I have a boyfriend, and we have already kissed. But now i think we will French Kiss. I really want to but don’t know how. I am really nervous and scared.
Please write me back if you can.
Big fan of yours. Love Anna
Hi Anna,
Thanks so much for your question. You made a very important statement, that you really want to. I want to make sure that, that is absolutely true because you should not be forced or encouraged into doing anything that makes you feel uncomfortable.
Now, I am not a kissing expert, haha. However, what I can tell you is that this is something that you learn in the moment. Just follow his lead, go with the flow. You will quickly learn.
Most importantly take it slow. There is nothing attractive about a forceful tongue, when force is not wanted or needed. So, don’t rush it just let it happen slowly. You will get the hang of it.
Remember, to protect yourself. His hands should stay around your waist, not above or below. If he tries any funny business. Politely move his hands back to where they should be. He will get the message. If not, there is something wrong with that picture.
Hello Jewels! This one is for all of my married ladies out there! I hope to be writing to you more often! So send me questions about your woes to askchauntel@gmail.com, or click contact above. So, we women have a lot of responsibility. The twenty first century woman is no less busy than her predecessors. Although, some of her tasks may have been made easier through modern technology, modern society has found a way to pile up the tasks even higher. They require time and energy. Let’s consider, a modern day women has to take care of the home, take care of herself, take care of her children, take care of her husband, and work a job. Now these big responsibilities are filled with many small ones, that shall remain nameless at this point. So how can a modern day women accomplish all of her responsibilities well, while still making her husband feel loved and appreciated and keep her head? Well let’s be honest, it is no easy suit. It really comes down to time management. Ok, so no body is perfect but spending some time planning and prioritizing your man’s needs into your life is essential. True, it is not that he doesn’t matter, even though he may begin to feel a little unappreciated at times. In fact it is quite the contrary. With the added responsibility of children and a job the husband can sometimes suffer a little bit of lost of our time. It is therefore, essential that we as women plan our time accordingly and keep time with him as a constant priority. Now, don’t stress yourself out in the process, just make a conscious effort to plan time with him. It may not work out perfectly everyday, but you have to give it a go. He will know if you are trying. The last thing that we want, is our man to feel that we could care less about him. So here is some friendly advice to keep his attention and his attraction on you. 1. Exercise – Now, we know beauty doesn’t last forever visually, but let’s help it as much as we can by keeping our body and health up. It will keep your body looking and feeling beautiful. 2. Have Some Me Time – Time to reflect, meditate, pray, relax is very essential to keeping your mind at ease. It will help you to stress out less. This will in turn keep down arguments between you and your spouse and children. It will also keep you from being high strung and naggy. 3. Spend Some Alone Time With Him Often – The two of you have to decide exactly how often is often, but you must have a weekly goal that you should try to reach on time that you spend alone together. 5. Have a Date Night– These should occur weekly. 6. Fulfill His Requests– Well you know what they are! Listen to his concerns and be sure to highlight those areas of you that he finds attractive. 7. Look Your Best– Just because you’re married it doesn’t mean your dead. So wear lingerie for him. Be cute around the house as much as you can! Just take care of yourself. 8. Compliment Him– Let him know how much you love and appreciate him! Compliment him on specific things that he does that you enjoy! Having a Hard time prioritizing and setting that goal? Check Out My Video:How to Set a Goal and Plan for Success
Well ladies, I hope this helps! Send questions to askchauntel@gmail.com Tweet/Insta @askchauntel
I love the show, and you give great advice. Even from both perspectives, but I just kind of need advice.
Every time I talk to girls they seem to be creeped out, like they’ll walk away slowly, give one answer response. When I approach girls I usually give a compliment or talk about the surroundings. For example i was talking to this girl and she was being weird about it. So I asked “why are you walking like I’m creeping you out?” And she said “cause you are” I’ll give them a compliment, and that’s when things go wrong.. Maybe I’m coming off too strong? Any advice to do when I’m this situation again. I want her to feel comfortable. It be amazing if you can help me. Thank you, take care.
by photostock
Hi Luis,
Thanks so much for your kind words! I am so glad that you enjoy the show! I decided to go ahead and share your question on my blog here. I also have a few videos that I have created related to this subject. I am not sure if you have seen them, but I will leave them below. Hopefully, you will find them helpful.
