Being Bullied and Insecure About Myself

14-year-old Nancy writes:

Hi Chauntel!

So I’m watching your videos right now and I thought it is a good idea to write an email to you.
It’s not going to be an email about boys or something like that. It’s about me and my self-esteem.
When I look at the mirror I don’t see anything bad. But people in my school are bully me because
of my large and bulging (REALLY bulging) eyes. I’m only 14 and I can’t deal with it. What should I do?
Hi Nancy,
It’s funny that it’s your eyes that you point out because I have just the opposite problem. My eyes are so small. When I smile they almost completely go away. In fact when I was a baby my family asked my mom if she was sure that she had taken home the right baby because they thought I looked Chinese.
The reality is, we all have something about ourselves that Make us stand out. However, God made us just the way we are for a specific purpose. Lucky for me I was able to see your picture when you wrote in. What the kids at school don’t know or quite understand is that your beauty is in your eyes.
After reading your question I took a look at your photo, and let me tell you those eyes of yours could take you far in modeling. I am not sure how tall you are, but if you are at leastt 5’9″ you should really consider high fashion modeling. Here is an excellent resource that I found: http:http://www.exploremodeling.com/ If you are not that tall, not to worry they’re are other areas of modeling. However, don’t go into that unless you develop thick skin. I just wanted to mention this to you as an option because I think you’re beautiful and you should give it a try.
Now to address your question specifically, what do you do? You take what they say with a grain of salt. Kids at school are always gonna find something mean to say about each other. It was like that for me, and it is going to be like that for you. If you embrace your beautiful eyes they will eventually leave you alone about it. The only reason they continue to tease you is they know that they are getting to you. If you truly begin to love your eyes, and let what they say role off your sleeve they will notice your confidence and hopefully buzz off.
I was never good with coming up with ways to talk back to people so I would just ignore them or walk away. I know it really hurts. but this is only for a season. It gets better, and once your modeling they will make fun of you because of their jealousy.
So what’s the moral of the story here? People talk, ignore them. You choose your destiny not them. You have the power to wake up every morning and love what you see in the mirror.
By the way here are some successful models with eyes like yours (:
Google both of them. You will see how much of a splash they have made in history, past and present.

9 Things a Girl Should Never Say to Her Boyfriend!

10 is laugh at him! Chauntel gives women advice on 9 things they should never say to their boyfriend. Funny! Watch! askchauntel@gmail.com http://www.askchauntel.com

What to Wear on a First Date – Fashion Advice – Ask Chauntel

Chauntel shares tips on what you should think about when selecting your outfit for a first date. What should you wear for what occasion. What should you consider? Watch!
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Choosing a College Major: How Did You Like Psychology?

21-year-old Saleh writes:

Hi Chauntel

How are you? I hope you are doing fine. I hesitated a lot before emailing you because first I have never sought advice from someone online second I think my problems are typical and you have talked about some of them in your videos.

Im a 21 year engineering student this is my first semester and I hate it I am planning to change my major but I do not know to what. I do not know what I really like and want in life.

As far as I know you are a psychology major right? How was that was it easy? I like psychology and I had some major quizzes and personality test online and they say that I should major in psychology my personality type is INFJ

I am alson homosexual and never been in a relationship I lack confidence and self-esteem I hate myself and my life I am so miserable I want to feel love I want someone who likes me the way I am.

Screen Shot 2013-07-02 at 1.58.06 PMHi Saleh,

I am glad that you took the time to email me.

I am doing well thank you. I have been having a lot of fun responding to questions since I graduated from graduate school. It has given me the opportunity to put ideas into action.

Finding out what you like, and want in life takes time. You don’t just wake up one day and instantly know who you are. It takes time. However, you need to play an active role in the process. you should be constantly looking into new things and learning about yourself. Be patient, it will take you time to figure that out.

I assume that you watched my video I made a few years ago on choosing a college major. I therefore, will not repeat everything I said in that video. If you have not seen it, I will paste it below. The gist of it is, take classes in different areas and see what peaks your interest and where you think you could see yourself. Once you have began to narrow down areas of interest by taking classes and personality and career tests go visit a counselor in that department.

They should be able to give you more information on jobs in the field and different areas you can pursue within the field. Very soon, I will also be offering a coaching workshop for this topic.

In the meantime, let me answer the rest of your questions.

Yes, I was a psychology major. I have earned my BA and MA in psychology. Was it easy, no. LOL. Psychology is hard, but I was intrigued by it and stuck with it. To be a psychology major you have to be a good writer, researcher, and reader. You also will learn how to run statistical analysis. Most psychologist are  in the field to help people. There are so many fields of psychology that you can purse. However, if you are thinking of going into this field because you think it’s easy, go in another direction.

Don’t just choose a major because it sounds good. Do so because you actually like it and can see yourself working in the field. Otherwise you are just waisting your time and money. Also, don’t keep changing majors, try to actually figure out what you want to do, then change your major.

