No Kissing Chemistry – First Kiss Mistakes

In this video I share what happens when you have no kissing chemistry. I also share five first kissing mistakes!

If you are looking for life coaching, relationship or marriage help, I offer private coaching by email or even one-on-one coaching sessions. Here is more info:

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Who Should Pay for the Date – Christian Dating Advice for Women

In this video I share my Christian dating advice for women concerning the question who should pay for the date. As a Christian woman with Christian values I have a very strong perspective on this topic, and I am so glad to share! Please share your thoughts below and vote on my poll to express your opinion. The link is below. Feel free to email questions to

How to Find Mr. Right – Ask Chauntel

In this video I share how to find and keep Mr. Right! I have been married for 4.5 years and dated my husband for 5 years before we got married. Now we have a little girl, and we are so blessed. I thought I would share some tips that I learned a long the way that your girlfriends just might not tell you! If you are looking for Mr. Right this video should help! Check it out!

If you are looking for life coaching, relationship or marriage help, I offer private coaching by email or even one-on-one coaching sessions. Here is more info:

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Interracial Dating: How to Approach Black Women

Daniel writes:

Hey Chauntel,

I’m nervous about talking to black girls any suggestions?

Hi Daniel,

Screen Shot 2016-04-11 at 2.48.16 PM
“Cookie” from the show “Empire”

So there is this massive media portrayal of black women being, for lack of a better word, “difficult” to approach or get a long with in a relationship. This is really a huge misconception.

I believe in many ways we are being misrepresented. We maybe bold, and we may seem intimidating at first, for whatever the reason, but we are truly very light hearted. When we love we love hard. We treat our men like kings.

More and more black women are reaching outside of their race.

Bellow are some celebrity couples that you may be familiar with. For purposes of this post, we won’t get into the specifics of their relationships.However, for your knowledge some are currently: married, divorced, broken-up, dating. You get the picture! Either way they have been coupled up at one time or another! Take the poll below to vote on your favorite!


To answer your question specifically, approach with confidence. If you don’t have it, “fake it til’ you make it!” There isn’t anything spectacularly different about approaching a black women than approaching any other women!  Just be yourself, and be confident in what you have to offer.

With all that being said, make sure that you have something to offer. Which might mean, scaling back to work on building yourself up before approaching a woman.

Oh, and here is a recent video that I produced:

Titled: Do Black Women Like White Men?

I Hope This Helps!


email questions to:

Which was your favorite black woman and white man celebrity couple? Take the poll! Give comments and advice:


How to Have Succesful Marriage – Ask Chauntel

I’m back and ready to share some useful tips for you!

Women are Rejecting Me Sexually – Dating Advice – Ask Chauntel

Donald writes:

Hey Chauntel,

I haven’t been in a relationship for a while (say 3years).
I am into masturbation a lot which makes up for my sexual desires.
I feel like I need a woman to share my life with, but I can’t seem to attract them.
I go out on dates with women, but they seem to not want to sleep with me. Every time we plan to meet up for sex, I was always get excuses for why they couldn’t make it.
Can you help me with how to overcome this problem?
by artur84
by artur84

Hi Donald,

As a result of my Christian values I am an advocate of saving sex until marriage.

To answer your question more specifically, a physical relationship develops after an emotional relationship is underway. Therefore, if you are not building a solid emotional connection with the person you are dating, you will find it very difficult to have a physical one.

So here is my advice, instead of focusing so much on the physical aspect of your relationships, you need to focus on building a solid emotional connection. If a woman feels that she is being used for sex she will automatically reject you. I understand that we all have physical needs and desires, but you are approaching this the wrong way. What you need to do is build a relationship with someone that is true and the rest will come in time!

I Hope This Helps!

email questions to

Guys Only Want Me For Sex – Dating Advice

18-year-old Veronica from Maryland writes:

Hey Chauntel,

I have never been in a relationship before. No one has ever taken the time to notice me I guess. I’m in college now, and I got my braces off over the summer before college. Now everyone is saying I look way different from high school. Even though it was a few months ago. Any ways now all these guys approach me wherever I go. Mostly guys in their 20’s and 30’s, never my age. All they want from me is one thing, sex. I want to wait until marriage, and I want a guy that respects me. However, it seems the only thing guys see in me is just another body to add to their list.  I don’t know what to do? I want a relationship not just a fling.

by imagerymajestic
by imagerymajestic

Hello Veronica,

If you want a relationship and not a fling then a relationship you shall have. When I entered college I began to also notice older men showing interest in me. I didn’t know how to deal with it either at first. I soon learned that I was in complete control over myself and the guys I chose to let into my life.

