Chauntel expresses a women’s perspective on how men should approach a girl. She points out the points made in simplepickup’s video and adds her two sense! Watch!
I broke up with my ex in February because i wanted to finish my associate degree (which i did) and work full time to save for a car (in which i dont have yet). We’ve been great friends since. We still talk great. No sex involved. Some days I want it back. Some days i only want general sex with women i DONT care for. How do I know if we should try it again? Or if I need to be single?
Follow-up Question from Chauntel to John:
Hi John,
Those days that you “want it back” what is it that you are missing or wanting?
Those days that you “don’t care for her,” why is that?
Reply from John:
I want back the fact that I only need to worry about her and not making a handful of women happy.
On single days I like to flirt and know that if I had sex with a girl, another wouldn’t get offended. There would be no commitment.
by by artur84
Chauntel’s Response:
Hi John,
I think it is great that you and your ex have remained friends, that is so important. However, I am not convinced that you are ready to be in a relationship.
I think it is comfortable for you to be with her, and that is why “some days” you like it. You are not that into her. It is nice that you are worried about her, but you cannot feel guilted into a relationship with her. That is not fair to either of you. She will end up being hurt in the long run if you continue to walk the line. Don’t send her mixed signals. If you guys are friends, then don’t make her feel like it is more. That is torture.
I also think you are just fearful of moving on.
Don’t mess up your friendship with her, unless you are sure that you actually want to pursue a relationship with her. If you do, both of you will end up hurt.
You are in the mood to play the field, and that’s ok. The only time that becomes a problem is if you put yourself in a committed relationship. Don’t do it.
I know that you enjoy the comfort of a girl to come home to, but you cannot have that and play the field. You have to choose one or the other. I would not advise you to jump back into a relationship with her. Give yourself sometime. You are obviously searching for something that you did not find in that relationship. Continue to respect her.
Don’t “accidently” have sex with her one-night and say it just happened, because guess what it will mean much more to her than it just being an accident. You seem like a nice guy so don’t force this.
I have a huge problem and I decided to ask you for help. So I went out with my crush and everything was great he told me that he likes me, I told him that I like him too. Then he was begging me to kiss him so I kissed him. We talked and he told me that he wants us to go slow I said ok. He told me that he had a wonderful time with me. I saw him 5 days after out date, he was with his friends and he didn’t even say hi to me! Then I texted him, and he didn’t answer. What should I do??? please help!
Hi Carmen,
Lets not jump to conclusions. It is possible that he did not see you. If you texted him while he was out with his friends he might have overlooked it.
Now, if a few days go by and you still get no communication from him, he is not into you. It is possible that he is not ready to introduce you to his friends. That could mean many different things.
1. He may not know you well enough yet.
2. He is embarrassed of you for some reason or another.
Here is what I would do in your situation. I would wait it out a couple of days. Don’t call him, text him, facebook him, nothing. If he hasn’t hit you up in a few days text him:
“Hey, how are you?”
See if he replies. If he does follow-up with:
“I really enjoyed hangin’ out the other day.”
If he replies, follow up with:
“I was out (wherever it was) the other day, and I saw you out with your friends. I was (explain what you were doing)”
Then see what he responds with. He may play it off like he didn’t see you. Or he may be honest and tell you that he did see you and explain himself. You don’t even have to ask, but I would NOT accuse him of ignoring you. It is too soon for all of that.
Then, invite him out to do something. See if he is into it. That should give you and idea of where his head is. If he is responsive, then great don’t worry about that little drama. However, if you are still concerned about it just keep an eye on him.
If he takes too long to introduce you to his friends, then something is up. However, it is too soon for you to be concerned. Cool?
There is this boy i have liked since second grade and i can not even explain how much i want to just hug him. i have asked him many times if he would ever go out with me and my friends have asked him also, but he always says no……. I cry every time 😦 i just want to know how to get him to go out with me and there is a big dance next year and my only dream is to go with him to the dance.. but i am trying to gain self confidence but i think i am still ugly… i am the kinda girl who plays softball and volleyball and where my hair up almost everyday… i kinda think he likes me but would be embarrassed to go out with me because of his friends but he also texts me and talks to me on the phone and we tell each other almost everything so please help me………… you can just answer by emailing me back…. p.s. i am the one in the white shirt…
Hi Claire,
You cannot force this guy to like you. In fact, if he was honest and let you know that he was not interested you should have let it go. I know it is not an easy thing to do, but if you don’t you will just be annoying him and making yourself more upset. So, just let this one go. You will find another crush who will like you back!