So, here is where I think the problem lies. When you approach a girl, small talk is ok, which it seems like you are doing. However, there also seems to be an awkwardness associated with your encounters.
You want to involve her in the conversation, and get her interested in what you are saying. Randomly giving her compliments is making her feel uncomfortable.
So for example the conversation could go something like:
Luis: “Wow isn’t today a beautiful day?”
Girl: “Yea, its really pretty today.”
Luis: “It it is made even more beautiful by your smile. My name is Luis. What is your name?”
(Luis reaches out hand out to shake Sarah’s hand.)
Girl: “Hi Luis, my name is Sarah.”
Luis: “Oh it is so nice to meet you Sarah.”
Sarah: “It’s nice to meet you too Luis.”
Luis: “So what does a beautiful girl like you have planned for this beautiful day?”
Sarah: “Oh thank you. Actually I am here to…….”
Luis: Responds to what Sarah has planning for the day
So, here you have introduced yourself nicely and given her a compliment. You also have gotten her involved in the conversation without creeping her out. Now this last conversation piece is key.
After you complete your small talk conversation, its time to seal the deal!
Let Sarah know that you have enjoyed your conversation, and you would like to talk to her more later. Then ask her for her phone number so you can “text her later”. If she doesn’t want to give you that ask her for her Facebook or Instagram. If she isn’t interested you will know because she will politely decline.
Not every girl will be interested in you. However, if you keep these things in mind and make her feel apart of the conversation it will help. Don’t drop random compliments it will make her feel uncomfortable.
Also, be careful what you are complimenting her about. Keep it simple, like telling her she is beautiful, or saying something nice about her smile or her eyes. Also, don’t let your eyes wonder all over her body when you are talking to her. Keep it at about eye level. Be calm and relax. If you are nervous, she will probably be able to tell, and it will make her more uncomfortable.
Women like men who are confident within themselves. See yourself as the cool guy. If you want her to believe it, you have to believe it first!
I Hope This Helps!
Chauntel
email questions to askchauntel@gmail.com Tweet/Insta @askchauntel
I d0n’t kn0w what do. I need advice. My husband is a drug abuser, and our relationship is not working. However, I love him and so do our children.
We have tried to come to an agreement, but it is useless. How long will I wait for him to be a good man and not always lie? I want to leave him, but its really hurtful. I don’t want to regret anything. I feel like it would be ruining my own family. I am also dealing with verbal abuse from him.
Please help me Chauntel!
Hi Lily Ann,
You are in a very difficult situation, and I am sorry that you have to endure such pain. However, I applaud you for admitting that this is a challenge in your life and seeking for a way to face it.
It is essential that your husband receives professional help. However, he has to be ready and willing to seek out this help. Neither you nor anyone else can make him change, it has to be a conscious decision that he wants to make in his life.
It reminds me of the metaphor, you can bring a horse to water, but you cannot make him drink.
So here is my advice to you, seek some spiritual counseling for yourself and for your children. If you are not involved in a church I think now is a great time to introduce yourself and your children to the comfort and support that God brings.
Then, I want you to utilize the resources around you to get your husband the help that he needs and deserves. If he is willing to receive help great, you guys can work towards a positive future. If you are not able to find resources around you. I have a list of Crisis Help Resources here on my website that should be of use to you. Here is the link.
In addition, if he is causing harm to you and your children and is not in the mindset to receive help or make a change you will have to part ways with him. I know that this is a very difficult situation to be in, and no wife wants to leave her husband. However, you have to consider you and your children’s safety and well being.
I hope that he is willing to receive help to break this bad habit and find spiritual peace within himself as well, but it is truly his decision to make.
You can bring him to the water of life, but he has to choose to follow you and take the steps necessary to try to make a better life for you and your children.