When it comes to counselors or advisors, sometimes they care and sometimes they don’t so know your stuff for yourself. And even after taking a career test, ensure that you agree. Don’t just major in something because the career test told you, or because your counselor said their major was the best at the college.

To respond to the last part of your question, before you go looking for someone else to love you. You need to love yourself. That is like saying you want to run before you can crawl. First of all, it is a bad idea, and second it is impossible. It will end badly. I have a video below on how to gain self confidence.

I Hope This Helps!

Chauntel

askchauntel@gmail.com

http://www.askchauntel.com

VIDEO: First Date Tips

What should girls do to get a guy to ask them out. Chauntel sits down with her cousin Avrum and talks about his first date. What should guys do to show a girl a good time? Watch! askchauntel@gmail.com

How to Get a Guy To text You Back!- Fun Friday

If a guy isn’t texting what should you do to get him to text back? What should you say?
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Article: 5 Tips to Text a Boy/Girl That You Just Met
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Is He Using Me for My Friend?

15-year-old Beth from England writes:

Hello Chauntel!

I’m a massive fan of your channel, I love it! and i find everything so useful and always cheers me up! 🙂

I need your advise on a few things because I have 3 older brothers and no mum so never get any advise, so I always look to you as a big sister 🙂 I like this boy, but he use to fancy my friends, so he became friends with me so he could spend more time with my friend who I fancied, this happened twice and I’m not sure if he likes me as a friend or just using me? cos I really like him, what should I do???

and I also like this guy who lives 5 hours away from me and its really hard, we skype every week but I miss him always cheering me up, what should I do? and I’m always feed up as guys fancying me when they meet me but not when I get to know them cos I’m out going and stuff, should I change myself?

well I hope you can help,
from your little sister
Beth 🙂
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by imagerymajestic

Hello Little Sister Beth 🙂

I am so glad that my videos have been helpful to you. I hope they continue to be so. I am sorry that you do not have a mom. I like how you say it better though, mum. However, I am glad that in-spite of all of that, you are a strong beautiful young women and God has allowed us to cross paths.

With that said, it would take a lot of energy for this guy to use you simply to get to your friend. However, people do this sort of thing all the time. I wouldn’t worry about it too much. Just keep your eye on him to see if he is just keeping a relationship with you to keep her around. If you feel that way you should just talk to him about it. Friends should talk these things through, that’s how friendships get stronger.

As for the guy who lives far away, it sounds like you all are building a great friendship and that is wonderful. However, I wouldn’t worry too much about trying to be boyfriend and girlfriend with him. You are so young, and a long distance relationship at your age just doesn’t quite make sense.

However, keep your friendship and who knows what will happen in the future.

As, for changing yourself. If you watch my videos you know better than to ask this question. You are beautiful just the way you are. Nothing, and no one should try to change that. The second a guy does, you drop him. You deserve to be loved for who you are, and if you don’t who else will?

I Hope This Helps!

Chauntel

http://www.askchauntel.com

askchauntel@gmail.com

How to Talk to Women When You are Nervous or Shy

Chauntel explains why guys that fear talking to women struggle to connect with a girl. What must you do to get her attention? Where are you going wrong? There is an answer! Watch! askchauntel@gmail.com. How to To Talk to Women- Conversation Topics http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KGXDUe…

What Do My Dreams Mean?

Deidra writes:

Hey Chauntel,

I’m new to your video’s on youtube and well i could use some advice…..i’ve had this dream not to long ago and i don’t get what the song means the only thing that i remember is that it goes ” someone is waiting for me, somewhere over the sea.” and idk what it means can u help thanks and i love ur advice!!!

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Hi Deidra,

Dreams represent your subconscious.

Sometimes dreams are given from God to foretell  the future. There are various texts in the Bible about prophecy through dreams. One example is when God gave Joseph a dream of what would happen between he and his brothers. The story went that his brothers would sell him as a slave. It happened not too long after. You an read about it, in Genesis 37:1-36

BUT….most of the time, dreams are just random thoughts that intertwine with people or things in your life. Maybe you have been thinking about love. Maybe you have been dreaming about traveling. One cool thing to do is, when you have a dream write it down. Then come back to it and see if you are having patterns in your dreams. You may find an interesting phenomena.

Take this opportunity to go out on a vacation with your family, and give yourself the opportunity to meet more new and interesting people.

It sounds like your subconscious is trying to tell you that you are in need of some love and adventure. The way this works is sometimes we get so busy in life, or we just don’t pay attention to what we are in need of because we are caught up in other things. Take time to reflect and enjoy every second of life! There may be thoughts going through your mind that you are not paying much attention to that could reveal amazing adventures that you are destined to embark upon. If nothing else, write them down. It’s a great way to be creative and write a song, poem, or even a short story!

Keep Dreaming!

Chauntel

http://www.askchauntel.com

askchauntel@gmail.com