Reply to Ask E. Jean: It’s Hard For Me To Be Around My Pregnant Friends by Ask Chauntel

Hello my Beautiful Jewels & Gems,

I wanted to share my response to Ask E. Jean Caroll’s advice column. Here is the question:

Dear E. Jean: I have a wonderful two-year-old who is the absolute light of my life, and a husband I adore. I love being a mom and desperately wish to expand our family. However, I have suffered three miscarriages in the past 10 months (despite testing and treatment for a blood-clotting disorder linked to miscarriage), in addition to losing my father. At the moment, I am hurting too much from all this loss and need to take a break from trying for another child, and I’m also recognizing that it may not be in Mother Nature’s cards for us to have another. (It took almost two years to conceive my daughter, so fertility has never come naturally for me.)

The problem is, nearly all my friends are pregnant right now and I’m finding it incredibly hard to be around them. Watching their bodies change is a constant reminder of where I should have been had any of my pregnancies lasted. I don’t want to cut myself off socially, especially in a time of such grief, but I find it very painful to see such abundant fertility around me. What can I do, short of finding an entirely new group of friends? —Heartbroken

Ask Chauntel Response:

Dear Heartbroken,

Big Picture Idea: Wow, how how much loss you have experienced in such a short amount of time. I cannot even imagine losing a baby at 10 months. What joy you must of had in your heart for this little one to loose them so quickly. I too had a miscarriage, but mines was at 6 weeks. That feeling of pain when you loose your unborn child is nothing that can be described in words.

I also cannot imagine the pain that you must have felt with that experience toppled with the loss of your father. You are a strong woman, and you will overcome this. Take it one day at a time and reflect on the great memories you have with your father. Be comforted that this life is only temporary, and you can see him again. In this season of your life, much prayer and ceasing after God that is going to help you overcome the daily weight that you carry on your shoulders.

Practical Application: To answer your question specifically, no you absolutely do not get a set of new friends. Instead, you call on the Holy Spirit, your comforter, and ask him to make you whole again. If you need to take some time away from your friends that is understandable, but do not take too much time because we need each other for love and strength. Pain becomes even more painful alone.

All you need to do is give yourself time, time to mourn, and time to feel. Whatever you do, do not bottle this pain up inside. Find away to express yourself. Know that your two-year-old daughter is full of life and needs you so much. She will give you the strength to get through it. Not only that, when the time is right God will bless you with another baby for her to play with.

Don’t rush anything take this in stride, and know that to everything there is a season. You will slowly overcome your pain enough to be around those friends again. What God has for you, it is for you so you do not have to envy your friends, even with slow inferility you have so many blessings in your life. Be content with what he has given you and you will receive all the more.

I Hope This helps!

If you would like to read E Jean’s response click here.

Here is the story on my miscarriage:

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Hey Jewels please leave your advice and comments below on Hearbroken’s question.

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What is Love with a Covert Narcissist Husband? Advice Columnist Relationship Question – Ask Chauntel

Welcome to my advice columns, we discuss “What is love,” with a narcissist husband. I am Advice Columnist and Relationship Coach, Ask Chauntel.

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Should I Ask My Ex-Girlfriend for Money – Relationship Questions – Advice Column – Ask Chauntel

Today let’s dive into relationship questions Jewels! We have an advice column question from Peter.

28-year-old Peter from New Jersey, US writes:

Hi Chauntel,

What do you personally think if a man were to ask his Ex Girlfriend for
money? Do you think it is wise?

My Follow-up question to Peter,

What is the relationship with the girlfriend?

His response: To be honest she was sweet & caring but unfortunately cheated.

Hey Peter,

When a man breaks-up with his girlfriend that means that all ties that he had to her should be broken unless there was some other agreement between the two individuals. Considering the reason for the break-up, a clean break was likely. The exception to this rule is if there is a child involved. Otherwise, it will be difficult from him to move on.

Your question was written in the third person, but let’s just assume that man is you. Now, I am going to talk in the first person.

It is unwise for you to ask your ex girlfriend for money especially when she has cheated on you. It will only complicate things further within the relationship. It might well be the reason she cheated in the first place. Women like to trust their men as the provider. Once you start using her as a financial crutch you have lost that respect.

So pick up a second job, get a side hustle, go to your family and friends in a pinch, not to her. In a woman’s mind, he should be taking care of things. He should at least be able to stand on his own two feet. You are not standing on your own two feet if you are needing money from her.

If you start this process it is likely to become a pattern, and it is not one that I want to see you begin for yourself. The time is now to make a change in your life where you can provide for a woman, not depend on a woman to provide for you.

Let Me Know if This Helps!


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Christian Dating – Should I Date My Best friend?

20-year-old Morgan from PA writes in for some Christian dating advice from the advice column, and she writes:

Hi Chauntel!

So I have recently started dating a guy I put in the friend zone several times throughout the years of our great friendship. We truly were and still are each others best friends and have always confided in one another. We have been dating for almost 5 months now and we have been doing this long distance because of his commitment to the Military.

Before our relationship started I let my values, beliefs and morals known. Because I have been his “dream girl” for many, many years he said I will be okay with that because I just want to have you. During this beginning stage of interviewing, I asked Jesus into my heart and devoted my life to him. Since doing so I have felt a growing need for my S.O to be on a similar page as me.

I know that God has it covered when it comes to my boyfriend asking Jesus into his heart and believing in the beautiful sacrifice he made for everyone good and bad in the world. I am just beginning to feel insecure about just waiting for that to happen. I’m feeling most secure now because he deploys in a month for 6 months and I feel like I need to know where he is and what he understands about the Christian faith before he deploys to see if it is worth it to continue courting one another.

I am worried of letting myself go through the emotional turmoil of a deployment and it not being worth it. I am also insecure that my boyfriend fell in love with my looks before my character so I’m worried that he sees me as his future wife for the wrong reasons. I’m just a mess clearly. Please send help lol.

Hi Morgan,

I think it is wonderful that you let your values and beliefs known at the beginning of the relationship. I also believe that it is great that you are his “dream girl”, and he accepts you for who you are. However, that alone isn’t going to be enough for the plan that God has for your life.

And yes… I totally agree with the fact that you want to figure this out before he deploys. It wouldn’t make since to make a commitment to a long distance relationship unless you know that it is something that you want to pursue or truly want to invest into.

So, see where he is with his Christian faith. Then, encourage him to build a relationship with God. Just ensure that he is doing it for him, not just to be in a relationship with you. If he does so, then his motivation will not last.

It could be that you help sow the seed for him to build a deeper relationship with God, or you may find out that his heart isn’t in it. At this point, we don’t know. What we do know is, at this point, you two are unequally yoked, and that will cause many challenges in the future.

The Bible tells us to be equally yoked so that our light can shine brighter. The Bible verse is below!

I hope it helps!  Hey Jewels feel free to leave your advice in the comment section below. 

Chauntel xoxo

2 Corinthians 6:14 King James Version (KJV)

14 Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness?


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This video shares how to have a better marriage beyond your sexual relationship. If you are a Christian women looking for relationship advice and want it from a Christian girl perspective, then check out this video!


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I give some Christian relationship advice for couples as we discuss Will and Jada’s convo on Red Table Talk this week. I would love to know what you thought about what they shared about their relationship.

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