If he does not, he will leave you with no choice but to part ways.
I will be praying for you and your family. I hope it works out, and I wish you all the best!
Peace and Love!
Chauntel
email questions to askchauntel@gmail.com send questions to Insta/Twitter @askchauntel
Khloe Kardashian has endured a lot of heartache and pain during her time on “Keeping up with the Kardashians”. She has experienced a self-identity crisis, a quick and complicated marriage that was always under scrutiny, and a messy divorce. To top it all off her new relationship with, Moroccan born rapper, French Montana has encountered a change, from boyfriend to friend.
Khloe says that she and French Montana are still on good terms. In an interview with Us Weekly, Khloe stated: “I love memories…and I still talk to him. There’s no bad blood or anything.”
We can definitely take a few notes from Khloe. Relationships can be very tricky, romantic or otherwise. At times we do not control whether they will end well or cause grave confusion afterward. However, if we have a chance to preserve the integrity of the relationship we must take that chance.
Although, every romantic relationship will not endure to the end, we must do our best to make the best of the situation. Even-though two people may choose to part, they must do their best to keep the peace. If they burn the bridge between them, which once housed their relationship, they may find that one-day they need to revisit that path again, only to remember that their mistakes left them with nothing to return to. Even if the person you are with is not the bridge you need to cross, they may be connected to it. Which means that burning the first bridge, destroyed any possibility of crossing the next.
The 6 Degrees of Separation Theory can have a huge effect here. It explains that we are connected, the world over, and only separated by no more than 6 people between us. Scary if you think about it huh? Well, this further proves my point, don’t be that person that destroys everything and everyone in your path. Instead, take the high road, if for nothing else but a display of your great character. You will be a better person for it!
Peace and Love!
Chauntel
send questions and topics to askchauntel@gmail.com or Tweet/Insta @askchauntel
You give great advice and your point of view is different in a good way , at least to me it is. My question is very different I’m sure but w/e.
I’ve been seeing this beautiful girl she’s black and I’m half black myself, and our chemistry is perfect,everyone seems to think I’m really good looking and she tells me all the time.
I know she wants to get in bed with me for a fact the only reason it hasn’t happened yet is because I’m 6.5 inches long and I really wanted your opinion on this.
Like am I enough to leave her pleased, like i said very,but could you please write back to me, and understand I don’t mean to rude or gross at all.
I need to get rid of these nervous butterflies, I appreciate it thanks.
Hi Go Eww,
Thanks for your email, and for your kind words.
Here is my opinion, if you have watched enough of my videos you would know that although, I do my best to take a unbiased stance, my advice is given from my perspective.
With that in mind, you should also know that I am Christian. I believe that sex should be saved for marriage.
Moreover, to answer your question specifically, if you go into a physical relationship with her before there are real feelings there, it will be more of a physical expectation that she will have for you.
Meaning, if she considers your size too small for her it will be more of an issue if you go into a physical relationship too soon. If time passes, and you build feelings for each other your specific physical attributes will be less of a focus. Now, don’t get me wrong they will still have an impact, but it won’t be the only thing she has to base her decision on, on whether or not she wants to continue a relationship together.
Therefore, I recommend you wait to have sex, take it slow. If she really cares for you, she will accept you just the way God made you, just for who you are.
There is no need to be nervous, if its meant to be it will be. If she is not attracted to you it won’t work anyway. So, be confident in what you have and give the best version of yourself. That is all you can do.
If she doesn’t accept, well then on to the next! There will be another woman out there who will love every part of you and not want to change anything! You dig?
Ya, I know, I am going to get a lot of flack from this post.
So, I am sure that you have heard the Nick Cannon and Mariah Carey separated earlier this year. Before, I get into the particulars I would like to say, I am so sad about this split.
I think he is handling it with class. In an interview with Extra he stated: “I just wish her nothing but the best, We’re in contact constantly. You know, you might have an off night here and there, but she’s one of the greatest performers and entertainers of all time. She’s not worried. We’re not worried. Just going to keep pushing.”
