I have a problem most girls probably have if they have an older brother. I like one of his friends, but I’m not sure what to do because sometimes he seems interested in me and other times he doesn’t.
What should I do? Is it wrong to date one of my brother’s friends?
Thanks 🙂
by Sicha Pongjivanich
Hello Katey!
Of course you can date one of your brother’s friends. However, you should talk to your brother first and see if he is ok with it. There is no use in starting a fight between you and your brother over a guy. Your relationship with your brother is very important.
Also, if you start something up with this guy just keep in mind that he was your brother’s friend first. So if things go sour, you will probably have to deal with the awkwardness of seeming him around. If you are ok with that and your brother gives his blessing go for it!.
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My boyfriend wants to kiss me he was going to today, but I got really nervous and chickened out. What are some tips you can give me? How do I start the kiss? Do I just continue kissing till he stops? How do I prepare?
Hope you can help!
by photostock
Hi Abby!
You should only kiss him when you are ready. There is no rush in this. I say let him be the initiator. He is the guy, so let him take the lead. Don’t time it or anything just let it happen naturally and go for as long as it seems appropriate.
Just know your limits. Before you go into this “first-kiss” situation know what you are comfortable with and not comfortable with. For example, don’t let his hands roam. They need to stay above the waste and away from your “special” areas. This video that I recorded should also be helpful!
During break my friends and I go to the gym and play basketball. I recently started noticing this guy who is in grade 12, and is 17. I’m in grade 10 and 15. He is really religious so I know he has great morals and such.
I was wondering your opinion on this situation, and how I would make him notice me and eventually get to know him?
Hi Brooklyn!
Well, if you see him at the gym start up a conversation there. See if you can get a game going between his and your friends. The fact that he is religious is a good thing. Hopefully, you all have the same beliefs. Be yourself, play a game with him, or if he happens to be in the middle of a game try to set one up at a later time. Give him your number and let him know that he can text you to set something up later, on downtown. Then see if he does. If he doesn’t then you know he isn’t really interested. If he does that is a great sign! Play the game and flirt with him during and after.
Then invite him out with your friends to casually grab something to eat afterwards. Be sure to sit with him, and let him know that you had a great time, and would like to talk to him more.
I was hoping for advice on how to get my life on track and be healthy, happy again after being completely depressed and devastated from my ex of one year breaking up with me. Life has just been really hard lately, and I just have no motivation for anything anymore. Thank you so much Chauntel!
Hi Clarissa,
Thanks so much for your question. When relationships don’t work out the way that we would like for them to,it can be very painful. Sometimes when that hurt goes really deep within us we can slowly become more and more depressed.
It is for this reason that some people are afraid to get into committed relationships. They are afraid of getting hurt. However, we cannot allow our emotions to define our actions. We must push through them until we reach a place of acceptance and let go of what once was to feel what is.
You remember the good times, and keep those memories, then you make the decision to create new ones.
Here is the reality. Love is beautiful, and when it leaves we will feel pain. Instead of allowing the pain to overtake us we must take each relationship as a learning experience, and learn from them what we can. Then we should begin focusing time on ourselves and finding what truly makes us happy.
Sometimes we may not feel like being happy. You may not have the appetite to eat, or have the energy to get out of bed, but we have to push through that. Eventually the pain will subside and you will actually begin enjoying the things that you used to, and even appreciate life that much more.
So, you have to push through it girl! You are going to get through this, and you have to believe that. It starts with you believing that you can, and just doing it. Wake up every morning with a smile on your face and eventually you will be happy. Prepare your favorite meal and you will eat it.
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OK so I’am a Junior in high school, but I really like this guy who is a Sophomore . How do i ask him out ? Should I ask him out ? We are always making eye contact and smiling at each other so should I take the next step and ask him out , or should I talk to him ? That’s the problem we always say hey to each other , but our conversation really doesn’t go past Hello. How do i talk to him.. HELP ME PLEASE
by franky242
Hello Paula,
The fact that you are at hello is a great start. Instead of outright asking him out you should encourage or inspire him to ask you out. That is the beauty of being a young woman, the power of influence.
