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Today let’s dive into relationship questions Jewels! We have an advice column question from Peter.
28-year-old Peter from New Jersey, US writes:
What do you personally think if a man were to ask his Ex Girlfriend for money? Do you think it is wise?
My Follow-up question to Peter,
What is the relationship with the girlfriend?
His response: To be honest she was sweet & caring but unfortunately cheated.
When a man breaks-up with his girlfriend that means that all ties that he had to her should be broken unless there was some other agreement between the two individuals. Considering the reason for the break-up, a clean break was likely. The exception to this rule is if there is a child involved. Otherwise, it will be difficult from him to move on.
Your question was written in the third person, but let’s just assume that man is you. Now, I am going to talk in the first person.
It is unwise for you to ask your ex girlfriend for money especially when she has cheated on you. It will only complicate things further within the relationship. It might well be the reason she cheated in the first place. Women like to trust their men as the provider. Once you start using her as a financial crutch you have lost that respect.
So pick up a second job, get a side hustle, go to your family and friends in a pinch, not to her. In a woman’s mind, he should be taking care of things. He should at least be able to stand on his own two feet. You are not standing on your own two feet if you are needing money from her.
If you start this process it is likely to become a pattern, and it is not one that I want to see you begin for yourself. The time is now to make a change in your life where you can provide for a woman, not depend on a woman to provide for you.
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20-year-old Morgan from PA writes in for some Christian dating advice from the advice column, and she writes:
So I have recently started dating a guy I put in the friend zone several times throughout the years of our great friendship. We truly were and still are each others best friends and have always confided in one another. We have been dating for almost 5 months now and we have been doing this long distance because of his commitment to the Military.
Before our relationship started I let my values, beliefs and morals known. Because I have been his “dream girl” for many, many years he said I will be okay with that because I just want to have you. During this beginning stage of interviewing, I asked Jesus into my heart and devoted my life to him. Since doing so I have felt a growing need for my S.O to be on a similar page as me.
I know that God has it covered when it comes to my boyfriend asking Jesus into his heart and believing in the beautiful sacrifice he made for everyone good and bad in the world. I am just beginning to feel insecure about just waiting for that to happen. I’m feeling most secure now because he deploys in a month for 6 months and I feel like I need to know where he is and what he understands about the Christian faith before he deploys to see if it is worth it to continue courting one another.
I am worried of letting myself go through the emotional turmoil of a deployment and it not being worth it. I am also insecure that my boyfriend fell in love with my looks before my character so I’m worried that he sees me as his future wife for the wrong reasons. I’m just a mess clearly. Please send help lol.
I think it is wonderful that you let your values and beliefs known at the beginning of the relationship. I also believe that it is great that you are his “dream girl”, and he accepts you for who you are. However, that alone isn’t going to be enough for the plan that God has for your life.
And yes… I totally agree with the fact that you want to figure this out before he deploys. It wouldn’t make since to make a commitment to a long distance relationship unless you know that it is something that you want to pursue or truly want to invest into.
So, see where he is with his Christian faith. Then, encourage him to build a relationship with God. Just ensure that he is doing it for him, not just to be in a relationship with you. If he does so, then his motivation will not last.
It could be that you help sow the seed for him to build a deeper relationship with God, or you may find out that his heart isn’t in it. At this point, we don’t know. What we do know is, at this point, you two are unequally yoked, and that will cause many challenges in the future.
The Bible tells us to be equally yoked so that our light can shine brighter. The Bible verse is below!
I hope it helps! Hey Jewels feel free to leave your advice in the comment section below.
2 Corinthians 6:14 King James Version (KJV)
14 Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness?
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