I did always think they were cute! Although, she is a lot of woman for him. Man, this is sad. With him speaking so highly of her, maybe one day they will reconcile. What do you think? Vote below….
Anyway, originally Nick decided to get Mariah tattoo across his upper back. Now, he has replaced it with a much larger tattoo that appears to be an emblem of Jesus. I do like the symbolism in that he is creating the image that Christ is first in his life, but we have to remember no man or woman can ever or should ever fill that space in the first place.
I know that there are those people who love tattoos, and they mean a lot to them, but your skin is so beautiful why put permanent ink on it. Furthermore, if you completely disagree with me on tattoos in general, I get it, but at least stray away from names of your boyfriend, girlfriend, or spouse. There are plenty of other ways to show your love. Then you won’t have to “cover it up”.
Here is how I see it, God made your body beautiful just the way it is, and permanent ink was never meant to mix with you bloodstream. Just think about it.
12-year-old Emily writes from North Carolina writes:
by Ambro
Hi Chauntel,
I need advice on my first kiss…….how do u stop those sloppy noises from happening……I know it’s natural but some really loud ones aren’t.
Hi Emily,
What a cute question!
Since you are 12-years-old I must begin with a disclaimer:
Before you get into a kissing relationship always know that you must set boundaries first. You don’t want to get into a situation with a guy who makes you feel pressured to do anything that you don’t want to do or are not ready for. So it is important to establish those boundaries first, before getting into the situation. Since you are one of my Jewels, I will give you one primary rule that you must follow, make sure he keeps his hands around your waist, not above or below. If he tries anything funny politely move his hands back where they belong, he will get the hint!
Ok, so on to answering your question specifically, to avoid loud noises when kissing keep the following two things in mind:
1. Make Sure Your Lips are Not Too Wet – Wetness On your lips creates a Smacking Noise. However, in the same breath, I don’t recommend chapped lips.
2. Don’t Kiss Too Fast – The slower the kiss the less noise it makes.
With these two things in mind, don’t get too caught up on the logistics. Just have fun with it!
When kissing though keep in mind that you feelings can get attached, and it might be too soon for a very serious relationship if you know what I mean. Take your time with this and let it happen naturally when and how it is suppose to. Don’t put so much pressure on yourself!
I have decided to expand my horizons a bit! Here is a new series on my blog! It may spill over into my YouTube channel who knows! It is entitled Marriage Mondays! I did write one a while back, to try it out! You guys seemed to like it so lets get it going! Even if you are not married some of these posts may still help with those of you in relationships!
The little things matter! In love and marriage, it is important to always remember that your spouse may not always outwardly express what they may be feeling, but it is your job to stay in tune with not only their needs but also their wants!
Not only does this make them feel special, but it also makes them feel needed and wanted. Sometimes we find ourselves so wrapped up in our own worlds that we forget to stop and assess what’s going on around us.
It is during these times, that the ones closest to us, might find themselves needing us the most. So, we have to, as they say “take time to smell the roses”. Slow down and connect with your spouse, so that you can attend to what they need.
Did you know that 93% of communication happens nonverbally. There was a study done by Dr. Albert Mehrabian, author of Silent Messages. He found that only 7% of communication happens through words and 38% is expressed through vocal elements. More the 55% is communicated through nonverbal elements such as facial expressions, gestures, posture, and related body language.
Next to God, your spouse has to be the second top priority in your life, more than work or other activities. If they are not happy, it will begin to effect each of you individually; then it will begin to effect your marriage.
So pay close attention to both their verbal and nonverbal cues. If you only listen to the words that you hear and ignore what you see, you are truly missing out on 93% of the bigger picture. Give it a try this week, be attentive to your spouses wants as well as their needs and see just how much you make them smile! Attention to nonverbal cues is essential to keeping a happy marriage!
I have decided to begin giving my responses to some popular advice columns that I read. Below is my first entry taken from Ask E. Jean, column writer for Elle magazine.
