How to Stop Having Sex With My EX- Relationship Advice – #AskChauntel

Happy New Year Jewels and Gems!

Dealing with a break-up or know someone who is? Chauntel has some great tips on dealing with and overcoming your break-up and dealing with the physical connection you attain during the relationship. You don’t have to go through this alone, there are people around you who care about you and want to help! These basic tips will get you out of your depression and on track to moving on and growing within yourself! Watch!

Videos Mentioned at End:
How to Let Go Of Your Ex

How to Get Over a Break-up

Does Size Matter?

Go Eww writes:
Hey Chauntel,
You give great advice and your point of view is different in a good way , at least to me it is. My question is very different I’m sure but w/e.
I’ve been seeing this beautiful girl she’s black and I’m half black myself, and our chemistry is perfect,everyone seems to think I’m really good looking and she tells me all the time.
I know she wants to get in bed with me for a fact the only reason it hasn’t happened yet is because I’m 6.5 inches long and I really wanted your opinion on this.
Like am I enough to leave her pleased, like i said very,but could you please write back to me, and understand I don’t mean to rude or gross at all.
I need to get rid of these nervous butterflies, I appreciate it thanks.

Hi Go Eww,

Thanks for your email, and for your kind words.
Screen Shot 2014-10-24 at 8.38.36 AMHere is my opinion, if you have watched enough of my videos you would know that although, I do my best to take a unbiased stance, my advice is given from my perspective.
With that in mind, you should also know that I am Christian. I believe that sex should be saved for marriage.
Moreover, to answer your question specifically, if you go into a physical relationship with her before there are real feelings there, it will be more of a physical expectation that she will have for you.
Meaning, if she considers your size too small for her it will be more of an issue if you go into a physical relationship too soon. If time passes, and you build feelings for each other your specific physical attributes will be less of a focus. Now, don’t get me wrong they will still have an impact, but it won’t be the only thing she has to base her decision on, on whether or not she wants to continue a relationship together.
Therefore, I recommend you wait to have sex, take it slow. If she really cares for you, she will accept you just the way God made you, just for who you are.
There is no need to be nervous, if its meant to be it will be. If she is not attracted to you it won’t work anyway. So, be confident in what you have and give the best version of yourself. That is all you can do.
If she doesn’t accept, well then on to the next! There will be another woman out there who will love every part of you and not want to change anything! You dig?
I Hope This Helps!
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How do you tell your parents that you are dating someone?

Dalia writes:

How do you tell your parents that you are dating someone?

courtesy of David Castillo Dominici

Hi Dalia,

Whenever you chose to express important information to someone that  you love you have to choose the appropriate time to do so. That means, you should not share this type of information when your parents are occupied with other things.

You should choose a time that you and your parents have together without any distractions. Choosing to do so in the middle of their favorite television show or while they are on the phone is not a good idea.

The best time to have a serious conversation with your parents is when they are relaxing and don’t already have a lot on their mind. For example, if you know that they had a bad day at work, or they are stressed about something going on that day, it’s probably not a good time to give them this type of news.

It is important to remember not to choose a time that is great for you, but terrible for them. This is a selfish choice, and you will probably not get the type of support that you are looking for.

However, choosing the appropriate time to share this type of information is only half of the battle. You have to prepare yourself for their reaction. You have to keep in mind that they may or may not support your decision. You are their baby, and they still see you as such. They may not be ready for you to be in a relationship. It is important for you to be respectful of their wishes.

Choosing the appropriate time, will afford you the opportunity for them to have the best reaction possible. Sharing this information is important, and doing so is good and very mature of you. Also, don’t give this information when you have guests with you. This should be done at a time when you are alone with your parents. You should choose to share this information when you all have leisure time, this will make the process less stressful. Always, remember your parents love you, and they want the best for you. Therefore, it is important to share and be honest with them.

I Hope This Helps!


How to Talk to Beautiful Women When You are Nervous or Shy – Dating Advice – Ask Chauntel

Chauntel explains why guys that fear talking to women struggle to connect with a girl. What must you do to get her attention? Where are you going wrong? There is an answer! Watch! How to To Talk to Women- Conversation Topics

My Bestfriend and I Like the Same Guy…I Think???

Confused writes:

Dear Chauntel,

I have a crush on a guy but i think the guy likes my best friend. I was too shy to talk to him and I\’m afraid that if I just randomly come up to him and start talking he will just feel really awkward and try to walk away. I\’m the type of girl who is fun to be around if i know someone really well but if i don\’t know someone, i just start to panic and become really quiet. My crush and my best friend are in the same class and somehow they always get paired up with each other. My crush keeps trying to talk with my best friend. Even though my best friend is not interested in him I somehow feel that she is afraid to tell me that she likes him. My best friend sometimes tries to avoid him and at other times tries to be friends with him. Although i didnt see the both of them talking but i know that they talk. I have heard it from several of my other friends and also my best friend who keep complaining to me (sometimes) about how annoying my crush is.I told everyone that i\’m not i nterested in that guy and i\’m trying to move on but it sometimes hurts me to see … Am I doing the right thing? Plz answer as fast as you can and tell me where i can find your answer. Thanks a lot for taking the time to read this and sorry for the grammatical mistakes.

by imagery majestic

Hi Confused,

I encourage you to be honest with your best-friend. Don’t pretend not to like the guy. Why lie about it?

