OK so I’am a Junior in high school, but I really like this guy who is a Sophomore . How do i ask him out ? Should I ask him out ? We are always making eye contact and smiling at each other so should I take the next step and ask him out , or should I talk to him ? That’s the problem we always say hey to each other , but our conversation really doesn’t go past Hello. How do i talk to him.. HELP ME PLEASE
by franky242
Hello Paula,
The fact that you are at hello is a great start. Instead of outright asking him out you should encourage or inspire him to ask you out. That is the beauty of being a young woman, the power of influence.
He will perceive it as him doing the asking, but you will have done the initiating. How does this work? It’s simple.
Invite him to hang out with you and your friends. You can tell him that he can invite his buddies too. It can be a simple mall trip, miniature golf, or maybe even a trip to the bowling alley, choose a group date along those lines. Once you are out with him, be yourself and flirt with him casually.
If he enjoyed his time with you he will initiate a future hang out. I wish you love!
I’ve been dating this amazing guy for about 3 months. He’s almost 6 years older than me… he’s 27, and I’m a relationship type girl, and typically like older guys, who seem more ready for something serious. This guy pretty much took the reigns, and made the relationship a “relationship” quickly.
HOWEVER, he told me at the beginning that he was warming up to the relationship thing slowly because he had just gotten out of a long term relationship a year ago. But he kept making sure to reassure me that he was only seeing me and that although he isn’t a huge fan of labels. We had a relationship. He told me he wasn’t seeing anyone else and wasn’t going to. However, over the last month, he’s been different. Distant, not really trying to make plans to see me much, and he’s been overall just really grouchy and unhappy.
He’s now saying he is very depressed (which i’ve picked up on and he’s mentioned) and is asking for space… and I don’t really know how to handle this. “Space” and “time” could mean days, weeks, years? And does he even really want me to stick around, or do you think he’s trying to let me down easy? I wish he would open up and let me be there for him, but he is very out of touch with his feelings and wouldn’t have this conversation on the phone, even. We haven’t been talking too much, but communication hasn’t stopped and has mostly been about our situation. He claims to not want to tell me what to do because he doesn’t exactly know what he wants right now. He’s said that he still likes me and will continue to work on me, but that he needs to get himself happy before he can be happy with anyone else, and that he thinks separating would be best for now. I won’t sit around and wait forever, but I’m really heartbroken. I’m feeling like its a situation where I have to let him go, and if he comes back happy and healthy, it was meant to be?
[(here’s some extra info… maybe help you understand this more than me?)
When he asked for space, he said we’re frequently not on the same page with what we want out of the relationship (I’ve been wanting to meet his friends and have him meet my family), that he needs slow and casual because he cannot emotionally invest what i want out of him right now (i’ve been stupid to sleep with him, I know that now), that he’s never felt this depressed and needs to figure out his life and himself, and that he doesn’t think he’s ready for a relationship when he thought that was what the hole he was feeling inside was. He told me that I haven’t scared him off or done anything to make him feel this way, that I’m an amazing person he loves spending time with, that I make him so happy but he doesn’t make himself happy, and that he’s not going to disappear but he just needs time for himself.]
Hello Natalie,
First off, you go girl!
The man you are dating seems very mature and has a lot of introspection. Which means that he knows how to look within himself to see how he is feeling, and is aware of what he needs, which is great. He is also great at communicating his feelings to you, which I cannot say for most guys. I know that you are in a very frustrating situation, and believe it or not, you are both in a very vulnerable position.
You have two options. One you can wait for him until he is ready to be in a committed relationship, or two you can accept that he isn’t ready for commitment and explore other options to find that guy who wants what you want right now. Don’t forget you are 20, live a little 🙂
If this guy really holds value in your life, then be supportive of his space. How do you do that? Let him lead. How much is enough and how much is too much, when it comes to “space”? Well there is not a magic formula to this. You simply let him initiate most of the time: hangouts, phone calls, conversation, and all other contact. You will start to get a fill for what the “space” is that he wants.
You will probably go through this process until you get to the point where you want more. He will either give it to you or he won’t. But whatever you do, don’t force it. You will only turn him off.
Let him lead, or just be friends and go find what you are searching for!
I’m a big fan of your videos. I met this girl on badoo(social site). She stays far from me, we’ve been chatting for 3months and haven’t met. I really like her and want to date her,but she said she doesn’t believe in true love, what can I do to change her mind? Secondly how can get her to come to where I’m staying? Please help!
I just wanted to leave you with a word of encouragement.
When you make the decision that you are ready to look for a mate, always be sure that you put yourself in the equation.
Don’t choose someone just to feel a void. Choose a person that compliments you. In fact, choose a person that completes you! And by the way…be bold and confident while you do it 🙂
Are you nervous to approach girls? Do you know what to say when you meet them? How do you let them know that you are interested? What do you say when you walk up to them? What kinds of questions should you ask? Watch! askchauntel@gmail.com
So the guy you have been dating is a little skeptical about “titles”.
You feel like you are in a relationship with him, yet he doesn’t quite call you his girlfriend. This reality leaves you dazed, confused, and sometimes a little frustrated. So What do you do?
