Having a hard time trying to figure out what to give your mom for Mother’s Day? Want to make sure that you select or create just what she wants? Where there is a will, there is a way! Watch!
Category: Faith & Wellness
How to Resist Temptation and Be Strong in God – Ask Chauntel
Have you ever come across a temptation that was so strong that you could not find a way out. How do you overcome these spiritual challenges? What does God tell us about this? Let’s take it straight to the scripture! Watch!
My Boyfriend is a Jew, and I am a Christian – Relationship Advice – Ask Chauntel
15-year-old Summer from England writes:
Hello Chauntel!
I have a boyfriend who lives maybe 30 minutes away by train. We meet on a online chat room, and the same week we agreed to meet.
We have meet 3 times since. He’s 16 nearly 17. We have only known each other 5 weeks.
He asked me out on the second time we meet, and i said yes. I can’t tell my parents because they are really strong Christians and he is Jewish, they wont let me have a boyfriend, let alone a Jewish one. I don’t want to tell them just in case they don’t let me see him.
He has told all his friends and family that we are dating, but saying we meet at a party not online because he’s embarrassed of where we meet.
We Skype nearly everyday and i really really like him What should i do?!
Love from
Summer
xxxxxxxx
Hello Summer,When it comes to religion, it gets really gummy. I understand your dilemma. However, keeping him a secret is not the answer.
If you were of a marrying age my advice would be different(mostly run far away, This won’t work out., I wouldn’t touch this with a ten foot poll!), but since you are  so young this is how I would approach your situation.
Go to you parents and tell them that you are interested in dating someone. Let them meet him. Try to stray away from conversations about religion. Don’t lie to you parents. If they ask then you must be honest, but if they don’t ask then don’t bring it up. Here is the thing, sneaking around, having secret train rides is dishonest and not safe. Also, you will loose their trust, and this for you will be unbearable.
They will trust you much more if you let them know that you met someone. If after you have to told them the truth, they still ban you from talking to him because of your differing religions you must respect their wishes.
As children of God, we must obey our parents. It is written, Ephesians 6:1, “Children, obey your parents in the Lord for this is right.”
Also, I wouldn’t make too big a deal out of this. It would be unwise to get into a deeply rooted relationship with him because eventually you will have to part ways.
The Bible informs us that to be together we must be equally yoked. What does that mean?
It means you have to be of the same mind. Meaning amongst other things, same religion, same values. There is a scripture in Amos, that says (Amos 3:3) “How can two walk together unless they touch and agree.” Now it doesn’t mean literraly touch. This verse in symbolic. Meaning on the same level spiritually.
I know that this can be annoying as well as  seem unfair. I have been in your situation. I was a little older, but it was the same type of thing. I was dating a guy who was of a different denomination that me. I am deeply rooted in mine. We couldn’t agree, and fought a lot. I thought to myself, how can I be with a guy who doesn’t believe the same things as I do. What will my children believe? It was then that I decided it would not be a good idea to become too deeply involved with him. I dated him casually until I met the next guy. The end goal was to find a man that I could eventually marry. Which I did, and he is a catch :)!
Now, the religion title itself is not what matters. The belief system is what matters. As long as you go into your relationship with this understanding then I think you will be ok. But I recommend that you let your parents know that you are dating someone. Again, SNEAKING AROUND BEHIND THEIR BACKS IS NO THE ANSWER.
I Hope That Helps!
Chauntel
Email questions to askchauntel@gmail.com
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Why Did God Make Me Black? – Ask Chauntel
Chauntel responds to a question from a viewer who gets personal about her struggle with being a young black women in a white world in West Virginia. How should she deal with the racism? Chauntel shares her own story and gives insights into what it must feel like to be a black girl in a white world. Watch! askchauntel@gmail.com http://www.askchauntel.com
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Video: Does Religion Matter in Dating? – Ask Chauntel – Advice Column
Have you ever dated someone who does not uphold the same values and beliefs as you? Can this type of relationship work? Should you consider dating this individual? Watch!
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Radio Archive: Should You Risk Your Friendship for a Relationship?
As promised in last night’s Radio Show here is the information for Beauty Blogger
Bernadette Ortega from <a href=”http://beautydette.com/”>http://beautydette.com/</a>
and Wellness Coach Marlene Perez <a href=”http://wellnesswithmarlene.wordpress.com/”>http://wellnesswithmarlene.wordpress.com/ </a>
We had so much fun on the radio show last night. The topic was:
The ladies and I really got into the topic at times sharing our personal experiences and giving introspective into the topic. Listen and call next week with questions and comments at (646) 715-3900 ext 10988. The link to the radio show is http://www.blogtalkradio.com/askchauntel
Here is the show:
http://www.blogtalkradio.com/askchauntel/2013/09/20/dating-and-relationship-advice-from-ask-chauntel
How to Set-up a Blog
Michael writes:
Hi Chauntel,
I saw ur YouTube video about shy guys approaching women….as someone living with I will give u first hand analysis in how bad this situation really is..also I’d like to kno how to set up a blog page from u.
Hi Michael,
Setting up a blog page is simple. You will need to first set-up an email address! If you already have one you can utilize the one you have.
Then, you will have to choose a blogging platform that suits your needs. There are tons of blogging platforms out there. Depending on what your area of interest is, you will choose the platform that suits your needs best.
Instagram is great if you enjoy taking pictures and want to focus your blog on photos and having followers. It is quick blogging. People who use this app normally follow you if you make it personal.
Pintrest is another great bloggin platform for photos. It is also an awesome networking tool because it allows you to connect with people who have similar interests.
Twitter could be considered really fast blogging concerns news, moods, and thoughts.
Blogger is owned by Google and it is very easy to add ads to your post and onto you blog. It is also very user-friendly. However, some consider it for amateurs. I like it though. I have a blog there that I update about once a week if not more. http://www.askchauntel.blogspot.com. It connects directly to your Google Plus accounts. I like that they give you an opportunity to customize your design and template of your blog pretty holistically at no extra charge. It is also helpful because your page is  likely to come up in google search results as this platform is owned by google. You can personalize your navigation and side panels. It also provides you with stats and gives information on where readers where referred from. However, it is more difficult for blogger collaboration.
Tumblr is another blogging platform that is utilized a lot. I haven’t used this one, but I hear it is great for posting photos, and I people can also ask questions right on you page from what my sister tells me.
WordPress is the blogging platform that you are reading from right now. It is used by most professional bloggers. They do not allow you to put google ads on your blog for advertisement, but they do have a lot of options for designs and templates. However, if you want to personalize the design of your page, fonts, and colors you sometimes have to pay a bit extra. For the most part it is free, easy to manage and looks professional. They also keep your stats for you, and let you know how readers were referred to your blog. You are given the opportunity to link your WordPress blog to you Twitter, Facebook, Youtube, and Linkedin. It is not as user friendly as Blogger, but if you stick with it you will learn how it works. There are discussion boards on WordPress as well as a Reader. These tools make it much easier to find new blogs and collaborate with them. This is a good blogging platform to get your feet wet.
All of these blogs that I have mentioned are free. However, if you would like to personalize your domain name you will have to pay for it. It makes it more professional. For example instead of my website url being http://www.askchauntel.wordpress.com, for $18, I made it http://www.askchauntel.com.
I would also like to mention BlogLovin’ to you. It is a platform that allows people to follow blogs that are hosted on different sites. Good luck on your selection process. Share it when you have one! I would love to see it!
Best!
Chauntel
askchauntel@gmail.com
My Military Parents Don’t Support My Career Decisions
Grace writes:
Hello Chauntel,
Recently we moved as my family’s in the military. I will be a senior in high school next year and my parents have a certain college in mind for me. The problem is that i don’t want to go there. I know what i want to do for my career but they don’t want to send me to any schools that offer pre-vet classes. I found some decent colleges and prices but they still want me to stay in the state. i have tried several times to show them other options but if i don’t go to a college in this state they will hear none of it. Do you have any advice? Thank you in advance.
Hi Grace,
It is very important to continue to show respect your parents, but when you begin making decisions that are not inline with their plan for you it can become difficult.
However, you have to express how you feel to them. In reality, you are the one who is going to be going to class and doing the work, and once school is over you will be working the job.
It is unfair for your parents to try to force you into a career that you don’t want to do, but trust me you are not the only one who is dealing with this. Our parents invest a lot in our lives, and into our education. Sometimes they do not know where to draw the line.
It is up to you to bring it to their attention, and you must be gentle in your approach. Make sure that they understand that you respect their wishes, but that you have to be the one to make this decision as it is going to affect your life directly. Ask them to respect your wishes. They may not, and if they don’t it is ok. In time they will come around.
What I don’t want you to do, is go to a college or pursue a degree that you don’t want. This would be a waste of your time and money.
What  I want you to do is respectfully decline your parents recommendation, and find a college program that is inline with your career goals and apply there.
I Hope This Helps!
Chauntel
email questions to askchauntel@gmail.com
The Law of Attraction
14-year-old Nick writes:
Hey Chauntel, I just watched your video on how to approach a girl and stuff like that…. But my situation is a little bit tougher.. I’m 14, I just started high school this year and I noticed this girl kind of right off the bat as soon as I saw her she immediately drew my attention but I cannot get enough courage to talk to her everytime I try I get all nervous start to blush I get butterflies my mind goes all crazy so I back out and just not talk to her. I’ve never talked to this girl before bc of that reason and it’s almost the end of the school year and I’ve never said a word to her. What’s your advice on how to approach her for the first time without making me look like a fool and I can give her a good first impression on how I am?? And I guess I’m kind of pessimistic about this situation bc I doubt my chances of ever being able to date her when the time presents itself and I always think I’m not good enough and my looks aren’t good enough and I don’t wanna wait too long bc she could get swept up by another guy and I don’t want that /: so please if you could answer back with some advice on this situation ASAP it would help me soooo much (: hope to hear back soon!