However, if she does like him then the two of you should leave this guy alone because this could really effect your friendship. Don’t be afraid to talk to him. How else can you get to know him better?

Start with a smile and hello. It doesn’t have to be a long conversation.

 The main thing here is you do not want this guy to end up affecting the relationship that you have with your bestfriend. Bestfriends don’t come along often, and when they do you should cherish them!

I Hope This Helps!


How to get over your first love? – Relationship Advice – Ask Chauntel

Chauntel gives advice on how to get over your ex. What do you need to do to get through the pain of loosing the one you love? Watch!

Should I date a 17 year old guy when I am 13?

13-year-old MJ from California writes:

Dear Chauntel,

There’s this guy that I met but he’s 17 and I’m only 13 he wants to go out but idk if I should because of the age difference. We are always texting 24/7 and he says he doesn’t care about the age difference. I’m not all that new at dating so idk if I should say yes I really do want to he’s really sweet and nice. But also he lives 4 hours away he usually comes on the weekends and we hang out but never alone. When I’m with him I feel like I’m his gf he’s always flirting with me and he’s always saying sweet things..he’s my friends “cousin”..and one of my best friends ….should I date him or not?
Hi MJ,
I understand your hesitation. This guy is too old for you, and it’s not as much the age difference as it is the maturity level.
Older guys can more easily take advantage of you. I am sure that you are mature in many areas, but when it comes to dating I would like to see you gain some more  more years before you begin dating a guy that is four years older than you. I am sure that he has had much more experience with girls than you have with guys. He will therefore begin to introduce you to things that you may not be ready to encounter yet.
It would be better to find someone who is your age, and who you are able to grow with. The fact that he lives so far is also going to limit your ability to date. I honestly don’t think this is a good idea. You can be friends, but being anything more than that at this point is not a good idea.
If you are completely for this you need to get permission from your parents, but you will be setting yourself up for heartache. Soon he will be 18 and out of high school, and who knows what will happen then. Just save yourself the heartache on this one and date someone closer to your age.
I Hope This Helps!

How can you tell if someone cares?

Richard writes:

Hi Chauntel,

I wanted to ask you for advice in finding out if a girl really cares about you? Please notice, I didn’t ask if she likes or loves you, because anyone can claim with their words that they like or love you, but its more challenging to find out if they really care about you with actions or other concrete ways.

Thanks for answering my question.

Hello Richard,

People show that they care through their actions. Just giving you lip service (talking about it) does not mean much.

You have to examine your interactions with them.

Answer these five questions:
1. Does she treat you well?
2. Does she make time for you?
3. Does she include you in her plans?
4. Does she make you feel good when you are around her?
5. Is she willing to compromise on reasonable things to make you happy?

If she doesn’t treat you well, doesn’t make time for you, doesn’t include you in her plans, makes you feel insecure, and is not willing to compromise sometimes to make you happy, then she really doesn’t care too much about you.

One thing that I want you to take note of is people show that they care through different methods. Why? Well it is simple, everyone is different. Some people show that they care buy cooking, some by purchasing a special gift, some by making extra time in their day, some by expressing themselves through music or poetry, and some by physical touch.

There is a book that I would like to recommend to you. It is the 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman, and it’s less than $10 bucks. You can pretty much find it anywhere. Don’t get freaked out, I know that you said you didn’t want to use the L word, but face it if you care about someone you usually do love them, not to say that you have to be in love with them.

The 5 Love Languages
The 5 Love Languages

I hope you find what you are looking for.

Be Blessed,


How to Overcome Jealousy in a Relationship – Relationship Advice – Ask Chauntel

Chauntel explains to Rob what he must do now that he has shown himself too jealous. Been in this situation? Watch!

How to Not be a Rebound – Ask Chauntel

Terrance writes:

Dear Chauntel,

Ok so I started dating this girl right after she broke up with ger BF of two years, we’ve been going together for a month and I fell in love with her, I dont want to get hurt, what to do…

Hi Terrance,

Coming into a new relationship with someone when they have just come out of one can be difficult.

It takes a lot of patience on your part because you have to be understanding of what she is feeling. Beyond that you must also be aware that she may or may not be in the best emotional state to be receiving a relationship.

With all that in mind how can you ensure that you don’t get hurt and don’t end up a rebound? You cannot. However, you can take these precautions.

If you feel that the person that you are in the relationship is not ready for commitment, don’t try to pressure them into it. Guard your heart as much as you can while you wait it out. It will be easy for them to throw themselves into their new relationship and ignore what they are feeling from their past relationship. It is up to you to be aware of that, and take things slow.

Don’t rush into anything serious until you are confident that they have left their last relationship in the past. If you build a friendship with your lover slowly you will be in tune with what they are feeling. When you feel that youchauntelavatar are both on the same level of thinking and feeling then the two of you can slowly start moving into a more committed relationship, but not before.

I Hope This Helps!


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