Can I Date My Friend’s 1 Nightstand? – Dating Advice – Ask Chauntel

Brooke writes:

Hey Chauntel,

So I really like this guy and we both have expressed our feelings for each other over the phone. But there is a problem, my best friend who is basically my sister, hooked up with him last time we were out, she called him as her “tap and gap” and I appreciated that, because i didn’t know him then. But then we started talking over facebook all the time day and night, which led to phone calls and Skype calls. And I slowly grew feelings for him. He now walks me and my ‘best friend’ home once or twice week, and saying all the cute sh** every girl wants to hear. He gives me his beanie, and is apparently coming over to my house, but here’s the thing I ended up telling my best friend that I like him and she doesn’t like it. So she picks up all of my stuff (I was at her house) and throws it outside and tells me to get the f@%k out! So I do, and she slams the door and goes inside and cries for a good 20-30 minutes. She then tells me she likes him too. Oh, I forgot to tell you, the night we told each other we liked each other he also decided to tell me he likes her too.

We talked it out and now everything between me and him isn’t the same, we barely talk now, way less compared to what we normally do, and he is just acting different. He went from all the I trust you so much, I love you, I can’t believe your staying up so late for me, while telling me everything about himself, and knowing all the little details about me. And all the cute stuff they would normally say. And I really don’t know what to do, because I don’t want to loose my friendship between my best friend and my self but neither me and his relationship. I figured that if I slowly stop talking to him my feelings will go, but each and every moment of the day it kills me not talking, and I honestly need some advice on what to do. Please could you help me with what to do, I really want to get back to how we use to talk and the things we’d do together.

Thank you so much, Brooke xo


Image
Hi Brooke,

Let’s talk girl code here. You have to let this go. She has already had sex with him which cancels out your chances with him. How would you feel if you were in her position? No doubt you would be ferious of her if she tried dating him after you had slept with him.

To add to this nonsense, he obviously doesn’t know what he wants, but who even cares what he wants. He is causing unecessary confusion that could end your friendship. Which is more important, your friendship or this guy. Ultimately, you will have to decide.

But not to worry my dear, it won’t go too far. He is scum. Stop hanging out with him.

I Hope This Helps!

Chauntel

email questions to askchauntel@gmail.com

Embarrassed of My Parents – Teen Bullying – Ask Chauntel

A very heartfelt response to an emotional story. She doesn’t remember the last time that she went shopping, and she is being bullied for it. Can you relate? Rate, comment and subscribe!

Is He Using Me For Sex? – Relationship Advice – Ask Chauntel

If you have ever wondered if the guy you are with is using this video for sex this video will help. Chauntel answers a question from Mya a who is having a difficult time deciding how to express herself to her guy about how she feels. He doesn’t kiss her anymore. What should she do? Watch!

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How Do I Get Him to Notice Me? – Love and Basketball -Ask Chauntel

Brooklyn writes:

Hi Chauntel,

During break my friends and I go to the gym and play basketball. I recently started noticing this guy who is in grade 12, and is 17. I’m in grade 10 and 15. He is really religious so I know he has great morals and such.

I was wondering your opinion on this situation, and how I would make him notice me and eventually get to know him?

ImageHi Brooklyn!

Well, if you see him at the gym start up a conversation there. See if you can get a game going between his and your friends. The fact that he is religious is a good thing. Hopefully, you all have the same beliefs. Be yourself, play a game with him, or if he happens to be in the middle of a game try to set one up at a later time. Give him your number and let him know that he can text you to set something up later, on downtown. Then see if he does. If he doesn’t then you know he isn’t really interested. If he does that is a great sign! Play the game and flirt with him during and after.

Then invite him out with your friends to casually grab something to eat afterwards. Be sure to sit with him, and let him know that you had a great time, and would like to talk to him more.

Good Luck!

I Hope This Helps!

Chauntel

email questions to: askchauntel@gmail.com

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My BestFriend Has a Crush On Me…But I Don’t Like Her

15-year-old Matt writes:

Hey there Chauntel,

There is this girl that I have had a crush on for about a year and a half now. So I have been watching a bunch of videos on how to tell if a girl likes you. Well the other day a friend told me that my best friend Ots (also a girl, I am not gay) likes me. I have been friends with her since i was like 7.

And after that i noticed that she shows all the signs in the videos, but I always just thought she was being friendly.
Then on the next Monday was talking to Ots and a friend came and said something about Kaitlin ( the girl I like) when that person left Ots was just like “you like Kaitlin?” So I said yes then she said “I have to go… See you tomorrow” then hugged me and left. I have spoken to her since but she has been weird. Then on Thursday i was talking to Kaitlin and she said Ots hasn’t spoken since Monday, but they were really close. My problem is that I have my first date with Kaitlin this weekend but i don’t want to ruin friendships. I really like Kaitlin but i have been best friends with Ots for years!!!! What do I do?????

Hello Matt,

If you have feelings for Kaitlin then go out with her. If this other girl is really your friend she won’t un-friend you simply because you are interested in someone else. If she does, then she was never your friend to begin with.

You cannot live your life according to someone else’s watch. If she gets upset then that is her problem. You are not in a romantic relationship with her, and you don’t owe her anything. If she is your friend then she needs to start acting like it!

I Hope This Helps!

Chauntel

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My Boyfriend is a Jew, and I am a Christian – Relationship Advice – Ask Chauntel

15-year-old Summer from England writes:

Hello Chauntel!

