How to Re-establish Trust – Ask Chauntel

20-year-old KD from California writes,

Hi Chauntel,

I messed up a beautiful friendship I had with my producer’s wife by telling him something irrelevant. What I told him obviously crossed a line and I hurt his wife’s feelings. I didn’t mean to hurt her feelings nor betray her trust, but I did and I wanted to know what I could do to get her trust and friendship back? I miss the advice she used to give me. If you were me how would you approach her? Thank you so much ūüôā

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Hello KD,

We all make mistakes. Although not impossible, trust can be a difficult thing to build once it has been broken. It takes time to rebuild, but it can be repaired with time and communication.

All you can do is apologize, communicate your feelings and give it time. A relationship, romantic or otherwise is give and take, so for this to work both of you have to work towards it. Meaning, the two of you have to be willing to work together to repair and re-establish your relationship.

Specifically, if I were you I would begin with a conversation with her directly. In person is best. On the phone is second best. Facebook messages and text messages can get a little gummy in these types of situations.

On one hand, words can destroy relationships, but if chosen wisely they can also repair relationships. With this in mind, you may find that it is impossible to repair some relationships. There is only way to know if this one will work out, how you may ask. You have to try.

So my advice is talk to her. If she doesn’t listen then she doesn’t care. If she takes time to listen, then the relationship has a shot at moving forward.

I Hope This Helps!

Chauntel

email questions to askchauntel@gmail.com

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Should I Date My Friend? – Ask Chauntel

Ginny writes:

Hey Chauntel,

I asked u a question a few months ago and you gave me a great answer.  I was wondering if you could give me advice on another issue?

I use to have a crush on one of my friends ( haha but all the girls did at the time). We really got close this year and I really opened up to him. He really help me sort things out with my life and he’s always there ready to help with what ever. I started to except that we would just be best friends cause he never gave any indication to wanting more. While we were texting yesterday I asked who he liked and he said “guess”. I didn’t want to guess me cause I was afraid of rejection. so I kinda acted like I didn’t know what he was talking about. He said “the friend ” he liked that he thought God was pointing him to her and he thought that God made them get so close so he could see the similarities.

Me and him are soo similar. I’ve never had that kind of connection with ANYONE. Im just so confused bc we’ve been so close and I don’t want to try and lose my best friend but at the same time I’ve never been so compatible with anyone like I have with him. In a way I think of think its the right thing to do and I feel like god made our paths cross for a reason.¬† Can you give me any advice?¬† I’d really appreciate it. I don’t know what to do.

Hi Ginny,

God truly has a way of working in our lives. I truly believe the scripture that says, “All things work together for them that love the Lord,” found in Romans 8:28. If you continue to let God guide you he will take you exactly where you want to go in life. So continue to live in his will.

As for the guy, I think it is great that the two of you have built a friendship. In order for your relationship to grow you need a solid foundation in friendship. Since you have that you are already at a great start.

Here is my two sense. If you like him and he likes you, love is worth the risk. Please keep in mind that if you date your friend the dynamics of your relationship will change. The good news is, if it doesn’t work out ¬†you two will still have a good chance at being friends because you have built a solid foundation in your friendship!

I Hope This Helps!

Chauntel

askchauntel@gmail.com

http://www.askchauntel.com