Choosing a College Major: How Did You Like Psychology?

21-year-old Saleh writes:

Hi Chauntel

How are you? I hope you are doing fine. I hesitated a lot before emailing you because first I have never sought advice from someone online second I think my problems are typical and you have talked about some of them in your videos.

Im a 21 year engineering student this is my first semester and I hate it I am planning to change my major but I do not know to what. I do not know what I really like and want in life.

As far as I know you are a psychology major right? How was that was it easy? I like psychology and I had some major quizzes and personality test online and they say that I should major in psychology my personality type is INFJ

I am alson homosexual and never been in a relationship I lack confidence and self-esteem I hate myself and my life I am so miserable I want to feel love I want someone who likes me the way I am.

Screen Shot 2013-07-02 at 1.58.06 PMHi Saleh,

I am glad that you took the time to email me.

I am doing well thank you. I have been having a lot of fun responding to questions since I graduated from graduate school. It has given me the opportunity to put ideas into action.

Finding out what you like, and want in life takes time. You don’t just wake up one day and instantly know who you are. It takes time. However, you need to play an active role in the process. you should be constantly looking into new things and learning about yourself. Be patient, it will take you time to figure that out.

I assume that you watched my video I made a few years ago on choosing a college major. I therefore, will not repeat everything I said in that video. If you have not seen it, I will paste it below. The gist of it is, take classes in different areas and see what peaks your interest and where you think you could see yourself. Once you have began to narrow down areas of interest by taking classes and personality and career tests go visit a counselor in that department.

They should be able to give you more information on jobs in the field and different areas you can pursue within the field. Very soon, I will also be offering a coaching workshop for this topic.

In the meantime, let me answer the rest of your questions.

Yes, I was a psychology major. I have earned my BA and MA in psychology. Was it easy, no. LOL. Psychology is hard, but I was intrigued by it and stuck with it. To be a psychology major you have to be a good writer, researcher, and reader. You also will learn how to run statistical analysis. Most psychologist are  in the field to help people. There are so many fields of psychology that you can purse. However, if you are thinking of going into this field because you think it’s easy, go in another direction.

Don’t just choose a major because it sounds good. Do so because you actually like it and can see yourself working in the field. Otherwise you are just waisting your time and money. Also, don’t keep changing majors, try to actually figure out what you want to do, then change your major.

When it comes to counselors or advisors, sometimes they care and sometimes they don’t so know your stuff for yourself. And even after taking a career test, ensure that you agree. Don’t just major in something because the career test told you, or because your counselor said their major was the best at the college.

To respond to the last part of your question, before you go looking for someone else to love you. You need to love yourself. That is like saying you want to run before you can crawl. First of all, it is a bad idea, and second it is impossible. It will end badly. I have a video below on how to gain self confidence.

I Hope This Helps!

Chauntel

askchauntel@gmail.com

http://www.askchauntel.com

Am I His Bootycall?

21-year-old Alia writes:

Hi Chauntel!

I have been a fan of your YouTube channel for quite a while now 🙂 Please Chauntel, I need your help.

A few weeks ago, me and a few of my friends went out clubbing. We were all just having a fun night out. That night, I bumped into one of my school mates from High School. We had a little chat and he asked me to dance with him, so I did. After dancing for quite some time, we chilled had a few drinks and he flirted and he tried to kiss me but I pushed him away. But we still hung around each other later on. Much later he accompanied me to send my friend back home.
Meanwhile, my friend was drunk and passed out in the car. So, I called for backup from my other friends. While they were on their way, me and him talked for quite a while and while we were talking he held me and wrapped his arms around me. He also mentioned that I looked “sexy” and that I’m “wild” compared to when I was in High School. The flirting was nice, I enjoyed it to be honest.
After helping my drunk friend, he sent me back home. He gave a kiss on the cheek but somehow I felt like we should kiss. So, I gave him the signal and we did.
The next day, he texted me asking me whether or not I’m busy later to get “busy” with him. But I just ignored it. And so we kept on talking for the next 3 days. During those 3 days, he insist on having sex with me and asked me for a “picture” of myself. In which, I did give him to be honest. But I wasn’t naked, I still had my underwear on. I don’t know, maybe at that time I just wanted to tease him. See what he does. However on the last day, we decided to meet up for coffee. We talked and he told me he’s leaving for a weekend vacation and mentioned that he wants a piece of me when he gets back.
While he’s on vacation, we never contacted each other. I also didn’t try to do anything cause I didn’t want to seem desperate or needy and give him space. But when he did get back, he never tried to get in touch with me. So, I wondered why. The next few days, I texted him to see how he was doing. He replied. Had a little chat. Then we hardly spoke for the next few weeks. I didn’t call or text nor did he.
However, 2 weeks ago, I thought I got into contact with him. I asked him what he’s doing. He said “Nothing, just chilling at home”. I asked “I’ll be having drinks with my friends at some bar if you wanna join”. He said he’ll think about it. But he also mentioned that he’s going on a trip the next morning with his friends, so I said “Its okay”. And we didn’t talk for the next few days.
Last week Thursday, he texted me seeing what am I up to. I said I was chilling with my girlfriends and he said he just got back from the trip. And we spoke a little, he said goodnight as did I. I didn’t hear from him on Friday and on Saturday. Nor did I try to do anything about it. So, on sunday, I texted him “Hey” and he hasn’t replied since.
HELP ME CHAUNTEL! Please. I don’t know what to do plus I’m also confused at times. Your advice is much appreciated. Thanks 🙂
womens legs by adam
photo courtesy of adamr
Hi Alia,
This guy is not interested in you. He is just using you for sexual favors.
I feel that you are looking for a relationship, and he is not. He is looking for someone to sleep with. It’s best for you to let this guy go and find someone who is on the same level as him of looking for a sexmate. That is not you.
You must be patient to find a guy who is also interested in a relationship. This guy will only end up hurting and disappointing you. You dig?
I Hope This Helps!
Chauntel
askchauntel@gmail.com