I have a boyfriend who lives maybe 30 minutes away by train. We meet on a online chat room, and the same week we agreed to meet.
We have meet 3 times since. He’s 16 nearly 17. We have only known each other 5 weeks.
He asked me out on the second time we meet, and i said yes. I can’t tell my parents because they are really strong Christians and he is Jewish, they wont let me have a boyfriend, let alone a Jewish one. I don’t want to tell them just in case they don’t let me see him.
He has told all his friends and family that we are dating, but saying we meet at a party not online because he’s embarrassed of where we meet.
We Skype nearly everyday and i really really like him What should i do?!
Love from
Summer
xxxxxxxx

Mom and Daughter
Hello Summer,
When it comes to religion, it gets really gummy. I understand your dilemma. However, keeping him a secret is not the answer.
If you were of a marrying age my advice would be different(mostly run far away, This won’t work out., I wouldn’t touch this with a ten foot poll!), but since you are  so young this is how I would approach your situation.
Go to you parents and tell them that you are interested in dating someone. Let them meet him. Try to stray away from conversations about religion. Don’t lie to you parents. If they ask then you must be honest, but if they don’t ask then don’t bring it up. Here is the thing, sneaking around, having secret train rides is dishonest and not safe. Also, you will loose their trust, and this for you will be unbearable.
They will trust you much more if you let them know that you met someone. If after you have to told them the truth, they still ban you from talking to him because of your differing religions you must respect their wishes.
As children of God, we must obey our parents. It is written, Ephesians 6:1, “Children, obey your parents in the Lord for this is right.”
Also, I wouldn’t make too big a deal out of this. It would be unwise to get into a deeply rooted relationship with him because eventually you will have to part ways.
The Bible informs us that to be together we must be equally yoked. What does that mean?
It means you have to be of the same mind. Meaning amongst other things, same religion, same values. There is a scripture in Amos, that says (Amos 3:3) “How can two walk together unless they touch and agree.” Now it doesn’t mean literraly touch. This verse in symbolic. Meaning on the same level spiritually.
I know that this can be annoying as well as  seem unfair. I have been in your situation. I was a little older, but it was the same type of thing. I was dating a guy who was of a different denomination that me. I am deeply rooted in mine. We couldn’t agree, and fought a lot. I thought to myself, how can I be with a guy who doesn’t believe the same things as I do. What will my children believe? It was then that I decided it would not be a good idea to become too deeply involved with him. I dated him casually until I met the next guy. The end goal was to find a man that I could eventually marry. Which I did, and he is a catch :)!
Now, the religion title itself is not what matters. The belief system is what matters. As long as you go into your relationship with this understanding then I think you will be ok. But I recommend that you let your parents know that you are dating someone. Again, SNEAKING AROUND BEHIND THEIR BACKS IS NO THE ANSWER.
I Hope That Helps!
Chauntel
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Do I HAVE to Put a Picture of My Girlfriend on Instagram?

If you have an Instagram is it absolutely necessary to put the photo of your significant other on your profile? Is it necessary? If you don’t post one do you seem unfaithful? Watch!

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How to Find Happiness After a Break-up – Relationship Advice – Ask Chauntel

sad girl by ambro

15-year-old Clarissa writes:

Hi Chauntel!

I was hoping for advice on how to get my life on track and be healthy, happy again after being completely depressed and devastated from my ex of one year breaking up with me. Life has just been really hard lately, and I just have no motivation for anything anymore. Thank you so much Chauntel!

Hi Clarissa,

Thanks so much for your question. When relationships don’t work out the way that we would like for them to,it can be very painful. Sometimes when that hurt goes really deep within us we can slowly become more and more depressed.

It is for this reason that some people are afraid to get into committed relationships. They are afraid of getting hurt. However, we cannot allow our emotions to define our actions. We must push through them until we reach a place of acceptance and let go of what once was to feel what is.

You remember the good times, and keep those memories, then you make the decision to create new ones.

Here is the reality. Love is beautiful, and when it leaves we will feel pain. Instead of allowing the pain to overtake us we must take each relationship as a learning experience, and learn from them what we can. Then we should begin focusing time on ourselves and finding what truly makes us happy.

Sometimes we may not feel like being happy. You may not have the appetite to eat, or have the energy to get out of bed, but we have to push through that. Eventually the pain will subside and you will actually begin enjoying the things that you used to, and even appreciate life that much more.

So, you have to push through it girl! You are going to get through this, and you have to believe that. It starts with you believing that you can, and just doing it. Wake up every morning with a smile on your face and eventually you will be happy. Prepare your favorite meal and you will eat it.

I Hope This Helps!

Chauntel

email questions to askchauntel@gmail.com

How to Get My Friend to Stop Drinking – Free Life Advice – Ask Chauntel

Jess writes:

Hi, Chauntel.

First off I want to thank you. You’ve been a major help to me and my friends. I don’t know if you’ve adressed this in any of your videos already, but I have a friend who’s 19 and she has started drinking… I’m really worried about her and I don’t know what to do. I’ve tried everything I could think of but nothing works. I’ve been so worried and there has been a lot of other things going on and I started cutting myself again. What do you think I should do? 😦
Hi Jess,
Here is the response to your question:

How to Get Past the Awkward Stage in Your First Relationship – Relationship Advice – Ask Chauntel

Chauntel answers a question from a view who is struggling with how to communicate within their relationship without it being awkward. What can he do to move paste this stage of the relationship? What actions need to be taken? Watch! http://www.askchauntel.com

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Videos Mentioned:
Fun & Cheap Date Ideas – Chauntel’s Fun Fridays http://youtu.be/82_0_u8fez4
How to Talk to Women

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