Hi I'm Chauntel, a small town girl with a big heart who knows the value of loving God and her family.
I produce relationship advice and natural mommy videos on YouTube. I also coach and train mompreneurs to build a brand that matters so that they can do more of what they love using the YouTube platform.
The world is so beautiful so we should appreciate every second that God has given to us! Peace and Love! Connect with me! @askchauntel
Email Advice Column questions to askchauntel@gmail.com
I love to shop on a budget and share what I buy on bargain! This series is new and it will feature the items that I am purchasing to update my wardrobe. It is a fashion journey to a new and updated wardrobe. I have been about the same size for the past 15 years and need to rid myself of some items as well as add additional ones to update what I have! You will also see new items that I am buying to bring some vibrance to my wardrobe! Enjoy and let me know if you have some items in your closet that you have been holding on for too long just like me! askchauntel@gmail.com
I have decided to begin giving my responses to some popular advice columns that I read. Below is my first entry taken from Ask E. Jean, column writer for Elle magazine.
Dear E. Jean: I have a wonderful two-year-old, who is the absolute light of my life, and a husband I adore. I love being a mom and desperately wish to expand our family. However, I have suffered three miscarriages in the past 10 months (despite testing and treatment for a blood-clotting disorder linked to miscarriage), in addition to losing my father. At the moment, I am hurting too much from all this loss and need to take a break from trying for another child, and I’m also recognizing that it may not be in Mother Nature’s cards for us to have another. (It took almost two years to conceive my daughter, so fertility has never come naturally for me.)
The problem is, nearly all of my friends are pregnant right now and I’m finding it incredibly hard to be around them. Watching their bodies change is a constant reminder of where I should have been had any of my pregnancies lasted. I don’t want to cut myself off socially, especially in a time of such grief, but I find it very painful to see such abundant fertility around me. What can I do, short of finding an entirely new group of friends? —Heartbroken
by zcool.com.cn
Dear Heartbroken,
You are dealing with such a very difficult time right now. I can totally relate to what you are going through. I just had a miscarriage myself about 7 weeks ago. I will post my videos below where I share my story.
Did you know that 1 and 3 pregnant women will loose their baby?
It is a reality that many people are not aware of. The pain that comes with a miscarriage is so very difficult both physically and emotionally. Although, the people around you may not quite understand exactly how you are feeling, what matters most is their love and support for you.
It is natural for you to be sad when you see your friends going along in their pregnancy, while you have continued to loose yours. However, I believe that you have the strength to overcome those negative feelings, but it is going to take some work on your part.
You cannot possibly be happy for them if you are beating yourself up over this. So, here is what you need to do. You first must stop beating yourself up. As women, we can find ourselves blaming ourselves for the fact that we cannot get pregnant or stay pregnant. We slowly begin tearing ourselves down. Then when we see women who are pregnant we may begin comparing ourselves to them and wondering why our pregnancy did not work out. That is the absolute opposite of what you should do. However, it may seem like the easiest road to take.
So, I want you to walk the unbeaten path. The path of a strong woman, who holds her head up high in-spite of the pain that she is experiences. Have confidence in yourself, and know that just because your pregnancies have not worked out it does not make you any less of a woman. Also, as that strong woman you must know that if these women truly are your friends they mean you no harm and you should embrace them during this hard time. If them talking about their pregnancies saddens you, then just be honest with them and let them know that you are having a hard time with the loss of your babies. Inform them that although you are happy for them, you would rather not talk about pregnancy at all. If they are truly your friends they should be sensitive to that fact, and heed to your request. If they do not, then they are selfish and not a true friend to you.
by adamr
Beyond that, lets thank God for our blessings. He has given you a husband who loves you and a daughter all yours. Those times when you begin beating yourself up just remember how blessed you are to have them in your lives. Some women will not ever get married or have a child, and you have both.
So, if it is really your desire to have another baby, don’t give up. It is going to take some time and it may take more heartache, but you are strong enough to endure it. Do you know how I know? – because God will not put more on you than you can bear, and you are still standing sista.
As a good friend of mines reminded me, an idle mind is the devil’s workshop, and all he wants is for us women to separate ourselves during our time of need. When you see your pregnant friends, instead of focusing on what they have, and what you lack, I want you to focus on what both of you have – love and family. Don’t see yourself as less than, but instead know that God knew you were strong enough to endure. We all have hard times, but this too shall pass.
Also, Don’t keep your feelings inside, discuss how you are feeling with your husband. He is hurting too, and during this time you two need to need to show love and support to each-other.
May God be with you and your family, and if it is in his will, you will have another baby.
