I thought I would mix it up and post an old video! I received this question today, so it’s obviously needed!
Enjoy!
Tag: life advice
New Video: How to Deal with a Gold Digger – Relationship Advice – Ask Chauntel
When dealing with relationships sometimes we will run across people who will do their best to use and abuse us. How do we deal with these types of situations. How do you guide yourself through a situation where you have been taken advantage of? Watch!
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How to Convince Your Parents to Let You Have an Instagram
Hey Jewels and Gems!
I this question comes from a youtube viewer named Jessica Roberts! I screen-shot her question below.
Hi Jessica!
The best way to convince your mom or dad to let you have an Instagram is to show them that you are responsible. Many times your parents may have a hard time with allowing you to use social media accounts because they are afraid that you are not mature enough to handle the responsibility.
The truth is that owning social media really has become apart of what we do and who we are socially, but it also forces you to mature very quickly. What you post on Instagram, Twitter, Facebook, Youtube, etc…. can effect you for the rest of your life.
I know that, that sounds a little over-kill, but it is so true. It is called your online footprint. Once it is posted it is available for all to see and even if you delete it, it may have already been screen-shot or recorded. So at 11 or 12 years old that is a lot of responsibility in your hands. This is most likely why your parents are choosing to be so selective with allowing you to have an Instagram account.
Having an Instagram account is not necessarily a bad thing, but if you are not responsible with what you post it can be.
So with all that being said, the best thing to do in your situation is show yourself to be responsible and trustworthy. And ask your parents at the appropriate time. It may take a few times, and it may not happen as soon as you would like but in due time they should let up.
Be patient and don’t try to sneak behind their backs to do it. If you do and they find out you will be in a much worse situation.
At this point that is all you can do. When you do finally get an Instagram account be wise with what you post. You don’t want to post something that can come back to bite you later if you know what I mean! 🙂
I Hope This Helps!
Chauntel
First Kiss Kissing Tips
13-year-old Cody writes:
Hi Chauntel,
I think my girlfriend is going to kiss me, so how should I do it?
Hi Cody,
Kissing should happen in a fluid motion. It shouldn’t be rushed, and it very well shouldn’t make either of you feel pressured.
So, here are the basics:
1. Your hands should go around her waist, but not below the belt. Remember to always be respectful!
2. Her hands will naturally go above your shoulders around your neck.
3. Make eye contact. and see if she is on the same page and ready to go in for the kiss. If and when you see that she is, you can slowly go in for it. This will give you enough time to assess if she will meet you in the middle, or turn away instead.
Then you simply go in and naturally find her lips. After you lips meet, close your eyes. Otherwise it is a little weird.
And that is it! Great job you have had your first kiss!
I Hope This Helps!
Chauntel
How to Deal With Depression & Teen Bullying
Have you been depressed and looking for a way out? This video will help with that along with other issues that may be getting your spirit down. Even bullying can be overcome! Watch!
Videos Mentioned at end:
How to let go of Depression – Ask Chauntel with Reporter Elizabeth Espinosa
How to stop cutting yourself? – Life Advice for Girls – Ask Chauntel
How to Communicate with your Romantic Partner When You are Upset
Hello Jewels!
Today I am inspired to share with you the proper way to communicate when you are upset with your romantic partner(boyfriend, girlfriend, husband, wife). Communication alone is difficult for most of us, but no one said that sustaining a healthy relationship would be easy. However, just like anything else if you want it to be good it takes time and effort.
When we are upset with our partners, there are usually two responses we may give. Our first instinct may be to give them the cold shoulder. Some may begin yelling uncontrollably. However, we well know that neither of these reactions will solve the problem.
If you choose to give them the cold shoulder, which in turn is choosing not communicate, you may find yourself at odds for a painstaking long time. This extended amount of time at odds just forces the situation to become more uncomfortable. Coincidently, what you were upset about at the beginning becomes distorted develops even more problems.
On the other hand, if you choose to begin yelling at them, not only do both of you raise your blood-pressure, watching the veins pop out of your necks, but you may also find yourself in a daze of anger. So, what is the best way to deal with this?
You have to talk calmly to one another, and it has to be in the right setting. Meaning the conversation should be held privately. Don’t have these types of conversations in front of children or friends. Sometimes, these conversations make you feel vulnerable, and they can become heated debates. You do not want your children to see this. Friends and family should also not witness this conversation. It can become very personal and it is best to be held privately. Many times, the way you handle this will determine the strength of your relationship.
Watch your words because you don’t want to end up saying something ugly simply because you were caught up in the moment. If you find yourself getting upset take a moment and count to 10. This will give you a moment to gather you thoughts, so that you can proceed forward with the conversation.
Be sure that when you are having the conversation you are honest about your feelings and be sure not to say things simply out of anger, or the desire to make your spouse/bf/gf hurt more. Also, don’t hold your feelings in. You cannot rectify the problem if you do not share with your partner what is wrong. Your goal here should be to identify the problem and find a solution. Do not ignore it and sweep it under the rug. It will only get worse. This must be a collaborative effort. Both of you have to put time into this, and work to make it better.
Lastly, after the issue has been resolved. Show some physical sign of remorse. Apologize, and figure out how the situation will be handled in the future.
I Hope This Helps!
Have a questions? Click here, tweet me, or email me at askchauntel@gmail.com!
Chauntel
How to Plan for Success by Setting Goals
Have you ever wanted to make a plan for your life and some how found yourself off track? Are you tired of setting goals that you never achieve. Why is it so difficult to accomplish the plans that we set out to make? What can we do to change this? Watch!
Other Videos Mentioned:
How to Write an Action Plan
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Choosing to take action in your life is such an essential responsibility that we have. Making your dreams into goals makes an idea become a reality. If you are interested in taking action in your life today use the following method that I have created for you to see your action plan through.
