self harm – Ask Chauntel

Leslie writes about NSSI, Non Suicidal Self Injury:

Hi Chauntel,

I hear you can help girls like me like to stop cutting. Well, my problem is that I am cutting cuz my friend raped me.

Hi Leslie,

Wow, I am so very, very sorry to hear that. I cannot imagine how you feel. I do however, want you to share this with someone that you know and trust, so that you can receive the help and support that you need.

Sometimes, we hurt ourselves to try to ease the pain that others have caused us. What you will learn is that hurting yourself will not ease the pain that you feel from that terrible experience.

I want you to know that God loves you more than you can imagine, and what happened to you is not your fault. You need to report whoever did this to you, for you and for anyone else who might be hurt by this person in the future.

I also, want you to seek some professional help to deal with overcoming the pain that this experience is causing in your life.

To get you started, I want to tell you that turning to self injury is not the answer. It will not take back what happened to you.

What I want you to do is take the power back in your life. Replace this negative behavior with a positive one. This way, you overcome this situation instead of beating yourself up about it.

You need to find out what is triggering you; what is causing you to want to harm yourself. It probably has a lot to deal with not dealing with your feelings.

Turn away from cutting yourself and turn your action into loving yourself and finding that love for yourself again. Do not let this person lead your life. Allow God to lead it for God is love.

You are the only one who can make the change in your life. You cannot erase what happened to you, but you have the power to choose how you will overcome it. I believe in you, and I know that you are greater than this situation. Thank you for being the voice of so many other girls like you. You have great courage, but you were not meant to overcome this alone.

Please, get support and prayer for what you are going through. My community is praying with and for you. I will provide some resources below.

May God bless you, and please know that you are not alone. There are unfortunately others who have been raped and abused, and they have overcome it. You can too. Here is a story of a girl you may relate to. Her story is different, but her coping of cutting herself is the same:

Thanks so much for writing me, it means the world to me.