelmed and create bad habits for ourselves. Here I share how I have avoided the pitfalls of procrastination lately, and how you can do the same!

Let me know what you think!

Video mentioned at end!

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Mommy Monday – How I Found My College Major- Confessions of a Mommy Blogger

Hello My Beautiful Jewels and Gems!

So trying to figure out what you are going to do with the rest of your life when you are 18, is quite daunting.

Let’s be realistic, in our current world, at 18, most of us haven’t had the life experience to know what we want to do for the rest of our lives. I sure didn’t.

So it all began with a thought that became a dream for me. My plan was to become an actress and a high fashion model from the time I was about four years old. I literally saw Mary Kate and Ashely on “Full House” and I thought, I could do that! And there the dream was born!

However, my mom and dad made sure that I knew that college had to come first before any other career choices. So, I did what I had to do. I went to college.
I tried to find a school that I thought was not too far away from LA, because my plan was to go to auditions throughout the week as they came.

The college I selected to attend was California State University Fullerton. It was in Orange County, not to far from LA, and I liked that they had a diverse population on campus. Being from the Inland Empire, I was accustomed to having friends from all different backgrounds! I absolutely loved it! So this was a characteristic that I looked for in a college.

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Downtown Disney shopping with roommates in college!

I decided that if acting and modeling didn’t work out that I would have a “back-up” plan. My back-up plan was to became a Counseling Psychologist. I decided on this for a couple of reasons.

  1. I love to Talk
  2. I love to Help People

I later found out, neither of these reasons would quite get me to the right career. In fact, they were quite broad, and left me in the middle of a huge field of choices with countless decisions.

Here was the problem, I didn’t know which one I wanted to take. However, that story is for another day.

I entered Cal State Fullerton as a psychology major. Little did I know that my perception of what it was like to be a psychologist was skewed by what I saw on TV. Working in the field is nothing like what the shrink on TV makes it look like. I tried it so I know!

Ironically, during the 5 years that I was at Cal State Fullerton I did not go to a single audition.

In theory it sounded good, but in actuality I didn’t have the interest or time between work, school, and extra curricular activities. I had a full plate. To be honest, I really didn’t miss it, but I didn’t know that until later….

Until Next Week Loves!

xoxo

Chauntel

 

 

Cute Ways to Ask a Guy Out- Ask Chauntel Advice Column

16-year-old Paula from the USA writes:

Hi Chauntel ,

I NEED YOUR HELP!

OK so I’am a Junior in high school, but I really like this guy who is a Sophomore . How do i ask him out ? Should I ask him out ? We are always making eye contact and smiling at each other so should I take the next step and ask him out , or should I talk to him ? That’s the problem we always say hey to each other , but our conversation really doesn’t go past Hello. How do i talk to him.. HELP ME PLEASE

Cute Date Ideas - Bowling
by franky242

Hello Paula,

The fact that you are at hello is a great start. Instead of outright asking him out you should encourage or inspire him to ask you out. That is the beauty of being a young woman, the power of influence.

He will perceive it as him doing the asking, but you will have done the initiating. How does this work? It’s simple.

Invite him to hang out with you and your friends. You can tell him that he can invite his buddies too. It can be a simple mall trip, miniature golf, or maybe  even a trip to the bowling alley, choose a group date along those lines. Once you are out with him, be yourself and flirt with him casually.

If he enjoyed his time with you he will initiate a future hang out. I wish you love!

I Hope This Helps!

Chauntel

email questions to askchauntel@gmail.com

Finding Love – Ask Chauntel – Advice Column

21-year-old Leslie from Namibia writes:

Hello Chauntel!

I’m a big fan of your videos. I met this girl on badoo(social site). She stays far from me, we’ve been chatting for 3months and haven’t met. I really like her and want to date her,but she said she doesn’t believe in true love, what can I do to change her mind? Secondly how can get her to come to where I’m staying? Please help!

Hello Thomo!

Here is the answer to your question:

How to Get the Girl I Love to Believe in Love

Why Won’t He Call Me His Girlfriend?

by marin

So the guy you have been dating is a little skeptical about “titles”.

You feel like you are in a relationship with him, yet he doesn’t quite call you his girlfriend. This reality leaves you dazed, confused, and sometimes a little frustrated. So What do you do?

You get upset about it, but he always seems to find a way to make you forget about it when you are around him. He knows just what to say, and when to say it. However, when you’re alone all you can do is dissect the situation and try to understand it.

Why won’t he call you his girlfriend? It’s simple. He doesn’t want to commit to you.

Then you ask, well how can that be and why not? When you begin asking these two questions your frustration will build. Why?

Well, if I give you the honest answer you won’t feel any better about the situation than you did before you asked, but since you want to know I guess I will share.

When it comes to a committed relationship, guys can sometimes be scared off by the idea of being “stuck” with one girl. In many cases they would just rather leave their options open.

So, if you are dating “that guy”, what should you do? Well you can chose to take one of two options. One you can accept him for who he is and not pressure the situation, while also keeping your options open and dating other guys. If you choose this option be sure to add value to his life, you don’t just want to be “another girl”. However, keep in mind this can only go on so long because eventually you will move on, if you do this right. Reason being, you should be dating other guys who are a viable option for you. If this guy really likes you he will shape up in time, right before you move on.

Your second option is friend-zone him, and find a guy who is actually in the mental space to want a committed relationship. They are out there waiting on you.

BUT..whatever you do, don’t just get into a relationship, just to be in one. Settling is so not cute!

I Hope This Helps!

Chauntel

email questions to askchauntel@gmail.com

Should I Break-up With My Boyfriend?

