How to Choose the Perfect Christmas Gift For Your Sweetheart – Relationship Advice – Ask Chauntel

Chauntel gives you a few tips that will help you select the perfect gift for that special some one! Watch!

 

He is Afraid of Commitment – Relationship Advice

by david castillo
by david castillo

Stacey writes:

Hello Chauntel,

Me and this guy have been hanging out every single day since we met for the past 3 months. Everyone thinks that were a couple and in a relationship because of our chemistry and that we look good together. I have been embracing our friendship and enjoying our time together he hugs me too and kisses me in public hold me and treats me like his girlfriend his family even thinks we’re together. He did tell me that he had commitment issues but only recently did he say he doesn’t see us as a item meaning he was pulling the friend card on me. What does this mean and what should I do because I am completely confused on how to people can be so good together in one can’t see that.

Hi Stacey,

Well, if you continuously went into this knowing that he has commitment issues, you couldn’t expect anything more.

Now this is not to say, that you shouldn’t want more. Just because it may seem like you are together to other people and it may even feel like it to you sometimes you know the truth, you are not. Don’t torture yourself with pretending that this is not the reality.

You have complete control over this situation. Either you are going to accept this situation just as it is, or you are going to part ways with this guy.

If he doesn’t want to commit you cannot, nor should you force him to. Don’t waste too much time here. Treat it as a casual dating relationship and keep dating other guys. He needs to get his feelings together, then you might have a shot at a real relationship. Until then you may as well just have fun with no strings attached. I know this isn’t what you want, but it is what you have.

If you don’t want it anymore, then let him know. At that point he may or may not choose to continue a relationship with you, the type of relationship that you want.

I Hope This Helps!

Chauntel

email questions to askchauntel@gmail.com

Can I Date My Friend’s 1 Nightstand? – Dating Advice – Ask Chauntel

Brooke writes:

Hey Chauntel,

So I really like this guy and we both have expressed our feelings for each other over the phone. But there is a problem, my best friend who is basically my sister, hooked up with him last time we were out, she called him as her “tap and gap” and I appreciated that, because i didn’t know him then. But then we started talking over facebook all the time day and night, which led to phone calls and Skype calls. And I slowly grew feelings for him. He now walks me and my ‘best friend’ home once or twice week, and saying all the cute sh** every girl wants to hear. He gives me his beanie, and is apparently coming over to my house, but here’s the thing I ended up telling my best friend that I like him and she doesn’t like it. So she picks up all of my stuff (I was at her house) and throws it outside and tells me to get the f@%k out! So I do, and she slams the door and goes inside and cries for a good 20-30 minutes. She then tells me she likes him too. Oh, I forgot to tell you, the night we told each other we liked each other he also decided to tell me he likes her too.

We talked it out and now everything between me and him isn’t the same, we barely talk now, way less compared to what we normally do, and he is just acting different. He went from all the I trust you so much, I love you, I can’t believe your staying up so late for me, while telling me everything about himself, and knowing all the little details about me. And all the cute stuff they would normally say. And I really don’t know what to do, because I don’t want to loose my friendship between my best friend and my self but neither me and his relationship. I figured that if I slowly stop talking to him my feelings will go, but each and every moment of the day it kills me not talking, and I honestly need some advice on what to do. Please could you help me with what to do, I really want to get back to how we use to talk and the things we’d do together.

Thank you so much, Brooke xo


Image
Hi Brooke,

Let’s talk girl code here. You have to let this go. She has already had sex with him which cancels out your chances with him. How would you feel if you were in her position? No doubt you would be ferious of her if she tried dating him after you had slept with him.

To add to this nonsense, he obviously doesn’t know what he wants, but who even cares what he wants. He is causing unecessary confusion that could end your friendship. Which is more important, your friendship or this guy. Ultimately, you will have to decide.

But not to worry my dear, it won’t go too far. He is scum. Stop hanging out with him.

I Hope This Helps!

