Domestic Violence and I have 2 Kids

32-year-old Lesley writes:

Dear Chauntel,

I have 2 children their father passed away. I started dating 2 years ago a year back he started telling what to do, where to go where i can not go. And when i did not listen to his commands, he started beating and i kept quiet and he will tell me the next day that he did not mean to hurt me.

But now it is happening each and every week that i cannot attend church services coz im seeing other men.

Please help what do I do? I cant sleep at night  i wish that i could be around people all the time. My self esteem is so down. I feel useless.

by ambro domestic violenceDear Lesley,

It is difficult when you loose someone you love. Sometimes relationships like the one that you are in come into your life and become unbearable. I understand that you are in love with this man by the simple fact that you are still with him.

If not for your own life, you have been blessed with the gift of children, and for this reason you have to get out of this situation. This man does not mean any good to you. And it’s horrible to put your children through this. They do not need to see their mother being abused. It will tear them up inside.

I understand that you are in a controlling, abusive, and extremely dangerous situation. If he is controlling you to the point where you cannot even go to church you are going to have to get out soon. Make an excuse to leave the house and take the kids with you. Even if it is just the grocery store. Don’t take anything. That is not important. Take what is absolutely necessary and get out. There are women’s shelters that you can go to that will provide you with everything you need to start over.

This is a very unfortunate situation, and I will be praying for you. You need to seek help and support. Don’t try to do this alone. You may even consider reporting this to the police as soon as possible.

If you don’t get out of this situation your children will suffer. I am not sure of local agencies where you are, but if you visit http://www.domesticviolence.org they should be able to direct you to the services that you need.

Be Blessed and thanks for writing.

Chauntel

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34 and Tired of Online Dating

34-year-old Farzan from Sweden writes:

Hello Chauntel! I have a question and this is easier to ask a woman than a man.

When it comes to internet dating I know what to do, and I have meet many women different ages without problem. But im soo tired of internet and im seeing soo many women looking at me when im outside, at the bus stop, in a caffe and so on. My question is what to DO when a woman stares at u time to time. Im not blind, i know the look, im only shy 🙂 If u can give me few tip i can take it from there. I see sooooo many women look at me and i cant respond and i want to bang my head to a wall of being this shy.

 

computer Hi Farzan,

Women who continue to make eye contact with you are trying to signal to you that they are interested and waiting for you to approach them. I know this can seem odd, or even awkard for most men because guys don’t usually read body language as well as women.

It is just in our nature to send you a signal and wait for you to send one back. The problem with this is that signals can get mixed up and confused at times. So, if you see a women looking your way on a constant basis who slips you a smile, it might be safe to say that she is interested and trying to get your attention. It’s just a subtle way of flirting. So…how do you respond to this, right? I know that is what you were thinking.

You smile back making eye contact then you approach her. Say hello, introduce yourself, and start up a conversation. From there follow up with asking for her number because you enjoyed the conversation. If she is interested, she will comply and slip you her digits. If not, well she might have just been being friendly when she slipped you that smile, but it is definitely worth a try. It beats waiting at your computer glaring at your online dating profile.

Not to say that they don’t work for some, but it is not for everyone. If you don’t like it then don’t do it. Just get out more. Get around people, meet your friends friends. Go where women are, then you will have more to choose from. It is time to get out of your routine. Move away from your bubble so that you can begin meeting more women.

I Hope This Helps,

Chauntel

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Being Bullied and Insecure About Myself

14-year-old Nancy writes:

Hi Chauntel!