If you want men to respect you, you have to respect yourself by setting a standard for yourself. Guys will only show respect to you as far as you ask for it. It isn’t always in what you say it is in how you carry yourself and the morals and values you set for yourself. You seem like you have some strong ones so I am sure that you will be fine.

Don’t give into the pressures of sex. It won’t be easy, but if you don’t want to just become another number on someone’s list then don’t! Keep yourself for marriage as you said you wanted to. I did, so I know you can too! Keep God in your life, and it will all work out!

And good for you for being awesome!

Be Blessed!


Ps. Here is a video that I produced for a woman with a struggle somewhat related to your situation:



5 Ways to to Compliment A Guy

Jazzy writes:

Hi Chauntel!

I am in middle school, and I have a boyfriend,. but I’m not sure what to say to compliment him. What are some good compliments that guys like to hear? Also, how am I supposed to react after he gives me a compliment? Am I supposed to compliment him back or just say thanks? This would be so helpful!!

by imagerymajestic
by imagerymajestic

Hi Jazzy,

When it comes to complimenting a guy, they are pretty simple. Just think of ways to play up his ego. Guys love to be complimented on their physical appearance. They also, like to know that you see them as manly.
Here are some simple compliments that you can give a guy that will keep him smiling back at you:
1. Oh you are so funny!
2. I can tell you have been working out!
3. I love being in your arms, you make me feel safe!
4. You are such a manly man!
5.  I love being around you, you make me feel so special!
It is nice to be nice so if he gives you a compliment, feel free to compliment him back. However, you also have to know how to accept a compliment. You don’t always have to spit one back out as soon as you get one.
So in response to his compliment, you can spit one back at him, or you can simply say thank you with a smile.
I Hope This Helps!
email me questions at

New Video: Should I Choose My Boyfriend Over My Family? – Relationship Advice – Ask Chauntel

Have you ever been in a situation where it seems like you are not receiving support for your romantic relationship from the people who matter most, your family? How do you handle the situation? Who do you choose, and what do you do? Watch!

What do Women Want for Valentines Day?

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So, you finally survive through choosing the perfect Christmas gift, then you look up and it’s already time for another thoughtful gift. A Valentines Day gift! What is a guy to do?

I understand your frustration guys, and I hear the pain. So, I thought I would provide you with a guide to selecting the perfect Valentines Day gift!

8 Ways to Avoid Buying the Wrong Valentines Day Gift

by Stoonn
by Stoonn

Selecting a gift for your sweetheart on Valentines Day can be a difficult task for many.

Why? Well there is a  large margin for error on this special day. Whether you have been in a relationship for a while, or if you just started dating, either reality causes for apprehension.

A Valentines Day gift is not like Birthday or Christmas gift, it is a very personal gift. The gift is symbolic of LOVE. It can be given between family, friends, or lovers.

But, the Question is what do you buy? Do you buy it, should you make it? Does it have to have a certain price point? All great questions, and the answer is different for every person.

1. The Gift Should Not Be Something that You Want
You shouldn’t get her your favorite candy, so that the two of you can “share.”

woman working out by marin
by marin

2. The Gift Should Not Hint Towards Something Underlying 
For example, don’t buy your husband/wife a gym membership to hint towards that fact that you want him/her to loose weight.

3. Don’t Be Cheap
The value of a gift is not always monetary. It should be something that you had to spend some time thinking about. You don’t have to empty you wallet, but you must remember the gift value is presenting their love value. It’s not about the money you spend it’s about the meaning behind the gift.

4. Don’t Re-gift  
If you gave the gift to your X, it’s probably not a good idea to give it to your new girl. So, take time to find a gift that is unique to her, or him. It looses it’s value, meaning, and thoughtfulness if it was given before.

5. Don’t Give Cheap Chocolate if You Are Over 16

Cheap chocolate tastes cheap. Ah! Gross! You would be better off buying a candy bar and adding a thoughtful card than buying a cheap box of chocolate and handing if over!

man giving his wife a gift
by Ohmmy3d

6. Don’t Buy A Card and Only Sign the Bottom
Buy a card to go with your gift, is such a great idea. It displays that you want to express in words  how much the person means to you. However, if you sign a blank card that only says “Happy Valentines Day” It makes your card dry and cold. Add a bit of your own handwriting, then sign your name!

7.  Don’t Buy a Birthday or Christmas Gift
Although jackets, shoes, and vacuums may be needed, a more special gift should be considered, like a necklace, earrings or a teddy bear.

8. Don’t Give Only Perishable Items
Flowers, and chocolate are great gifts for Valentines, but don’t forget the card or the teddy bear. Why? You want her to have something to remember you by. Something she can look at and think of you. She may be thinking of you as she bites into that yummy piece of chocolate, but she can keep the card to read and look over and over again.