When it comes to love and relationships it can be very difficult to patiently wait for the other person to get on the same page as you. Especially when it comes to marriage. But sometimes you just got to do it! So how do you go about that? This video should help! Leave your thoughts below! Peace and Love!
Tag: marriage advice
How to Have Succesful Marriage – Ask Chauntel
I’m back and ready to share some useful tips for you!
Kendra Chooses to Stay With Hank Baskett After He Cheated- Should You Stay Married After Infidelity?
Kendra Baskett has been thrust into the spotlight since her time in the Playboy Mansion. The reality star and model starred in the E! reality television series Girls Next Door. This series documented her life as one of Hugh Hefner’s girlfriends. She now headlines her own reality series Kendra on Top. With all of this time in the lime light Kendra has shared intimate moments of her life with a broad audience. Her husband Hank, of six years, allegedly cheated on her with a transexual model, Ava London. Hank was very remorseful and went into a deep depression surrounding the time of his affair, he shares with US Weekly. “For the past two years, I’ve gone through a serious struggle with depression, and during that time I lost the ability to open up to
my best friend, Kendra,” Hank told Us Weekly. “I had trouble thinking of the right thing to say the right way, especially in a situation like this, where it’s your word against someone else’s.” When the story about her perfect marriage, looking to be in shambles, broke Kendra found it difficult to deal with all of the pressure of media. However, she handled it gracefully. During, her exclusive interview with Access Hollywood Kendra defended her marriage. Then, in a later interview with Giuliana Rancic, Kendra stated: “I cannot shut this man down. I’m willing to spend the rest of my life trying to figure this out rather than spend one night single.” Whether or not you agree with Kendra’s decision, you must believe that it took a lot of strength for her to stand up against the media’s chastising of her decision to stay with Hank. Do you agree with Kendra’s decision, vote below? My Opinion: I feel that Kendra made this decision based on what was best for her. It’s easy to point fingers and say what she should do, but its her marriage and her life. Unless, you can live it for her, let her make her own decision and don’t ridicule her for it! We can all take time to judge what Hank has done, and most would tell her to leave him. However, we do not have all the facts, and we are not in their relationship. If their love is strong enough to survive, then let it go on! But Kendra, if these patterns with Hank continue get-out-of-dodge!
How to Keep Your Husband’s Attention – Marriage Advice
Hello Jewels! This one is for all of my married ladies out there! I hope to be writing to you more often! So send me questions about your woes to askchauntel@gmail.com, or click contact above. So, we women have a lot of responsibility. The twenty first century woman is no less busy than her predecessors. Although, some of her tasks may have been made easier through modern technology, modern society has found a way to pile up the tasks even higher. They require time and energy. Let’s consider, a modern day women has to take care of the home, take care of herself, take care of her children, take care of her husband, and work a job. Now these big responsibilities are filled with many small ones, that shall remain nameless at this point. So how can a modern day women accomplish all of her responsibilities well, while still making her husband feel loved and appreciated and keep her head? Well let’s be honest, it is no easy suit. It really comes down to time management. Ok, so no body is perfect but spending some time planning and prioritizing your man’s needs into your life is essential. True, it is not that he doesn’t matter, even though he may begin to feel a little unappreciated at times. In fact it is quite the contrary. With the added responsibility of children and a job the husband can sometimes suffer a little bit of lost of our time. 
It is therefore, essential that we as women plan our time accordingly and keep time with him as a constant priority. Now, don’t stress yourself out in the process, just make a conscious effort to plan time with him. It may not work out perfectly everyday, but you have to give it a go. He will know if you are trying. The last thing that we want, is our man to feel that we could care less about him. So here is some friendly advice to keep his attention and his attraction on you. 1. Exercise – Now, we know beauty doesn’t last forever visually, but let’s help it as much as we can by keeping our body and health up. It will keep your body looking and feeling beautiful. 2. Have Some Me Time – Time to reflect, meditate, pray, relax is very essential to keeping your mind at ease. It will help you to stress out less. This will in turn keep down arguments between you and your spouse and children. It will also keep you from being high strung and naggy. 3. Spend Some Alone Time With Him Often – The two of you have to decide exactly how often is often, but you must have a weekly goal that you should try to reach on time that you spend alone together. 5. Have a Date Night – These should occur weekly. 6. Fulfill His Requests – Well you know what they are! Listen to his concerns and be sure to highlight those areas of you that he finds attractive. 7. Look Your Best – Just because you’re married it doesn’t mean your dead. So wear lingerie for him. Be cute around the house as much as you can! Just take care of yourself. 8. Compliment Him – Let him know how much you love and appreciate him! Compliment him on specific things that he does that you enjoy! Having a Hard time prioritizing and setting that goal? Check Out My Video: How to Set a Goal and Plan for Success
Well ladies, I hope this helps! Send questions to askchauntel@gmail.com Tweet/Insta @askchauntel
Help My Husband Is Addicted to Drugs
Lily Ann writes:
Dear Chauntel,
I d0n’t kn0w what do. I need advice. My husband is a drug abuser, and our relationship is not working. However, I love him and so do our children.
