How to Resist Temptation and Be Strong in God – Ask Chauntel

Have you ever come across a temptation that was so strong that you could not find a way out. How do you overcome these spiritual challenges? What does God tell us about this? Let’s take it straight to the scripture! Watch!

How to Re-establish Trust – Ask Chauntel

20-year-old KD from California writes,

Hi Chauntel,

I messed up a beautiful friendship I had with my producer’s wife by telling him something irrelevant. What I told him obviously crossed a line and I hurt his wife’s feelings. I didn’t mean to hurt her feelings nor betray her trust, but I did and I wanted to know what I could do to get her trust and friendship back? I miss the advice she used to give me. If you were me how would you approach her? Thank you so much 🙂

Image
by stockimages

Hello KD,

We all make mistakes. Although not impossible, trust can be a difficult thing to build once it has been broken. It takes time to rebuild, but it can be repaired with time and communication.

All you can do is apologize, communicate your feelings and give it time. A relationship, romantic or otherwise is give and take, so for this to work both of you have to work towards it. Meaning, the two of you have to be willing to work together to repair and re-establish your relationship.

Specifically, if I were you I would begin with a conversation with her directly. In person is best. On the phone is second best. Facebook messages and text messages can get a little gummy in these types of situations.

On one hand, words can destroy relationships, but if chosen wisely they can also repair relationships. With this in mind, you may find that it is impossible to repair some relationships. There is only way to know if this one will work out, how you may ask. You have to try.

So my advice is talk to her. If she doesn’t listen then she doesn’t care. If she takes time to listen, then the relationship has a shot at moving forward.

I Hope This Helps!

Chauntel

email questions to askchauntel@gmail.com

Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/chaunteldelgado
Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/askchauntel
Like Our Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/pages/Ask-Ch…
Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/chaunteldelgado

He is Afraid of Commitment – Relationship Advice

by david castillo
by david castillo

Stacey writes:

Hello Chauntel,

Me and this guy have been hanging out every single day since we met for the past 3 months. Everyone thinks that were a couple and in a relationship because of our chemistry and that we look good together. I have been embracing our friendship and enjoying our time together he hugs me too and kisses me in public hold me and treats me like his girlfriend his family even thinks we’re together. He did tell me that he had commitment issues but only recently did he say he doesn’t see us as a item meaning he was pulling the friend card on me. What does this mean and what should I do because I am completely confused on how to people can be so good together in one can’t see that.

Hi Stacey,

Well, if you continuously went into this knowing that he has commitment issues, you couldn’t expect anything more.

Now this is not to say, that you shouldn’t want more. Just because it may seem like you are together to other people and it may even feel like it to you sometimes you know the truth, you are not. Don’t torture yourself with pretending that this is not the reality.

You have complete control over this situation. Either you are going to accept this situation just as it is, or you are going to part ways with this guy.

If he doesn’t want to commit you cannot, nor should you force him to. Don’t waste too much time here. Treat it as a casual dating relationship and keep dating other guys. He needs to get his feelings together, then you might have a shot at a real relationship. Until then you may as well just have fun with no strings attached. I know this isn’t what you want, but it is what you have.

If you don’t want it anymore, then let him know. At that point he may or may not choose to continue a relationship with you, the type of relationship that you want.

I Hope This Helps!

Chauntel

email questions to askchauntel@gmail.com

Can I Date My Friend’s 1 Nightstand? – Dating Advice – Ask Chauntel

Brooke writes:

Hey Chauntel,

So I really like this guy and we both have expressed our feelings for each other over the phone. But there is a problem, my best friend who is basically my sister, hooked up with him last time we were out, she called him as her “tap and gap” and I appreciated that, because i didn’t know him then. But then we started talking over facebook all the time day and night, which led to phone calls and Skype calls. And I slowly grew feelings for him. He now walks me and my ‘best friend’ home once or twice week, and saying all the cute sh** every girl wants to hear. He gives me his beanie, and is apparently coming over to my house, but here’s the thing I ended up telling my best friend that I like him and she doesn’t like it. So she picks up all of my stuff (I was at her house) and throws it outside and tells me to get the f@%k out! So I do, and she slams the door and goes inside and cries for a good 20-30 minutes. She then tells me she likes him too. Oh, I forgot to tell you, the night we told each other we liked each other he also decided to tell me he likes her too.

We talked it out and now everything between me and him isn’t the same, we barely talk now, way less compared to what we normally do, and he is just acting different. He went from all the I trust you so much, I love you, I can’t believe your staying up so late for me, while telling me everything about himself, and knowing all the little details about me. And all the cute stuff they would normally say. And I really don’t know what to do, because I don’t want to loose my friendship between my best friend and my self but neither me and his relationship. I figured that if I slowly stop talking to him my feelings will go, but each and every moment of the day it kills me not talking, and I honestly need some advice on what to do. Please could you help me with what to do, I really want to get back to how we use to talk and the things we’d do together.

Thank you so much, Brooke xo


Image
Hi Brooke,

Let’s talk girl code here. You have to let this go. She has already had sex with him which cancels out your chances with him. How would you feel if you were in her position? No doubt you would be ferious of her if she tried dating him after you had slept with him.

To add to this nonsense, he obviously doesn’t know what he wants, but who even cares what he wants. He is causing unecessary confusion that could end your friendship. Which is more important, your friendship or this guy. Ultimately, you will have to decide.

But not to worry my dear, it won’t go too far. He is scum. Stop hanging out with him.

I Hope This Helps!

Chauntel

email questions to askchauntel@gmail.com

How Do I Get Him to Notice Me? – Love and Basketball -Ask Chauntel

Brooklyn writes:

Hi Chauntel,

During break my friends and I go to the gym and play basketball. I recently started noticing this guy who is in grade 12, and is 17. I’m in grade 10 and 15. He is really religious so I know he has great morals and such.

I was wondering your opinion on this situation, and how I would make him notice me and eventually get to know him?

ImageHi Brooklyn!

Well, if you see him at the gym start up a conversation there. See if you can get a game going between his and your friends. The fact that he is religious is a good thing. Hopefully, you all have the same beliefs. Be yourself, play a game with him, or if he happens to be in the middle of a game try to set one up at a later time. Give him your number and let him know that he can text you to set something up later, on downtown. Then see if he does. If he doesn’t then you know he isn’t really interested. If he does that is a great sign! Play the game and flirt with him during and after.

Then invite him out with your friends to casually grab something to eat afterwards. Be sure to sit with him, and let him know that you had a great time, and would like to talk to him more.

Good Luck!

I Hope This Helps!

Chauntel

email questions to: askchauntel@gmail.com

Let’s Stay Connected! Follow Me Everywhere!

My Boyfriend is a Jew, and I am a Christian – Relationship Advice – Ask Chauntel

15-year-old Summer from England writes:

Hello Chauntel!

I have a boyfriend who lives maybe 30 minutes away by train. We meet on a online chat room, and the same week we agreed to meet.
We have meet 3 times since. He’s 16 nearly 17. We have only known each other 5 weeks.
He asked me out on the second time we meet, and i said yes. I can’t tell my parents because they are really strong Christians and he is Jewish, they wont let me have a boyfriend, let alone a Jewish one. I don’t want to tell them just in case they don’t let me see him.
He has told all his friends and family that we are dating, but saying we meet at a party not online because he’s embarrassed of where we meet.
We Skype nearly everyday and i really really like him What should i do?!
Love from
Summer
xxxxxxxx

