12-year-old Emily writes from North Carolina writes:
I need advice on my first kiss…….how do u stop those sloppy noises from happening……I know it’s natural but some really loud ones aren’t.
What a cute question!
Since you are 12-years-old I must begin with a disclaimer:
Before you get into a kissing relationship always know that you must set boundaries first. You don’t want to get into a situation with a guy who makes you feel pressured to do anything that you don’t want to do or are not ready for. So it is important to establish those boundaries first, before getting into the situation. Since you are one of my Jewels, I will give you one primary rule that you must follow, make sure he keeps his hands around your waist, not above or below. If he tries anything funny politely move his hands back where they belong, he will get the hint!
Ok, so on to answering your question specifically, to avoid loud noises when kissing keep the following two things in mind:
1. Make Sure Your Lips are Not Too Wet – Wetness On your lips creates a Smacking Noise. However, in the same breath, I don’t recommend chapped lips.
2. Don’t Kiss Too Fast – The slower the kiss the less noise it makes.
With these two things in mind, don’t get too caught up on the logistics. Just have fun with it!
When kissing though keep in mind that you feelings can get attached, and it might be too soon for a very serious relationship if you know what I mean. Take your time with this and let it happen naturally when and how it is suppose to. Don’t put so much pressure on yourself!
I watch your videos and you give great advice. I was wondering if you could give me some advice right here. My boyfriend is moving away, and he is my best friend. It’s really hard to focus knowing that he’s leaving. I need some advice about what I should do, and if we should make it work or something. Then, we’ve talked about kissing. Well sort of… Our friends have talked about it, and agrees he should. But I really don’t know what to do. When should we do it, where? I really need to know what to do. I’m going Into 7th grade, and that’s pretty much the age everybody else has. So yeah if you could email me back, and please give me advice. That would mean the world for you to respond. Thanks 🙂
First of all, thanks so much for your kind words, they really mean a lot. So I know this is a very hard time for you. There’s no getting around the fact that it will be very difficult.
However, I want you to know that you can absolutely get through this. It will be hard, but you have the strength within you to overcome the pain. It will hurt, and you will miss him because he has had a significant impact on your life. Even though it may seem like your world is crashing down in time it will get better.
If you want to kiss him, then by all means kiss him. However, don’t do it because you feel pressed to meet a quota. Just because “everyone else has done it or will do it by 7th grade” that is no reason for you to do it. Here is a quote I love to live by: “Why try so hard to fit in when you were born to stand out!”
You have nothing to prove to anyone else. I want you to be happy with yourself. So, if you want to kiss him, on your own terms then great, do it, but whatever you do, don’t use this moment to meet a quota to please “everybody else”. When it comes down to it, this is your big moment. Your real experience. I didn’t have mines until I was ready and you shouldn’t either. Your first kiss should be special.
Here was my response to another viewer a while back about where to have a first kiss. It also applies here:
“The best place, is more about the best time. Where you are is not as important as how you feel.
However, any outdoor setting or couch setting would be nice. Steer clear from bedrooms though because they could lead to unwanted occurrences.
Romantic settings are of course the beach or anywhere near water. A drive in movie in the car is always cute. Holding hands in the park on a starry night is another great idea. Exotic places, near a fireplace, or even under the doorstep could also work.”
And – your last question was should you try to stay together and work it out. Here is my advice about that, ultimately you two have to make that decision. However, what I will tell you is that you are very young it long distance relationships are hard. They are not impossible, but they only work if you live close enough where you will be able to see each other at somewhat often.
They can also be very risky in the long run. You don’t have to cut ties with him, but at this point choosing to be friends who hang out from time to time may be an option you might want to consider. Unless you are in a very serious relationship I think it would be easier for you to take a break at this point. You can always revisit the relationship later. If it is meant to be it will be. I know this isn’t really the news you wanted, but just know that everything will be ok in time. I have two videos that I will leave you with.
I think my girlfriend is going to kiss me, so how should I do it?
Kissing should happen in a fluid motion. It shouldn’t be rushed, and it very well shouldn’t make either of you feel pressured.
So, here are the basics:
1. Your hands should go around her waist, but not below the belt. Remember to always be respectful!
2. Her hands will naturally go above your shoulders around your neck.
3. Make eye contact. and see if she is on the same page and ready to go in for the kiss. If and when you see that she is, you can slowly go in for it. This will give you enough time to assess if she will meet you in the middle, or turn away instead.
Then you simply go in and naturally find her lips. After you lips meet, close your eyes. Otherwise it is a little weird.
And that is it! Great job you have had your first kiss!