16-year-old Luis from Houston Texas writes:
I love the show, and you give great advice. Even from both perspectives, but I just kind of need advice.
Every time I talk to girls they seem to be creeped out, like they’ll walk away slowly, give one answer response. When I approach girls I usually give a compliment or talk about the surroundings. For example i was talking to this girl and she was being weird about it. So I asked “why are you walking like I’m creeping you out?” And she said “cause you are” I’ll give them a compliment, and that’s when things go wrong.. Maybe I’m coming off too strong? Any advice to do when I’m this situation again. I want her to feel comfortable. It be amazing if you can help me. Thank you, take care.
Thanks so much for your kind words! I am so glad that you enjoy the show! I decided to go ahead and share your question on my blog here. I also have a few videos that I have created related to this subject. I am not sure if you have seen them, but I will leave them below. Hopefully, you will find them helpful.
So, here is where I think the problem lies. When you approach a girl, small talk is ok, which it seems like you are doing. However, there also seems to be an awkwardness associated with your encounters.
You want to involve her in the conversation, and get her interested in what you are saying. Randomly giving her compliments is making her feel uncomfortable.
So for example the conversation could go something like:
Luis: “Wow isn’t today a beautiful day?”
Girl: “Yea, its really pretty today.”
Luis: “It it is made even more beautiful by your smile. My name is Luis. What is your name?”
(Luis reaches out hand out to shake Sarah’s hand.)
Girl: “Hi Luis, my name is Sarah.”
Luis: “Oh it is so nice to meet you Sarah.”
Sarah: “It’s nice to meet you too Luis.”
Luis: “So what does a beautiful girl like you have planned for this beautiful day?”
Sarah: “Oh thank you. Actually I am here to…….”
Luis: Responds to what Sarah has planning for the day
So, here you have introduced yourself nicely and given her a compliment. You also have gotten her involved in the conversation without creeping her out. Now this last conversation piece is key.
After you complete your small talk conversation, its time to seal the deal!
Let Sarah know that you have enjoyed your conversation, and you would like to talk to her more later. Then ask her for her phone number so you can “text her later”. If she doesn’t want to give you that ask her for her Facebook or Instagram. If she isn’t interested you will know because she will politely decline.
Not every girl will be interested in you. However, if you keep these things in mind and make her feel apart of the conversation it will help. Don’t drop random compliments it will make her feel uncomfortable.
Also, be careful what you are complimenting her about. Keep it simple, like telling her she is beautiful, or saying something nice about her smile or her eyes. Also, don’t let your eyes wonder all over her body when you are talking to her. Keep it at about eye level. Be calm and relax. If you are nervous, she will probably be able to tell, and it will make her more uncomfortable.
Women like men who are confident within themselves. See yourself as the cool guy. If you want her to believe it, you have to believe it first!
I Hope This Helps!
email questions to firstname.lastname@example.org Tweet/Insta @askchauntel