In this video I present a topic that we all come into contact with, agreeing to disagree. Check it out to learn more about how we can salvage relationships and decrease arguments by finding a common ground.
Tag: Ask Chauntel
Mommy Monday – Labor and Delivery Story
15 Tips on How to Become Popular on Youtube
Kayla writes:
Hi Chauntel,
How do you become popular on YouTube.
Hi Kayla!
Here are some tips on becoming popular on YouTube:
1. Be Consistent
2. Create Good/Interesting Content
3. Make Videos on Topics You are Passionate About
4. Be Yourself
5. Cover Topics People are Searching For/Your Subscribers Want
6. Have Your Own Voice
7. Make Good Thumbnails
8. Have Good Lighting
9. Make a Nice Background
10. Keep Your Personality Bright and Inviting
11. Share Your Videos/Tell People What You Do
12. Use Social Media to Advertise
13. Make Videos that You Would Want to Watch
14. Be Confident
15. Utilize Music that Matches Your Video/Your Voice/Your Style
I Hope This Helps!
Chauntel
Women are Rejecting Me Sexually – Dating Advice – Ask Chauntel
Donald writes:
Hey Chauntel,
I haven’t been in a relationship for a while (say 3years).
I am into masturbation a lot which makes up for my sexual desires.
I feel like I need a woman to share my life with, but I can’t seem to attract them.
I go out on dates with women, but they seem to not want to sleep with me. Every time we plan to meet up for sex, I was always get excuses for why they couldn’t make it.
Can you help me with how to overcome this problem?
Hi Donald,
As a result of my Christian values I am an advocate of saving sex until marriage.
To answer your question more specifically, a physical relationship develops after an emotional relationship is underway. Therefore, if you are not building a solid emotional connection with the person you are dating, you will find it very difficult to have a physical one.
So here is my advice, instead of focusing so much on the physical aspect of your relationships, you need to focus on building a solid emotional connection. If a woman feels that she is being used for sex she will automatically reject you. I understand that we all have physical needs and desires, but you are approaching this the wrong way. What you need to do is build a relationship with someone that is true and the rest will come in time!
I Hope This Helps!
Chauntel
email questions to askchauntel@gmail.com
How to Prevent Suicidal Thoughts
Hello Jewels and Gems,
A harsh reality is that many people around us are hurting. At times they cannot see a way to overcome their pain and circumstances. It is during these times that we have to be there to show our love and support.
This post is inspired by a viewer who sent me a question recently about wanting to prevent themselves from committing suicide.
To the Person Having Suicidal Thoughts:
You are Loved
It is important for you to know that you are loved. It may seem like everyone and everything around you is going downhill and out of your control, but even during the times that you feel alone just know that you are loved. Even if the people around you do not show you love, God loves you.
You Matter
Remind yourself that you matter. At times we feel unwanted and unneeded because people in our lives have made us feel like we are not important. Don’t let those horrible people define you. If you were not here, someone would miss you. In most cases many will miss you.
You Have a Purpose Exclusive to You
If you didn’t know it, you have a purpose. There are specific gifts and talents that have been given to you that no one can take away. Even if you have been told that you are not good enough, strong enough, smart enough, you have to believe that you are.
Sometimes it takes time to define your purpose in life. However, it is important for you to know that no one can live your purpose for you. You were made by God for a specific reason. Only you can find that, and if you take it upon yourself to take your life you are robbing the world of your gifts and talents.
Life is Worth Living
Even during the hard times, you must remember that your life is truly worth living. There is nothing so bad in life that you should take your on life. There is always another option. You have other choices. There is a way to make your situation and your circumstance better, but you have to allow time and effort to make those changes happen.
Gather Support
Many times when a person is having suicidal thoughts its because they spend too much time alone. Sometimes we rob ourselves of time with others for one reason or another, but we all need someone. You cannot live life alone. You were not born alone, you didn’t live alone(within reason there is always someone near you even if they are a house away), and if you can help it you shouldn’t die alone.
Get Professional Help
If you have someone around you that you can trust talk to that individual, and let them know what is going on with you, this way they can be there to support you. They can also assist you in finding the help that you need and deserve.
It is important for you to find professional help. Therefore, seek out a therapist or psychologist who can support you. They will help you to talk it out and identify the root of your problem so that you can continue moving forward.
Crisis Help Resources
I have some resources available for you here on my website. There are prayer hotlines as well as suicide hotlines that you can utilize if you are in a crisis listed on that page.
To Friends Providing Support
An individual who is having suicidal thoughts really needs your support. They probably won’t want help, but guide them to the help that they need. Make sure that the key players in their lives are aware of what is going on. Check in with them often and make sure that they are okay. Make sure that they know that they are loved and have a place in your life.
Whatever you do, do not turn a blind eye to this situation, and be sure that they are receiving help and talking it through. They may not want to be around people, but insure that they are. Too much time alone can result in more time for them to get deeper into their depression. Realize that this is a real thing, that they can overcome.
I Hope This Helps!
Chauntel
email questions to askchauntel@gmail.com
Terrance Howard and the “N” Word on Empire -Real Talk – Ask Chauntel
New Video: 28 Week Pregnancy Bump Update – Baby Ultrasound & Heartbeat
Hey guys here is my 28-week bump update! I share what has been going on with me and baby! I also share the heartbeat and the ultrasounds we have had thus far!
Videos Mentioned at End!
