How to Deal with Being Single for Christmas – Single for the Holidays

In this video I share how to deal with being single for Christmas. If you are single for the holidays this video will lift your spirits.

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Bad Break-up Slap at a Restaurant – Relationship Advice

Erica writes:

Greetings Chauntel!

I just wanted to run something by you regarding a recent break-up. I had been dating this guy for the past six months and he decided to drop the bomb in the middle of a dinner date at a restaurant.

I really felt blind-sided and was so upset that he didn’t deliver the news in a more thoughtful, intimate, and sensitive manner. He didn’t give any real reason other than something like “I think it’s best we both move on.” He was also very cold and business like in how he presented it. It almost felt like I was on an exit interview after getting let go by a company. My emotions got the best of me and I really lost control. I gave him a stinging slap across the face that was widely noticed and then walked out. It was in the city so I took a cab home.

While I’m still resentful of how he handled it, I feel like I should do the mature and responsible thing and apologize for the slap. I don’t really feel like calling him so would an apology note via email or regular mail be appropriate?

Hi Erica,

I am so sorry that you had to go through this. However, I am glad that he did not string you along and was honest with you. Sure an nice email or text would do just fine. He wasn’t intimate in his approach, and I don’t see how he would expect you to be so either in this situation. I think a text would be just fine. Just don’t incriminate yourself. Be careful what you write and keep it brief. Remember once it is written and sent it is available for the world to read. It is very noble for you to even want to apologize at this point! I do think it is the right thing to do! Good luck to you! And stay strong, it will be better soon!

I Hope This Helps!

Chauntel

email questions to askchauntel@gmail.com

How to Have Succesful Marriage – Ask Chauntel

I’m back and ready to share some useful tips for you!

Women are Rejecting Me Sexually – Dating Advice – Ask Chauntel

Donald writes:

Hey Chauntel,

I haven’t been in a relationship for a while (say 3years).
I am into masturbation a lot which makes up for my sexual desires.
I feel like I need a woman to share my life with, but I can’t seem to attract them.
I go out on dates with women, but they seem to not want to sleep with me. Every time we plan to meet up for sex, I was always get excuses for why they couldn’t make it.
Can you help me with how to overcome this problem?
by artur84
by artur84

Hi Donald,

As a result of my Christian values I am an advocate of saving sex until marriage.

To answer your question more specifically, a physical relationship develops after an emotional relationship is underway. Therefore, if you are not building a solid emotional connection with the person you are dating, you will find it very difficult to have a physical one.

So here is my advice, instead of focusing so much on the physical aspect of your relationships, you need to focus on building a solid emotional connection. If a woman feels that she is being used for sex she will automatically reject you. I understand that we all have physical needs and desires, but you are approaching this the wrong way. What you need to do is build a relationship with someone that is true and the rest will come in time!

I Hope This Helps!

Chauntel
email questions to askchauntel@gmail.com

How to Prevent Suicidal Thoughts

Hello Jewels and Gems,

girl in garden by anankkml
by anankkml

A harsh reality is that many people around us are hurting. At times they cannot see a way to overcome their pain and circumstances. It is during these times that we have to be there to show our love and support.

This post is inspired by a viewer who sent me a question recently about wanting to prevent themselves from committing suicide.

To the Person Having Suicidal Thoughts:

You are Loved

It is important for you to know that you are loved. It may seem like everyone and everything around you is going downhill and out of your control, but even during the times that you feel alone just know that you are loved. Even if the people around you do not show you love, God loves you.

You Matter

Remind yourself that you matter. At times we feel unwanted and unneeded because people in our lives have made us feel like we are not important. Don’t let those horrible people define you. If you were not here, someone would miss you. In most cases many will miss you.

You Have a Purpose Exclusive to You

If you didn’t know it, you have a purpose. There are specific gifts and talents that have been given to you that no one can take away. Even if you have been told that you are not good enough, strong enough, smart enough, you have to believe that you are.

Sometimes it takes time to define your purpose in life. However, it is important for you to know that no one can live  your purpose for you. You were made by God for a specific reason. Only you can find that, and if you take it upon yourself to take your life you are robbing the world of your gifts and talents.

Life is Worth Living

Even during the hard times, you must remember that your life is truly worth living. There is nothing so bad in life that you should take your on life. There is always another option. You have other choices. There is a way to make your situation and your circumstance better, but you have to allow time and effort to make those changes happen.

Gather Support

Many times when a person is having suicidal thoughts its because they spend too much time alone. Sometimes we rob ourselves of time with others for one reason or another, but we all need someone. You cannot live life alone. You were not born alone, you didn’t live alone(within reason there is always someone near you even if they are a house away), and if you can help it you shouldn’t die alone.

Get Professional Help

If you have someone around you that you can trust talk to that individual, and let them know what is going on with you, this way they can be there to support you. They can also assist you in  finding the help that you need and deserve.

It is important for you to find professional help. Therefore, seek out a therapist or psychologist who can support you. They will help you to talk it out and identify the root of your problem so that you can continue moving forward.

Crisis Help Resources

I have some resources available for you here on my website. There are prayer hotlines as well as suicide hotlines that you can utilize if you are in a crisis listed on that page.

To Friends Providing Support

An individual who is having suicidal thoughts really needs your support. They probably won’t want help, but guide them to the help that they need. Make sure that the key players in their lives are aware of what is going on. Check in with them often and make sure that they are okay. Make sure that they know that they are loved and have a place in your life.

Whatever you do, do not turn a blind eye to this situation, and be sure that they are receiving help and talking it through. They may not want to be around people, but insure that they are. Too much time alone can result in more time for them to get deeper into their depression. Realize that this is a real thing, that they can overcome.

I Hope This Helps!

Chauntel

email questions to askchauntel@gmail.com

 

 

5 Ways to to Compliment A Guy

Jazzy writes:

Hi Chauntel!

I am in middle school, and I have a boyfriend,. but I’m not sure what to say to compliment him. What are some good compliments that guys like to hear? Also, how am I supposed to react after he gives me a compliment? Am I supposed to compliment him back or just say thanks? This would be so helpful!!

by imagerymajestic
by imagerymajestic

Hi Jazzy,

When it comes to complimenting a guy, they are pretty simple. Just think of ways to play up his ego. Guys love to be complimented on their physical appearance. They also, like to know that you see them as manly.
Here are some simple compliments that you can give a guy that will keep him smiling back at you:
1. Oh you are so funny!
2. I can tell you have been working out!
3. I love being in your arms, you make me feel safe!
4. You are such a manly man!
5.  I love being around you, you make me feel so special!
It is nice to be nice so if he gives you a compliment, feel free to compliment him back. However, you also have to know how to accept a compliment. You don’t always have to spit one back out as soon as you get one.
So in response to his compliment, you can spit one back at him, or you can simply say thank you with a smile.
I Hope This Helps!
Chauntel
email me questions at askchauntel@gmail.com