Mom and Daughter
Hello Summer,
When it comes to religion, it gets really gummy. I understand your dilemma. However, keeping him a secret is not the answer.
If you were of a marrying age my advice would be different(mostly run far away, This won’t work out., I wouldn’t touch this with a ten foot poll!), but since you are  so young this is how I would approach your situation.
Go to you parents and tell them that you are interested in dating someone. Let them meet him. Try to stray away from conversations about religion. Don’t lie to you parents. If they ask then you must be honest, but if they don’t ask then don’t bring it up. Here is the thing, sneaking around, having secret train rides is dishonest and not safe. Also, you will loose their trust, and this for you will be unbearable.
They will trust you much more if you let them know that you met someone. If after you have to told them the truth, they still ban you from talking to him because of your differing religions you must respect their wishes.
As children of God, we must obey our parents. It is written, Ephesians 6:1, “Children, obey your parents in the Lord for this is right.”
Also, I wouldn’t make too big a deal out of this. It would be unwise to get into a deeply rooted relationship with him because eventually you will have to part ways.
The Bible informs us that to be together we must be equally yoked. What does that mean?
It means you have to be of the same mind. Meaning amongst other things, same religion, same values. There is a scripture in Amos, that says (Amos 3:3) “How can two walk together unless they touch and agree.” Now it doesn’t mean literraly touch. This verse in symbolic. Meaning on the same level spiritually.
I know that this can be annoying as well as  seem unfair. I have been in your situation. I was a little older, but it was the same type of thing. I was dating a guy who was of a different denomination that me. I am deeply rooted in mine. We couldn’t agree, and fought a lot. I thought to myself, how can I be with a guy who doesn’t believe the same things as I do. What will my children believe? It was then that I decided it would not be a good idea to become too deeply involved with him. I dated him casually until I met the next guy. The end goal was to find a man that I could eventually marry. Which I did, and he is a catch :)!
Now, the religion title itself is not what matters. The belief system is what matters. As long as you go into your relationship with this understanding then I think you will be ok. But I recommend that you let your parents know that you are dating someone. Again, SNEAKING AROUND BEHIND THEIR BACKS IS NO THE ANSWER.
I Hope That Helps!
Chauntel
Email questions to askchauntel@gmail.com
Let’s Stay Connected! Follow Me Everywhere!

How to Find Happiness After a Break-up – Relationship Advice – Ask Chauntel

sad girl by ambro

15-year-old Clarissa writes:

Hi Chauntel!

I was hoping for advice on how to get my life on track and be healthy, happy again after being completely depressed and devastated from my ex of one year breaking up with me. Life has just been really hard lately, and I just have no motivation for anything anymore. Thank you so much Chauntel!

Hi Clarissa,

Thanks so much for your question. When relationships don’t work out the way that we would like for them to,it can be very painful. Sometimes when that hurt goes really deep within us we can slowly become more and more depressed.

It is for this reason that some people are afraid to get into committed relationships. They are afraid of getting hurt. However, we cannot allow our emotions to define our actions. We must push through them until we reach a place of acceptance and let go of what once was to feel what is.

You remember the good times, and keep those memories, then you make the decision to create new ones.

Here is the reality. Love is beautiful, and when it leaves we will feel pain. Instead of allowing the pain to overtake us we must take each relationship as a learning experience, and learn from them what we can. Then we should begin focusing time on ourselves and finding what truly makes us happy.

Sometimes we may not feel like being happy. You may not have the appetite to eat, or have the energy to get out of bed, but we have to push through that. Eventually the pain will subside and you will actually begin enjoying the things that you used to, and even appreciate life that much more.

So, you have to push through it girl! You are going to get through this, and you have to believe that. It starts with you believing that you can, and just doing it. Wake up every morning with a smile on your face and eventually you will be happy. Prepare your favorite meal and you will eat it.

I Hope This Helps!

Chauntel

email questions to askchauntel@gmail.com

How to Get My Friend to Stop Drinking – Free Life Advice – Ask Chauntel

Jess writes:

Hi, Chauntel.

First off I want to thank you. You’ve been a major help to me and my friends. I don’t know if you’ve adressed this in any of your videos already, but I have a friend who’s 19 and she has started drinking… I’m really worried about her and I don’t know what to do. I’ve tried everything I could think of but nothing works. I’ve been so worried and there has been a lot of other things going on and I started cutting myself again. What do you think I should do? 😦
Hi Jess,
Here is the response to your question:

Vote: Ask Chauntel Viewer Poll

Hey guys! This is for you avid watchers. I would love your feedback. Please be honest.

Exclusive Interviews

Fun Fridays

New Video: 3 Keys to Preparing for a Healthy Relationship

Chauntel shares 3 key elements that you should consider when moving into a successful relationship! Have you been having a hard time choosing the right mate? Watch! http://www.askchauntel.com

Fashion Channel: http://www.youtube.com/chaunteldelgado

Follow Me:

Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/askchauntel
Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/askchauntel
Like Our Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/pages/Ask-Chauntel/107899835937155
Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/askchauntel