You get upset about it, but he always seems to find a way to make you forget about it when you are around him. He knows just what to say, and when to say it. However, when you’re alone all you can do is dissect the situation and try to understand it.
Why won’t he call you his girlfriend? It’s simple. He doesn’t want to commit to you.
Then you ask, well how can that be and why not? When you begin asking these two questions your frustration will build. Why?
Well, if I give you the honest answer you won’t feel any better about the situation than you did before you asked, but since you want to know I guess I will share.
When it comes to a committed relationship, guys can sometimes be scared off by the idea of being “stuck” with one girl. In many cases they would just rather leave their options open.
So, if you are dating “that guy”, what should you do? Well you can chose to take one of two options. One you can accept him for who he is and not pressure the situation, while also keeping your options open and dating other guys. If you choose this option be sure to add value to his life, you don’t just want to be “another girl”. However, keep in mind this can only go on so long because eventually you will move on, if you do this right. Reason being, you should be dating other guys who are a viable option for you. If this guy really likes you he will shape up in time, right before you move on.
Your second option is friend-zone him, and find a guy who is actually in the mental space to want a committed relationship. They are out there waiting on you.
BUT..whatever you do, don’t just get into a relationship, just to be in one. Settling is so not cute!
Ok so I started dating this girl right after she broke up with ger BF of two years, we’ve been going together for a month and I fell in love with her, I dont want to get hurt, what to do…
Hi Terrance,
Coming into a new relationship with someone when they have just come out of one can be difficult.
It takes a lot of patience on your part because you have to be understanding of what she is feeling. Beyond that you must also be aware that she may or may not be in the best emotional state to be receiving a relationship.
With all that in mind how can you ensure that you don’t get hurt and don’t end up a rebound? You cannot. However, you can take these precautions.
If you feel that the person that you are in the relationship is not ready for commitment, don’t try to pressure them into it. Guard your heart as much as you can while you wait it out. It will be easy for them to throw themselves into their new relationship and ignore what they are feeling from their past relationship. It is up to you to be aware of that, and take things slow.
Don’t rush into anything serious until you are confident that they have left their last relationship in the past. If you build a friendship with your lover slowly you will be in tune with what they are feeling. When you feel that you are both on the same level of thinking and feeling then the two of you can slowly start moving into a more committed relationship, but not before.
We talked everyday over Facebook for like 2 in a half months. For a few weeks he’s now too busy. He has work, school, boxing. I’m understanding about it to a certain extent. I’m a Scorpio so I told him I demand attention before we got involved. Which is true! That’s my nature, I told him how I felt and he feels strongly about me too so he says. He just said that everything else comes first. So in my head this is how I perceive our situation.
3 months ago.Him: Hey, your really pretty. So I’m going to give you all my time, I’m going to have long conversations. I’m going to compliment you and give you millions of you cute nicknames without coming across as an ***. You’ll like me cause I’ll reply back multiple times in a day and we’ll have fun conversations.
Me: AwwwHim: I’m mainly doing this cause nothing’s going on in my life. When something happens I’ll slowly stop telling you things. And because we were never official and this is a long distance thing we can just be friends. But I still like you! It’s just something grabbed my attention more than you’re doing now. So just be happy that we’re talking there’s no rush.Me: Okay, so I was just the latest toy on the shelf. You have new ones that you like better but don’t want to throw me away due to sentimental value, however you’re going to leave me on here to rot?This is how I perceive everything. He’s an amazing guy, the best I’ve ever encountered but he doesn’t even reply back in the same day, sometimes 2 days. He says I’m being obsessive which I can be and was being lately do to the fact I feel like he’s ignoring me. He says he’s not, that he’s just busy.
I don’t know what to do. I feel like we’re in a relationship without being in a relationship. I want to end it but then I don’t because he is so amazing. I just feel like if your life was so busy and you knew how I felt/was (I was very straight forward in the beginning) why would you even continue to speak to me. I know he has a life, I don’t want all his time. I just want to know his life because there is still so much we don’t know about each other. Also I don’t want to just give up when things don’t work, life isn’t about taking the easy route. But I’m considering moving on, without telling him. Like keeping my options open, talking to other guys, finding myself. Just having fun, cause he’s obviously too busy with his life. What should I do?
Hey Love,
Well….The guy is busy and that is a good thing. That means he has a passion about something. Give him time. Don’t pressure him too much. The point is that he is including you and that matters.
It may not be all you want, but as long as he is giving you time and making you feel appreciated that is all you can ask for.
I have this young Lady in my church who I am interested in. She has been going to my church since 2009. I remember telling her I liked her in that same year and her not knowing how to respond because she barely knew me. This was all of course four years ago. I am interested in I like her for more than her beauty. I genuinely feel and see a radiant beauty from her I like her and what to be more than friends what do you think I should do.
Hi Jethro,
It looks like it is time for you to act on your emotions. If you don’t she might get scooped up by someone else. Since you go to the same church, I am sure that you have interacted a bit. The next step is to approach her, and let her know that you are interested in getting to know her a little better. Go for it dude! What are you waiting for? However, be prepared that if she is not interested in you, you have to accept that and take it as an opportunity to move on.
Here are a couple of videos that I have made on similar topics below!
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