I really like this guy, but, I’m very nervous to talk to him. Even on facebook. lol. In person it’s easier, but Facebook, forget it. lol.
What should I do?
Hi Ana,
Men, are pretty simple. They don’t get hints. However, they have big egos and like to take charge.
The problem that most men have when approaching a women is they fear rejection. So…all you have to do is open the door for him. Make it easier for him to converse with you. Don’t take his role, just encourage him along. How do you do that? You achieve this by outwardly flirting with him. You would be surprised what you can do without saying a word. Men aren’t always the best with communicating verbally, but most are pretty clear with physical communication. So, you need to improve on expressing your emotions through communicating through body language.
First make eye contact. Make sure that he gets it. You should confirm 3 sure glances. Each time smile, with her chin down and your eyes up. If he is away from you wave at him.
Once he approaches you smile, and flick your hair back. Make some small talk, but do it in a hurry. You want to talk to him just long enough for him to be intrigued to get to know more about you. Then, you find a reason for why you have to leave, this creates a sense of urgency.
Follow this up with giving him your number. Let him know that you are looking forward to his call as you enjoyed your conversation. Then, leave. Get out of dodge.
As far as you being scared, or nervous oh well, you have to work through it. You cannot get what you want by hanging in the stands. You have to get in the game and play. That is just the way it is. Be confident and go get yo’ man girl!
So heres the deal, my boyfriend broke up with me 3 weeks ago. I cried my eyes out when he did. He said we fought too much and that the respect was gone.. because i got mad at him one day and took his card and used money on it, he got mad at me for that and said he could ot trust me again.
I think that helped make his choice of breaking up much easier. The day we broke up he told me that i meant alot to him and that i would always had a place in his heart. one week later.. i was just sitting in my room, he suddenly called me, asking ” can i pick you up, and than we can go over to my house” , ” I love you “, and I miss you. But than i came to realize he was drunk.. so i knew he had been to a party and i was afraid that he had been doing something with someone else, so i was crying my eyes out on the phone but i tried to be strong. he kept asking me if everything was ok. 30 minutes later he showed up at my house telling me how much he loves me and i am the most important person to him, and ill always be his girl..he for the first time said “I LOVE YOU”
I was shocked. did not know if i should be happy or sad, the fact that he said it when he was drunk. I invited him in.. he slept till the next day. I thounght he didn’t remember anything, but when he woke up he said he remembered everything. Then he left he asked me if i wanted to join the beach later with him. I said yes, but that did not happen because when he went home he slept and later his friends came over, and the weather was not very good soo.
It sound like he was having fun when i called him, it kills me inside to know that his is having fun and i am the one hurting. Am i selfish for feeling like that… 2 days later i called him and he was going to a party again.. he parties almost every weekend these days, he never did that when we where together. I was the one doing the partying. So the fact that hes out having fun makes me think hes missed doing “fun things”, and that hes trying to get over me faster than he should, that hurts me.
We talked for 5 minutes and he had to go, i said to him that i love him, and he said he loved me too. since than i have not spoken to him about.. the night him came to my place… i mean should i ask him if he ment ” i LOVE YOU” I dont know what to do .. i cry my self to sleep almost every night. I love him and i want to be with him. Why cant everything between us be dealt with… isn’t that how love is suppose to be…
Hello Hawa,
No, this is not how love is suppose to be. The main issue that you all are having in your relationship is you all don’t have trust.
A solid relationship is built on trust and good communication. He does not trust you, and you do not trust him. Yes, it is selfish of you to not want him to go out and have fun, but it is only normal for you to feel that way. You don’t want him to go on without you and the thought of that hurts. This relationship is unstable and it cannot continue this way. If you want this to work you too are going Ro have to build trust in your relationship.I Hope This Helps!Chauntel
I’m a massive fan of your channel, I love it! and i find everything so useful and always cheers me up! 🙂
I need your advise on a few things because I have 3 older brothers and no mum so never get any advise, so I always look to you as a big sister 🙂 I like this boy, but he use to fancy my friends, so he became friends with me so he could spend more time with my friend who I fancied, this happened twice and I’m not sure if he likes me as a friend or just using me? cos I really like him, what should I do???
and I also like this guy who lives 5 hours away from me and its really hard, we skype every week but I miss him always cheering me up, what should I do? and I’m always feed up as guys fancying me when they meet me but not when I get to know them cos I’m out going and stuff, should I change myself?
well I hope you can help,
from your little sister
Beth 🙂
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by imagerymajestic
Hello Little Sister Beth 🙂
I am so glad that my videos have been helpful to you. I hope they continue to be so. I am sorry that you do not have a mom. I like how you say it better though, mum. However, I am glad that in-spite of all of that, you are a strong beautiful young women and God has allowed us to cross paths.