So I’m watching your videos right now and I thought it is a good idea to write an email to you.
It’s not going to be an email about boys or something like that. It’s about me and my self-esteem.
When I look at the mirror I don’t see anything bad. But people in my school are bully me because
of my large and bulging (REALLY bulging) eyes. I’m only 14 and I can’t deal with it. What should I do?
Hi Nancy,
It’s funny that it’s your eyes that you point out because I have just the opposite problem. My eyes are so small. When I smile they almost completely go away. In fact when I was a baby my family asked my mom if she was sure that she had taken home the right baby because they thought I looked Chinese.
The reality is, we all have something about ourselves that Make us stand out. However, God made us just the way we are for a specific purpose. Lucky for me I was able to see your picture when you wrote in. What the kids at school don’t know or quite understand is that your beauty is in your eyes.
After reading your question I took a look at your photo, and let me tell you those eyes of yours could take you far in modeling. I am not sure how tall you are, but if you are at leastt 5’9″ you should really consider high fashion modeling. Here is an excellent resource that I found: http:http://www.exploremodeling.com/ If you are not that tall, not to worry they’re are other areas of modeling. However, don’t go into that unless you develop thick skin. I just wanted to mention this to you as an option because I think you’re beautiful and you should give it a try.
Now to address your question specifically, what do you do? You take what they say with a grain of salt. Kids at school are always gonna find something mean to say about each other. It was like that for me, and it is going to be like that for you. If you embrace your beautiful eyes they will eventually leave you alone about it. The only reason they continue to tease you is they know that they are getting to you. If you truly begin to love your eyes, and let what they say role off your sleeve they will notice your confidence and hopefully buzz off.
I was never good with coming up with ways to talk back to people so I would just ignore them or walk away. I know it really hurts. but this is only for a season. It gets better, and once your modeling they will make fun of you because of their jealousy.
So what’s the moral of the story here? People talk, ignore them. You choose your destiny not them. You have the power to wake up every morning and love what you see in the mirror.
By the way here are some successful models with eyes like yours (:
Google both of them. You will see how much of a splash they have made in history, past and present.

How to Approach a Girl : Re SimplePickup

Chauntel expresses a women’s perspective on how men should approach a girl. She points out the points made in simplepickup’s video and adds her two sense! Watch!

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My Girlfriend Has Too Many Guyfriends

21-year-old Ryan from Massachusetts writes:

Hi Chauntel!,

How are you? I had a few relationship questions.

1. I’ve been in a relationship with my girlfriend for about 2 months and everything is great. She is on the field hockey team at school and hangs out with a lot of kids on other sports teams. She says she’d never cheat, and alot of the baseball kids are her best friends…..is there a way I can handle this because honestly i’ve never dated a girl with so many good guy friends.

2. She isn’t very romantic and I am, is there a way to coax her into being more romantic or do I give her space and let her come to me?

3. Since this is all new and my last relationship was of 3 years, what advice to you have to keeping relationships fun, healthy and happy.

Hi Ryan,

I love your questions, and I will address them one at a time just as you have asked them.

1. If your girlfriend is in an environment with a lot of guys, that is ok. You have to have confidence within yourself and your relationship. The two of you just need to sit down and develop boundaries on what is appropriate within your relationship when comes to hangouts with the opposite sex. Once you two have agreed on what is appropriate you have to trust her. I know it is a hard thing to do, but you have to do it for the sake of your relationship. When and if those boundaries are crossed then that is when you actually have a problem, but for the time being don’t make it an issue. It is not.

2. In most relationships one person is usually more romantic than the other. That is ok. It works out better that way because one person balances the other out. Now, the problem is when she is not willing to be romantic with you, but if she is in the moment with you and enjoying it, stop complaining. It is ok that you are the initiator. In fact, that is even better because you are the guy. But again, this is not a problem so don’t make it one.

3. Wow, you’re third question is a loaded one. I could probably write a book on it, but we will do what we can here. To keep a relationship fun, healthy and fresh you have to include excitement in what you do. Celebrate the little things. Compliment each other often. Always be in tune to what the other person is feeling. Don’t just listen to what they say, but watch their body language. Stay in tune with their emotions. Never, get into such a routine that you never do anything spontaneous. Think out of the box and find little ways to surprise each other. Communication is the key ingredient to this. If you have good communication and stay in tune with your mates emotions you will have the best chance at a healthy, fun, and happy relationship.

I also have an article that I wrote entitled: 10 Ways To Build a New Successful Relationship

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9 Things a Girl Should Never Say to Her Boyfriend!

http://youtu.be/i3A2rO2B6DA

10 is laugh at him! Chauntel gives women advice on 9 things they should never say to their boyfriend. Funny! Watch! askchauntel@gmail.com http://www.askchauntel.com

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Ask Chauntel Radio Starts Next Thursday July 11 at 3pm

Hey Beautiful People!

Ask Chauntel Radio is here! Ever wanted to talk to Chauntel directly, for free? Now is your chance, call into her radio show with your question every Thursday, beginning July 11, at 3:00pm PCT. She would love to speak to you! To listen in logon towww.blogtalkradio.com/askchauntel

This weeks topic is: How should a girl show that she is interested? Vote

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