He will perceive it as him doing the asking, but you will have done the initiating. How does this work? It’s simple.
Invite him to hang out with you and your friends. You can tell him that he can invite his buddies too. It can be a simple mall trip, miniature golf, or maybe even a trip to the bowling alley, choose a group date along those lines. Once you are out with him, be yourself and flirt with him casually.
If he enjoyed his time with you he will initiate a future hang out. I wish you love!
I’ve been dating this amazing guy for about 3 months. He’s almost 6 years older than me… he’s 27, and I’m a relationship type girl, and typically like older guys, who seem more ready for something serious. This guy pretty much took the reigns, and made the relationship a “relationship” quickly.
HOWEVER, he told me at the beginning that he was warming up to the relationship thing slowly because he had just gotten out of a long term relationship a year ago. But he kept making sure to reassure me that he was only seeing me and that although he isn’t a huge fan of labels. We had a relationship. He told me he wasn’t seeing anyone else and wasn’t going to. However, over the last month, he’s been different. Distant, not really trying to make plans to see me much, and he’s been overall just really grouchy and unhappy.
He’s now saying he is very depressed (which i’ve picked up on and he’s mentioned) and is asking for space… and I don’t really know how to handle this. “Space” and “time” could mean days, weeks, years? And does he even really want me to stick around, or do you think he’s trying to let me down easy? I wish he would open up and let me be there for him, but he is very out of touch with his feelings and wouldn’t have this conversation on the phone, even. We haven’t been talking too much, but communication hasn’t stopped and has mostly been about our situation. He claims to not want to tell me what to do because he doesn’t exactly know what he wants right now. He’s said that he still likes me and will continue to work on me, but that he needs to get himself happy before he can be happy with anyone else, and that he thinks separating would be best for now. I won’t sit around and wait forever, but I’m really heartbroken. I’m feeling like its a situation where I have to let him go, and if he comes back happy and healthy, it was meant to be?
[(here’s some extra info… maybe help you understand this more than me?)
When he asked for space, he said we’re frequently not on the same page with what we want out of the relationship (I’ve been wanting to meet his friends and have him meet my family), that he needs slow and casual because he cannot emotionally invest what i want out of him right now (i’ve been stupid to sleep with him, I know that now), that he’s never felt this depressed and needs to figure out his life and himself, and that he doesn’t think he’s ready for a relationship when he thought that was what the hole he was feeling inside was. He told me that I haven’t scared him off or done anything to make him feel this way, that I’m an amazing person he loves spending time with, that I make him so happy but he doesn’t make himself happy, and that he’s not going to disappear but he just needs time for himself.]
Hello Natalie,
First off, you go girl!
The man you are dating seems very mature and has a lot of introspection. Which means that he knows how to look within himself to see how he is feeling, and is aware of what he needs, which is great. He is also great at communicating his feelings to you, which I cannot say for most guys. I know that you are in a very frustrating situation, and believe it or not, you are both in a very vulnerable position.
You have two options. One you can wait for him until he is ready to be in a committed relationship, or two you can accept that he isn’t ready for commitment and explore other options to find that guy who wants what you want right now. Don’t forget you are 20, live a little 🙂
If this guy really holds value in your life, then be supportive of his space. How do you do that? Let him lead. How much is enough and how much is too much, when it comes to “space”? Well there is not a magic formula to this. You simply let him initiate most of the time: hangouts, phone calls, conversation, and all other contact. You will start to get a fill for what the “space” is that he wants.
You will probably go through this process until you get to the point where you want more. He will either give it to you or he won’t. But whatever you do, don’t force it. You will only turn him off.
Let him lead, or just be friends and go find what you are searching for!
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