B writes:
Hi Chauntel,
I’ve noticed more and more lately that my bf is not the man I thought he was.
I was initially attracted to him when we began dating a year ago because he seemed so adult: gentleman, home owner, good job, responsible, etc. Then I feel in love because he’s sweet, caring, affectionate etc.
Lately though, I’m kinds “getting over it.” He doesn’t have money to take me on a date, but he has money to buy weed! Among other things…

I think the real kicker was a talk we had a month ago. We have different time frames when we want to marry each other (at least we want to marry each other lol). I think in 3 years is appropriate and he thinks in about 7-9++ who  His logic? He wants to grow up more, go to school, make more money. I respect that, BUT I see no initiative! I’ve gone with him to look at schools, for example, and he like…doesn’t follow through. So he says he wants to become a better person before he gets married, and I appreciate that…but I don’t see him doing anything about it. It’s like all talk.

Now I know better than to try to change his mind. I guess my question is, is it time to move on? I’m young and have no intention of wasting my precious 20s on someone who is all talk no walk with his drive/motivation, and who has money for drugs but not for dates etc.
Like I said, I was attracted because I thought he was grown up and I fell in love because of his heart. His heart is still golden, and I still love him. I guess my attraction is fading though because of this. Maybe the realization that we’re on not different paths but different paces left a bad taste in my mouth. Maybe his drug use it starting to get to me (I knew it from the first date though so I can’t pretend to be shocked). Maybe our differences are becoming more evident as we pass the one year mark.
Any perspective will give me a clearer head. Thanks Chauntel!
Screen Shot 2013-09-08 at 9.06.07 PMHello B!
I am going to take your question and answer it piece by piece. 
In response to your statement: 
“I’ve noticed more and more lately that my bf is not the man I thought he was.”
When this becomes a reality, we sometimes ignore it because we are so attached emotionally that we don’t want to let go. However, to be completely transparent with yourself and admit that he isn’t who you would wish for him to be, is monumental. With this knowledge, you also have to recognize the fact that you cannot change him, and you cannot romanticize over who you thought he was. In fact, in order to stay in a healthy relationship with someone you have to love the person that they are. 
 
He is a druggy. I understand that “weed” may not be considered as a serious drug to most. BUT… It is still a drug, and it is still illegal. Also,  weed is usually a gateway into other drugs. Unfortunately, this problem will probably not only persist, but get worse. Not only that, but fact that he is not meeting your needs, and is instead spending all of his resources on drugs, is a window for you to see into the bad choices that he is making in his life.
With this information, as much as you might try to settle it in your mind, and justify his actions(we as women do this often) you cannot turn the other cheek.
You deserve better, much better.
As far as talks of marriage, you shouldn’t marry someone who is making you feel this way. First off, you shouldn’t marry him because, you don’t like who he is as a person. (personal choices, career choices, choices concerning you…etc..) Second, you shouldn’t marry him because, he doesn’t appreciate who you are. Lastly, you shouldn’t marry him because, he isn’t serious about your relationship or your feelings because if he was, he would not be telling you that he will marry you in distant years like 7 to 9 years. Those numbers tell me that you two value different things in life.
When you choose to marry someone, all of your values and beliefs may not match completely, but they should be really, really close. Otherwise you will run into even more problems.
I would say, that your women’s intuition is speaking to you, and letting you know that although it feels good to have a relationship, and you like the idea of who you thought he was, this is not going well. It cannot be ignored. If you continue in this relationship, you will be settling. And my oh my, is that bad!
You deserve to have a man who will sweep you off of your feet, and this guy isn’t even trying. So, to you I say, yep it’s time to walk away. 
Being friends probably won’t work because your feelings run too deep. It’s already going to be hard enough to walk away, but you will be a stronger women for it. I wish you all the blessing and all the love in the world.
I Hope This Helps!
Chauntel
email questions to askchauntel@gmail.com
 

Is She Pretending to Love You?

smiling couple by photostock
by photostock

Curious Dude writes:

Hi Chauntel!

How do you know woman ain’t pretending to love you?

Hello Curious Dude,

The simple fact that you ask the question makes me skeptical about the girls honest and true feelings for you.

Love goes beyond the feeling. Love is an action. The way you tell the difference between pretend and the real thing, is by her actions.

What does she do to show you that she cares? Is she showing you, or is it all lip service? If you are not getting what you need out of your relationship, then you need to express it. If it doesn’t get any better after that, you are just spinning your wheels.

Love has to be shown. You dig?

Chauntel

email questions to askchauntel@gmail.com

10 Common Reasons Couples Break Up

1. They Value Different Things in Life

2.  They Don’t Get Along with Eachother’s Friends and Family

3. One Person Cheats on the Other

4. One is Much More Ambitious Than the Other in their Career 

5. They Grow Apart

6. They Couldn’t Handle the Long Distance

7. One Person Looses Trust in the Other Person

8. They Had a Hard Time Finding a Compromise

9. One Person Was Violent, Possessive or Controlling

10. They Didn’t Have a Strong Physical Attraction

Image
photo by Ambro

3 Signs that a Guy Likes You

Young Friends%22 by imagerymajestic
by imagery majestic

Allie writes:

Hi Chauntel,

How do u tell if a guy likes you, and How would you tell him you like him?

Hi Allie,

Here are three simple ways to tell if a guy likes you:

1. He shows interest and wants to spend time around you.

2. He flirts with and teases you.

3. He tries to stay in close proximity to you and finds ways to make physical contact with you.

It’s better to show him that you like him than to tell him by flirting with him. Build a friendship with him, then let him know that you are interested in getting to know him better.

Here is my video on this topic:

I Hope This Helps!

Chauntel

email questions to askchauntel@gmail.com