What to do if a guy doesn’t like you?

13-year-old Claire writes:

Hi Chauntel,

There is this boy i have liked since second grade and i can not even explain how much i want to just hug him. i have asked him many times if he would ever go out with me and my friends have asked him also, but he always says no……. I cry every time 😦 i just want to know how to get him to go out with me and there is a big dance next year and my only dream is to go with him to the dance.. but i am trying to gain self confidence but i think i am still ugly…  i am the kinda girl who plays softball and volleyball and where my hair up almost everyday… i kinda think he likes me but would be embarrassed to go out with me because of his friends but he also texts me and talks to me on the phone and we tell each other almost everything so please help me………… you can just answer by emailing me back…. p.s. i am the one in the white shirt…

Hi Claire,

You cannot force this guy to like you. In fact, if he was honest and let you know that he was not interested you should have let it go. I know it is not an easy thing to do, but if you don’t you will just be annoying him and making yourself more upset. So, just let this one go. You will find another crush who will like you back!

I Hope This Helps!

Chauntel

askchauntel@gmail.com

VIDEO: First Date Tips

What should girls do to get a guy to ask them out. Chauntel sits down with her cousin Avrum and talks about his first date. What should guys do to show a girl a good time? Watch! askchauntel@gmail.com

Summer Wedding Ideas

Summer is the time for weddings! It’s nice outside. The family is on vacation. The sun is shinning.

You don’t have to worry about the rain destroying your beautiful day. You can choose a dress that is more fun and playful.

Yes, this is why many choose to get married in the summer, but what is going to make your summer wedding sparkle!? What is going to make it different than the rest? You must personalize your wedding to fit the needs of you and you groom.

Lucky for you Bridal Shows are happening almost every weekend during the summer. Here are some cute summer wedding ideas for those of you planning.

Have Great Legs? Where a Shorter Dress to Show Them Off

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Olia Zavozina Bridal
Choose this option appropriately. It’s a good idea for an outside wedding in a garden or at the beach.

Wear a Flower in Your Hair Instead of a Long Veil

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Etsy: KrumpetsDesigns

Be a Roman goddess and skip the train.

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David’s Bridal Style VW351000
Be a Roman goddess and skip the train. Wear more drapey  fabrics with columns as your arch.

Plan a Destination Wedding

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Plan a Destination Wedding on The Beach!

Vote: When a Guy Cheats and Says That He Is In Love Is It True?

New Poll Every Saturday.

Today’s Poll:

How to Get a Guy To text You Back!- Fun Friday

If a guy isn’t texting what should you do to get him to text back? What should you say?
Watch! askchauntel@gmail.com http://www.askchauntel.com

Article: 5 Tips to Text a Boy/Girl That You Just Met
https://askchauntel.com/2013/02/08/5-tips-on-what-do-you-text-a-boygirl-you-just-met/

Like My Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/pages/Ask-Chauntel/107899835937155?fref=ts

My Boyfriend Doesn’t Trust Me

Hawa writes:

Hey Chauntel 🙂

So heres the deal, my boyfriend broke up with me 3 weeks ago. I cried my eyes out when he did. He said we fought too much and that the respect was gone.. because i got mad at him one day and took his card and used money on it, he got mad at me for that and said he could ot trust me again.

I think that helped make his choice of breaking up much easier. The day we broke up he told me that i meant alot to him and that i would always had a place in his heart. one week later.. i was just sitting in my room, he suddenly called me, asking ” can i pick you up, and than we can go over to my house” , ” I love you “, and I miss you. But than i came to realize he was drunk.. so i knew he had been to a party and i was afraid that he had been doing something with someone else, so i was crying my eyes out on the phone but i tried to be strong. he kept asking me if everything was ok. 30 minutes later he showed up at my house telling me how much he loves me and i am the most important person to him, and ill always be his girl..he for the first time said “I LOVE YOU”

I was shocked. did not know if i should be happy or sad, the fact that he said it when he was drunk. I invited him in.. he slept till the next day. I thounght he didn’t remember anything, but when he woke up he said he remembered everything. Then he left he asked me if i wanted to join the beach later with him. I said yes, but that did not happen because when he went home he slept and later his friends came over, and the weather was not very good soo.