When dealing with relationships sometimes we will run across people who will do their best to use and abuse us. How do we deal with these types of situations. How do you guide yourself through a situation where you have been taken advantage of? Watch!
Hey guys here I share with you the unboxing of my Influencer Vox Box. This particular Vox Box is given to brides, bridesmaids, mothers-of-the-bride, wedding guests,and wedding crashers of Influencer Nation! I received this Vox Box in the mail after requesting to be an Influenster and taking a number of surveys.
I am a bridesmaid in a wedding, and this may have been one of the reasons why I was selected for this particular Vox Box! I am a little late getting this up because I had been sick, but I am feeling much better now! I hope you enjoy!
Sally Hansen Complete Salon Manicure: $7.99
Olay Regenerist Lumnious Tone Perfecting Cream: $30.99
Pure Silk Moisterizing Shave Cream: $1.49 SRP (5oz): $2.19
EcoTools Pure Complelxion Sponge: $5.99
Tide to Go: 3ct for $7.99
I thought I would share this blog. She is a teen with confidence and a great voice! Change can be good people! As long as we are wise in what we do. Walk in God’s path and he will grow and change, and develop you!
I love your videos I wish I was as confident as you are!
I recently have a boyfriend of 4 months who’s 26 and who I deeply love and care about.
by Stock Images
We have never been too intimate, we never had our clothes off or touched each other let alone have sex. We’ve been only kissing and hugging.
The reason we never did this is because I’m a very insecure girl when it comes to my body. I’m natural skinny, have small boobs and a small a**. On top of that my boobs are asymmetric uneven which makes me more insecure.
My insecurity came from my ex verbally abusive boyfriend who would always say something negative about my body.
He would say things like “you have some chicken arms and legs” – “you have no booty” – “you should eat more”. He always say that he’s just joking and that I should know that he’s only ‘joking’.
But it’s not just my ex boyfriend who used to say that, my family too.
They always used to tease me like “you’re skinny cause you don’t eat a lot” – “you’re like a walking stick” – “people can break you in 2”.
It really really hurts my feelings say those things to me. I can’t do anything about how God made me 😦 If I could I would. Whatever I eat I just don’t gain weight. So that really damaged my self esteem and made me more self conscious.
I became so self conscious to the point where I used to put, hip and breast pads to create some curves so I can feel better and look more ‘attractive’.
I met my current boyfriend while I was wearing those pads. I always remove his hands when he gets near those places cause in afraid he might feel something strange. I’m afraid to get intimate with him and put my pads off he will see that I don’t have those curves and might like me less or even worse leave me.
I created something that I’m not, and now it’s getting in between me and the guy that I love.
So far he’s been really patient and he’s a very understanding guy but at some point he’ll lose his patience cause he got needs as well and would want to get intimate with me. Always talk about it, but I always try to avoid that subject he asks me why I won’t be intimate.
My question for you is:
How can I get pass this? Do I tell him about the pads or not?
And How do I become more confident about my body?
If you would help I would really appreciate that!!!!
Love you girl!
Hi Kaylee!
Wow there is so much to address here! I want to start off by saying thanks so much for your kind words. I am so glad that you have been enjoying my videos! It means so much!
by anankkml
So let’s take your question piece by piece, ok?
I am so glad that you have been able to find a guy that you are into that is also into you! That is so fun, right? I would just like to point out that, although the physical part is important to address, intimacy goes beyond just the physical. However, I do understand that you are in a situation where you feel that he is looking to get more physical. This is just as much your decision as it is his, so be sure that you are not rushing into or forcing it before it is time.
In my eyes its not such a bad thing that you have only been hugging and kissing! From my videos, I am sure that you know that I am Christian and believe in abstinence. So, my hope is that you will save yourself for marriage. Ultimately, this is your decision, but I want point out that based on your beliefs, values, and emotions, you must decide if and when you’re ready to go all the way with him.
Now, let’s talk about you being insecure about your body. We all have something about our body that we dislike and wish to mask. Some people even go as far as to change themselves through surgeries, but I am with you sista, God made us just as we are and we should embrace ourselves as such.
The only reason that we feel insecure about ourselves is because we find ourselves comparing ourselves to others. No good can come from that because we were all made completely differently.
As far as this ex-boyfriend of yours. He is scum. I am glad you were able to recognize the fact that he left you emotionally scarred. Knowing that alone will help you begin the healing process. Many times when people begin to tear us down, its because of their own insecurities. However, words hurt, but what you have to do is release those negative thoughts that he put into your head about yourself so that you can move forward with your life. Don’t give him this kind of power over you and allow it to effect your self worth. You have to let him and everything that came with him go. There is no need for you to carry around that emotional baggage that he has given you. Leave it for him to pick up.