With that said, it would take a lot of energy for this guy to use you simply to get to your friend. However, people do this sort of thing all the time. I wouldn’t worry about it too much. Just keep your eye on him to see if he is just keeping a relationship with you to keep her around. If you feel that way you should just talk to him about it. Friends should talk these things through, that’s how friendships get stronger.
As for the guy who lives far away, it sounds like you all are building a great friendship and that is wonderful. However, I wouldn’t worry too much about trying to be boyfriend and girlfriend with him. You are so young, and a long distance relationship at your age just doesn’t quite make sense.
However, keep your friendship and who knows what will happen in the future.
As, for changing yourself. If you watch my videos you know better than to ask this question. You are beautiful just the way you are. Nothing, and no one should try to change that. The second a guy does, you drop him. You deserve to be loved for who you are, and if you don’t who else will?
I’m in love in this one guy, but I don’t know how get him to like me.
I’ve seen lots of your videos but i’ve tried to do your advice but it won’t help.
I’m 14 , asian, and i have glasses.
Sometimes, I feel really ugly because i think that i have a very big nose and small eyes && when i’m smiling my nose looks even bigger, i’m always wearing glasses because i look gross without them because i have small eyes. I really need your help. I want know how i can change myself or do something to get a boyfriend.
Hi Mila,
I have never been to Germany, but I assume that there aren’t many Asians where you go to school. With that being said, it is a constant battle for you to gain a sense of self identity.
I can relate to that. Many times throughout elementary, middle school, high school, and college I was the only black chic in the class. In college I had Asian roommates. Many of the times they were foreign exchange students from Korea and Japan. What I learned from my international roommates and friends is that Asian women like all other women, are constantly comparing themselves to other women.
Please, stop doing that. So what you have small eyes? I have small eyes too, and they get even smaller when I smile. Putting glasses on as a shield is not going to make your eyes look any bigger or make your nose appear any smaller.
What you have to do is embrace what God has given you. You can use light make up to make your eyes appear bigger, using eyeshadow and eye liner. You can also choose hairstyles that are flattering to your face.
And no, I do not want to see you change your face. I know we live in the days of plastic surgery and photoshop. So you are comparing yourself to what appears to be beautiful, but it’s just not real.
You are real and more than anything to attract a guy you need to build confidence within yourself. No guy wants to be with a girl who doesn’t have confidence. It is unattractive. So what do you do, stop hiding and embrace who you are. Know that we all have flaws. Nobody is perfect. God made you just the way you are for a reason, and please don’t compare yourself to others. I take the quote from a movie “Why try so hard to fit in, when you were born to stand out.”
There’s this girl I like at my school. She has a boyfriend but they broke up and got back together again. He did something bad that almost made her break up with him. I have information that could make her break up with him what should I do. I really like her and I’ve come to a conclusion that she may also like me, I know this because of her body language. I’ve written her secret admirer notes. I saw her read one, the next day she was really happy. She dyed her hair frome red to black, I asked her why and she said she needed change in her life. Should I give her the information.
Hello Lemon Head,
If the information you have to share with her deals with her physical health then yes you should share it with her. Otherwise, you should not share this information with her. She will most likely become defensive of him. Thus, you will end up in the dog house with her.
The best way to approach this situation, is express to her that you don’t think he is the best for her. Then be there for her and when the time is right, express interest in her. Use this opportunity to let her know that you respect her relationship, but that you think she should know how you feel.
The key here is making sure that you choose the right time. Then, you have to wait it out from there, but keep your options open.
BUT DON’T….and I repeat DON’T be clingy. It is unattractive. Just be sweet and then be somewhat unavailable. That will make you seem more interesting to her, and she will be more intrigued to get to know you better, you dig?
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