It sound like he was having fun when i called him, it kills me inside to know that his is having fun and i am the one hurting. Am i selfish for feeling like that… 2 days later i called him and he was going to a party again.. he parties almost every weekend these days, he never did that when we where together. I was the one doing the partying. So the fact that hes out having fun makes me think hes missed doing “fun things”, and that hes trying to get over me faster than he should, that hurts me.

We talked for 5 minutes and he had to go, i said to him that i love him, and he said he loved me too. since than i have not spoken to him about.. the night him came to my place… i mean should i ask him if he ment ” i LOVE YOU” I dont know what to do .. i cry my self to sleep almost every night. I love him and i want to be with him. Why cant everything between us be dealt with… isn’t that how love is suppose to be…
Hello Hawa,
No, this is not how love is suppose to be. The main issue that you all are having in your relationship is you all don’t have trust.
A solid relationship is built on trust and good communication. He does not trust you, and you do not trust him. Yes, it is selfish of you to not want him to go out and have fun, but it is only normal for you to feel that way. You don’t want him to go on without you and the thought of that hurts. This relationship is unstable and it cannot continue this way. If you want this to work you too are going Ro have to build trust in your relationship.I Hope This Helps!Chauntel

Www.askchauntel.com
Askchauntel@gmail.com

Is He Using Me for My Friend?

15-year-old Beth from England writes:

Hello Chauntel!

I’m a massive fan of your channel, I love it! and i find everything so useful and always cheers me up! 🙂

I need your advise on a few things because I have 3 older brothers and no mum so never get any advise, so I always look to you as a big sister 🙂 I like this boy, but he use to fancy my friends, so he became friends with me so he could spend more time with my friend who I fancied, this happened twice and I’m not sure if he likes me as a friend or just using me? cos I really like him, what should I do???

and I also like this guy who lives 5 hours away from me and its really hard, we skype every week but I miss him always cheering me up, what should I do? and I’m always feed up as guys fancying me when they meet me but not when I get to know them cos I’m out going and stuff, should I change myself?

well I hope you can help,
from your little sister
Beth 🙂
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teens by imagerymajestic
by imagerymajestic

Hello Little Sister Beth 🙂

I am so glad that my videos have been helpful to you. I hope they continue to be so. I am sorry that you do not have a mom. I like how you say it better though, mum. However, I am glad that in-spite of all of that, you are a strong beautiful young women and God has allowed us to cross paths.

With that said, it would take a lot of energy for this guy to use you simply to get to your friend. However, people do this sort of thing all the time. I wouldn’t worry about it too much. Just keep your eye on him to see if he is just keeping a relationship with you to keep her around. If you feel that way you should just talk to him about it. Friends should talk these things through, that’s how friendships get stronger.

As for the guy who lives far away, it sounds like you all are building a great friendship and that is wonderful. However, I wouldn’t worry too much about trying to be boyfriend and girlfriend with him. You are so young, and a long distance relationship at your age just doesn’t quite make sense.

However, keep your friendship and who knows what will happen in the future.

As, for changing yourself. If you watch my videos you know better than to ask this question. You are beautiful just the way you are. Nothing, and no one should try to change that. The second a guy does, you drop him. You deserve to be loved for who you are, and if you don’t who else will?

I Hope This Helps!

Chauntel

http://www.askchauntel.com

askchauntel@gmail.com

Am I in An Abusive Relationship

Heather writes:

Hi Chauntel,

I need to know if im in a abusive relationship can u help me?
when me nd my partner first met he bought me fowers chocolate nd put money into my bank account all the time, but since he has moved house with his friend he has changed, when we argue he grabbes me by my throught nd puts me on the floor nd drags me, he has never punched me or anything like that, he says he does it because he feel threatened when we argue he feels like im going to hit him when im not it has happened on 4 diffrent occasions, but last we we had an argument nd he threw me on the floor and opened the car door which hit me in the head then dragged me nd pushed me for about 20 mins then put me on the floor again then put me on the floor again after that nd screaming at me whilst im shoved in the corner nd his friend grabbed me by the throught but when he put me to the floor he grabbed me by the throught everytime, he done this because i asked for my car back that i lent him nd now he is refusing to giv it back because he had to replace the clutch,, i dont know weather to leave him or not, but now i finch at him and im scared to speak my opinion incase he gets angry but when he doesnt do this sort of thing hes really nice too me,, i really dont know what to do,, please help,,, thankyou