No matter what he or your family has said about you. God made you to be just who you are and no one should dare try to challenge that. Who are they to question God’s creation. Sometimes, the people closest to us can be the most critical. The crucial part about it is their words can have the most impact. Why? Because they are close to our hearts and their words are just that much closer to tugging and tearing down our heart strings.
However, you have the power to overcome their horrible words and the pain that they have given you.
I would like to share a verse with you: Psalms 139:14
“I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.”
There is also a song that I will leave in the end of this post, called “Overcomer” it is powerful and uplifting! Once you let go of everyone’s horrible words and stop carrying around their pain with you, you will begin to breathe better. Then, I need you to stop comparing yourself to everyone else. Once you accept the fact that you were wonderfully made by God, and he loves you just the way you are you will begin to build confidence in your body. Do not compare yourself to other people because you will always be disappointed. Why? Because we are not the same and there is a true beauty in that right?
Yes, you should absolutely share the truth with your guy. If he really cares about you, although he may be shocked that will not run him away. However, if he is only with you for your body then he may not respond so well, but guess what if that is the case you don’t want him anyway.
You are absolutely going to be ok. Just prepare yourself mentally for the conversation because you do not know how he is going to react. Give him some time though, be patient with him. He may be upset with you initially, because essentially you have been lying to him non-verbally.
So be patient with him, and share this information because until you do your relationship cannot move forward!
I Hope This Helps, and I love you to girl! I also want to share with you a radio podcast that I recorded last summer. The title of the show is “Is Body Image Mental or Physical?”
This video explains how a combination of verbal and non-verbal cues can help transform your relationship from friendship to romance. Get out of the friendzone and catch your crush! Watch! Email questions to askchauntel@gmail.com
I want to send a special thank you to everyone for you love and support through this difficult process. This video is for those who have been following my journey as well as those will or have experienced this!
In this video I explain the physical pain that a miscarriage can cause. It can be very difficult to do normal day-to-day things, and you must give your body time to heal. I share my story of how I endured it, and I must say I could not have done it without my family.
I also forgot to mention that to soothe the cramps naturally, I drank fresh ginger tea and used a massager on my tense muscles.
Here is the video I was referring to towards the end of the video:
Unfortunately, we lost our baby. After 6 weeks of pregnancy our baby is in heaven. In this video I tell our story and try to offer some hope on how I have been overcoming the sadness as well as the physical and mental pain that comes alongs with a pain that goes deep. Please keep us in your prayers! May God bless all of you who are dealing with this. Know that you are not alone, and that it is not your fault. We must not blame God, but we must thank him for the life that he has given us and believe in hope for the future.
Lala writes Hi Chauntel, I am wondering if you can help me with this. I am considered the “emo” girl I don’t mind that but labels are for soup cans. I am going on my first date soon and I would like some help with the look.
Hi Lala,
Yes, people are always going to place a label on you no matter who you are or what you do. They will always find something bad to say. They did the same thing to Jesus when he was here on earth. Meaning, they called him names, and falsely labeled him. They also bullied and chastised him. You are his child. Although, we are all children of God some of us are lost. Those people who are talking about you and making you feel this way are those lost children. Because we are children of God you we will be taunted; However, we can overcome this through Jesus. He explains it in John 15:20-21. Here is the scripture:
“Do you remember what I told you? ‘A slave is not greater than the master.’ Since they persecuted me, naturally they will persecute you. And if they had listened to me, they would listen to you.They will do all this to you because of me, for they have rejected the one who sent me.”
Therefore, we must stay strong and continue to believe in who we truly are. As far as your date, I want you to have fun and stop worrying about these people and focus on what makes you, you. This is your day and you should dress in what makes you feel nice. He has to learn to accept you just as you are. Of course you should always put your best foot forward, but if you start trying to select things to make him like you, that don’t represent who you are, he is going to like some “off” version of you. To stay in the relationship you will then have to continue to play that character. Sounds exhausting right? Don’t do it! Be you!
When you go on a date you should dress in what makes you feel pretty. There is no true rhyme or reason to this.
However, choosing feminine clothing is always a good idea, but do it in your own way. Most of all, have fun. Remember he is a guy he doesn’t care what you wear as long as it isn’t too pinned or propped.
Stay away from extremes. Keep it simple and appealing to the eye as well as comfortable to you. If you wear something you are not comfortable in it will show. He will surely notice that. Don’t let your clothes define you, you have to define your clothes!
You dig?
I Hope This Helps!
Chauntel
email questions to askchauntel@gmail.com
Also, I am not sure if you have seen this yet, but here is a video that I did on a related topic:
check ask chauntel's availability 