We have tried to come to an agreement, but it is useless. How long will I wait for him to be a good man and not always lie? I want to leave him, but its really hurtful. I don’t want to regret anything. I feel like it would be ruining my own family. I am also dealing with verbal abuse from him.
Please help me Chauntel!
Hi Lily Ann,
You are in a very difficult situation, and I am sorry that you have to endure such pain. However, I applaud you for admitting that this is a challenge in your lif
e and seeking for a way to face it.
It is essential that your husband receives professional help. However, he has to be ready and willing to seek out this help. Neither you nor anyone else can make him change, it has to be a conscious decision that he wants to make in his life.
It reminds me of the metaphor, you can bring a horse to water, but you cannot make him drink.
So here is my advice to you, seek some spiritual counseling for yourself and for your children. If you are not involved in a church I think now is a great time to introduce yourself and your children to the comfort and support that God brings.
Then, I want you to utilize the resources around you to get your husband the help that he needs and deserves. If he is willing to receive help great, you guys can work towards a positive future. If you are not able to find resources around you. I have a list of Crisis Help Resources here on my website that should be of use to you. Here is the link.
In addition, if he is causing harm to you and your children and is not in the mindset to receive help or make a change you will have to part ways with him. I know that this is a very difficult situation to be in, and no wife wants to leave her husband. However, you have to consider you and your children’s safety and well being.
I hope that he is willing to receive help to break this bad habit and find spiritual peace within himself as well, but it is truly his decision to make.
You can bring him to the water of life, but he has to choose to follow you and take the steps necessary to try to make a better life for you and your children.
If he does not, he will leave you with no choice but to part ways.
I will be praying for you and your family. I hope it works out, and I wish you all the best!
Peace and Love!
Chauntel
email questions to askchauntel@gmail.com send questions to Insta/Twitter @askchauntel
Advice to Gabrielle Union – How to Marry a Man with Children – Celebrity Tuesdays
Adding to the tradition of expanding my blog topics. I will be writing love and life advice to celebrities on Tuesdays. Feel free to apply this advice to your life, love and relationships! BTW this was my husbands idea, and I have to hand it to him, he is awesome! Shout out to DavD Beats!
Here was my first post in this category that I wrote to Kim and Kanye when they were married. The title of this post was: Advice to Kim Kardashian & Kayne West on How to Survive Year 1 of Marriage, CLICK TO READ
So here it goes!
Two beautiful and talented people tied the not last month, actress Gabrielle Union, 41, and Miami Heat player Dwyane Wade, 32. They celebrated their nuptials in Miami, Florida. It was a family affair which they shared with Dwyane’s adorable boys.
When you first get married there is a transition period where you get to know the good, the bad, and the ugly. There are expectations and realities that are not present in a dating relationship that you begin to learn and witness once you get married. The first year of marriage can be considered difficult because it is a transition period. Both parties are learning their new roles, while simultaneously still attempting to keep a sense of self.
This becomes even more difficult when children are added to the equation because not only are you dealing with the transition into becoming a husband or a wife, but you also have to make a transition to be mommy and daddy. Doing this simultaneously can prove to be difficult. It forces you to take on twice as many responsibilities, and it can put a strain on your relationship. Therefore, it is essential that you handle it with care and stay flexible!
Having children in your life is a true blessing from God! As much of a blessing as they are, it takes hard work to be a parent. If you choose to marry into a family with children, you not only marry your spouse but you also marry their children. You should be prepared to be a parent and treat them fairly. You have to become self-less and learn that you have to show them love. You must also realize that this is going to be a slow growing process. There will be times where you will get along and other times where you will not see eye-to-eye. However, you must note that this is a full time job that you cannot choose to quit. You have to hang in there and build up the relationship.
If you are the spouse who is bringing the children into the new marriage, choose wisely. You should never choose to marry anyone who does not love and respect your children. If you do you will regret it and the marriage will be sour.
When considering time together with your spouse you must know that their time will be split between you and their children, and you should be happy with the fact that they love and want to take care of their children. If they don’t take care of their children what makes you think that they will take care of you?
With this in mind it is also important that both spouses set time aside for just the two of you. It is important that you have that bonding time, especially when you first get married. You must consider time with both your spouse and their children, who will now be called YOUR children. Many marriages struggle as a result of a difference of opinions on how to spend money and how to raise children.
As a result having children can add stress to a relationship, so it is absolutely essential that the bride and groom discuss their expectations long before the choose to get married. This way there are not any huge surprises, and with God’s help the rest can be communicated through! Always keep him at the center of your relationship, and the head of your children’s lives, and everything will work out just fine! In fact, you will find yourself to be a happy and healthy family!
Congrats to Gabrielle and Dwayne and all of you other newly married couples with children! We are rooting for ya!
I Hope This Helps!
Chauntel
email questions to askchauntel@gmail.com
Advice to Kim Kardashian & Kayne West on How to Survive Year 1 of Marriage
Hello My Jewels,
So, I am sure that you have heard of the “royal” wedding that united Kim Kardashian and Kayne West in holy matrimony over the weekend. And my ohhhh my did she look stunning to say the least! This dress was a much better option compared to the former dress she wore when she was wedded with Chris Humphries. It fits her shape like a glove, more on than the latter…In this post I will be sharing my advice to Kim and Kayne and other newly-wedded couples!
It is commonly shared that the first year of marriage is the most difficult. You may wonder why? Well there are many things to consider when starting your marriage off.
So here is my advice to Kim and Kanye as well as anyone else who is newly married or will be:
Keep you private conversations private. It is good to have a good friend/or family member as a relief system to talk to outside of your spouse, but don’t share incriminating information because it may cause resentment, unless you are being abused of course.
In lieu of the fact that you have busy schedules, be sure that you are spending quality time together. You may have busy schedules, but the last thing that you want is to be lacking in time spent together. It is just as important as the other things that you wish to do with your time.
Take time to show your appreciation to each-other by doing small little thoughtful things for each-other as a reminder that you care.
During the first year of marriage you learn each-other’s habits and expectations. Some of these are good and some bad. You may or may not agree with many of them, but you must communicate and establish a common ground. Here is where you learn to compromise.
To have a successful first year of marriage you must pay close attention to detail. What is it that your husband/wife wants and needs. You must identify that. Many times we speak with our eyes. So learn to read their non-verbal cues.
Also, don’t let the small hick-ups go unresolved. Communicate through every bump in the rode. If you allow bad feelings to grow you will eventually grow resentment towards your spouse. It is essential that you share your feelings often. Also, be sure that you spend quality time together. Time with your spouse needs to be included in your schedule just like everything else. Relationships take work and they occupy your time.
Be sure to praise your spouse for the things that they are doing well. If you only focus on what they are doing wrong you will find it difficult to make them feel good. They will also feel as though they are not making you happy which will in turn cause them to feel self-conscious. Even though you may not realize it, you two have expectations of each-other. These expectations are usually based off of what you have witnessed as a child as you watched your parents or “parent-like” figures interact. Be sure to communicate what you expect from each-other in the beginning.
Spend time doing things that you enjoy together, but also sacrifice and do things that each of you separately enjoy even if you personally don’t like those things. You do this because you love each-other.
Spend time with both of your families and friends. Keep it fair!
Share your life with your spouse. You want to make them feel like they are the center of your world.
I Hope This Helps!
Email Questions to askchauntel@gmail.com, and comment below with your advice!
-Chauntel
How to Communicate with your Romantic Partner When You are Upset
Hello Jewels!
Today I am inspired to share with you the proper way to communicate when you are upset with your romantic partner(boyfriend, girlfriend, husband, wife). Communication alone is difficult for most of us, but no one said that sustaining a healthy relationship would be easy. However, just like anything else if you want it to be good it takes time and effort.
When we are upset with our partners, there are usually two responses we may give. Our first instinct may be to give them the cold shoulder. Some may begin yelling uncontrollably. However, we well know that neither of these reactions will solve the problem.
If you choose to give them the cold shoulder, which in turn is choosing not communicate, you may find yourself at odds for a painstaking long time. This extended amount of time at odds just forces the situation to become more uncomfortable. Coincidently, what you were upset about at the beginning becomes distorted develops even more problems.
On the other hand, if you choose to begin yelling at them, not only do both of you raise your blood-pressure, watching the veins pop out of your necks, but you may also find yourself in a daze of anger. So, what is the best way to deal with this?
You have to talk calmly to one another, and it has to be in the right setting. Meaning the conversation should be held privately. Don’t have these types of conversations in front of children or friends. Sometimes, these conversations make you feel vulnerable, and they can become heated debates. You do not want your children to see this. Friends and family should also not witness this conversation. It can become very personal and it is best to be held privately. Many times, the way you handle this will determine the strength of your relationship.
Watch your words because you don’t want to end up saying something ugly simply because you were caught up in the moment. If you find yourself getting upset take a moment and count to 10. This will give you a moment to gather you thoughts, so that you can proceed forward with the conversation.
Be sure that when you are having the conversation you are honest about your feelings and be sure not to say things simply out of anger, or the desire to make your spouse/bf/gf hurt more. Also, don’t hold your feelings in. You cannot rectify the problem if you do not share with your partner what is wrong. Your goal here should be to identify the problem and find a solution. Do not ignore it and sweep it under the rug. It will only get worse. This must be a collaborative effort. Both of you have to put time into this, and work to make it better.
Lastly, after the issue has been resolved. Show some physical sign of remorse. Apologize, and figure out how the situation will be handled in the future.
I Hope This Helps!
Have a questions? Click here, tweet me, or email me at askchauntel@gmail.com!
Chauntel
Ask Chauntel 