18-year-old Veronica from Maryland writes:

Hey Chauntel,

I have never been in a relationship before. No one has ever taken the time to notice me I guess. I’m in college now, and I got my braces off over the summer before college. Now everyone is saying I look way different from high school. Even though it was a few months ago. Any ways now all these guys approach me wherever I go. Mostly guys in their 20’s and 30’s, never my age. All they want from me is one thing, sex. I want to wait until marriage, and I want a guy that respects me. However, it seems the only thing guys see in me is just another body to add to their list.  I don’t know what to do? I want a relationship not just a fling.

Hello Veronica,

If you want a relationship and not a fling then a relationship you shall have. When I entered college I began to also notice older men showing interest in me. I didn’t know how to deal with it either at first. I soon learned that I was in complete control over myself and the guys I chose to let into my life.

If you want men to respect you, you have to respect yourself by setting a standard for yourself. Guys will only show respect to you as far as you ask for it. It isn’t always in what you say it is in how you carry yourself and the morals and values you set for yourself. You seem like you have some strong ones so I am sure that you will be fine.

Don’t give into the pressures of sex. It won’t be easy, but if you don’t want to just become another number on someone’s list then don’t! Keep yourself for marriage as you said you wanted to. I did, so I know you can too! Keep God in your life, and it will all work out!

And good for you for being awesome!

Be Blessed!

Chauntel

Ps. Here is a video that I produced for a woman with a struggle somewhat related to your situation: