This video explains how a combination of verbal and non-verbal cues can help transform your relationship from friendship to romance. Get out of the friendzone and catch your crush! Watch! Email questions to askchauntel@gmail.com
Related Video: How to Get Out of the Friendzone –
Related Video: How to Make a Friend a Boyfriend
Lala writes Hi Chauntel, I am wondering if you can help me with this. I am considered the “emo” girl I don’t mind that but labels are for soup cans. I am going on my first date soon and I would like some help with the look. 
Hi Lala,
Yes, people are always going to place a label on you no matter who you are or what you do. They will always find something bad to say. They did the same thing to Jesus when he was here on earth. Meaning, they called him names, and falsely labeled him. They also bullied and chastised him. You are his child. Although, we are all children of God some of us are lost. Those people who are talking about you and making you feel this way are those lost children. Because we are children of God you we will be taunted; However, we can overcome this through Jesus. He explains it in John 15:20-21. Here is the scripture:
Therefore, we must stay strong and continue to believe in who we truly are. As far as your date, I want you to have fun and stop worrying about these people and focus on what makes you, you. This is your day and you should dress in what makes you feel nice. He has to learn to accept you just as you are. Of course you should always put your best foot forward, but if you start trying to select things to make him like you, that don’t represent who you are, he is going to like some “off” version of you. To stay in the relationship you will then have to continue to play that character. Sounds exhausting right? Don’t do it! Be you!
Hey Jewels and Gems!
I this question comes from a youtube viewer named Jessica Roberts! I screen-shot her question below.
Hi Jessica!
The best way to convince your mom or dad to let you have an Instagram is to show them that you are responsible. Many times your parents may have a hard time with allowing you to use social media accounts because they are afraid that you are not mature enough to handle the responsibility.
The truth is that owning social media really has become apart of what we do and who we are socially, but it also forces you to mature very quickly. What you post on Instagram, Twitter, Facebook, Youtube, etc…. can effect you for the rest of your life.
I know that, that sounds a little over-kill, but it is so true. It is called your online footprint. Once it is posted it is available for all to see and even if you delete it, it may have already been screen-shot or recorded. So at 11 or 12 years old that is a lot of responsibility in your hands. This is most likely why your parents are choosing to be so selective with allowing you to have an Instagram account.
Having an Instagram account is not necessarily a bad thing, but if you are not responsible with what you post it can be.
So with all that being said, the best thing to do in your situation is show yourself to be responsible and trustworthy. And ask your parents at the appropriate time. It may take a few times, and it may not happen as soon as you would like but in due time they should let up.
Be patient and don’t try to sneak behind their backs to do it. If you do and they find out you will be in a much worse situation.
At this point that is all you can do. When you do finally get an Instagram account be wise with what you post. You don’t want to post something that can come back to bite you later if you know what I mean! 🙂
I Hope This Helps!
Chauntel
7th Grade Alyson writes:
Hey Chauntel,
I watch your videos and you give great advice. I was wondering if you could give me some advice right here. My boyfriend is moving away, and he is my best friend. It’s really hard to focus knowing that he’s leaving. I need some advice about what I should do, and if we should make it work or something. Then, we’ve talked about kissing. Well sort of… Our friends have talked about it, and agrees he should. But I really don’t know what to do. When should we do it, where? I really need to know what to do. I’m going Into 7th grade, and that’s pretty much the age everybody else has. So yeah if you could email me back, and please give me advice. That would mean the world for you to respond. Thanks 🙂
Hi Alyson,
First of all, thanks so much for your kind words, they really mean a lot. So I know this is a very hard time for you. There’s no getting around the fact that it will be very difficult.
However, I want you to know that you can absolutely get through this. It will be hard, but you have the strength within you to overcome the pain. It will hurt, and you will miss him because he has had a significant impact on your life. Even though it may seem like your world is crashing down in time it will get better.
If you want to kiss him, then by all means kiss him. However, don’t do it because you feel pressed to meet a quota. Just because “everyone else has done it or will do it by 7th grade” that is no reason for you to do it. Here is a quote I love to live by: “Why try so hard to fit in when you were born to stand out!”
