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How can you tell if someone cares?

Published on June 7, 2013September 3, 2017 by Chauntel Delgado1 Comment

Richard writes:

Hi Chauntel,

I wanted to ask you for advice in finding out if a girl really cares about you? Please notice, I didn’t ask if she likes or loves you, because anyone can claim with their words that they like or love you, but its more challenging to find out if they really care about you with actions or other concrete ways.

Thanks for answering my question.

Hello Richard,

People show that they care through their actions. Just giving you lip service (talking about it) does not mean much.

You have to examine your interactions with them.

Answer these five questions:
1. Does she treat you well?
2. Does she make time for you?
3. Does she include you in her plans?
4. Does she make you feel good when you are around her?
5. Is she willing to compromise on reasonable things to make you happy?

If she doesn’t treat you well, doesn’t make time for you, doesn’t include you in her plans, makes you feel insecure, and is not willing to compromise sometimes to make you happy, then she really doesn’t care too much about you.

One thing that I want you to take note of is people show that they care through different methods. Why? Well it is simple, everyone is different. Some people show that they care buy cooking, some by purchasing a special gift, some by making extra time in their day, some by expressing themselves through music or poetry, and some by physical touch.

There is a book that I would like to recommend to you. It is the 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman, and it’s less than $10 bucks. You can pretty much find it anywhere. Don’t get freaked out, I know that you said you didn’t want to use the L word, but face it if you care about someone you usually do love them, not to say that you have to be in love with them.