Maternity Haul Part 1
Maternity Haul Part 2 + Freebies I Got!
Guys Only Want Me For Sex – Dating Advice
18-year-old Veronica from Maryland writes:
Hey Chauntel,
I have never been in a relationship before. No one has ever taken the time to notice me I guess. I’m in college now, and I got my braces off over the summer before college. Now everyone is saying I look way different from high school. Even though it was a few months ago. Any ways now all these guys approach me wherever I go. Mostly guys in their 20’s and 30’s, never my age. All they want from me is one thing, sex. I want to wait until marriage, and I want a guy that respects me. However, it seems the only thing guys see in me is just another body to add to their list. I don’t know what to do? I want a relationship not just a fling.
Hello Veronica,
If you want a relationship and not a fling then a relationship you shall have. When I entered college I began to also notice older men showing interest in me. I didn’t know how to deal with it either at first. I soon learned that I was in complete control over myself and the guys I chose to let into my life.
If you want men to respect you, you have to respect yourself by setting a standard for yourself. Guys will only show respect to you as far as you ask for it. It isn’t always in what you say it is in how you carry yourself and the morals and values you set for yourself. You seem like you have some strong ones so I am sure that you will be fine.
Don’t give into the pressures of sex. It won’t be easy, but if you don’t want to just become another number on someone’s list then don’t! Keep yourself for marriage as you said you wanted to. I did, so I know you can too! Keep God in your life, and it will all work out!
And good for you for being awesome!
Be Blessed!
Chauntel
Ps. Here is a video that I produced for a woman with a struggle somewhat related to your situation:
5 Ways to to Compliment A Guy
Jazzy writes:
Hi Chauntel!
I am in middle school, and I have a boyfriend,. but I’m not sure what to say to compliment him. What are some good compliments that guys like to hear? Also, how am I supposed to react after he gives me a compliment? Am I supposed to compliment him back or just say thanks? This would be so helpful!!
Hi Jazzy,
When it comes to complimenting a guy, they are pretty simple. Just think of ways to play up his ego. Guys love to be complimented on their physical appearance. They also, like to know that you see them as manly.
Here are some simple compliments that you can give a guy that will keep him smiling back at you:
1. Oh you are so funny!
2. I can tell you have been working out!
3. I love being in your arms, you make me feel safe!
4. You are such a manly man!
5. Â I love being around you, you make me feel so special!
It is nice to be nice so if he gives you a compliment, feel free to compliment him back. However, you also have to know how to accept a compliment. You don’t always have to spit one back out as soon as you get one.
So in response to his compliment, you can spit one back at him, or you can simply say thank you with a smile.
I Hope This Helps!
Chauntel
email me questions at askchauntel@gmail.com
Encouragement to a Viewer About My Miscarriage – From Almost a Year Ago
Hey Jewels and Gems!
I received an email this morning that really touched my heart. I decided to share my response to a viewer who shared her miscarriage story with me. She basically thanked me for sharing mines, and expressed her pain of going through this situation.
Feel free to share this with someone who needs it or will be encouraged by it. I am sharing this because I believe  it may help someone else:
Hello Lisa,
I am so glad that you sent your email over. I wish it were under different circumstances, but nonetheless it is nice to meet you!
I am so sorry for your loss. It is very difficult to deal with something like this. I don’t think people really understand the pain associated with a miscarriage until they have actually experienced it.
However, I will say that there are a few people in my life that totally got it, even though it hadn’t happened to them directly. I totally understand what you are going through, and although we may not understand the reason, God knows best.
I am so glad that you have a supportive husband beside you. That makes a world of a difference. Stay encouraged. Don’t jump too early into getting pregnant again. You want your body to heal first. The emotional part will take time, and you will come to peace with it. However, one baby does not replace the last, trust me.
When you are both ready, then try again, and whatever you do, do not blame yourself.
I lost my baby at week 6, and we had shared that I was pregnant with many people. I had even made numerous YouTube videos about it. We had share it with our families, our friends, and church members.
If you choose to hold off sharing this time, as you said you were considering, I understand. However, don’t feel like you have to do that.
Although, people may not understand the depth of your despair, and some individuals will have a way of making you feel like less than a woman, I personally think it is good to share. The reason is for times like these when you end up needing the people around you to give you support. How will they know what you are feeling unless they knew what you were going through?
This is a very personal decision, and one that through prayer I know you will make the best decision for you and your family. I will be praying for you.
I believe the second time around, this time, I still shared my pregnancy with my family at 4 weeks, but we didn’t start sharing it with anyone else until we had an ultrasound with a heartbeat at 7 weeks. We couldn’t be more happy. We were afraid of course. That fear is inevitable, but we also were so excited and we wanted to believe that God was able to pull this one through. Thus far, he has done just that, and we cannot wait to see our little baby. So many people go through this, and some unfortunately go through it numerous times.
The truth is, no matter how far along you are anything can happen. So, I put it in God’s hands. Women at my church prayed over me and my second pregnancy(this one), and that really put my mind at ease. However, there were times that I found myself checking and rechecking that everything was okay when I visited the ladies room. Then, there was a point where I decided, I was going to drive myself crazy unless I put my trust in God. It is a constant struggle. however, Â I know he knows best, and then I tell myself why stress about something that you cannot control. Plus, it isn’t helping me or the baby.
I wish you and your family well. I know that God is going to bless you with everything that you need! Stay encouraged.
Lots of Love,
Chauntel
Videos Sharing My Story:
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