I was hoping for advice on how to get my life on track and be healthy, happy again after being completely depressed and devastated from my ex of one year breaking up with me. Life has just been really hard lately, and I just have no motivation for anything anymore. Thank you so much Chauntel!
Hi Clarissa,
Thanks so much for your question. When relationships don’t work out the way that we would like for them to,it can be very painful. Sometimes when that hurt goes really deep within us we can slowly become more and more depressed.
It is for this reason that some people are afraid to get into committed relationships. They are afraid of getting hurt. However, we cannot allow our emotions to define our actions. We must push through them until we reach a place of acceptance and let go of what once was to feel what is.
You remember the good times, and keep those memories, then you make the decision to create new ones.
Here is the reality. Love is beautiful, and when it leaves we will feel pain. Instead of allowing the pain to overtake us we must take each relationship as a learning experience, and learn from them what we can. Then we should begin focusing time on ourselves and finding what truly makes us happy.
Sometimes we may not feel like being happy. You may not have the appetite to eat, or have the energy to get out of bed, but we have to push through that. Eventually the pain will subside and you will actually begin enjoying the things that you used to, and even appreciate life that much more.
So, you have to push through it girl! You are going to get through this, and you have to believe that. It starts with you believing that you can, and just doing it. Wake up every morning with a smile on your face and eventually you will be happy. Prepare your favorite meal and you will eat it.
First off I want to thank you. You’ve been a major help to me and my friends. I don’t know if you’ve adressed this in any of your videos already, but I have a friend who’s 19 and she has started drinking… I’m really worried about her and I don’t know what to do. I’ve tried everything I could think of but nothing works. I’ve been so worried and there has been a lot of other things going on and I started cutting myself again. What do you think I should do? 😦
As of now I have been actively been pursuing a career in Investment Banking. I realize that as of now, I think this is what I want to do. It has been a dream of mine for the for the past few years in my life.
After talking with some of my business professors, I realize that the path into IB is not as glorious as it sounds. The pay is obviously very good, but it comes with a price. 100 hour work weeks are the norm, and with that being said there is not much time for anything else. One of my professors told me I can definitely get to where I want to be, but you will be a lone wolf on this endeavor.
After hearing his advice to me this makes me question my efforts. I see everybody around me going to parties and having fun, while most of the time I give priority to my school work. In terms of relationships, I would really love to fall in love with a girl. I thought I had that once, but eventually that ended and I have a hard time believing I will feel those feelings again for another person.
In a nutshell, what do you think I should do? Should I still continue my efforts to achieve my goal and run the risk that I could not even end up liking what I do and I wasted all my time and effort on something I do not like? I fear that one day I will not be happy and realize I wasted my time and effort in something that does not make me happy.
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Hello Mitch,
The path to success does come with some sacrifice and a lot of hard work. However, you cannot allow that to overtake you. After all, you only have one life to live, right?
The key to sorting out your situation is first identifying your values, then assigning priorities to to those values. Decide what your number one priority in life is, then your second, then your third, and so on. Once you know what holds the most value to you, you can decipher where to prioritize. For example, if you value school more than partying, then you might prioritize studying over partying on Friday night, and that’s ok! I did it!
Also, make friends who also have busy schedules and won’t make you feel bad about yours!
Life is about balance. If you do not aide the social side of you, you will most likely not be as productive at work because you will begin to dread being there. So, what should you do instead? Well, since you are aware that the field you are in is very time consuming, you will have to schedule in your social time. If you don’t you will not be as productive at work, which may eventually lead to burnout. I know I have done it 🙂
So, setting aside your personal time to socialize is just as important as setting aside time to study.
Specifically, when it comes to Investment Banking(IB), is that your passion? If so, are you willing to put in that 100 hours a week? It really comes down to how important is it to you to be an IB? How much do you value it in your life? If you value being in IB more than you value having more time for social activities and a romantic relationship, then maybe IB is not for you.
However, if the “money” isn’t going to be enough for you, and those extra 60 hours a week are not something that you want to sacrifice in your life, then this is not probably not the career path for you.
Now, as far a romantic relationship goes specifically, it will be very difficult to find a woman who is willing to be with a man who works 100 hours a week. However, there is that woman out there.
So, if you do end up working 100 hours a week. You absolutely must set aside time for her, but keep in mind that you are also going to have to have personal time. These things are important for the relationship to thrive.
If you choose to have kids later on, it will make for a very estranged relationship with them, because you will barely have time for yourself.
So, find out what you value the most, then prioritize from there. I am sure that you can work 100 hours a week, and have a family but I can assure you that your relationship with them will be greatly affected.
I offer private coaching sessions if you would like to chat about his more.
Have you ever dated someone who does not uphold the same values and beliefs as you? Can this type of relationship work? Should you consider dating this individual? Watch!
askchauntel@gmail.com http://www.askchauntel.com
We had so much fun on the radio show last night. The topic was:
The ladies and I really got into the topic at times sharing our personal experiences and giving introspective into the topic. Listen and call next week with questions and comments at (646) 715-3900 ext 10988. The link to the radio show is http://www.blogtalkradio.com/askchauntel
I just wanted to leave you with a word of encouragement.
When you make the decision that you are ready to look for a mate, always be sure that you put yourself in the equation.
Don’t choose someone just to feel a void. Choose a person that compliments you. In fact, choose a person that completes you! And by the way…be bold and confident while you do it 🙂
Watch Chauntel interview artist who showcase their talents, you could be the next artist to showcase yourself in the show! If we look deep inside we can find the artist inside of us. Sometimes when we deal with the pain and struggles of life we begin making bad choices to get involved using substances that are harmful to us like drugs and alcohol. It’s time to take a stand against those things and find the expression within us that can help us relieve this pain in a beautiful and artistic way! askchauntel@gmail.comhttp://www.askchauntel.com
Are you nervous to approach girls? Do you know what to say when you meet them? How do you let them know that you are interested? What do you say when you walk up to them? What kinds of questions should you ask? Watch! askchauntel@gmail.com
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