To get started lets imagine a specific situation that you want to advance in your life. Once you have decided exactly what that is, we can get started.
Follow the steps below to create your action plan! You absolutely must write it down. I prefer pen and paper myself, but if you would like to type it up on your phone, tablet, or computer you can do that as well!
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1. Brainstorm! Write out a list of goals that you want to accomplish!
These can be long term or short term goals or both. You may not make an action plan for each of these goals today, but it would be great to jot down a few extras that you will tend to in the future. The sky is the limit! Don’t hold back here 🙂 You should write down at least 3 to 5 goals.
2. Decide on a specific goal that you want to make a plan for today!
Keep your goal list that you created in the first step handy, and map out 1 or 2 of those goals today in your action plan process. Save the other goals for another day. This could be about your personal, romantic, professional, or spiritual life. Be as specific as possible. This will not be effective if you make it broad and general. This process is meant to be very detailed and specific.
3. How will you get there?
To determine how you will accomplish your goal, you are going to first write an over-arching statement.
For example, if my goal is to become a veterinarian, my overarching statement would be, “I will complete veterinary school and receive the degrees, certifications, and experience necessary to start working as a vet.”
4. Plan it out step by step.
Now that we have our overarching statement we are going to write small and measurable short term goals that are specific to our overarching statement(long-term goal). This should be a very long list of steps. If you have less than 10 you are definitely not writing enough steps. You should have between 10-30 steps here at least.
5. Decide on what parameters you will utilize to determine when and if you have accomplished your goal.
Here is where you will decide, at what point your goal has been accomplished. As you work toward your goal you should celebrate the small victories that you encounter, but once you reach your long term goal you should be able to recognize it! If not, you were not specific enough and your parameters were not distinct.
6. Map out the amount of time that you want to accomplish it in!
If you aimlessly make a goal without a time frame, your goal setting process takes on the shape of an elongated process that may or may not have a conclusion. Sound familiar?
Therefore, if you want to make this happen in a timely manner you have to plan it that way.
7. Make your steps work for you!
It may be helpful to begin this process by writing the day that you plan for your long term goal to be accomplished in a calendar or daily planner.
Then, record the short term goals that you planned out in Step 4 in your planner or calendar. In this step you will map out exactly when your long term and each of your short term goals will be accomplished. This will officially make you an action plan star!
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And that is it! You have created your action plan! Good for you. It is quite a process, but it is well worth it. It gets the job done! Happy Planning! Be sure to let me know how you do with your goals! I want to here about it!
How to Resist Temptation and Be Strong in God – Ask Chauntel
Have you ever come across a temptation that was so strong that you could not find a way out. How do you overcome these spiritual challenges? What does God tell us about this? Let’s take it straight to the scripture! Watch!
My Boyfriend is a Jew, and I am a Christian – Relationship Advice – Ask Chauntel
15-year-old Summer from England writes:
Hello Chauntel!
I have a boyfriend who lives maybe 30 minutes away by train. We meet on a online chat room, and the same week we agreed to meet.
We have meet 3 times since. He’s 16 nearly 17. We have only known each other 5 weeks.
He asked me out on the second time we meet, and i said yes. I can’t tell my parents because they are really strong Christians and he is Jewish, they wont let me have a boyfriend, let alone a Jewish one. I don’t want to tell them just in case they don’t let me see him.
He has told all his friends and family that we are dating, but saying we meet at a party not online because he’s embarrassed of where we meet.
We Skype nearly everyday and i really really like him What should i do?!
Love from
Summer
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Hello Summer,When it comes to religion, it gets really gummy. I understand your dilemma. However, keeping him a secret is not the answer.
If you were of a marrying age my advice would be different(mostly run far away, This won’t work out., I wouldn’t touch this with a ten foot poll!), but since you are so young this is how I would approach your situation.
Go to you parents and tell them that you are interested in dating someone. Let them meet him. Try to stray away from conversations about religion. Don’t lie to you parents. If they ask then you must be honest, but if they don’t ask then don’t bring it up. Here is the thing, sneaking around, having secret train rides is dishonest and not safe. Also, you will loose their trust, and this for you will be unbearable.
They will trust you much more if you let them know that you met someone. If after you have to told them the truth, they still ban you from talking to him because of your differing religions you must respect their wishes.
As children of God, we must obey our parents. It is written, Ephesians 6:1, “Children, obey your parents in the Lord for this is right.”
Also, I wouldn’t make too big a deal out of this. It would be unwise to get into a deeply rooted relationship with him because eventually you will have to part ways.
The Bible informs us that to be together we must be equally yoked. What does that mean?
It means you have to be of the same mind. Meaning amongst other things, same religion, same values. There is a scripture in Amos, that says (Amos 3:3) “How can two walk together unless they touch and agree.” Now it doesn’t mean literraly touch. This verse in symbolic. Meaning on the same level spiritually.
I know that this can be annoying as well as seem unfair. I have been in your situation. I was a little older, but it was the same type of thing. I was dating a guy who was of a different denomination that me. I am deeply rooted in mine. We couldn’t agree, and fought a lot. I thought to myself, how can I be with a guy who doesn’t believe the same things as I do. What will my children believe? It was then that I decided it would not be a good idea to become too deeply involved with him. I dated him casually until I met the next guy. The end goal was to find a man that I could eventually marry. Which I did, and he is a catch :)!
Now, the religion title itself is not what matters. The belief system is what matters. As long as you go into your relationship with this understanding then I think you will be ok. But I recommend that you let your parents know that you are dating someone. Again, SNEAKING AROUND BEHIND THEIR BACKS IS NO THE ANSWER.
I Hope That Helps!
Chauntel
Email questions to askchauntel@gmail.com
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