Hi Nick,
Have you heard of the Law of Attraction? The gist of it is, if you think negatively you will attract negativity. So, if you keep thinking that you have a small chance to attract her, guess what you do.
So what I need you to do is stop thinking of yourself as never getting a chance with her, but start believing that she would be happy to have you.
If you step to a girl without confidence she is not going to take you seriously, and she will not be attracted to you. Also, this is not about putting on a show. All you have to do is be yourself.
As far as your looks go, although I am not sure how you look I want you to know in most cases it really doesn’t matter. I mean face it. Haven’t you seen plenty of beautiful girls with not so hot guys. Do you know why? It is because those girls are attracted to those guys based on that guys confidence. This is not to say that you are not attractive ok.
So moving on. What you need is a game plan. I don’t mean that you need to memorize how the conversation is going to go word for word. If you do that and it doesn’t go the way you planned you will choke.
Here is how you approach her: Walk up to her and say hello. Introduce yourself. Let her introduce herself. Then, give her a compliment. Then have small talk. It could be about anything.
Then create a sense of urgency. Make up an excuse as to why you have to go, or simply tell her that you have enjoyed talking to her, and you would like to get to know her better. This is the time that you ask her for her number. Then you tell her you will talk to her later, and off you go. Whatever you do, stop this negative self talk and believe in yourself. You will be glad you did.
Now, once you have done that you have approached her, and you have left a good thought in her mind of you. Need some help with the next conversation? I have a video for that:
I Hope This Helps!
Chauntel
Choosing a College Major: How Did You Like Psychology?
21-year-old Saleh writes:
Hi Chauntel
How are you? I hope you are doing fine. I hesitated a lot before emailing you because first I have never sought advice from someone online second I think my problems are typical and you have talked about some of them in your videos.
Im a 21 year engineering student this is my first semester and I hate it I am planning to change my major but I do not know to what. I do not know what I really like and want in life.
As far as I know you are a psychology major right? How was that was it easy? I like psychology and I had some major quizzes and personality test online and they say that I should major in psychology my personality type is INFJ
I am alson homosexual and never been in a relationship I lack confidence and self-esteem I hate myself and my life I am so miserable I want to feel love I want someone who likes me the way I am.
Hi Saleh,
I am glad that you took the time to email me.
I am doing well thank you. I have been having a lot of fun responding to questions since I graduated from graduate school. It has given me the opportunity to put ideas into action.
Finding out what you like, and want in life takes time. You don’t just wake up one day and instantly know who you are. It takes time. However, you need to play an active role in the process. you should be constantly looking into new things and learning about yourself. Be patient, it will take you time to figure that out.
I assume that you watched my video I made a few years ago on choosing a college major. I therefore, will not repeat everything I said in that video. If you have not seen it, I will paste it below. The gist of it is, take classes in different areas and see what peaks your interest and where you think you could see yourself. Once you have began to narrow down areas of interest by taking classes and personality and career tests go visit a counselor in that department.
They should be able to give you more information on jobs in the field and different areas you can pursue within the field. Very soon, I will also be offering a coaching workshop for this topic.
In the meantime, let me answer the rest of your questions.
Yes, I was a psychology major. I have earned my BA and MA in psychology. Was it easy, no. LOL. Psychology is hard, but I was intrigued by it and stuck with it. To be a psychology major you have to be a good writer, researcher, and reader. You also will learn how to run statistical analysis. Most psychologist are  in the field to help people. There are so many fields of psychology that you can purse. However, if you are thinking of going into this field because you think it’s easy, go in another direction.
Don’t just choose a major because it sounds good. Do so because you actually like it and can see yourself working in the field. Otherwise you are just waisting your time and money. Also, don’t keep changing majors, try to actually figure out what you want to do, then change your major.
When it comes to counselors or advisors, sometimes they care and sometimes they don’t so know your stuff for yourself. And even after taking a career test, ensure that you agree. Don’t just major in something because the career test told you, or because your counselor said their major was the best at the college.
To respond to the last part of your question, before you go looking for someone else to love you. You need to love yourself. That is like saying you want to run before you can crawl. First of all, it is a bad idea, and second it is impossible. It will end badly. I have a video below on how to gain self confidence.
I Hope This Helps!
Chauntel
askchauntel@gmail.com
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