Dear E. Jean: I have a wonderful two-year-old, who is the absolute light of my life, and a husband I adore. I love being a mom and desperately wish to expand our family. However, I have suffered three miscarriages in the past 10 months (despite testing and treatment for a blood-clotting disorder linked to miscarriage), in addition to losing my father. At the moment, I am hurting too much from all this loss and need to take a break from trying for another child, and I’m also recognizing that it may not be in Mother Nature’s cards for us to have another. (It took almost two years to conceive my daughter, so fertility has never come naturally for me.)
The problem is, nearly all of my friends are pregnant right now and I’m finding it incredibly hard to be around them. Watching their bodies change is a constant reminder of where I should have been had any of my pregnancies lasted. I don’t want to cut myself off socially, especially in a time of such grief, but I find it very painful to see such abundant fertility around me. What can I do, short of finding an entirely new group of friends? —Heartbroken
by zcool.com.cn
Dear Heartbroken,
You are dealing with such a very difficult time right now. I can totally relate to what you are going through. I just had a miscarriage myself about 7 weeks ago. I will post my videos below where I share my story.
Did you know that 1 and 3 pregnant women will loose their baby?
It is a reality that many people are not aware of. The pain that comes with a miscarriage is so very difficult both physically and emotionally. Although, the people around you may not quite understand exactly how you are feeling, what matters most is their love and support for you.
It is natural for you to be sad when you see your friends going along in their pregnancy, while you have continued to loose yours. However, I believe that you have the strength to overcome those negative feelings, but it is going to take some work on your part.
You cannot possibly be happy for them if you are beating yourself up over this. So, here is what you need to do. You first must stop beating yourself up. As women, we can find ourselves blaming ourselves for the fact that we cannot get pregnant or stay pregnant. We slowly begin tearing ourselves down. Then when we see women who are pregnant we may begin comparing ourselves to them and wondering why our pregnancy did not work out. That is the absolute opposite of what you should do. However, it may seem like the easiest road to take.
So, I want you to walk the unbeaten path. The path of a strong woman, who holds her head up high in-spite of the pain that she is experiences. Have confidence in yourself, and know that just because your pregnancies have not worked out it does not make you any less of a woman. Also, as that strong woman you must know that if these women truly are your friends they mean you no harm and you should embrace them during this hard time. If them talking about their pregnancies saddens you, then just be honest with them and let them know that you are having a hard time with the loss of your babies. Inform them that although you are happy for them, you would rather not talk about pregnancy at all. If they are truly your friends they should be sensitive to that fact, and heed to your request. If they do not, then they are selfish and not a true friend to you.
by adamr
Beyond that, lets thank God for our blessings. He has given you a husband who loves you and a daughter all yours. Those times when you begin beating yourself up just remember how blessed you are to have them in your lives. Some women will not ever get married or have a child, and you have both.
So, if it is really your desire to have another baby, don’t give up. It is going to take some time and it may take more heartache, but you are strong enough to endure it. Do you know how I know? – because God will not put more on you than you can bear, and you are still standing sista.
As a good friend of mines reminded me, an idle mind is the devil’s workshop, and all he wants is for us women to separate ourselves during our time of need. When you see your pregnant friends, instead of focusing on what they have, and what you lack, I want you to focus on what both of you have – love and family. Don’t see yourself as less than, but instead know that God knew you were strong enough to endure. We all have hard times, but this too shall pass.
Also, Don’t keep your feelings inside, discuss how you are feeling with your husband. He is hurting too, and during this time you two need to need to show love and support to each-other.
May God be with you and your family, and if it is in his will, you will have another baby.
Now, I am not a kissing expert, haha. However, what I can tell you is that this is something that you learn in the moment. Just follow his lead, go with the flow. You will quickly learn.
Hello Jewels! This one is for all of my married ladies out there! I hope to be writing to you more often! So send me questions about your woes to 
Here is my opinion, if you have watched enough of my videos you would know that although, I do my best to take a unbiased stance, my advice is given from my perspective.
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