Chauntel

email questions to askchauntel@gmail.com

I Like My Brother’s Friend – Ask Chauntel

14-year-old Katey writes:
Hey Chauntel!
I have a problem most girls probably have if they have an older brother. I like one of his friends, but I’m not sure what to do because sometimes he seems interested in me and other times he doesn’t.
What should I  do? Is it wrong to date one of my brother’s friends?
Thanks 🙂
Brother and Sister
by Sicha Pongjivanich

Hello Katey!

Of course you can date one of your brother’s friends. However, you should talk to your brother first and see if he is ok with it. There is no use in starting a fight between you and your brother over a guy. Your relationship with your brother is very important.
Also, if you start something up with this guy just keep in mind that he was your brother’s friend first. So if things go sour, you will probably have to deal with the awkwardness of seeming him around. If you are ok with that and your brother gives his blessing go for it!.
I Hope This Helps!
Chauntel
email questions to askchauntel@gmail.com

Embarrassed of My Parents – Teen Bullying – Ask Chauntel

A very heartfelt response to an emotional story. She doesn’t remember the last time that she went shopping, and she is being bullied for it. Can you relate? Rate, comment and subscribe!

First Kiss Kissing Tips for Girls – Ask Chauntel

13-year-old Abby writes:

Hi Chauntel,

My boyfriend wants to kiss me he was going to today, but I got really nervous and chickened out. What are some tips you can give me? How do I start the kiss? Do I just continue kissing till he stops? How do I prepare?

Hope you can help!

kiss photostock
by photostock

Hi Abby!

You should only kiss him when you are ready. There is no rush in this. I say let him be the initiator. He is the guy, so let him take the lead. Don’t time it or anything just let it happen naturally and go for as long as it seems appropriate.
Just know your limits. Before you go into this “first-kiss” situation know what you are comfortable with and not comfortable with. For example, don’t let his hands roam. They need to stay above the waste and away from your “special” areas. This video that I recorded should also be helpful!
I Hope This Helps!
Chauntel

Is He Using Me For Sex? – Relationship Advice – Ask Chauntel

If you have ever wondered if the guy you are with is using this video for sex this video will help. Chauntel answers a question from Mya a who is having a difficult time deciding how to express herself to her guy about how she feels. He doesn’t kiss her anymore. What should she do? Watch!

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How Do I Get Him to Notice Me? – Love and Basketball -Ask Chauntel

Brooklyn writes:

Hi Chauntel,

During break my friends and I go to the gym and play basketball. I recently started noticing this guy who is in grade 12, and is 17. I’m in grade 10 and 15. He is really religious so I know he has great morals and such.

I was wondering your opinion on this situation, and how I would make him notice me and eventually get to know him?

ImageHi Brooklyn!

Well, if you see him at the gym start up a conversation there. See if you can get a game going between his and your friends. The fact that he is religious is a good thing. Hopefully, you all have the same beliefs. Be yourself, play a game with him, or if he happens to be in the middle of a game try to set one up at a later time. Give him your number and let him know that he can text you to set something up later, on downtown. Then see if he does. If he doesn’t then you know he isn’t really interested. If he does that is a great sign! Play the game and flirt with him during and after.

Then invite him out with your friends to casually grab something to eat afterwards. Be sure to sit with him, and let him know that you had a great time, and would like to talk to him more.

Good Luck!

I Hope This Helps!

Chauntel

email questions to: askchauntel@gmail.com

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My BestFriend Has a Crush On Me…But I Don’t Like Her

15-year-old Matt writes:

Hey there Chauntel,

There is this girl that I have had a crush on for about a year and a half now. So I have been watching a bunch of videos on how to tell if a girl likes you. Well the other day a friend told me that my best friend Ots (also a girl, I am not gay) likes me. I have been friends with her since i was like 7.