You have nothing to prove to anyone else. I want you to be happy with yourself. So, if you want to kiss him, on your own terms then great, do it, but whatever you do, don’t use this moment to meet a quota to please “everybody else”. When it comes down to it, this is your big moment. Your real experience. I didn’t have mines until I was ready and you shouldn’t either. Your first kiss should be special.
Here was my response to another viewer a while back about where to have a first kiss. It also applies here:
“The best place, is more about the best time. Where you are is not as important as how you feel.
However, any outdoor setting or couch setting would be nice. Steer clear from bedrooms though because they could lead to unwanted occurrences.
Romantic settings are of course the beach or anywhere near water. A drive in movie in the car is always cute. Holding hands in the park on a starry night is another great idea. Exotic places, near a fireplace, or even under the doorstep could also work.”
And – your last question was should you try to stay together and work it out. Here is my advice about that, ultimately you two have to make that decision. However, what I will tell you is that you are very young it long distance relationships are hard. They are not impossible, but they only work if you live close enough where you will be able to see each other at somewhat often.
They can also be very risky in the long run. You don’t have to cut ties with him, but at this point choosing to be friends who hang out from time to time may be an option you might want to consider. Unless you are in a very serious relationship I think it would be easier for you to take a break at this point. You can always revisit the relationship later. If it is meant to be it will be. I know this isn’t really the news you wanted, but just know that everything will be ok in time. I have two videos that I will leave you with.
Love You Lots!
Chauntel
I am so excited to share with you all that I am pregnant. I will be uploading these updates on Fridays. If you are pregnant and in you 1st Trimester I share some useful tips for you to follow! Watch!
Video Mentioned at End: My Early Life Crisis
13-year-old Cody writes:
Hi Chauntel,
I think my girlfriend is going to kiss me, so how should I do it?
Hi Cody,
Kissing should happen in a fluid motion. It shouldn’t be rushed, and it very well shouldn’t make either of you feel pressured.
So, here are the basics:
1. Your hands should go around her waist, but not below the belt. Remember to always be respectful!
2. Her hands will naturally go above your shoulders around your neck.
3. Make eye contact. and see if she is on the same page and ready to go in for the kiss. If and when you see that she is, you can slowly go in for it. This will give you enough time to assess if she will meet you in the middle, or turn away instead.
Then you simply go in and naturally find her lips. After you lips meet, close your eyes. Otherwise it is a little weird.
And that is it! Great job you have had your first kiss!
I Hope This Helps!
Chauntel
He has been sending her mixed signals and she is having a hard time figuring out what it all means. Is this guy interested or not? Give your opinion and watch what Chauntel thinks about it! Chauntel gives advice to Samantha on what she should do to get her situation moving forward! Watch! email me askchauntel@gmail.com!
Vote: Is he Interested? – Watch the video first before you vote please 🙂
Videos Mentioned at End:
How to Flirt: http://youtu.be/cASCmKBpIrQ
How to Talk to Women Conversation Topics:
Hello My Jewels,
So, I am sure that you have heard of the “royal” wedding that united Kim Kardashian and Kayne West in holy matrimony over the weekend. And my ohhhh my did she look stunning to say the least! This dress was a much better option compared to the former dress she wore when she was wedded with Chris Humphries. It fits her shape like a glove, more on than the latter…In this post I will be sharing my advice to Kim and Kayne and other newly-wedded couples!
It is commonly shared that the first year of marriage is the most difficult. You may wonder why? Well there are many things to consider when starting your marriage off.
So here is my advice to Kim and Kanye as well as anyone else who is newly married or will be:
Keep you private conversations private. It is good to have a good friend/or family member as a relief system to talk to outside of your spouse, but don’t share incriminating information because it may cause resentment, unless you are being abused of course.
In lieu of the fact that you have busy schedules, be sure that you are spending quality time together. You may have busy schedules, but the last thing that you want is to be lacking in time spent together. It is just as important as the other things that you wish to do with your time.
Take time to show your appreciation to each-other by doing small little thoughtful things for each-other as a reminder that you care.
During the first year of marriage you learn each-other’s habits and expectations. Some of these are good and some bad. You may or may not agree with many of them, but you must communicate and establish a common ground. Here is where you learn to compromise.
To have a successful first year of marriage you must pay close attention to detail. What is it that your husband/wife wants and needs. You must identify that. Many times we speak with our eyes. So learn to read their non-verbal cues.
Also, don’t let the small hick-ups go unresolved. Communicate through every bump in the rode. If you allow bad feelings to grow you will eventually grow resentment towards your spouse. It is essential that you share your feelings often. Also, be sure that you spend quality time together. Time with your spouse needs to be included in your schedule just like everything else. Relationships take work and they occupy your time.
Be sure to praise your spouse for the things that they are doing well. If you only focus on what they are doing wrong you will find it difficult to make them feel good. They will also feel as though they are not making you happy which will in turn cause them to feel self-conscious. Even though you may not realize it, you two have expectations of each-other. These expectations are usually based off of what you have witnessed as a child as you watched your parents or “parent-like” figures interact. Be sure to communicate what you expect from each-other in the beginning.
Spend time doing things that you enjoy together, but also sacrifice and do things that each of you separately enjoy even if you personally don’t like those things. You do this because you love each-other.
Spend time with both of your families and friends. Keep it fair!
Share your life with your spouse. You want to make them feel like they are the center of your world.
I Hope This Helps!
Email Questions to askchauntel@gmail.com, and comment below with your advice!
-Chauntel
Hello Jewels!
Today I am inspired to share with you the proper way to communicate when you are upset with your romantic partner(boyfriend, girlfriend, husband, wife). Communication alone is difficult for most of us, but no one said that sustaining a healthy relationship would be easy. However, just like anything else if you want it to be good it takes time and effort.
When we are upset with our partners, there are usually two responses we may give. Our first instinct may be to give them the cold shoulder. Some may begin yelling uncontrollably. However, we well know that neither of these reactions will solve the problem.
If you choose to give them the cold shoulder, which in turn is choosing not communicate, you may find yourself at odds for a painstaking long time. This extended amount of time at odds just forces the situation to become more uncomfortable. Coincidently, what you were upset about at the beginning becomes distorted develops even more problems.
On the other hand, if you choose to begin yelling at them, not only do both of you raise your blood-pressure, watching the veins pop out of your necks, but you may also find yourself in a daze of anger. So, what is the best way to deal with this?
You have to talk calmly to one another, and it has to be in the right setting. Meaning the conversation should be held privately. Don’t have these types of conversations in front of children or friends. Sometimes, these conversations make you feel vulnerable, and they can become heated debates. You do not want your children to see this. Friends and family should also not witness this conversation. It can become very personal and it is best to be held privately. Many times, the way you handle this will determine the strength of your relationship.
Watch your words because you don’t want to end up saying something ugly simply because you were caught up in the moment. If you find yourself getting upset take a moment and count to 10. This will give you a moment to gather you thoughts, so that you can proceed forward with the conversation.
Be sure that when you are having the conversation you are honest about your feelings and be sure not to say things simply out of anger, or the desire to make your spouse/bf/gf hurt more. Also, don’t hold your feelings in. You cannot rectify the problem if you do not share with your partner what is wrong. Your goal here should be to identify the problem and find a solution. Do not ignore it and sweep it under the rug. It will only get worse. This must be a collaborative effort. Both of you have to put time into this, and work to make it better.
Lastly, after the issue has been resolved. Show some physical sign of remorse. Apologize, and figure out how the situation will be handled in the future.
I Hope This Helps!
Have a questions? Click here, tweet me, or email me at askchauntel@gmail.com!
Chauntel
The products that I am featuring in this haul video are mostly for dry hair. My hair is very, very, very dry, and I am on a journey to find products that will hydrate my hair and leave it full of life. I achieved bouncy curls with the products that I have mentioned in this video. I plan to do a review on some of them very soon. Let me know if you have used any of these products and what products you do use to help with your hair’s dryness! Many of the products include natural oils, which I love! Tweet me questions @askchauntel
Projects Mentioned can usually bought at your local beauty supply. You can also find them by clicking on the links below!
Africa’s Best Organics Hair Mayonnaise, 15 oz – larger than mines
Eco Styler Gel 16oz – Has Olive Oil! Mines did not!
Lottabody Olive Oil Setting Lotion 32 oz – It is a little overpriced here. I bought mines for $10
check ask chauntel's availability