And after that i noticed that she shows all the signs in the videos, but I always just thought she was being friendly.
Then on the next Monday was talking to Ots and a friend came and said something about Kaitlin ( the girl I like) when that person left Ots was just like “you like Kaitlin?” So I said yes then she said “I have to go… See you tomorrow” then hugged me and left. I have spoken to her since but she has been weird. Then on Thursday i was talking to Kaitlin and she said Ots hasn’t spoken since Monday, but they were really close. My problem is that I have my first date with Kaitlin this weekend but i don’t want to ruin friendships. I really like Kaitlin but i have been best friends with Ots for years!!!! What do I do?????

Hello Matt,

If you have feelings for Kaitlin then go out with her. If this other girl is really your friend she won’t un-friend you simply because you are interested in someone else. If she does, then she was never your friend to begin with.

You cannot live your life according to someone else’s watch. If she gets upset then that is her problem. You are not in a romantic relationship with her, and you don’t owe her anything. If she is your friend then she needs to start acting like it!

I Hope This Helps!

Chauntel

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Thanks

My Boyfriend is a Jew, and I am a Christian – Relationship Advice – Ask Chauntel

15-year-old Summer from England writes:

Hello Chauntel!

I have a boyfriend who lives maybe 30 minutes away by train. We meet on a online chat room, and the same week we agreed to meet.
We have meet 3 times since. He’s 16 nearly 17. We have only known each other 5 weeks.
He asked me out on the second time we meet, and i said yes. I can’t tell my parents because they are really strong Christians and he is Jewish, they wont let me have a boyfriend, let alone a Jewish one. I don’t want to tell them just in case they don’t let me see him.
He has told all his friends and family that we are dating, but saying we meet at a party not online because he’s embarrassed of where we meet.
We Skype nearly everyday and i really really like him What should i do?!
Love from
Summer
xxxxxxxx

Mom and Daughter
Hello Summer,
When it comes to religion, it gets really gummy. I understand your dilemma. However, keeping him a secret is not the answer.
If you were of a marrying age my advice would be different(mostly run far away, This won’t work out., I wouldn’t touch this with a ten foot poll!), but since you are  so young this is how I would approach your situation.
Go to you parents and tell them that you are interested in dating someone. Let them meet him. Try to stray away from conversations about religion. Don’t lie to you parents. If they ask then you must be honest, but if they don’t ask then don’t bring it up. Here is the thing, sneaking around, having secret train rides is dishonest and not safe. Also, you will loose their trust, and this for you will be unbearable.
They will trust you much more if you let them know that you met someone. If after you have to told them the truth, they still ban you from talking to him because of your differing religions you must respect their wishes.
As children of God, we must obey our parents. It is written, Ephesians 6:1, “Children, obey your parents in the Lord for this is right.”
Also, I wouldn’t make too big a deal out of this. It would be unwise to get into a deeply rooted relationship with him because eventually you will have to part ways.
The Bible informs us that to be together we must be equally yoked. What does that mean?
It means you have to be of the same mind. Meaning amongst other things, same religion, same values. There is a scripture in Amos, that says (Amos 3:3) “How can two walk together unless they touch and agree.” Now it doesn’t mean literraly touch. This verse in symbolic. Meaning on the same level spiritually.
I know that this can be annoying as well as  seem unfair. I have been in your situation. I was a little older, but it was the same type of thing. I was dating a guy who was of a different denomination that me. I am deeply rooted in mine. We couldn’t agree, and fought a lot. I thought to myself, how can I be with a guy who doesn’t believe the same things as I do. What will my children believe? It was then that I decided it would not be a good idea to become too deeply involved with him. I dated him casually until I met the next guy. The end goal was to find a man that I could eventually marry. Which I did, and he is a catch :)!
Now, the religion title itself is not what matters. The belief system is what matters. As long as you go into your relationship with this understanding then I think you will be ok. But I recommend that you let your parents know that you are dating someone. Again, SNEAKING AROUND BEHIND THEIR BACKS IS NO THE ANSWER.
I Hope That Helps!
Chauntel
Email questions to askchauntel@gmail.com
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